I couldn't believe the most handsome guy in the room talked to me… It seemed surreal. I had always been prone to think that I was worthless, scum of the earth… only because of my condition… It wasn't because I was gay, oh no…. it was something much deeper than that…

I had resigned myself to the fact I was gay a long time ago, the condition was not so easily dealt with...I sighed again and pushed the carrots around my plate, flinching unnoticeably at the feel of the cool metal in my fingers, father would usually beat me with such silver…. Sirius calling my name snapped me out of it, and I looked up to meet his light silvery grey eyes, it jolted me to see such amusement dancing in them.

"Not hungry?"

"Not really" I said meekly, looking down, and trying to resist the urge to grab my book….it wasn't that I didn't like Sirius, or the gang, it was that I preferred solitude to loud and raucous groups of other teenagers.

"Do you think you could scoot down a little Remmy?" I looked up to see a very familiar face, framed by gorgeous scarlet hair, standing at the head of the cafeteria table, smiling at me with a warm glow.

"Lils!" James said, I just smiled a bit wider, knowing that I was truly going to be happy in this school.

"Lilly" I said wryly.

"Wait you two know each other?" Sirius asked, as if the concept was something totally coincidental and surreal to grasp, next thing I knew, he would be spouting things about the stars and planets choosing this little detail for us.

"Yes, me and Remus both work in the library together, and are on the town's scholar's bowl team together. We've been friends for several years now" Lilly said softly, sitting across from James instead of beside him. That one move told Remus all he needed to know, Lilly didn't care for James, but was too polite to tell him that right out.

"Wow, well ain't this a large fluky plot we've uncovered?" Sirius said as he scooted closer to me to make room for Lilly on their bench. I felt a tingle shoot up my leg where his thigh was touching mine, it made a wonderful heat flutter in my belly. Lily almost immediately noticed the way I looked at Sirius; which I could tell, told her I wanted to know the playboy…bad. He could also tell this almost mad her want to hit her head on the table at this little hint… he suspected she was thinking along the lines of, "I will not, and I meant not, allow Sirius to hurt Remmy."

"So, since when have you been going here Remmy?" she easily glided the subject, to keep the glances from becoming noticeable.

"Well, my Grandparents came and… retrieved me from my father, and took me closer in town to live with them" Lily didn't have to ask, but could tell from the look in his eyes, that they had finally rescued him from the fate he endured with his father. She smiled and grasped his hand from down the table.

"That's great Remus" The rest of the table looked at us in confusion, I could sense that Sirius felt especially like he was missing a part of the conversation… an important part regarding me… yet I didn't know and he was going to, determined to, find out what that part was.


"So who are you living with?" Lilly asked as she went with me to my next class, advanced chemistry.

"My Grandfather Ted Tonks and Grandmother Andie Tonks."

"Oh! I know them. My older sister, Petunia's boyfriend John Dawlish's partner is their daughter, Nymph Tonks." I nodded as I clearly recognized the name, I had to live with the crazy purple-haired girl after all, and sidestepped a copy of Shakespeare's works someone had dropped outside of the AP English room.

"So… Sirius then?" I looked to Lilly with one of those looks, as if to ask "how did you know?"

"Oh Remmy, I know you… and I know him. He isn't nice to who he dates. He uses them and kicks them to the curb"

"He may be different for me Lils, you never know" I defended the boy who was already nice enough to take an interest in me beyond making fun of my hair or clothing.

"Yeah right, just like James would be different for me…"

"Well, Lils…"

"I know, I know. You are just way to forgiving Remus" She said as she held the door open for me, taking in the crisp aroma of fresh chemicals with what I assumed was glee.

"I know" I whispered to myself as the classroom door shut slowly…


A/N: sooooo…. I have decided to turn this into a Multi-Chapter deal :D even though I prolly shouldn't, because I have wayyyyy too many things I should be working on right now *cough cough*