Story Name: Impossible

Pen name: EJ Santry

Pairing: Edward x Riley

Disclaimer: SMeyer is the stage. I am merely a player.

To see other entries in the "SLASH BACKSLASH" contest, please visit the C2: .net/c2/68069/3/0/1/

I walked into the crowded club. The thrum of the bass beat reverberated through my chest. I was in a navy tailored suit and my white dress shirt had its first few buttons undone, my tie had been left on the front seat of my Audi R8. The colorful lights played off my pale skin and the dozens of eyes that were trained on me. I exuded wealth, power, and a little bit of danger, all descriptors that I lived up to well.

Making my way back to the VIP section, nodding at the bouncer who led me through to my private table. Several of my men were already waiting for me as I slid into the booth. One of my boys handed me my two fingers of Scotch.

"What do we have tonight?" I asked the table, swirling the amber liquid as I studied each face.

"The business on the docks is arranged," Emmett said from across the table. He was the operation's main enforcer, my heavy. When a target needed persuasion, or I was simply through talking, he got the job done. I simply nodded.

"Deposits for today have been made," Mikey said handing a pile of receipts to me.

"Looks good," I noted before handing them back and watching him tuck them into his briefcase. Mikey was my accountant, and kept my money were only I could find it. "Anything else tonight, boys?"

Several of the boys shook their heads while the others remained quiet. They had earned a little something with their loyalty to me lately, so I nodded at the bouncer and he let in a few presents I had picked out for my boys. The girls, with their fake tits and tiny waists in barely there clothing, sauntered over to table. They were led by Alice.

"Hey, handsome."

"Hey, beautiful," I said kissing her on the cheek.

For the next hour I watched as the boys would disappear from the table, into a private room with one of the girls. Sometimes, to my utter amusement, they would go in small groups - two guys with one girl, or two girls with one guy. With a sly grin, I finished my second glass of scotch and tapped Alice on the thigh. It was time to go.

"Heading out already, Tony?" Emmett called from a table where he is playing cards.

"Yeah, we're out of here. See you guys on Monday."

Wrapping my arm around Alice's small shoulders, I led her from the club. The valet brought my car around, and I help Alice in before sauntering around to the driver's side. Throwing the car into drive, I peeled out onto the dark street stretched out in front of me. Alice pulled a t-shirt and black leggings from her bag, quickly ditching her slutty attire for the comfortable clothes. The four inch heels were replaced by tennis shoes.

I drove along to a small white house in a quiet neighborhood. Pulling up to the curb, I handed Alice her cut for the role she plays and for her silence. I would never subject her to the things that the other girls do for cash once they disappear into the back rooms. She is my buffer, my front, because I like to keep my private life private.

"Good night, Tony."

"Night, doll."

I watched her walk up her driveway, and saw a small boy run up and throw his arms around her legs. She lifted him up and is smiling. Her husband, Jasper, was my best friend growing up. He has been out of work, and is too proud to let me help him out. So, Alice goes to her "part-time job" a couple days a week, and I get to help an old friend. Meanwhile, my secret is safe.

Pulling off into the night, I pointed the car in the direction of my favorite destination - home. A home no one knows about. A life that no one knows I lead. I pulled up to the curb in front of a beautiful brownstone nestled amidst many of the same. Here I have flower boxes. Here I have quiet and comfort. It is here that I have him.

"Baby, I'm home," I called out as I walk in the door.

I stepped around the corner and met the eyes of my beautiful boy. Riley. He sets down the spatula he was using to scrape something out of the Kitchenaid mixer. I took a deep breath testing the air for whatever he was making and moaned as the delicious smell of bread filled my nose. I looked over to the counter and saw a couple zucchini laying out.

"The zucchini is in, I see and smell," I said smiling, as he walked up and puts his arms around me, kissing me gently on the lips.

"It is," he said as he brushed his lips feather soft against mine. "Plus, I know a certain man who is a sucker for zucchini bread."

"It's not the only thing I love," I acknowledged sweeping my thumb across his cheek and giving him a slow, lingering kiss.

He pulled away laughing after a moment.

"Hold that thought, while I put the last batch in the oven."

He ran over to the kitchen and finished pouring the mix into the waiting bread pans. I watched as he hurried about the kitchen in his gray t-shirt and loose fitting jeans. The sound of his bare feet on the hardwood floor calmed me as he patters from the island to the stove. Seeing his sweet innocence helps me to cast off the remnants of my other life. He set the timer, and came around to where I was sitting on one of the bar stools at our kitchen counter, and stood between my knees.

"We have an hour," he whispered as he slid his hands up my thighs before his mouth finds mine. I held him close and breathed in the boy who has turned my life upside down.

I was one of those guys whose picture you see tacked to an FBI cork board. My family had been running things along the shore for almost 100 years. I was not at the top of the organizational chart, but I wasn't far from it. With each level that I moved up that chart, it got harder and harder to hide who I really was because being gay in my line of work could cost me my life. I endured day after day hearing "fag" slung around as a derogatory term, and the nasty comments of the men who surround me whenever PRIDE weeks rolls around. I had always been able to easily keep my personal life separate, secret. Nameless, faceless encounters to scratch an itch when I needed it over the years. That all changed almost a year ago.

I always waited for the busiest nights at the clubs. Nights when I was just another body in a swarming crowd of boys. Dressed more casually than what I normally wore, I made my way through a mixed crowd of dressed to the nines and half naked boys. I blended somewhere in the middle in my relaxed jeans that hugged my ass perfectly topped with a snug navy blue t-shirt. Simple and forgettable if I needed to be. I observed, and was only noticed when I wanted to be.

That night a drunken twink knocked my future into me. I turned, upset, to see his dark eyes wide with apology, quickly trying to explain what had happened. Once I let him know no harm was done, he offered to buy me a drink to replace the one that spilled. His sweet smile had me quickly accepting. We chatted while we sipped our drinks. Riley was a law student at Columbia. I said I worked in my family business doing mostly finances. The half-truth was out before I could stop myself. Something about him had me wanting to tell him everything, and that was very dangerous for someone like me.

After a second round of drinks on me, Riley motioned to the dance floor. I nodded in agreement taking his hand and leading him into the throng. The music pumped and the lights flashed as our bodies began to move against one another on the dance floor. Flashes of a strobe offered me the occasional flash of him. The curve of his ear. The bend of his elbow. A glimpse of the want in his dark eyes. Mostly, I felt. I felt his hands on my hips, in my hair, down my back, and stroking the sides of my thighs. His hands snaked under the hem of my shirt looking for permission, as I pulled it off over my head and tucked it into my back pocket while he did the same.

Then the music began to pulse just like my cock was beginning to do in my pants. Heavy, strong, full beats, as our sweat slick chests press together. It was then that my mouth found his. Gradual desperation built as our tongues tangled. He grabbed my ass pulling me into him, and I couldn't hear his moan but I felt it in my mouth and my chest that was pressed so close to his. As the song ended, we came up for air and I took his hand, leading him from the floor towards the door. We both were pulling on our shirts, and he followed me out to my car. No words had passed between us, but none needed to. He was coming home with me.

Home was my brownstone on these nights. I'd never taken a lover to my cold condo in the sky. That was for business associates. He leaned over to nibble and suck on my neck as I drove, and I was never so happy to see a parking space waiting for me outside of my door. I parked, and I pulled him inside with me. The door was barely shut when I had him pinned against it kissing him deeply.

"Take me, Edward," Riley plead once his mouth is free. I had given him my middle name. Another half truth. So that night I did. I bent him over the back of my couch and fucked him until he was crying out my name in pleasure.

But so much has changed since that shallow night all those months ago. A week after our encounter, I was at my favorite bookstore hidden in one of the "villages" around town. The kind of store that was made out of a bunch of old spaces that have been awkwardly sewn together. It was musty and crowded, and I felt like I could hide away from my world there. A small corner where I could be myself, lost in the worlds of fictional adventurers. Those who are free to travel and bravely love where others would shun. I was curled up in a window nook one rainy afternoon when I felt someone nudge one of the feet that were folded up in the small space. I lowered my book to see the smiling face of the boy from a week before.

"Edward," he said as he smiled. "I thought that was your hair sticking up behind those pages."

I ran my hand through my hair with a laugh.

"Yeah, it is hard to hide this stuff without a hat. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I live close by, and there's nothing like curling up with a book on a rainy day. I just finished my last one, and was looking for something new to pass the day with. I see you had the same idea."

"I come here when I need to escape for some quiet time."

"Understandable. Well, I won't bother you any longer. It was nice seeing you, Edward."

He started walking away then, and I found myself for the first time not wanting someone to go.

"Riley, wait!" I called out in a hush, and then looked down at my watch. "Would you like to go grab lunch...with me?"

"I'd love to," he said with his eyes alight.

That meeting and lunch date turned into days and weeks of quiet afternoons and passionate nights. Everything was easy with Riley. We just clicked. He was a private person. He, too, wasn't out to his family, so we lived in our quiet bubble. In a way, I had found my true family. One which would accept me for all that I was. A man who loved the real me. Yet, always nagging me was the fact that part of me was lying to this man who I loved. I continued to justify it, because it was for both of our safety. He would be used to get to me if he was discovered, and I would be another headline of a dead mobster.

"Where did you go?" Riley asked cupping my face and bringing me back to the present.

"Just remembering."

"Remembering what?"

"The night we met. The day at the bookstore. Every day since," I said running my fingers through his hair, listening to his contented sigh. "I love you, Riley."

"I love you, too, Edward," he responds with unshed tears sparkling in his eyes.

"Come with me." I took his hand and started up the stairs.

I lead him to our room, and begin to slowly undress him, as he rids me of my own clothes. Fabric was replaced by tender kisses on arms and chests. Unlike that first night, tonight will be slow and reverent. Once Riley was naked standing before me, I took a moment to just hold him in my arms, feeling his taut, warm body close to mine. I breathed him in, and exhaled the outside world. In this moment, I wanted it to just be us. His arms came around my waist and pulled me even tighter to him, letting me know he needed the same.

Walking forward, I lead him to the bed. He pulled himself up to rest his head on the pillows before looking up at me. I was almost crippled by the love I saw there. It almost hurt how much I loved him. I reached over to the nightstand pulling out a condom and some lube, before I laid myself against him and spent some time paying worship to his soft mouth. I could taste the batter from the bread that still lingered on his tongue, and I slid my arms under his back, to pull him closer, deeper into our kiss.

Of their own volition, my hips began a slow rocking against him, our cocks trapped in delicious friction between our bodies. Our kisses ceased and are replaced with our moans that seem to echo into each other's mouths that are hovering a breath apart. I closed my eyes and got lost for a moment in the sensation of the smooth skin of the head of my cock rubbing over every ridge and vein on Riley's. After a few passes, I could feel the pre-cum from both of us lubing our shafts, and my eyes flew open to see Riley's head thrown back in pleasure.

"Baby, you feel so good under me, against me," I murmured as I kissed and sucked on his jaw.

"Edward, I need you," Riley plead.

I kissed him deeply once more before sitting back on my haunches, and grabbing the condom. I kept my eyes locked with his, as I tore open the package with my teeth, and rolled it onto my eager cock. As Riley watched me, he brought up his knees, offering himself to me. I almost came on the spot as I watched him open the bottle of lube, pour some onto his fingers, and then reach down and start preparing himself for me. Though I was fixated on watching his fingers slowly disappear, and then reappear out of his now slick ass, I could feel that his eyes had not left mine.

"Oh, God, baby, I could watch you do that all night."

"I could watch you do that as well," he said nodding at the fact that I had began stroking myself unconsciously, "but I would rather have you deep inside me."

He slid his fingers out, and grabbed onto the back of his thighs, opening himself for me. I leaned forward claiming one long kiss as I guided myself into my waiting boyfriend.

"Edward..." he breathed out, as I eased into him.

I had to close my eyes for a moment. Every time I was with him was so overwhelming, body and soul. We began to rock together, giving and taking. Our eyes locked as we make love. Whispered words of affections were mixed with our cries of pleasure. I held him close to me, and he reached around grabbing onto my ass and pulled me deeper into him.

"Oh fuck, Riley."

"Deeper, Edward. Fill me up. I'm yours. I'm yours!"

I began to thrust harder and deeper. Riley's cries became louder, mutterings, moans, and affirmations of "yes". I was so close, so I shifted my hips at the angle where I knew I was rubbing against his prostate. He cried out, and I could feel my balls tightening.

"Edward! I'm come...I'm coming...I'm..." he muttered out before freezing and I watched enraptured as stream after stream of liquid shoots out across his taut stomach. Seeing that and feeling his muscles squeeze me tight, I thrusted one final time, crying out his name, before falling forward onto my lover. He was still panting hard, but reached his hand up and began running his fingers through my hair, pausing on occasion to kiss my forehead.

"I love you. I love you. I love you," I chanted as we caught our breath and held onto the moment as long as we could.

The sound of the timer on the oven broke us from our spell. We both laughed, and I eased myself out of him, and went to clean myself up in our bathroom with Riley right behind me. He quickly wiped himself clean and pulled on his jeans before racing down the stairs to his waiting bread.

I washed up and pulled on my sleep pants and a t-shirt. Pattering down the stairs in my bare feet, I watched Riley, pulling the bread out of the oven as he replaced it with what looked like baked ziti he must have prepared earlier. He shut the oven door and set the timer before looking up towards me on the stairs where I was frozen in my reverie.

"Like what you see?" he asked smiling. I finished the distance down the stairs and took him in my arms kissing him once again.

"No. I love it."

A few weeks later, Riley was waiting for me with his coat on when I got home.

"Hey, sweetheart," I said walking in and kissing him softly before setting down my own coat and briefcase. "Where are you off to?"

"It's a nice evening and the leaves are changing. I thought we could take a walk before dinner."

"Sure, let me get out of this suit."

I ran up the stairs and exchanged my suit for some jeans and one of Riley's Columbia sweatshirts. I slid on my sneakers and hurried back down the stairs and slid into the leather jacket that Riley was holding out to me. We walked out the door, locking up, before he slid his arm through mine, and we took off walking towards the path that ran along the river just up the street. The silence was comfortable, but I could tell something was on his mind. He had his contemplative look on, and I knew he needed to organize his thoughts. When he finally pulled to a stop to lean against the railing and look out at the river, I knew he was ready.

"Do you ever get tired of it all, Edward?"

"Tired of what, babe?"

"This life. The craziness. The obligations. Being on edge."

"Yes, of course, but what brought this on? Classes been rough?"

"No, just..." He turned to me then, taking me in his arms, and burying his face into my shoulder. "I just love you so much. I never thought...when this started..."

"Shhh. I know what you mean," I said lifting his head and kissed him tenderly on the lips. "I love you so much, Riley. You are the only good thing in my life. You make the rest bearable."

"Let's run away for a bit then," he said with an almost frantic need and excitement. "Mexico. Europe. Let's just get on a plane and go."

I laughed at his enthusiasm.

"Now is not a good time, but when your classes are up, I think I can take some time off of work. I just have a big project that I need to finish up."

"Can't someone else do it, Edward? Why does it have to be you?"

"It has to be me, babe. I'm in charge. There are others depending on my leadership to get..."

I didn't get to finish, because at that moment I heard it. The sound of helicopter blades cutting through the silence. It all happened so fast, almost in slow motion. Sirens. Squealing tires. I looked around in a panic, watching cops emerging from vehicles, un-holstering weapons. There was no doubt in my mind, this was for me.

"Riley, go home."

"Edward, I don't understand."

"Riley, just go home now!"

"Edward..." was all he got out before there was a rush of police and FBI all around us. They grabbed Riley first, and when I lunged to get their hands off of him, they restrained me.

"Let him go!" I yelled. "He's an innocent. He knows nothing. Riley, I'm sorry."

"You are under arrest, Mr. Cullen..."

The rest of my Miranda rights faded to the back of my mind as I watched my sweet boy being lead away by the cops with a look of emotional pain crippling his face. When I got to the station, once again I told them to let Riley go. That he had no idea who I really was. I could hardly care about what happened to me, as long as Riley didn't have to spend one day in jail and especially not one second in an interrogation room with these pricks.

Finally, when Aro, my lawyer, arrived, I asked him about Riley's whereabouts and whether they let him go. I told him to get him out first. Aro told me that they had let him go. I breathed my first sigh of relief since this whole thing started. Aro wanted to talk about the case that they might have against me, but I just wanted him to be sure, no matter what happened to me, that Riley was taken care of financially and physically now that the mob knew their golden boy had been fucking him.

I spent the days and weeks waiting for the trial to start writing letters. Letters to my family. Letters to my men. Letters to Riley. Aro delivered all of them and messages were returned to me, except my letters to Riley returned to me unopened. Aro explained that he hadn't been home for weeks. I nodded solemnly. It was better this way. He needed to get as far away from me as possible. It was selfish of me to ever want him, to ever want to keep him.

The trial began on the second of September. There was a media circus surrounding the courthouse. I was vaguely aware of people shouting my name, and my lawyers ushering me through the crowd, but my mind was still wrapped around the confused man left to pick up the pieces. Shattered truth and trust was all I left the man whom I loved for almost a year. I never got to tell him that he was the only one who knew the real me. He was the only one who didn't get the facade. I pictured him sitting, confused, in the deafening silence of our townhouse.

I hardly remembered any of the witnesses brought forth against me. Months of surveillance were paraded by the prosecutor, and time and again, my lawyers ripped it apart like the well paid lions they were. I was a picture of cool arrogance in my well tailored Armani suit with my lawyers flanking me. It was all a facade of clean lines masking the crumbling man.

As we got back in the car after the third day, my lawyers were all abuzz about the prosecutor's golden witness. An undercover FBI agent. They asked me once again if I had any idea who it could be. I couldn't imagine any of my guys turning rat. I personally picked them all. No way any of them were feds. I was as stumped as my lawyers.

The next day the court was called to order, and the judge turned back to the prosecution.

"The State calls Agent William Anderson."

I heard the click of a door leading to a special holding room off to the side of the courtroom; we all turned to watch a man stride in, donning his own smart suit, shoulders back as he strode to the stand. He was sworn in, and he took his seat finally meeting my eyes. I didn't know Agent William Anderson, but I knew that the man standing before me prefered to brush his teeth after he showered in the morning. I knew this man took two sugars in his coffee. I knew what this man looked like when his body was sweaty with pleasure under my own. Apparently I was not the only one living a lie.

I should have been feeling anger listening to Riley spell out our year together, instead I felt the life drain from my blood. The FBI had found out the secret that the mob had not, and sent Riley, or I should say William, in to try to befriend me. I listened as he was able to work out, with other pieces of mob surveillance, what my "pillow talk" at home equated to as far as jobs went. Riley had figured out that my "balancing the books" was when we collected on what was due to us. That "trouble with a co-worker" equaled a body found in the harbor. He was able to tell the FBI where I would be and when major transactions went down. His mask was on now, I saw. He was cool and stoic on the stand. In his navy blue suit, crisp white shirt and red tie, he was a picture of confidence. If he wasn't completely betraying me and breaking my heart, I would have described him as glorious.

The court recessed for lunch when the prosecution rested. My lawyers would have their turn after the break. I didn't eat a thing at lunch. I just stared out the window. I was called out of my reverie by my head lawyer, Aro, discussing how to tear down Agent Anderson's claims.

"Edward, what can you give us on this guy? His testimony about his 'code breaking' is easily torn apart. We'll also compromise his reliance in the fact that he tried to get Edward to take a 'vacation' right about the time of his bust. That he did in fact fall in love with Edward and tried to sabotage his own year long assignment. That his testimony is clouded by emotion."

"No," I managed to mutter.

"No?" Aro snapped at me. "What do you mean 'no', Edward? You'll be a free man by tomorrow."

"Free to do what, Aro? I have nothing to go home to! My home just betrayed me. The mob is never going to let the fag in, no matter how much money I make for them. I'm as good as dead now. I'd rather spend what days I have left in a cell than out in the world pretending I am happy. That I belong."

"Edward, you are being emotional. Let us do our job."

"No. I'm done. You are going to meet with the prosecution and agree to something where I will accept all responsibility for the things I was accused of that don't implicate anyone else. I might not be accepted in my life anymore, but I am not a fucking rat."

"Edward, think reasonably..."

I slammed my hand on the table and the lawyers jumped. I was now the commanding presence of the boss that I was.

"We are done here. You'll get your money. Mike will see to that. You are my lawyers, now do as I fucking say!"

Aro and the prosecutor met with the judge behind closed doors when we returned to the courthouse. I sat quietly on the couch on the side of the room leaning forward, my elbows on my knees, and my hands clasped together. My head remained bent forward as I listened to them argue the details. The lawyers shook hands, and the prosecutor left, I was sure to announce to the press this 'victory over crime'. A bailiff walked in to handcuff me and lead me out.

We began the slow walk down the corridor of the courthouse. I squared my shoulders and held my head high. Just as I was walking past the courtroom, the door flung open and the man I knew as Riley flew out of the room looking almost frantic. He scanned the hallway until his eyes found mine. I let my cold, dead eyes meet his. There staring back at me was a look of apology. A look that spoke to how much he did love me.

"Edward," he softly whispered as he looked panicked into my eyes looking for confirmation of what he must have just heard.

My cold expression told him I had given myself up as a patsy. All we had was gone and I stared through and then past him as the bailiff ushered me out into the media maelstrom.

"In striking testimony today, it was discovered that mob boss Tony Cullen is gay."

"Turns out that the ace in the prosecution's pocket was Tony Cullen's gay lover."

"The trial ends with a shocking turn as Tony Cullen takes full credit and responsibility for all he was accused of today."

"Tony Cullen is off to start his sentence of 20 years to life."

"Mr. Cullen...Mr. Cullen!" A young girl with a power suit and a microphone chased after me. "Why did you plea out to take all of the blame? Why not wait for the trial to finish and see what the jury says?"

"As you can hear all around you, miss, a lot of people are talking about what I am. But when you have nothing left to live for, a life sentence is really nothing. Besides, the one thing I am not is a fucking rat."

A/N: Thanks to mycrookedsmile and JPBarnaby for being my eyes.