I don't own Twilight.
Boy meets girl and they fall in love. They have the ideal engagement and perfect wedding. They wait a couple of years before considering the idea of having a family, after all, they are newly weds. Three years later, they decide that its time. The idea of having a family, of having children that are a mixture of the two of them, fills their heads with wonderment.
The Mr. envisions a son that will play baseball, like he did. They would spend the weekends playing catch in the backyard. That would lead to little league and then high school games. Maybe even the College World Series one day. He would teach his son everything he knew about life, passing on the advice and sound knowledge that his own father had given him through the years. The misses however, saw nothing but pink- pink bows, pink dresses, little tiny pink shoes. Pink. Pink. Pink. Maybe with a little purple thrown in for good measure. She saw a little girl with curly brown hair, like hers, and bright green eyes, like his. She envisioned tea parties, shopping trips, prom dresses, first dates, and someday another wedding. She had the names picked out, even if she wasn't sharing them with her husband yet.
All seemed fine, the "work" it took to make a baby was a task that neither one of them minded. It was still new and exciting, and after their "jobs" were completed, they would lie in each other's arms and wonder if their lives would be forever changed in just a few short nine months. They would fall asleep, dreaming of Saturday baseball games and pink ruffled socks. Life as they knew it was perfect.
That was two years ago. Two years ago, it was making a baby. Now it is trying to have a baby. The difference between those two words never seemed harsher. The perfectness that was their lives, before the making became a trying, was no more.
This is the story of how the trying lead to a feeling of failure. It is a tale of how disappointment and heartache can show you the true meaning of love and grace. This is a story of being beautifully broken.
My eyes watched as an obviously pregnant woman walked through the waiting room. Her hands sat on her stomach and she looked blissful and perfect. She had that glow, the glow I envied, and a smile that said everything she didn't have to. She was happy.
"So what did you find out?" the receptionist asked.
Mommy –to-be smiled and rubbed her belly. "It's a girl."
There was squealing and giggling. I looked back at the floor and tried to ignore the broken feeling in my chest.
"That will be you one day." My mother gently hit my arm with her elbow, nodding towards the giggling.
I just keep staring at the floor and wished for the hundredth time that Edward had been able to come with me today. But he had missed so much work because of these appointments. I couldn't ask him to take off another half day just to watch me sit on an exam table. Besides, if everything went well today then that would mean he would probably have to miss a few days when we started the artificial insemination. I held on to the feeling of hope that crept into my heart and focused on the magazine in my lap.
"Bella?" My mother and I both looked up. Angela, Dr. Bestio's nurse, was smiling at me. "We're ready for you."
My mother gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and I felt her eyes following me to the door. I tried to return Angela's smile, but she knew I was nervous.
"This will be quick," her voice was kind. "She'll have you in and out of here in no time."
I followed her into the exam room and took the hideous paper gown she was handing me.
"Just put this on, opening towards the front. You can leave your top on if you like, but you'll have to remove your pants and underwear. "She put a pink paper sheet on the exam table. "You can cover up with this if you like. We'll give you a few minutes and then we can begin."
Angela left me in the cold and sterile exam room. The white walls were sparsely decorated with generic framed pictures depicting relaxing scenery. It made me hate this room even more. I began to remove my clothes, folding them carefully before placing them on the chair in the attached bathroom. I put the gown on and shuffled to the exam table.
As always, I sat down and covered my abdomen and legs with the sheet. Like always, I stared at the back of the door and waited for Dr. Bestio. Unlike always, Edward wasn't here to keep my mind from wandering through all of the what ifs and could have beens.
I closed my eyes, silently praying that the two years of absolute hell would finally pay off.
A/N: Just feeling out a few things. This story is going to be immensely personal so please think twice before leaving rude comments in the review section.