A/N: I was just bouncing ideas off of one another about what I wanted to write about one night. I wrote the first couple of paragraphs and they mapped out everything else. This is what I came up with. I hope you appreciate my efforts.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
"A mental stain can neither be blotted out by the passage of time nor washed away by any waters." - Cicero
She shouldn't be feeling this way. It was forbidden, if anything dangerous. Not only was she risking her self being but those around her. She didn't want to care, but she did. That would be her weakness in the end.
She was living in a body she couldn't control. It had a mind of it's own and mocked it her in her triumph. Why did the only guy she was ever so desperately attracted to had to be someone she was supposed to hate? Someone she couldn't hate? Even as much as she tried. After all he had almost killed her.
He watched her, his eyes dancing in their sockets. He knew. He could see it in her eyes. The thing that made it worse was that he felt the same, and was out to destroy the both of them. He would be putting their lives on the line, but he wanted this, needed this. And he would have it.
There was no stopping him, only her half-hearted threats. She didn't mean them but knew she should have. This was wrong, inexcusable. A cat playing with a mouse. Only he wanted more than just the kill.
"Jasper," Alice had called, he turned reluctantly. Bella relaxed into Edwards shoulder, and looked up to see that he had been oblivious to everything that had just happened. The way he looked at her, his posture almost savage. She sighed, troubled. She hated feeling this way, lost. She couldn't tell anyone, even if she wanted to.
Ever since her birthday party, when her finger had slipped on the wrapping paper, and oozed blood, things hadn't been the same. When he leaped at her, she almost wanted him to land on her. Sink his teeth into her bowed neck, and feel the thrill knowing no one could do anything about it. Not even Edward, as he would watch, frozen in time.
To feel her life slip away as he drank, the thoughts were infectious. They kept eating at her, she shouldn't want them to happen. Shouldn't let herself even imagine them happening. But she couldn't stop herself, her fantasies dark.
She nuzzled her face into Edwards neck and he reached down to stroke her hair softly. "What are you thinking?" His voice made her feel as if she was falling. Her stomach turned, she was guilty. Why couldn't she just tell him? Why did she even have the nerve to let herself in his arms? She didn't deserve him, didn't deserve to know he would do anything for her. That she was his star in the sky, to know that he loved her.
"I want to go home," she admitted, her eyes wet against his marble skin. He was alarmed as he felt the change of her emotions, her hands tightening around his neck. "I don't feel very well," she didn't mean to lie, even if it didn't seem like much of a lie to her. She didn't feel well, her mind feeling as if it had taken a bruising just by stepping into the Cullen household.
But she felt as if she had hurt him when she had said this, for when she looked up he looked like he was in physical pain. His cool hand went to her forehead, and his other held her warm cheek in his hand. "Oh, Bella. Why didn't you tell me sooner? I would have taken you home" His eyes were liquid butterscotch, melting as if he had tears in his eyes. Though, she would never know, he couldn't cry. But she could imagine what he was feeling. Only she felt worse.
He listened as Edward gathered her up his arms, too tired to argue Bella allowed him to get away with it, as he continued to scold her. "Isabella Marie Swan, when you get home you're going straight to bed. I don't want to hear it," he told her sternly, still sounding as concerned as he did when she first admitted how she felt.
"Edward, it's not like the-," she sighed, all of sudden feeling sleepy. He opened the door to his Volvo, and gently placed her in the front seat. He made sure that her seat belt was secure, and watched as her eyes started to droop. She was adorable, a small pout on her lips. He kissed her forehead, his lips lingering, unaware to the eyes watching him from above. He was too absorbed in his angel.
Jasper made sure not to think of anything remotely detectable, simply thinking of war, it was all Edward had heard before any of this started. Nothing went bump in the night in his mind. He was wrapped up in the beauty of the one he loved, nothing and no one mattered more than her. Only if he knew I felt the same.
His thoughts revolved around her. Her presence, her scent, her warmth. It made his mouth water just to think of her, imagine her soft skin that would tear..oh so easily. The night of her birthday had changed everything, changed the way he thought and even the man he was. He hadn't felt this way before the incident but it was all clear now. His eyes had been opened, revealed to the possibilities, a whole new life.
Being a vampire wasn't all it was cracked up to be, you lived to be forever, but what happens when forever starts to become painful? Intolerable, simply unbearable? I guess you can see why all are portrayed as brooding but, humans couldn't even handle there simple reality. Try to imagine never being able to die. What happens when life leaves you lifeless? When even the same routine almost kills?
He couldn't even face Alice anymore, always feeling hollow inside. Even if he could feel the emotions around him, he himself didn't feel any. To know everyone else did feel, and could feel, even in this life, made him feel like something was wrong with him. Like he didn't belong. In fact, being he didn't.
He still thirsted for human blood as much as he did years and years ago, but he could still control himself. Or he did up until the thirteenth of September. He had thought he could prove it them, to himself but he didn't. He almost relapsed. Almost broke everything he had worked so hard for, but he couldn't find himself to give a care in the world. All he cared about what that Bella made him feel alive.
But he couldn't have her, claim her, call her his. She wasn't. She was Edwards. They were mates, as he and Alice were, but he could tell she was curious. He had felt her emotions when they had all been sitting, the day after, in the living room. Carlisle wanted a family meeting, and Edward was restrained by Emmett for the most of it. He could hear Jasper's untamed thoughts, but Jasper didn't care enough to conceal them, much less control them.
He couldn't, it was all he could think about. He had sat there, his body nearly halfway of the sofa cushion, his eyes glazed over as he stared at her. She had squirmed in her seat, her hand tightly laced, as Edward held it in his lap. His marble fingers were cold stone, numbing the tension in her arm. She tried to look forward and focus on what Carlisle was saying but she could see him out the corner of her eye. Watching.
"Edward, it wasn't anyone fault that it happened. Jasper lost his control but do you see him attacking her at this moment?" She had never seen Edward look as murderous as he did, glaring at his father. He didn't argue, instead stayed deathly silent. He was listening. He saw blood, and more blood. The carpet soaked, a trail dripping down porcelain...crimson on teeth.
He had stood so fast, Bella almost didn't notice her arm was back at her side. His eyes were a piercing black and in this moment he looked like a real predator, the hunter. "Stop! I can't take it anymore," he yelled in agony, as he dropped to his knees in front of her. He buried his face in her lap, his hand holding the sides of her thighs. He dry sobbed and Bella couldn't believe what she was seeing.
Never had he been in this much pain, never as much let her know he was capable of feeling this hurt. And it was all for her. He would die a thousand deaths before he would ever wish for anything that he had just witnessed happen to her. It broke her heart in two and she found herself pulling him up only to cradle his face on her chest. She looked to Jasper and found him grinning.
His expression was torture. Even in beauty, he face had never looked so evil. His lips, soft pink, were stretched out over his incisors of teeth that could kill. His cheeks, translucent; almost see through, were lifted with his grin. His eyes were a pool of darkness, hypnotising her to look no where else. She could only look at him, only see him.
"Jasper, stop it. Don't do this," they both heard Alice distantly plead. She sounded as if she was choking on her own words, they wouldn't come out of her mouth. He didn't listen, only stuck out his tongue and licked his lips as if he could taste her blood. The blood that coursed through her veins in this very moment, the blood he could see pulse against her skin, the metallic fire he wanted a taste of.
One bite couldn't hurt.
He watched as the silver car drove out of sight, the rain just starting to pour. Small droplets ran down the glass window, some slow some fast, his eyes never leaving them. Ever so focused, he almost didn't notice another presence in the room. But he did. He looked down, acting as if he was skimming one of his books, slowly with two fingers in interest.
He knew this wouldn't entirely work but it was better than looking even more suspicious. Alice was tentative about coming inside the room, even though it wasn't as she couldn't. It was his study, yes, but she was his mate. Or so she had felt right about calling herself that before that night. Nothing felt the same. He didn't feel the same. It had hurt her more than words could describe.
Even if he hadn't come out right and told her, she could sense it. She could see their pitiful future, filled with nothing but holes of what they once were. Their future was broken, missing fragments. Pieces of the puzzle lost, once a picture now a flammable mess. She didn't know who he was anymore. She had seen him in the hungriest of days, saw in her mind what he capable of doing, but never had she thought he would hurt them this way.
He wanted to kill her. Tear her apart with his bare hands, bury his face in her flesh like a lion. A merciless lion eating the defenseless lamb. But that wasn't all of what he wanted. It wasn't just the thirst, it was lust.
He wanted to claim in the most obscene ways, his sick demented mind was just dreaming of it. The way he would possess her, mark her in the way one should. She would scream as he bruised her body, break into her opening. He wouldn't stop, not even at how loud she screamed. He would keep going, in and out, losing himself in the sin of the act. Nothing would stop him.
Bella had fallen asleep in the car on the way home, Edward took it upon himself to call Charlie. He didn't do it to look good or to even impress, he wanted to be the only one who carried her in his arms, and tuck her safely in bed.
As he drove on, he listened to her soft breathing, and her heart thump against her chest. The sound of it calming him, distracting him from his troublesome thoughts. She was in danger, they all were. It wasn't because he was a mind reader that he knew this, he knew Jasper. He knew what he could do, what he was willing to and what he wanted to do. Bella, his angel, was now only safe with him.
She wouldn't be out of his sight until he was sure the dark period was over. She was the only thing that mattered to him and nothing would harm her if he had a say in it. She was his, only his for the taking. He wasn't himself when she wasn't around. Half of him was empty and missing. The rest of him would be with her. He always left his heart with her, she had the power to do anything.
He reached for her small hand, holding it in his own. It small, fragile, as it lay. The warmth burned his palm in a way that made his stomach feel dizzy. They're hands fit perfectly together, his bigger than hers, and he smiled at the small observation. He played with her hand quietly, watching the road with only one eye. Not that he even needed that to knew where he was going. The directions to her house where implanted into his brain, he didn't have to think.
It wasn't long before he drove up her street, only to see the lights in the front on. He could see Charlie, even from where he was, peeking through the curtain. It was quite comical as he swung back as if he was afraid to be caught. Edward chuckled, and couldn't help but to thank the awkward man. Without him, Bella wouldn't exist. He parked, the hum of the Volvo, calming.
He could hear Charlie, pace back and forth, in the front hallway. He was waiting to open the door for them, thinking to himself. His thoughts, unlike anyone else's he had heard, were mainly revolved around the same things. But when there was a change in his mind, something out of routine, he was very anxious.
Edward stepped around the front of the Volvo, opening the door, and stroked her face before unbuckling her out. He reached for her, putting an arm under her knees and the other behind her back. Bella started to murmur incoherent things, she was somewhat awake from what he could. And she knew she was moving, for her arms reached up and hooked around his neck.
Her face brushed against his neck, and he didn't even care that he kicked the car door shut. Rosalie would have a field day. He didn't rush the walk to the porch steps, instead took his time with handling her just right. Only she wasn't letting him. She was distracting him, without even knowing it.
"Edward," she breathed, her fingers wove through the nape of his hair. He carried her effortlessly, but stumbled at the entry way as he felt her heart beat against his chest. The life of her coursed through the both of them, only she could make him feel this way. He was sure even if he did need to breath, he wouldn't have. If he could sweat, beads would have rolled down his face.
Her fire was melting him. He was ice, thawing helplessly in love. "We're almost inside, love." The top of her head touched the edge of his jaw, her silky hair tickling his chin.
Without knocking on the door, Charlie poked his head through before opening it fully. Bella could sense she was moving, and that someone was carrying her. She could hear hush voices and feel her body move with each stair. Edward held her and whispered for her to sleep as he carried her to her small bedroom.
She pressed a hand to her forehead, groaning at the pain in her head, she didn't want to open her eyes. She hadn't been getting much of any sleep, and she had no one to blame but the em-path that had almost taken her life.
It seemed he was everywhere she turned. In her dreams, her sleep. She saw him every time she closed her eyes. Edward couldn't even lull the disturbance away at night, all she did was toss and turn. His arms couldn't still her, his kisses didn't silence her cries. His words she couldn't hear, for the sound of broken glass echoed in her ears. There was nothing that could be done.
She still stood at the doorway, not knowing what to do with herself. She stared at the back of his head, simply watching it move slightly as he read each line of text. Alice was in a a state of denial. There had to be something she could do. Before it was too late. But she knew it would probably be the hardest thing she'd ever do. Going against him would only drive him further. She knew this but couldn't seem to keep her mouth shut.
"Jasper," she started out slowly, her voice thick from sobbing. All he gave her was a sound of acknowledgement, although she knew he was listening more than he gave out. "I just had a vision." All he saw was red, the most delectable wine, a banquet for the sinners. He was one of them, he wouldn't resist. The temptation was far too much for persuasion. He didn't need to ask. He knew exactly what she had seen, now she was the only one stopping him from what he wanted.
He acted like what she had said didn't affect him, it was quite the contrary. His hands had clutched at the dusty book, his eyes changing from a dulling topaz to black. No one was going to stand in his way. Surely not her. She didn't have to heart to hurt him, nonetheless confront him. But here she was making things more difficult than they had to be. Who ever said life was easy?
"Oh, and what was it of?" he asked, his voice struggling to keep calm. She was testing his patience. If she was going to tell him she knew of his plans, why did she have to beat around the bush? It was all going to end the same either way. But she had hope, her mistake. It would do no good, he was far gone.
Before she could get a word out, he was across the room, his hand at her throat. He lifted her up off the ground, the grip on her throat never loosening. She was in shock, her body quivering against the wall. If he pushed her any harder, the plaster would break and collapse. Her hands clawed at his wrist, but it was no use. He wouldn't stop now.
She didn't need to breathe, and that was the only thing keeping her alive at this moment. Not that he planned for her to still live after this. "You can't stop me, Alice. You were nothing," his voice was a rough whisper. "You never meant anything to me, you only held me back. Well now it's my turn to decide what's right and what's wrong." Her eyes were brimmed with venom, if she could cry, she would have.
She could feel it, death crawling up on her, the realization she never thought would exist. Never would she have thought she would die, never at the hands of the only man she had thought she loved. But even now, she loved him. It didn't matter if this was how she went, as long as it was him that would be the one to end it all.
His narrow nose skimmed along her jaw, before moving down to her small neck. He could feel her voice struggle against his steadied palm. "I love y-," he bit through her larynx, silencing her. He let go of her, dropping her to her knees. He quickly placed his hands around the top part of her head and twisted. Her head fell to floor, only to be kicked to the corner.
His eyes were stones; hard and cold.
Edward slowly took off her coat and shoes, glancing up to see if her eyes were open. They were barely, but enough to let him know she was in between consciousness and sleep. She was being stubborn, pushing her palms against her soft bed, she tried to sit up. The lights were off and see could only see an outline of his face, as he looked to the door.
Charlie wasn't coming up, not yet, and Edward took his chance to crawl up from the end of the bed, only to gently push her down. Her back touched the blanket and she started to blink. "Bella, sweetheart. You need to sleep, look at your eyes. They're bloodshot." Her eyes were stinging, in fact, tearing up just by keeping them open. She shook her head.
"I can see them," he whispered, his sweet breath fanning her face. She started to feel dizzy and hot. The heat made her tug at her light cardigan, but her arms felt like jelly. They wouldn't move without making her more tired. He reached down and pulled the piece of clothing over her head, leaving her in only a small spaghetti strap. He wished to look away but her hands slowly reached up and held his face.
He closed his eyes and sighed. She reached up for a kiss, but because she couldn't see, she mistakenly started to kiss his jaw. He hovered over her, trying to make as little noise as possible, but couldn't contain himself. He titled her head, reaching her for the arch of her neck, and placed soft butterfly kisses there. He pulled away, only enough so that his breath tickled her skin as he spoke. "Is this the only way I can get you to sleep?"
She nodded, her eyelids losing the battle, and reached for the pillow. He chuckled, the sound vibrating in his chest. She sighed as her head hit the pillow, and she felt the bed rise as he rose. Before turning to the door, he lifted her legs and placed them under the covers. He then leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Bella?"
"Mmm," she hummed, letting herself fall into a comforting cloud of black. "I'm going to hunt, I'll be back tonight." He closed the door softly, making as little noise, although it didn't matter. She was already asleep, it would take more than a feeble squeak to wake her.
He chucked her headless body over his shoulder and headed downstairs. No one was home, they were out hunting and Jasper smiled at how convenient everything had turned out to be. His right hand held her head up by the roots of her hair, even in death the expression on her face was distressed. He didn't feel guilty, far from it, as he casually looked for gasoline. He needed to burn her before her body found a way to reattach itself.
She was still for the moment and he knew he would need to hurry. Edward was going out with the hunting party, by the mountains so it was safe for him to burn Alice, before heading over to Bella's house. It was nearing seven o'clock and the sun was now just starting to set, the dark seemed to make every movement he made the more eerie.
He threw her body a few feet away into the forest that surrounded the house. He poured the gasoline generously over her and didn't hesitate as he tossed the lighter over his shoulder. He glanced behind him, once, and watched his dirty work burn. The angry flames reflected in his eyes, and he felt a surge of adrenaline. The opportunity was finally here. He wouldn't have to wait any longer. It was time.
He ran, faster than he ever had, the wind violently hitting his ear drums. He couldn't find himself feeling bothered by it, for all it did was make him feel the more anxious. He knew the trail to her house well, he could smell her scent. It was that potent and apparent. The thought alone of feeling it on his tongue made his throat burn, he had to swallow back the venom that had pooled in his mouth.
His teeth ached to bite something, tear something. He needed blood, he needed her now. He wondered what the feel of her of her in his restraining arms, how she would respond to his demanding kisses. How he would feel stealth inside of her. He would take something she could only give once, possess her in ways only one should. She would be his, forever.
A/N: Might be a two-shot, I don't know. I'm going to leave the rest to your imagination. Please leave a review.