Chapter 37: Missing Pieces
In the room he had been given Harry lay down his heart hurt so badly he had stupidly let the man into his heart, he had been willing to offer him anything he wanted and after a few minutes he sat up to stare in the mirror. 'How can I make him love me again? I just want him to love me,' he thought as he traced his own cheek, 'I am not who he thought and he does not love me anymore…I really am a freak I cannot even have happiness and love for longer than a day.'
A knock made him glance at the door, standing he opened the door and paused Tom stood there, before the man could speak he whispered, "Please give me at least a little time to get over you, I've never been in love before so I'm not certain how long it will take for me to remove you from my heart," and he closed the door dropping against it he felt the tears flow down his cheeks.
"Harry," Tom leaned his head against the door, "Please at least let me talk to you," and a few minutes later he fell onto Harry who had opened the door, blinking he scrambled away and saw Harry flinch some before moving away and sitting at his desk chair, "Why did you flinch?"
"No reason you need to concern yourself with," Harry whispered before asking, "What did you wish to talk about?"
"I…" sighing Tom moved and sat on the foot of the bed to gaze at the young man who he thought he had loved, "I wrote to you without truly knowing you I fell in love with who I thought you were…"
"And the real me is unlovable?" Harry asked and got glanced at by startled red eyes, "That's what you mean right? Me as I am is unlovable, you wanted me to be the slightly naïve, hard headed, leap before I look Gryffindor but you can't love me because that's not who I am."
"You're not unlovable, you're a brilliant, talented, gorgeous young man," Tom said before watching Harry look away, "Harry I just…"
"I'm not good enough for you I get it alright please stop saying nice things it hurts, I don't want to hurt anymore," Harry said the tears coming back to his eyes, "You said you would love me and protect me from the world and yet…you are the only one I need protection from, I can handle the rest of the world but not this, not you."
"Harry I…" Tom rubbed his face some as he tried to think, "Okay I…I can try explaining how I feel about you now do you think that will help?" he glanced up and got a shrug as Harry wiped at his cheeks fighting the need to cry more, "My chest hurts when your away from me, my breathing gets hard when your near me, I want to hold you close and yet also set you up on a stand so I can just stare at you forever," he brushed the tears away from the beautiful young man and saw he seemed startled, "I'm just scared I am so scared and it's not about anything you have done but just…I'm scared of me hurting you like I already have because I'm stupid."
"What?" Harry frowned and touched his cheek before saying, "You leaving me alone not explaining anything and playing hot and cold with me I what hurt me, just don't do those things. Pick one or the other we are either together or not," the man seemed unsure what to say, "You don't know if you want me anymore or not?"
"No I do want you and I do love you," Tom said quickly before pulling Harry into his arms and kissing his temple as he held him close, "I just need time to adjust to how magnificent you really are… last night we got a little ahead of ourselves and I think we just need to step back, we know we love each other but there are parts we don't yet know about each other."
Harry just stayed in the other's arms for a long time before sniffling slightly and asking, "So…we'll date?" getting a nod he relaxed a little more. Before hitting the man in the arm, "You prat! Don't just walk away from me when we have issues o this will never work, seriously I love you so much and you doing that hurts so much-" yet a small kiss made him stop ranting.
"I'm sorry, I have never cared about someone like I care about you and I know I shouldn't be surprised at how amazing you are I just…how have you managed to keep up the golden angel of innocence image while being so deliciously devious?" Tom wandered suddenly making Harry tilt his head confused at the change of topic, "Knowing how will allow me to know more about you."
"Oh…" Harry frowned some and looked down fidgeting with his hands some before glancing up and leaning up to kiss him softly, "I am not as crazy as I seem, I wanted your attention. Yes I have connections, yes I am mischievous and have a Slytherin side but I…when I suspected you were R I started acting more on how my brothers see me so as to see if that is what you wanted more. To prove I could be at your side and not as someone needing protection but as a partner."
"You are still more devious than others know," Tom whispered arms circling around the others waist, "I have seen it in your eyes," he was not letting go any time soon as he now knew he had the teenagers heart and intended to keep it, he would just have to watch his own actions and speak when confused not leave.
Smirking some Harry licked his lips and nodded, "A little bit yes, what did you expect from the son of a marauder and the brother of Hogwarts Twin terrors?" then he heard a knock and glanced to see Theo standing there watching them, "Hey what's up?'
"Bill is asking if it's time yet?" Theo asked and got a shake of the head, "You two working on him being a jackass?"
"he was confused and unsure how to act, I've not forgiven him completely for causing me to feel abandoned but we're working on that," Harry smiled at his friend and got nod before Theo darted in and gave Harry a kiss on the cheek before running off, "Huh he's never done that before eek, Tom tight," the man was holding him very tightly now.
"Wha-oh sorry," Tom loosened his grip some and got a smile, "Time for what?"
"Well Ron stole the memory locking spell from Bill," Harry smiled some, "I was waiting for you and me before taking revenge on them completely, so until we're steady they are an afterthought."
"How can they be an afterthought when they messed with your mind," Tom felt shocked by that and got a smile and a small kiss.
"Because when they fall it will be off an edge as they realize just how far from them I truly am," Harry said before turning in his arms and removing his hands, "Now how should we go about this dating thing?"