This story is not related to Esme's Story in any way. See additional notes at the end.
I was running away. I hated that I needed to but I couldn't stay in that house, our home, a moment longer.
The cacophony of emotions, the disarray, I couldn't take it anymore. I loved my family more than anything, but my heart was being pulled in too many directions. I just needed to get out for a while.
Just looking at my newest daughter shredded my heart into a million pieces. Bella round with child is a miracle, but at the same time the acceleration of the pregnancy, the bloating and beating her body was taken was not natural. I was thrilled for the blessing of a child for my children, but fearful for Bella's safety. I also was jealous and hurt. I knew now that it wasn't being a vampire that was keeping Carlisle and I from having a child, it was me.
But if my own pain wasn't enough, every Cullen was facing their own trial right now.
Edward would have ended the pregnancy to keep Bella safe, but now was struggling with seeing her in pain and feeling guilty for her being in this position.
Alice has been suffering headaches and her vision is blurred, possibly by the wolves' nearness.
Jasper has been overwrought by everyone's heightened emotions and his worry for Alice's pain.
Carlisle has ranked his priorities and right now father and doctor are the priorities over husband. I knew Bella and Edward needed him and his centuries of experience, but I would be lying if I didn't admit I selfishly needed him.
When the reality of his phone conversation with Edward sunk in, I was overwhelmed with emotion, but my priority was protecting Bella. I could deal with my own pain and grief later.
Termination was not an option if that was not what she wanted. I was the only one in this family who knew what it was like to give birth and to be a mother. I would stand by her side for as long as she needed me. I would oppose Edward and even Carlisle to protect her decision. I would fight for her and her choice…but she didn't choose me to be her champion.
Rosalie was a hawk at the moment and I didn't like it. She was the one Bella reached out to for help, not me. I could only assume she went to Rose because of her tenacity and the fact that she knows how much Rosalie longed for a child and the way she fights to hold onto her human life. Bella didn't have to fear that Rose's allegiances to Edward or Carlisle would stop her from protecting her…but the fact was, for Rosalie it wasn't about protecting Bella, it was about what she was carrying inside her that mattered.
I felt like it was the world versus the symbiotic Bella and Rosalie now. While I would have tried to take care of everyone, Rosalie was fierce and unwavering. She wanted to keep that baby safe and Bella's health or feelings be damned. Bella saw it as Rosalie protecting her child, which was true, but the mother wasn't important to her. She was just a carrier and if God forbid Bella didn't survive this, Rosalie would be too busy swooping in as mother to mourn the loss of her "sister."
I growled and swatted at a defenseless tree as I ran by it, knocking it to the ground.
"Hey Esme! What did that tree do to you?"
I had almost forgotten that Emmett was running with me. I think he needed to get out of the house as much, if not more, than I did.
He was dead to his wife at the moment and I could see how it was hurting him. He wouldn't admit it out loud in the house, and he certainly wouldn't pick a fight with her with all the tension that was already present. That wasn't Emmett's style.
He had tried on several occasions to talk to her, remind her that this was not her baby, but Bella was her sister and she needed caring. She didn't want any part of it. She only had eyes for Bella's belly.
With another growl, I tackled an elk, pinning it to the ground, feasting on its blood. As I finished, I looked around for Emmett, who was draining his second. None of us had been hunting enough, which wasn't helping anyone's state of mind. Between the need to stay close to home in case we were needed and trying to avoid confrontations with the pack, it was difficult to get away. Even now, we had run a couple hundred miles over the Canadian border before stopping to eat.
I sat down on a boulder watching Emmett. As crazy as he drove me at times, he was so good. He was the best big brother anyone could ever ask for, but he was also a great joy to me. He could cheer me up with his laughter, his teasing smile and of course, his big bear hugs. He was deeper than the rest of the family often gave him credit for. He saw more than he let on, but he always tried to bring levity to heavy situations, not because he was foolish, but because he cared about us all so much.
He came over and sat down next to me, taking my hand in his giant palm.
"C'mon Esme, let's hear it. I know you're upset and right now neither of us are anywhere near the center of attention in our house. I'll listen to you, but you have to listen to me."
I nodded, swallowing hard, willing myself not to cry.
"I'm just so angry!" I growled again.
"Woah! Let it out! Which ones are pissing you off?"
"I'm mad at Bella for going to Rosalie and not to me, and I'm furious at Rosalie for being completely absorbed by the baby, forsaking Bella and you."
Emmett chuckle bitterly. "My wife is a piece of work sometimes."
"She is betraying all of us. She would strike any one of us down to save that baby. She will let Bella die."
I couldn't hold back the sob anymore as Emmett's arm wrapped around my shoulder, pulling me close to him.
"That's what's bothering you the most, isn't it? That Bella won't survive?" He quietly asked.
"It should be, but it isn't." I felt horrible.
"What is it then?"
"I need my husband back," I moaned.
"Oh? That's all you can say is Oh?"
"Well what do you want me to say, Esme?" Emmett said, his pitch rising slightly.
"For more than eighty years, I have loved him unconditionally. We have together dealt with the fact that the collective we can't have a child and now…now I know it was always just me. I'm the barren one and he, with even greater control than Edward, could have been a father. And I just want him to hold me and tell me that it's alright. It doesn't matter. That he loves me anyway. That he has no regrets."
Emmett was shaking his head. "It doesn't matter. I know that now too, but it doesn't matter and I tried to tell Rosalie that, but she is so focused on Bella that she is ignoring everything I say."
"I can't even get Carlisle to focus on this discussion. He is too busy talking down Edward and checking on Bella and pouring over books. Am I horribly selfish?"
"No, you're a woman who needs emotional support right now and you are not getting what you need."
"But neither are you." His situation was worse than mine.
"Well, I'm not a woman needing support, but I do need my wife right now and she is not interested at all…and I don't know if or when I'm going to get her back."
"Even when the baby arrives, there will still be so much to deal with and so many possible outcomes."
"I just want her to forget for a while. Just let me hold her."
"I just want him to make me forget for a while. Just hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay."
I hadn't realized Emmett's big arm had pulled me closer until his nose nuzzled my neck. My thigh was pressed so tightly against his that I was almost in his lap.
"Emmett?" I questioned, my breath caught in my throat.
"C'mon, Esme. It has been weeks for either of us." The hand that wasn't wrapped around me moved to my knee.
I was shocked. "No. I can't. It would be wrong."
"No more wrong than the hell our spouses are putting us through. We have both supported them through so much and now when we need them, they turn their backs on us."
His lips pressed to my neck and I instinctually pushed him away, but he wasn't ready to give up.
"You're my son!"
"Not really. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love you and see you as the female leader of this household, and at times see you in a motherly role, but you are still a stunningly beautiful, sexy, young woman and more friend than mom."
I was silent.
"I know you feel like you are a mother to us all and we do love you that way, but you are also our friend and at times, our sister, but at the end of the day, I'm just a man and you're just a woman and we both have needs and desires. Right now, I desire you."
I could feel my resolved breaking. My body was betraying me, longing for the attention it hadn't received, as Emmett had pointed out, in weeks, but in actuality it had received little attention since Bella came into our lives.
"They'll know." My voice was shaking.
"Alice held back Jasper from going with us and sent us off on our own. She must have known, but didn't see any repercussions."
"So are you saying this was fated before we left the house?"
"Must have been."
"Then Edward knows and if he doesn't he will."
"Edward is so focused on Bella, the baby, Rosalie and the pack that he is letting Alice handle herself and with her headaches, he is avoiding her head. And if we get back and a thought of you goes through my mind, he'll just think it is one of my fantasies. He's seen enough of my daydreams over the years that he'll just blow it off as such."
"What about my head?"
"It is a one-time thing, Esme. I'm not suggesting we start some long time affair. I don't want that and I know you don't want that. We both love our spouses, but they are blatantly ignoring our needs. Right now we are a man and a woman who need sex and better with each other than going off and doing something we really regret."
"I would never!"
"I know you wouldn't. You're too good. But I might and do something I regret."
"Don't guilt me into this."
"I don't need to guilt you. I can tell your mind and your body are already there."
"It's just one time of fulfilling our needs."
He gently took my cheeks in between his fingertips, looking deeply into my eyes and said, "C'mon Mama Bear, let me give you what you need."
With a groan, my lips pressed against his, our tongues soon dancing, fighting for entrance into each others' mouths.
He lifted me up onto his lap, my legs straddling his thighs as his hands moved to my back, pulling me closer against him. His mouth separated from mine and began pressing light kisses all over my face.
"Esme, honey, it's not that I'm a hurry, but as a matter of practicality, I think we need to get your pants off."
"Huh?" I half heartedly asked as I rolled my head back to give him better access as his lips traveled down my neck.
He chuckled against my throat, "I can tell you are a bit aroused, baby, and while we can discard your wet panties, you need evident free pants so before you soak all the way through, let's take them off."
I should have been embarrassed, but my senses were so overloaded that I just nodded in agreement as he reached for the button of my jeans. He tugged at the zipper almost a little too hard.
"No ripping," I breathed out.
"Of course," he said with a smile as he effortlessly picked me up and put me on my feet and immediately began pulling down my waistband past my plain pale pink cotton underwear. I hadn't expected that anyone would be seeing me in my undergarments when I got dressed earlier. I wasn't going for alluring. I bit my lower lip at the simplicity of it as I watched him move down my legs, pulling my pant legs with him. When he reached my feet, he took my shoes and had me step out of my jeans, folding them neatly, placing them over to the side.
He turned back to me with a sly grin, "I like the pink. It's very you."
I cocked an eyebrow, and placed my hands on my hips in nothing but a button-down shirt, bra and panties, "Aren't you worried about the same issue? As I can tell from sitting on your lap, that you are also a bit aroused."
"Oh, you have no idea," he said with his laughing voice. "But since I helped you, you must help me. Fair is fair."
I covered the few feet separating us and stopped when my chest was practically flush against his. I reached down and surprised him by cupping his manhood through his pants. His eyes almost bulged out of his head.
"I think I have some idea now," I said against his shoulder, as close as I could get to his ear even on tippy toes.
I made short work of his pants and repeated his step of folding them neatly, turning away and bending over to place them next to mine. Before I could turn around, his hips were against my back and he was pulling me against him, his erection obviously straining against his boxers. His hands reached under my shirt, pressing against my stomach as he buried his face in my hair.
"You smell so good and not just your hair."
My mouth fell open in shock, but before I could respond, I found myself moaning as his fingers slipped beneath my waistband, but only teasingly as he moved quickly, turning me around. I could see the line of concentration on his face as he worked the buttons on my shirt, focusing on not just ripping it from my body. He threw it aside and lustfully looked me over, eyes resting on my bra.
"More pink. I love that it's pale pink. You don't need to be flashy with a bright color. You are so beautiful that you let your flesh speak for itself."
I didn't know how he was doing it, but every word he uttered felt sincere, but also dripping with sex and made me want him more.
I reached for his shirt and pulled it up as far as I could, before needing his assistance to get it over his head. I had seen Emmett shirtless many times before, but his chest was never mine to covet or admire. This afternoon, it was.
My lips were on him – pressing against his chest, dragging my tongue over his pecs, worshipping each nipple with my mouth. I could hear him moaning my name above me, his hands moving up and down my back as I moved my head lower, caressing his perfect abs with my tongue. As I dipped closer to his waistband and snuck a finger underneath it, he pulled me to my feet.
"Not yet, darling. It's my turn to play."
He tugged gently at my straps as his lips trailed from my shoulder to the top of my breast.
"Now, these" he kissed the flesh poking out of the top of the left cup, "are fun," he said moving to the right. "And I think they need to come out and play."
I was out of my mind. Carlisle could be a tease at times, but there was something in Emmett's tone, the way he looked at me, the playful way about him, that had me feeling just as silly.
"They're allowed out. You just need to open the door."
"Now that's what I want to hear, Mama Bear!"
He sling shot my bra across the forest before I could even comprehend that it was off and my breasts were putty in his huge hands. Hands of a surgeon they were not. Precision was not the key here. Size was as his giant paws covered my breast, kneading them, flicking his giant thumbs over my nipples. My head lulled back as I couldn't help but moan his name.
In an instant, my back was flat against the boulder we had been sitting on only moments ago. I gasped as his mouth replaced one of his hands, sucking at my breast. The free hand wasn't going to stay free for long as it was gliding down my side to my soaked panties.
He teased his fingers along my waistband again, my hips involuntarily pushing against his hand and this was nothing. God, I really did need sex and he knew it.
His hand slid down and caressed me through my panties, eliciting another groan from me.
"See, I do have good ideas every once in a while. Taking off your pants was completely necessary."
"I'm doing that, I think you want more than that." His lips were moving from the middle of my breast to my stomach, his tongue flicking over my belly button.
"What is it?" He asked with a chuckle, his lips moving along my waistband.
Vampire speed magic kicked into action again as I heard fabric rip, my legs were pushed apart and my back arched as against the stone. I heard myself scream as his tongue slid into my slit.
"Tastes like honey, Mama Bear."
"Stop calling me Mama!" I gasped as he added his fingers to the mix.
"Growl, alright then Goldilocks, I'm just going to eat you up."
He was way too amused by himself, but that was Emmett, and I didn't have time to dwell with the mind blowing combination of fingers, tongue and teeth dancing over my clit. My back arched as he inserted a finger, no, two fingers, and it wasn't long before my muscles were clamping around said fingers and I was screaming his name.
He looked up at me with a very satisfied grin on his face as he gently massaged me with his fingers as I came down from my high.
"Wow, Goldilocks. I wasn't quite expecting you to be so…loud."
"Hey, don't apologize to me. You know by now that I like it loud." He chuckled. "Now I know why he bought you an island. You might not scream at home, but I bet you make those palm trees shake."
He laughed, "I love seeing you riled up."
He laid one last kiss on my inner thigh before licking his fingers clean as he stood up.
"Are you going to stick your whole fist in your mouth?" I giggled, leaning on my elbows as I eye fucked him.
He laughed, "Oh honey, you don't want to know what I can do with my fist, and I'm not talking about punching Edward in the face."
"Maybe I do." I said darkly.
"No, Mama Bear, I wouldn't feel right. Even I have my limits." He said, for once serious.
I reached forward, pulling him to me by his waistband. "Alright Em, let's do something not off limits."
"Well, let's get these off." My turn for the disappearing underwear trick, as I ripped his boxers in two and wrapped my fist around his cock. "How about I use my fist instead?"
He growled for real this time as I begun stroking him, pulling him closer so he was standing between my legs as I rested my butt on that violated boulder. I kept him guessing and groaning as I varied my movements, squeezing his balls, rotating my fingers, light flickers, stronger grips – he didn't know what was coming and he liked it.
I could tell he was close, when his eyes shot open and he looked right down into mine.
"Esme, I need you now."
"You have me now," I teased.
"I need to be inside you now."
He didn't need to say it twice. My back was on the rock once more as he slammed into me, sheathing himself completely in one movement. I yelped and he paused looking down at me, brushing a hand across my cheek.
"Are you alright?"
"Are you sure?"
I had no patience. "Emmett, just fuck me."
"And there it is!" His tongue darted out over my bottom lip. "I knew there was a dirty mouth in there somewhere."
Before I could respond, he began moving within me, slowly.
He picked up the pace slightly, but I could feel his teasing smile against my shoulder, where his lips were currently residing.
I would tease back.
"Are you on a joyride or you going to take me on the rollercoaster?"
He chuckled, "Oh it's a looping one that will make you scream."
I squealed and he grunted as the slapping of skin against skin echoed off the trees. He was moving faster and harder now. It wasn't what I was used to, but it was what we both needed, a good, hard fuck.
I could feel my body tightening and could sense he was nearing his peak as well.
"Esme," he gasped, his lips moving over my throat, "I want you to scream my name so loud when you cum that animals scatter for miles around."
"And I want you to drown out that scream with your own!" I growled.
He looked down at me with that teasing smirk, slightly strained by everything else his body was feeling, "Yes, Mama Bear," and with that his fingers reached down and flicked my clit and I was done.
My body shook and clenched as I screamed "Emmett!" to the forest and the combination was enough to send him over the edge, drowning out my cry with his roaring, "Esme!" as he exploded inside me.
He collapsed on top of me, still connected, as I held him, brushing one hand over his back and another through his curls. After a moment, he wrapped his arms around me, one arm scooping up my legs, the other holding onto my back, keeping me against him and laid us on the ground on our sides. We were still joined and staring at each other.
His hand brushed my cheek as he spoke first.
"Thank you, so much for this, Esme. I've always been able to turn to Rose when I needed support. Even when I'm fighting with her, we kiss and make up, but this time it is so different. My physical needs are so intertwined with my emotional needs, and right now, she isn't fulfilling any of them."
"I needed to forget all the drama in our home and just laugh and be silly and have an intimate connection."
"Carlisle loves you so much."
"He's really a lucky man to have you in his corner."
"As Rose is lucky to have you."
"I know," he said with a dramatic sigh.
I snuggled up against him, as he rolled over onto his back, pulling me on top of him.
"I'll talk to Carlisle when we get back and remind him that although his duties as father and doctor are very important, his beautiful wife needs her husband."
"You don't have to do that."
He kissed my forehead, "Yes I do, Mama Bear. My wife may be beyond reason, but Carlisle never is. He's just being stupid right now."
"He's just being the leader that he always is."
"Yes, but he is also being stupid. He should be seeing to your needs as you always see to his."
"Do you want me to try talking to Rose?"
"Nah, it's pointless right now. All I can do is stand in the shadows and be there when the time come that she finally needs me again."
"I wish I could do something for you."
"You already have. You gave me exactly what I needed for now," he said, kissing my cheek. "There's a stream nearby. We should get cleaned up and start heading back."
He slid out of me as he helped me to my feet. "Yes, and we also need to find my bra." I said with a chuckle.
"I'll take underwear duty. I'll dispose of our destroyed ones and find the missing boulder holder."
"Thanks, Emmett," I said sarcasm dripping from my voice.
"What?" He said innocently. "I meant that as a compliment. You have some gorgeous breast, Esme. That is one lucky flying bra!"
"Just go find it!"
"Yes, Mama," he said with a salute as his bare ass disappeared into the trees, waving our shredded underwear in the air over his head like a victory flag.
I followed the sound of the water and plunged in, removing all traces of Emmett's scent from me. When I lifted my head out of the water, I found him standing on the bank, the brassiere dangling by the strap in between his fingers.
"Mission accomplished. It was in a tree, but I safely rescued it. As for the panties and boxers, they have disappeared under a tree and I also made that poor defenseless, evidence covered boulder disappear."
I would have blushed if I could have and I could tell Emmett knew it as his dimples appeared .
He jumped down into the water to clean himself off and a few minutes later we were dressed and looking at each other.
I made the move this time and wrapped my arms around his big frame.
"No regrets. Never again. Erased from our minds."
"Absolutely, Mama Bear."
"Emmett, you call me that and my mind is going to go places that I shouldn't," I warned.
"Right. No regrets. Never again. Erased from our minds."
"I love you."
"I love you too, Esme."
We ran back toward Forks, stopping along the way to hunt once more. I know I was feeling better. I was happier and more relaxed that I had been in quite a while. I felt that Emmett was in a similar mind set. We were both in a much better place and ready to face our stifling household again.
About 25 miles from home, I slowed and so did Emmett as we caught two familiar scents in the air. Suddenly Alice and Jasper were in front of us.
"What's wrong?" Was my immediate response, the hair on the back of my neck standing up.
"Calm down, Esme," Jasper said as a wave of exactly that came at me and I once again felt relaxed.
"Nothing's wrong. I just knew you two were heading back and we decided to get a head start on hunting," Alice said with a smile. "There's no status change at home. Everything will be just fine when you get there."
"Oh, alright then," I said and smiled. "Well you two enjoy your hunt then. We found a large herd about 60 miles north east."
"Thanks, Mama Bear," Alice said with a wink and a little too much enthusiasm even for her as she grabbed Jasper's hand and took off with a giggle, leaving me gaping.
"Silly Pixie," I grumbled as the calmness wave dissipated.
Emmett took my hand. "Ignore her teasing. More importantly, she said things will be fine at home."
"You're right. Let's go home."
"Absolutely, Mama Bear."
So what do you think? Please review. This is my first lemon and my first one-shot.
There's so many Bella and "insert name of Cullen man here." Esme rarely gets to "play." My readers know I adore her and Carlisle, but Esme and Emmett's natures just seem to make them a natural fit. Some of the feelings and emotions in this story about what is happening during Bella's pregnancy I'll be writing into Esme's Story. There will be no Emmett and Esme getting it on though. Thanks for reading my indulgence in a little fantasy.