Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the Vampire diaries or any of the characters. Nor do I seek to infringe any copyright laws. ALL RIGHTS belong to LJ smith & the CW network.

Summary: After the death of grams Bonnie blames one person. Damon and her team up to for payback but it is going to be one hell of a funny and insane ride for the both of them.

Chapter 1: Roommates and funny drunks.

After the horrific events of the tomb opening Bonnie had hidden away from Mystics falls. She'd refused Elena's calls and ignored the revelations her friend had made in them. She'd blamed Elena, Stefan and most of all Damon for Grams death. She'd never felt so alone in her entire life and without her role model, the woman that was basically her mother Bonnies life had shattered and her judgement impaired. She'd started to learn more of her craft intending to use her new gifts on Damon and even Stefan. But the solitude she'd had her week away had left her to recognize that they weren't to blame at all. Bonnie knew now that all the blame lay with only one person. Katherine. Her trails of deceit and masses of lies had lead to the decisions that had been made by all parties at the tomb that night and for that Bonnie was dead sure she would pay. Once that realisation was made she was ready to face mystic falls and all those that dwelled there.

Walking along the darkly lit street Bonnie was about to pick up some takeaway for the night, before calling Elena and telling her she was back. Approaching the grill Bonnie was shocked at the sight before her.

Damon drowned his sorrows at the Mystic Grill. The bombshell of finding out that Katherine had never been in the tomb had destroyed his whole purpose for existence. He couldn't even look at Elena without seeing the monster her great grandmother had transformed him into, reflected in her eyes.

"Hey dude I think that's enough aight" said the bar tender walking over to Damon's secluded booth.

"Look man! You ever had you heart ripped out by a woman you worshiped, would have died for?

Did die for?

Well then I suggest you poor me another!"

"Girls got to be crazy to mistreat an outrageously hot guy like yourself." said a pretty girl with dark hair and auburn eyes. She was tanned tall and exotic looking. She slid into the booth breathing in his manly scent. Damon just huffed. He couldn't understand why Stefan disapproved of him looking at humans like a piece of meat when that's exactly what this girl was doing to him. Damon decided to play along ordering them a few rounds of strawberry vodka shots.

"What say we make this interesting? We'll play I never" she said in her most sexy voice leaning into his personal space.

Damon scoffed at her childishness and youth but continued on nonetheless and soon he was completely wrecked. The girl had now pushed his leather jacket halfway off his shoulders and unbuttoned most of his shirt. She was all but attacking him and was now even stroking his legs and chest. Ordinarily Damon wouldn't have minded but right now the last thing he wanted was to feel cheap and used.

Damon was now pretty nauseated and just wanted this girl to get off him, she was soon kissing his neck and he just lost it pushing her away her slurred

"Get the hell off me!"

In his daze he managed to knock several glasses off the table which didn't go unnoticed by Sherriff Forbes. She approached him with pity written all over her face seeing the dire state he'd gotten himself into. He was just a young and naive man at times she thought. She quickly put her arm around his shoulder and attempted to guide him outside for some fresh air.

"Come on Damon I think we better get you home."

"My own personal police escort, it's kind of sexy!" he winked at her.

"Charming as ever."

She secretly blushed and tried to keep her eyes off his well defined chest and abs not to mention his slim hips.

"Look I don't know what's got you down but I'm sure after a few coffees and a good night's sleep everything will be okay."

"Nope just a loser Liz."

"Damon your a hero to this town, they may not know it but you are and tomorrow you'll wake up and this little moment won't seem as important anymore".

Bonnie couldn't believe it; it was almost like a comedy sketch. Sheriff Forbes was trying desperately to get a hell of a drunken and barely clothed Damon into her car. He was putting one good girly fight up though, flapping his arms and swaying from side to side not to mention huffing and pouting. It was all so human thought Bonnie. Bonnie had to hold in the giggle threatening to burst out. Caroline would have found her mums efforts pretty funny too and she couldn't help but document it for her. She pulled out her iphone and filmed the whole thing. She was still in awe as she had never seen Damon drunk or knew vampires could indeed get drunk. She decided it was rude just to stand and watch so she approached. The very least she could do was help poor sheriff Forbes out, she reasoned.

Damon was beyond agitated now. He'd flapped, he'd whined he'd done everything but bite and he was tired of this current manhandling. All he'd wanted was to get drunk and although he'd succeeded he'd got more than he'd bargained for. He was practically molested by the girl in the grill and was now being escorted home by a police woman. This was sheer ridiculous for someone of his years he inwardly moaned. Soon he was distracted when the smell of chocolate and spices filled his nose.

"Mmmmmmmmm" he moaned which earned him the most embarrassing look from Sherriff Forbes. Damon could now see a petite caramel skinned figure heading his way and out off know where...

" BONNIIEEEEEEEEEEE!" he slurred with more excitement than he knew he had in him. He also didn't think of the possibility she could be angry with him. He did indeed blame himself for grams death not that he'd let anyone know that.

"Wow looks like you got your hands pretty full there Liz" she gestured towards Damon while shaking her head at Caroline's poor mum.

"I think he's just had a rough night is all."

"Need a hand?"

"Bonnie Bonnie"

Damon now whined getting out of Sherriff Forbes grip and stumbling till he was almost stepping on Bonnie's feet. He placed his hands on either side of her shoulders bending down and just stared into her emerald green eyes. Damon just observed she didn't seem mad at him, this was good. He didn't want her to hate him. He turned to the sheriff

"I want Bonnie to take me home!"

"Um I don't think that's such a good idea Damon." she knew Damon was a good guy and that Bonnie knew him through his younger brother Stefan. However she still felt uneasy about letting a 17 year old girl be responsible for him. She also knew what Bonnie had been through of late and knew she had her own problems to deal with.

"Nonsense it's the best idea I've had all day!" he shooed at the Sherriff.

"Don't worry Liz I'll get him home. I'm meant to be seeing Elena at some point anyways and she'll be at the boarding house with Stefan.

"You sure about this?"

"Yes yes" Damon cut in.

Bonnie wrapped her arm around Damon's bare waist as his shirt kept fluttering open and guided him in the direction of the boarding house.

"This is going to be one gruelling walk home." she muttered.

Damon stopped dead in his tracks holding onto Bonnie tight.

"I hate her!"

"Me too."

Damon looked down into her green eyes that captivated him every time she spoke.

"I hated you too but that was just the rage blinding me. I blame Katherine and solely Katherine now." she said in all honesty.

"We should team up at get that whore!"

"Deal but let's get you home for now okay? I can't wait to see Stefan's face when he realises he has to take care of a half naked drunken brother tonight. Hey can vampires be sick because that'll be funny too?" she had to admit when drunk he was slightly adorable but only slightly.

They finally reached the boarding house. Bonnie didn't go in in the end. She was too starving and tired from carrying him. He was slim but mighty heavy she thought. She wondered if it was his vampire strength. She pushed him towards the door. He grabbed her arm before she could leave.

"It's a deal then right? A promise?"


"Punishing Katherine." he said in all seriousness.

"If you're definitely up for it then yes, I was going to do it anyway and the help would not be something I'd turn down." She said sincerely.

"Good then I'll be by your place tomorrow morning to get this show on the road."

"Oh okay Damon." Bonnie said sarcastically. "I'm not stupid we may have common ground on the whole Katherine thing but I don't trust you. Do you really except me to say sure Damon you're invited into my home, come any time, any day? OH PLEASE!"

Bonnie left him at the door unsure of why he was smirking so brightly. Finally getting home Bonnie was excited at the prospect of having a nice bite to eat and a relaxing hot steamy bath. Changing into nothing but her robe and slippers she grabbed the phone to order pizza, since her trip to get takeaway had taken an unexpected turn. She then went into her ensuite bathroom and started to fill the bath, she put in tonnes of bubbles, bath fizz, salts and even some witchy herbs for relaxing. She was about to take off her robe and get in when...


"What the hell?"

Bonnie whispered. Her heart racing at the speed of light. She grabbed a baseball bat and headed downstairs to the kitchen. The noise seemed to be coming from there and as she entered the kitchen she was even more surprised.

"What the fuck?"

The cutlery draws were open and the kitchen island had two plates and wine glasses out and in the middle was the huge cheese pizza she ordered.

Bonnie's heart just wouldn't stop racing. It was all surreal and utterly disturbing. It was moments like this she really really hated living all alone in Grams place. Suddenly hot alcoholic breath was on her neck.

"Honey I'm home!"

Although Bonnie had a darn good idea of who it was she spun round smashing the bat into Damon's side.

"OUCH WITCH!" it really did hurt a little in his current inebriated state.

"What the, how did you get in here count creepy?"

"You invited me in silly." he heavily patted her head as he slurred the words out.

"You're delusional." she screeched.

"Okay brain box then how'd I get in? Wait I'll give you the answer you said sure Damon you're invited into my home, come any time, any day." He made air quotes as he said this smiling smugly.

"I was being sarcastic and you look like a fool when you smile like that!"

"Well that's how I interpreted it." he smiled even more to annoy her. Her pout was something Damon had found sexy from the first time her crossed paths with her.

"Urg you sneaky little bastard."

In attempt to shush what he knew was going to be another rant Damon moved closer. Damon tripped over his own foot and was sent falling on top of Bonnie pulling them both down on the couch.

"Hey come on little witch I'm here now so let's just eat some pizza and discuss our diabolical master plan to get k k k "he stuttered. Bonnie couldn't help roll her eyes at his ludicrous state.

"Katherine, you drunk buffoon and get the hell off me your super weight is crushing me!"

"Ouch why do you wound me so?" He wriggled off her leaving his hand on her thigh.

" grrrrr you are unbelievable! And if you breathe in my face one more time I swear I'll light you on fire. It'll be quick too with the amount of alcohol you've been downing. Oh and don't think I haven't noticed! Remove your hand from my thigh!"

"Demands demands! What were you doing anyways?"

"Ready to have a nice relaxing bath till you barged in."

"Sounds good let's go."

" eeeew grossify me! But I definitely think you need one more than me. Come on count creepy."

Bonnie guided Damon up to her room immediately realising her mistake. The guy could not keep his hands to himself he really was a child in an adults body. A very sexy body she inwardly cursed herself for that thought.

"Hey hey Bon BON?


"No need to shout honey. I just want to get those pictures down, wanna get a better look. He gestured to above Bonnie's mirror where there were pictures of her when she was younger.

"God just sit down don't you know girls don't like guys messing with their stuff?

Damon completely ignored her kicking off his black biker boots and jumping face down into her pillows on her bed.


"But I'm comfy!" He pouted getting under the covers and turning off the bedside light.

"NO WAY MR. I'm gonna call Stefan so he can deal with this!"

"Look I'll behave I swear, just one night honey, no naughty stuff or would you prefer I go out and find someone to compel.

"Urg fine but get off and go take a bath the water should still be hot."

"You're going to bath me?" Damon said in shock and complete excitement.

" eeewwwwwwwwww no! But you are a state!

Damon fiddled with the buttons on his shirt he'd managed to get a few up since earlier but now he was struggling to get them back down.

"Help me?" he wined

Bonnie closed the distance between them. She pushed his heavy leather jacket off and folded it on her chair. She then unbuttoned his shirt and did the same. She was reluctant about the pants but she could see the challenge in Damon's eyes. She put on all her confidence and pretended it didn't faze her. His pants just slid from his slim hips and there he was ripped abs smooth chest, his dark messy locks a little sweaty from all his fidgeting about.

"What about my boxers?"

"Figure that out yourself" she pushed him into the bathroom completely speechless and to what was happening tonight.

A few minutes of silence and it was too good to be true.

"Bonnie" Damon whinged.

"Seriously what is your problem today?" Bonne however couldn't deny this little drama was a nice distraction for once. She took a deep breath before opening the door and peering in.

"What?" she asked nervously looking at Damon covered head to toe in clumps of bubbles. He actually looked kind of harmless and cute. But she banished the thought immediately.

"You can come in you know I won't bite unless you want me to and I promise not to expose myself much." he said in sing song voice tilting his head to the side examining her.

"Cocky little" Bonnie mumbled

Bonnie knelt down on the rug next to the bathtub finally looking into Damon's icy irises.

"So purge what do you want?"

"Do you think I'm stupid for loving her?" He hiccupped

"Course not" she ran her fingers through his soaked dark locks and used a sponge to wash the soap out. "Love is blind Damon and it affects all beings. I mean I love my dad even though he never even talks to me and practically lives away from me. Now I've put some blankets on the couch downstairs I'm off to bed you'll be okay here right?

" mmmmmhmmmmmm" was the only response she got from him.

Walking out of the bathroom in just his boxers he noticed Bonnie had already changed into her pyjamas and was deep in sleep. Damon pushed her to the side crawling into the bed. He pulled her into his chest wrapping his arms around her resting his head on top of hers. He was so glad for the warmth and security he felt in that moment. He really hated that about the boarding house he had not warmth or security there. Being able to hear Stefan and Elena snuggling up together it infuriated him and got him thinking. He soon drifted off to sleep.

Bonnie woke up hitting at her alarm clock that read 12:00 to be quiet. Pushing off her sheets she decided she needed a hearty brunch of bacon and pancakes to start the day. Licking her lips she headed for the bathroom to wash up. She figured Damon had eventually found his way home.

"Weird night." she muttered thinking of how utterly ridiculous but funny his antics could be.

She continued to brush her teeth completely unaware of the extra tooth brush in the holder.

Heading downstairs into the kitchen she dived straight into the fridge to retrieve the bacon and pancake mix. She again was entirely oblivious to the red pouches of blood now safely stored there. After breakfast Bonnie decided it was time to go see Elena. She opened her closet to pick out a decent outfit and almost got a heart attack. She peered in expecting to find an assortment of dresses and various girly outfits.

"Holly crap!"

Amongst all her clothes now hung Armani suits, Calvin Kline shirts, John varvatos t-shirts, various Italian made trousers, dark faded jeans and leather jackets. She also couldn't ignore the strong scent of cologne that wafted thought her closet.

Running to her underwear draw she opened it to find black boxers and socks among her gilry collection.

"You gotta be shitting me?"

On her desk was also a comb which definitely wasn't hers and a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Bonnie was mortified and frozen still trying to process these bizarre events. She started to repeatedly pinch herself.

"Well hello wifey!" she spun around to see Damon jump onto her bed.

" D D D Damon" she stuttered " have have you moved in?" she said with such shock and disbelief arching her brow and opening her mouth in an o shape.

"Ding Ding Ding give the girl a prize"

" bb but" Damon shushed her.

"Look I don't want to be around Saint Stefan and Princess Elena anymore and since we will be working together to kill Katherine it makes sense. Sides you're all alone here. I figure it's my duty to protect you and I feel I should take care of you since well you know everything.

"You know it'll be alotta fun. Wild times Bonnie wild times!" Damon smiled devilishly lightening the tone of his previous statement.

Bonnie knew this was the start of a hell of a world of trouble. Bonnie jumped on her bed pulling the covers over her head and pushing Damon off.

Damon and me living together he's gonna drive me metal. She thought.