It was a slow day at the CBI. The team didn't have a case so Jane had decided to amuse himself by annoying the team members. Lisbon had hidden away in her office so Jane turned to his next victim, Van Pelt.

She was clicking away on her computer when he started on her, "So Grace, how is the 'secret' relationship with Rigsby going?" He asked from the sofa.

Van Pelt rolled her eyes, "Shut up Jane." She retorted in annoyance.

He smiled a little, knowing he was getting to her, "Not so well then." He said and she grimaced a little at him, "Its really none of your business."

Jane grinned, "Ah, but you see it is because I'm on the same team as you and your 'secret' lover, I'm really a witness to the act -"

He was cut off by his phone ringing, he was confused to see that he had a text message from Lisbon, she was in her office, could she not be bothered to come into the bullpen to talk to him?

Curiosity getting the better of him he forgot about niggling Van Pelt and opened the text which simply said;

'Dear Jane.

Leave Van Pelt alone or I will shoot you, I have 9 guns hidden in this place you know.


Jane chuckled at first, but then a frown set into his features; he had been speaking softly to Van Pelt and was well out of hearing range of her office. The door was shut and so were all the windows and blinds, she couldn't have heard him or even seen him annoying Van Pelt.

A glance to Van Pelt told him something was up, she was smirking a little as she looked at her computer screen.

"It appears that Lisbon is psychic." He commented lightly.

Van Pelt rolled her eyes, "Oh that could be it." She began, pausing for tension, "Or." She paused again and Jane rolled his eyes at her this time.

"Spit it out woman." He muttered impatiently.

Van Pelt smiled cheekily at him, "Or I could have told her that you were annoying me on facebook."

Van Pelts words made Jane grin broadly, "Lisbon has facebook?" He asked and at Van Pelts cautious nod, Jane rushed over to the computer at his desk, the computer he never used.

Van Pelt watched in shock as he powered the pc up, "What are you doing Jane?" She asked, seeming both amused and confused.

Jane grinned at her, "Going on facebook." He said and Van Pelt realised with a jolt what she had inadvertently done.

"That's a bad idea." She said, but Jane just shrugged as he put in his password and waited for the internet home page to load.

"Not that it matters." Van Pelt said airily, "She won't accept your friend request."

Jane just chuckled, "Van Pelt, you're forgetting that Lisbon is madly in love with me, of course she will accept my friend request."

Van Pelt scoffed, "Whatever you say Jane." She commented, brushing him off.

She didn't say anything after that and with a grin Jane logged onto his rarely used facebook, he had gotten it a few months ago because Rigsby said it was pretty cool, but then he hadn't used it. His only friend on the site was Rigsby, rather sad really. He realised he had a few friend requests, some were people he didn't know, but he accepted Sophie Miller and Cho then with a grin typed 'Teresa Lisbon' into the search bar. At once her page popped up on the screen and although he already knew everything about her, well so he thought, he read the 'Info' section of the page.

It was all pretty simple stuff, 'Sex - Female' yup he had figured that one out. 'Relationship Status - Single' He knew that too. 'Interested In - Men' Another thing he had figured out for himself. The next part was a bit more interesting though, it read 'Looking For - Friendship, Dating.' He hadn't known that Lisbon actually wanted a boyfriend, interesting indeed. Her hometown was set as Sacramento, which he already knew.

The 'Bio' part of the page was what he had been eager to read, but Lisbon being Lisbon she kept it relatively simple.

'My name is Teresa Lisbon, I'm a Special Agent for the CBI in Sacramento where I grew up and live. I have 3 brothers who all live in California as well. My job is hard work, but it makes a difference in the world and that's important.'

So Lisbon, short and simple, yet meaningful. He browsed through her interests and chuckled when he saw 'Castle' and 'Firefly' in the TV section, he knew she had a thing for Nathan Fillion.

He grinned as a pop-up in the corner of the screen told him that she had accepted his friend requested so he refreshed the page and clicked onto her wall. Her last post was about 10 minutes ago and read.

'I have locked myself up in my office so that Patrick Jane can find someone who isn't me to annoy.'

In the comments section Van Pelt had written, 'Thanks a lot for that, he's now annoying me.'

Underneath Van Pelts comment Lisbon had replied, 'Sorry Van Pelt, I'll sort him out for you.'

Jane grinned and typed into the comment box, 'Excuses Lisbon, you didn't lock yourself in your office so I wouldn't annoy you, you locked yourself in your office because you can't be around me for too long without feeling the need to express your undying love for me.'

With a smirk he hit send and Lisbon replied a few minutes later with, 'In your dreams Jane, If I'm so 'in love' with you why is throwing a stapler at your head a daily occurrence?'

He chuckled at her response, ah dear Lisbon, she was unique that was for sure, he was about to reply when a friend request from Van Pelt popped up, he accepted and then continued to write back to Lisbon, 'You can deny it Lisbon, but we both know the truth.'

Lisbon didn't comment after that so Jane set about finding himself some friends, once he had added all 3 of Lisbons brothers, Kristina Frye and a couple of people he had met through CBI cases Jane continued to browse through Lisbons wall.

Most of her posts were about her day and a lot of them were insulting towards him. She and Van Pelt talked a lot on facebook too, arranging yoga lessons and lunch meetings. Cho occasionally talked to her and Rigsby had left a few comments on her wall. Next he raided her photo albums, she only had two, they were entitled 'work' and 'family'

The 'family' folder contained about 40 photos of different occasions, the photos started when Lisbon looked in her early 20's and were up until recent times. There were Christmases, thanksgivings, birthdays, everything in there.

Next he curiously looked in the 'work' folder, he smiled as he looked at some of the photos he had forgotten were taken. There were a lot of her birthday, he remembered Van Pelt having a camera, there were group pictures and individual pictures, the last two photos were his favourite though, one of the pony he had given her and one of them both smiling brightly at the camera. He chuckled a little as he set the photo as his profile picture, Lisbon would have something to say about that no doubt.

The other photos in the 'work' folder were of random events, movie nights at the CBI, they had abused the use of the TV that was meant to be used for viewing surveillance footage and watched cheesy romantic films instead. There were photos of team nights both at the CBI and in bars near it, there were even a few photos that had just been taken around the office. One was of him sleeping on the sofa, his mouth hanging open a little and Rigsby standing over him with his thumbs up.

He scrolled down to the comments and found Rigsby making fun of him, 'Hah, the famous Patrick Jane finally pictured looking stupid, he's human just like the rest of us!'

Jane rolled his eyes and read Lisbons comment underneath Rigsbys, 'That's a bit harsh Rigsby, besides he looks kinda cute.'

Jane grinned at the words, he read them again to be sure he had seen them right and then he looked at Rigsbys response, 'Don't EVER let Jane know you said that Boss!'

Underneath Van Pelt had put her opinion into the mix, 'I think he might burst with smugness if he saw that comment, he would see it as a way to 'prove' that you are 'madly' in love with him.'

Lisbon had written in response, 'Yeah cause I'm clearly 'SO' in love with him, pfft.'

And the last comment on the photo was by Cho, who had written straight to the point in the same way he spoke, 'You and Jane do have a lot of sexual tension.'

He noted that underneath Cho's comment in blue writing was, 'Grace Van Pelt, Wayne Rigsby, Tommy Lisbon, David Lisbon and Sean Lisbon like this.'

Being Patrick Jane he couldn't resist commenting so with a smirk he began to formulate his own comment to add to the photo, 'Why Lisbon thank you for posting this photo of me looking so incredibly cute as you put it. I always knew you were lying when you said my charm didn't affect you, I guess we're just lucky Hightower doesn't have facebook or she would spot our sexual tension and fire us both.'

He knew he was being a wise ass when he added a smiley face and lots of kisses and he knew the moment Lisbon read the message because her voice called, "JANE!" In the way that meant he was to get to her office in under 5 seconds or have a gun held to his head.

Van Pelt appeared to understand what was going on as she watched Jane walk towards Lisbons office, she sniggered a little as he walked through the door which promptly slammed after him.

As soon as the office door slammed shut the elevator doors pinged open and Rigsby and Cho walked into the bullpen, they had just returned from lunch.

Rigsby frowned, "What did we miss?" He asked in confusion as he looked at the door which had just slammed shut.

"Jane added Lisbon on facebook." Van Pelt said, as her way of explanation, immediately Rigsbys eyes widened as he realised what had happened, "Ah, can't believe we missed it."

Van Pelt smirked, "Log onto facebook and you can read it all." She said with a laugh.


Inside Lisbons office one Senior Agent was not amused, to put it lightly.

"Do you have to be a pain in the ass ALL the time? Even on facebook?" Lisbon asked in exasperation from her computer as she typed on her wall, 'Once again I have the urge to hit my head off a wall, really hard and whose fault might it be? Patrick Jane's of course.'

She knew Van Pelt would be reading the comment with a snigger in the bullpen as she turned her attention to Jane who grinned smugly, "Yup." He said.

She rolled her eyes and he grinned at her, if possible, an even wider grin than before, "So now I finally see the truth Lisbon." He said in a very serious tone of voice.

She gave him a dirty look, "What are you talking about Jane?" She asked in exasperation.

He shrugged and replied, "That you are madly in love with me of course."

She glared at him for a moment and then something hard and metal collided with his head.

A few hours later… (Narrated through facebook posts)

Patrick Jane just spent 4 hours in the ER with Teresa Lisbon getting stitches. Ah don't you love having such a good work relationship with your boss that she throws staplers at you?

August 2nd, 6.04pm.

Teresa Lisbon, Grace Van Pelt and Wayne Rigsby like this.


Teresa Lisbon : You know you deserved it Jane and the next time you piss me off it will be a bullet instead of a stapler =] .

Patrick Jane : I wouldn't make such threats on facebook Lisbon, someone might think your serious ;) .

Teresa Lisbon : I AM serious, ugh, I'm not even going to entertain you by continuing this discussion.

Grace Van Pelt : I'm not taking sides or anything, but you did kinda deserve it Jane…well not the stitches part…

Wayne Rigsby : Yeah man, you were totally asking for it. Plus I don't think Lisbon MEANT to hit you that hard.

Teresa Lisbon : Oh trust me, Lisbon did, she really did.

Patrick Jane : Grace Van Pelt - Exactly! The stitches were too far.

Wayne Rigsby - Of course she meant it, she's Lisbon.

Teresa Lisbon - I don't doubt it m'dear.

The End!

Just a bit of fun tbh, hope you enjoyed it!

Thanks for reading! xx