A new story from me! It's already written so the updates will be frequent and you won't have to wait for the new chapters for once :p It's only going to be 4 chapters long because I am
also planning a new multi-chapter story and the sequel to the story "Second chance to happiness". It takes place sometime in season 3. I hope you will enjoy reading this!
Thanks for reading :)
Disclaimer: I don't own House M.D. and the lyrics are from the song 'What would happen if we kissed' by Meredith Brooks.
Electricity, eye to eye
Hey don't I know you
I can't speak
Stripped my senses
On the spot
I've never been defenseless
I can't even make sense of this
You speak and I don't hear a word
It's a lovely night tonight… no clouds in the sky and the weather is still warm. Well, that's what everyone would say, for you it's just a day and you don't give a damn about the weather really…
You've been on the roof for almost an hour, just watching the sun setting. You don't really know why you came up here. You just know that you wanted to leave the room as fast as you could. So you just left your team deal with everything and you came to the roof.
You lean against the railing and you take a deep breath. It has been a while since you last lost a patient. It's been ages since you lost a child. You won't admit it to anyone but you hate it when the patient is a child.
You close your eyes and you rub your hand over your forehead. Your five year old patient is dead and you have no idea how to stop feeling like this. It shouldn't have been like this. You should have been able to do something, anything… You let out a sigh and you entwine your fingers together. You can still hear the parents crying and screaming in your head.
Minutes fly by but you just stand there, your eyes unfocused and looking straight ahead. You feel your leg starting to complain. You've been standing up for too long…
You reach in your jacket pocket and you retrieve your prescription bottle. You shake it slowly in your hand before opening the lid and retrieving one pill. You hold the pill between your fingers before placing it in your mouth and dry swallowing it.
It's time for you to return to your office… You remember having a bottle of bourbon somewhere in there. Your team has probably left by now, Wilson is at a conference and you saw Cuddy leaving some hours before so you will be safe.
You reluctantly grab your cane and after testing the pain in your leg you start walking back to your office. You avoid your patient's room and you head to the elevators and press the button to the fourth floor.
When you reach your destination you stop dead in your tracks. There is a light in the conference room and Allison Cameron is sitting at the table, her laptop in front of her and a file next to it on the table. Her hair is pulled up in a messy bun, her glasses perched on her nose and she is writing something in the file.
Your problem is that you can't see her eyes. You can read her like an open book when you look in her eyes but right now she is not looking at you and the lighting of the room isn't helping you make out her features clearly.
You let out a breath slowly and you decide to get this over with. You open the door to the conference room and you walk inside, letting the door close behind you.
"What are you doing here? I thought I sent you home." You say gruffly and you make your way to the coffee maker and you grab your red mug.
You start opening the cupboards, trying to find that bottle of bourbon you thought you had left somewhere in here. She watches you walk around but she doesn't say anything. You finally find the bottle you were looking for and you pour a generous amount of bourbon in your mug.
You take a sip and you drop your head back, your eyes closed, the hot liquid burning your throat. Your eyes open and you look at her face for the first time since you entered. Damn… the moment you look in her eyes you know she's been crying. There is a sad look in her beautiful green-blue eyes and for some unknown to you reason you want to reach out and touch her but you hold back.
You grab another mug and you pour some bourbon in it. You hand it to her and you feel her fingers brush against yours as she takes the mug from you with a small nod. She takes her glasses off and she rests them on the table.
"You didn't tell me what you are doing here." You tell her, your finger gliding over the rim of the mug.
"I had some charting to do." She replies and takes a sip.
You hook your cane at the white board and you hover over her, looking at the file that is on the table. Today's case…
"Leave that… someone else can complete this tomorrow." You say, trying to sound nonchalant but you fail.
"I'm capable of doing it myself." She snaps making you frown. You didn't expect that reaction.
"What's wrong?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.
She stands up and she stares at you.
"Nothing is wrong." She states, her eyes locking with yours.
You want to look away, you really do. But for some reason you can't and you find yourself drowning in her green-blue eyes.
"Well, then I must have done something since you are snapping at me." You tell her, your gaze never wavering from hers.
"Not everything is about you." She says, trying to control her voice.
"I wasn't the one that killed the kid." You say in the same tone and she turns to look at you.
"I know that!" she shouts and she turns around so that her back is at you.
She buries her face in her hands and she lets out a sigh.
"I'm sorry…" she mumbles without turning around.
You walk towards her slowly and you gently rest your hands on her shoulders. She tenses when she feels your hands but when you start massaging her shoulders she relaxes a little.
"I didn't mean to snap at you, you didn't do anything…" she says in a low tone, without moving from her position.
"It's just…" she trails off, her hands drop to her sides and you feel her shoulders tense again.
You move closer to her, so that her back is against your chest while your hands remain on her shoulders.
"What?" you whisper in her ear and she closes her eyes when she feels your hot breath against her skin.
"Everything was a mess, everything… his parents were screaming, begging us to do something, anything to save him. And we could do nothing but tell them that there was no hope, that there was nothing we could do to save their child. This is not how it's supposed to be… it was a child, just a child…" you feel her shoulders shaking and you hear a sob and suddenly you can't take it anymore.
Your hands glide down her arms and you make her turn around but she refuses to meet your eyes. Tears are running down her cheeks and the only thing you do is reach out and brush them away with your thumbs.
You try to remember when the last time you did something like this was but your mind isn't cooperating. You've probably never done something like this before.
Her tears don't stop and you do something that surprises her and even yourself. You catch her hands in yours and you pull her towards you. Your arms wrap around her body tightly and she buries her face in your chest. Her hands come to rest on either side of your waist under you jacket and she grabs fistfuls of your t-shirt.
She rests her head just underneath your chin and you rest it on top of her head. You rock back and forth trying to make her calm down and stop crying but she doesn't seem ready to stop yet.
"Shhh… it's ok…" you whisper, your hands running up and down her back in, what you hope is, a soothing manner.
Her body is shaking while she cries and her tears seep through your t-shirt. You hold her tightly against your chest and you hope that she will stop crying because you really don't know what to do.
You feel uncomfortable but at the same time it feels so good having her in your arms. The realization takes you off guard but you try not to show what is going on through your mind.
"There was nothing we could do to save him… you know that…" you whisper, tightening your arms around her body.
You feel her nod and she takes in a shaky breath. Her sobs subside but she continues clinging to you. Your presence seems to have a calming effect on her. Well, that's a first…
Before you have the time to realize what you are doing you drop a soft kiss on her forehead. She doesn't react so you don't know if she realized what you just did. She just holds you tighter against her and she lets out a small sigh.
You want to stay there and just hold her but your leg doesn't seem to want to cooperate. You have been standing up for way too long. Damn, you shouldn't have gone to the roof. You try to favor your left side and she must sense it because she reluctantly pulls back.
"Sorry..." she mumbles, averting her gaze.
"Last time I checked you weren't the one that did this to me." You tell her with a serious expression and she nods.
You grab a chair and the moment you sit down you start massaging your thigh, willing the pain away. She busies herself with her things and tries not to look at you but your grunt catches her attention and she finally looks at you.
"I don't need your pity." You snap but she doesn't look away.
"Who told you that I pity you?" she tells you in a serious tone.
Your eyes are locked together and neither of you backs down. You want her to look away because you can't be wrong, she must pity you. But she doesn't… her eyes stay locked with yours and suddenly you start to question everything you thought about her.
To her surprise you are the one that looks away first and your gaze drops to the floor. You hear her sigh and she starts gathering her things.
You watch her as she moves around the conference room, gathering everything and not looking at you. You want to say something, anything, but you don't know what.
When she slings the bag over her shoulder and she reaches for her car keys you stand up. You walk to the white board to retrieve your cane and you grab the file that was on the table in your hand.
"Come on, let's go." You tell her.
She looks at you questioningly.
"You haven't eaten properly in three days. I know a place that makes great pizzas." You say and before she can protest you grab her keys from her hand.
"Come on Cameron. It's just dinner, I'm not asking you to marry me." You say with a roll of your eyes.
"Fine…" she grumbles "But we are taking my car. You can't drive." She tells you and reaches for her keys but the moment she grabs them you close your fingers around her hand.
"I can drive if I want to."
"House, you can barely stand. And I know you brought the car today so you can't drive. Now give me the keys." She says evenly, her eyes on yours daring you to argue.
You drop her hand with a sigh and she starts walking out of the conference room. You tilt your head to the right as you watch her and a few moments later you follow her.
"Just park here." You say in annoyance and she just glares at you.
"My car, I'll park wherever I want." She tells you in a serious tone and you mumble something under your breath that she can't decipher.
She finds a parking spot just in front of the pizza place and after unbuckling her seatbelt she turns to look at you.
"See? We are a lot closer now." She points out.
Without a word you open the door and you get out of the car. You stretch your leg and although she sees you she doesn't say anything, she just starts walking towards the entrance. She pauses when she is at the door and she waits for you to join her. You are glad she doesn't comment.
"Please tell me you eat meat and not just rabbit food." You mutter when she opens the door and she actually smiles at that.
She chooses a table at the back where there aren't many people and she sits down. You decide to take a sit next to her and then you hook your cane at the back of an empty chair. For some reason you have no idea what to say now and you just sit there, tapping your fingers on the table and waiting for the waiter to come.
"Wanna share a pizza? I might let you choose the toppings." You say with a little smirk and she nods.
"Ok, sounds good."
You decide together on the toppings and you place your order. Your pizza arrives quickly and you both dig in immediately. Your last case was not only mentally but physically exhausting too. You didn't even have time to eat so you are both starving. And worn out…
"The pizza was great." She comments once you are both full and sated.
"I told you this place is great." You reply with a small shrug.
You reach in your pocket and you retrieve your prescription bottle. You take one pill and you dry swallow it and then you notice that her eyes are on you.
"Again with the pity." You state in annoyance.
"I told you it's not pity." She contradicts and you frown.
"So, you still insist that you wouldn't change anything about me." You say, sarcasm dripping from your words.
"Wanting to change someone and wanting to take someone's pain away are two completely different things. But, wait, that actually involves human feelings so you are never going to understand it." She replies in the same tone you used and you actually smirk.
She is getting better at this. She is not afraid to back her opinions and to stand up to you. She has grown a lot as a person over the past three years and you like that. It's good for her…
You decide not to continue this and after taking out your wallet you actually pay for your dinner.
"Come on, get up. I'm really tired to argue now." You state and she just stares at you when you get up and grab your cane.
You snap your fingers in front of her face and she glares.
"I know I'm sexy as hell but you don't have to stare like that." You tell her with a smirk.
"Don't flatter yourself." She replies and she stands up as well.
The ride to your place is quiet. Neither of you talks and you are thankful for that. You keep taping your fingers on your knee and she looks straight ahead all the time.
When you reach your place she parks outside and she waits for you to get out. You watch her as she runs her hand over her tired eyes and she yawns. And that's the moment you decide your next move.
Before she has the time to react you reach out and you grab her car keys.
"Hey!" she protests and she looks at you with a frown.
"You are sleeping here tonight. You are too tired to drive to your place." You say and you unbuckle your seatbelt and get out of the car.
"House, no! Give me my keys."
"Sorry, can't do!" you yell and you start walking towards your front door.
"I am capable of driving!" she shouts and gets out of the car, the door still open.
"I could drive too but you told me I couldn't." you shoot back and she groans.
She runs her fingers through her hair and she reluctantly closes the car door. She takes her bag from the back seat and then she starts walking towards you.
"Can you at least lock my car?" she asks in frustration.
You press the button on the car key in order to lock it and you fish for your own keys. You unlock your front door and you step aside, letting her walk in first.
She looks at you with a raised eyebrow and you smile mischievously.
"Don't worry, I don't bite… hard…"