Purple eyes... Untouchable. No matter how hard she reaches for them. No matter how much she wishes for them. Strong solid arms, the ones currently wrapped around her are not the arms she wants... The brown hair she sees is all wrong it should be silver. The body holding her isn't right. It doesn't hold her right. It use to, but now longer. Now that she knows. Knows who she belongs to... She knows that she doesn't belong to him.


Crushed

Chapter One

Night One


Zero... I love you... I thought before sighing and opening my eyes for another day in hell. The bright yellow light shinning in threw the window, was completely different from my mood. Inside I was dark and gray. I was miserable. This place, even though I was born here and I finally had all my memories back, this wasn't my home and I didn't want to be here. I stared out the window in the perfect day outside... I couldn't see the birds in the trees but I could hear them, talking to each other. Letting each other know how much they cared about each other.

I should have told Zero how I felt instead of turning my back on him I should have gone with him. I felt horrible... I didn't love Kaname as I thought I had... I loved him as he was... my brother. I loved him like nothing else. Zero was the one I loved. The one I would always love. Forever until we both died. I sighed hearing a knock on my door. I knew it would be either Aidou or Kaname... and whether or not I said anything they would come in. I listened to the footsteps. They were hard, not soft, They weren't the ones I wanted to hear... The ones I wanted to hear were who knows where...

Probably hunting down vampires, or sulking in his room, or scaring the day class girls shitless. I grinned thinking of all those girls running away from Zero's death glare. The one he always hid when he was with me. "Why are you smiling?" Aidou asked sitting down on the bed next to me. I rolled over to look at him. I saw the dark circles under his eyes. Kaname must be giving him a hard time about me. I will have to remind Kaname to take it easy on his best friend. How Hanabusa can put up with his ass I don't know.

"Aidou..." I sighed. "I miss him." I felt the tears form in my eyes. Aidou was the only one I would admit to missing Zero to. I couldn't say it in front of Kanane he would just go nuts and hunt down my Zero. And I couldn't let that happen. I was so scared to what Kaname would do to Zero if he knew the truth. The truth about my feelings, my feelings for looked at me with concern in his eyes before holding his hands out to me. I quickly climbed into them. Knowing he would keep my secret safe. The tears ran down my face. They were like a sea, never stopping.

"Yuki, you can't hide this from him forever. He will find out. Besides you have to be getting hungry. And he will make you use your fangs." I shock my head. "No Hanabusa, I can't. Not when I don't thirst for his blood. I can't it's wrong. Idol." I said using the nickname the day class girls had given him. The one I knew he loved.

"Thank you. I couldn't have made it this far without you. Even if I put you in such a horrible position. You know if Kaname gives you a hard time. You can tell him. I can handle him." I said holding tightly to the blonde haird vampire.

"Of course I won't tell him. It's not my place. Even if he is my best friend. I won't betray your secret. It's yours." I sat up leaning away from the blue eyed vampire. Wiping the tears away with the palm of my hand. "Is he here?" I asked. "No he left last night. Telling me to make sure you study and be safe." I smiled, good Aidou. "Get out. I must take a shower and get ready... Although there will be no studying today. I have a trip I must take." I said climbing out the bed and pulling Aidou with me.

"Yuuki, You heard Kaname, no trips. Not yet." I pushed Aidou out the door. "Does this face look like it gives a shit what Kaname said. I'm going on a trip and he can take one and suck it. I'm going." I slammed the door in his face and locked it. Knowing full well if he wanted in. He could get in, and ran to my bathroom.

I was excited. I knew exactly where I wanted to go and no one, not even Kaname was going to stop me. He could, as I said before, take one and suck it. I turned the water on in the shower, waiting for the warmth before stripping and climbing in. I sighed scrubbing my long beautiful brown hair. It may be beautiful, but it was a pain in my ass. Long hair wasn't me. It was the Vampire in me. And I didn't want to be a vampire. I finally knew how Zero felt. Hating what you. Wanting nothing more than to go back to wait you use to be. To have the life you use to before a VAMPIRE stepped in and destroyed everything.

Yes you know the vampire that destroyed my life. Although it did save me from Rido, but it took me from my best friend. I stayed in the shower longer than normal. Making sure I was clean and I smelled good. I climbed out of my shower wrapping a fluffy white towel around my slim frame. Walking into my room. It was big, but it didn't have a homely feel. What it lacked was Zero's touch. At my house with the headmaster, and at the academy, Zero's touch was everywhere, and his smell. God I loved his smell. It was a mix of horse, straw, Cinnamon, and vampire. It was my favorite smell in the world.

I couldn't believe I walked away from him. I couldn't believe I walked away from my father, I couldn't believe I walked away. Period. I never should have. No matter how much I wanted to protect Zero. I could have protected him with him. It probably hated me. And I guess that's what I deserve for turning away from him. Even if it was for his own good. I loved him, so I would deal with the pain that goes with it. I walked into the closet throwing my towel to the ground as I put on a matching set of black underwear and a black push-up bra. I walked to the back of my closet where my favorite things were. In a see-threw bag was my Day Class uniform. I stared at it sadly. Missing my worry free days with Zero, where all I would have to do was beat Zero for bring a jerk and making my father happy.

I stared at it a bit longer remembering my favorite days of my life, before grabbing a white tank top and a black skirt similar to my uniform one, I sat down sliding on my above the knee-length boots. My brown hair was dry and I left it down, I grabbed a black jacket before walking out of my closet. Kaname was going to be pissed she was leaving but she could handle herself. The only thing she was worried about was Hanabusa. He wasn't going to go along with this well. He would get over it.

I listened to the clack of my heels as I walked around my room gathering the things I would need. I still had clothes there, so I wouldn't need then, But I would need stuff like a toothbrush, and hairbrush. So I threw those kind of things into a bag, made sure I had money and threw all of that into a book bag, throwing it over my shoulder, then I tied Artemis to my thigh, hiding it under my skirt and walked out of my room, not looking back.I wasn't sure if I was coming back. I didn't plan on it, at least not willingly coming back. Kaname might drag me back by my toes, but I was not coming back without a fight. I had almost made it to the door before Aidou was blocking my path. The blonde Vampire had a face of determination, and he looked like he wasn't going to back down.

"Yuuki, Kaname said no." "Aidou, I said yes." "You can't go out. It isn't safe." "I don't care what is safe or what isn't I'm going and you can either go with me or not. But I am done taking orders and I'm going to do things my own way. I am a pureblood princess. Am I not?" He sighed knowing I was right. "Yes Princess you are." His face of determination disappeared and instead a look of failure crossed his face.

"Then I Will do things my own way!" I cried. "Fine Princess, then as your guardian I must come with you. So maybe Kaname doesn't kill me." Hanabusa-sempai sighed. "If he tries to kill you he will have to kill me first." I said grinning. I had won. "Come on." I said taking his hand and running for the door. "Shouldn't you I don't know maybe leave him a note as to where you are going." Adio whispered. "No." I shock my head. I wasn't going to risk him following me.

"But Princess." "No Adio." I said looking into his crystal blue eyes. I could see the worry in them. Not just for me, but for Kaname and for the first time, I saw how much stress I put him threw. I stared into his eyes for a minute longer searching for something. Something I never found. Concern for himself.

"Aidou-sempai why don't you stay here?" He closed his eyes and started to shake his head. "No, I must go with you." "How much sleep did you get last night?" I asked, the dark bags under his eyes had gotten darker. "An hour maybe. Kaname had me up all night making sure everything was read for him to go meet the head of the Hunters Association, and watching over you." "Come on Aidou. He won't be back for days. You should stay here and rest. I will be fine." "No Yuuki, I must come. I will rest where ever you are going." "Fine, Aidou. If you must. Then we must hurry." I said grabbing onto his hand and pulling him out the door.

Never looking back at the house I was born in. I ran down the road towards the train station and bought us two tickets. We climbed onto the train and I made Aidou lay his head on my shoulder and get some sleep, while I watched for danger and Kaname. I was slightly afraid that Kaname would know where I was going. Although it seemed that Aidou had no idea. I was just over the hurt I was feeling in my heart. I was over the scared feeling, I was over being terrified of my brother. I was done. I didn't love him. I didn't want him. If I did, then I would have stayed. I wasn't worried about the fear I would cause him, when he got to the house and I wasn't there. I could care less. I was a horrible sister, but I no longer care. I have played like I cared for months now, and I was done. Forever I was done pretending.

I was not longer going to be Yuuki Kuran Pureblood Princess. I was once again going to be Yuuki Cross, Daughter of Kaien Cross and best friend of Vampire and Vampire Hunter Zero Kiryu and if my older brother didn't like it. Then he could kill me, and if Zero wanted I would let him kill me. But I don't believe he can. I don't believe he will. I was going back to my old life. Or as much of my old life as I could. I was going back to Cross Academy... And I plan on staying there until I graduate. Or I die... Either which come first... All I knew was that my decides wasn't going to be easy and I don't know if everyone will let me back... Zero, and I don't know how Kaname will take it... But I know that it will all be worth it.


So what does everyone think? Was it any good? Should I continue? Should I quit? What do you think? Please let me know. By leaving reviews and subscribe to it and me if you please. I would love to know what you think. Sorry for all of those who love Kaname. I think he is an asshole and should burn in hell. Where he belongs, but that's just me. There is a poll on my profile, tell me who you think she should be with Zero or Kaname. I vote for Zero! =] Yummy Vampire!

Anyway thanks so much for reading and if you see any mistakes please let me know... I will take any help you give me! Please and thanks.

Kaname- I was barley in this one.

Me-Oh shut up you go fro nothing piece of shit. You're lucky your name was mentioned. Jerk face.

Zero-So She is coming back to me?

Me- Yes but would you prefer it be me to come to you? *Winks*

Zero-Yes please!

Me-Yay! I'm on my way!

Yuuki-Wait Zero but I'm coming to you, why do you want her?

Zero-She didn't leave me for an asshole.

Me-Yeah Yuuki, I didn't break his heart like you did, and like I'm going to break your face with this baseball bat named Freddie. *Grabs Freddie from his glass case and runs after Yuuki.*

Yuuki-Oh please no! -Screaming-

Me-There now can you please be a good girl and tell these wonderful people I don't own this.

Yuuki-But you just...

Me- *Grabs Freddie*

Yuuki- No *Hides in Fear* VampirePrincessOfLight, does not own any of the characters in this story, nor does she own Vampire Knight, it all belongs to it's wonderful creater,writer, and artist. The only thing she owns is the plot.

Me-Good Girl

Zero-So please read and review!

Me- Yes please *Wink*

Thanks to everyone who pointed out the stupid stuff I had done in this chapter and for yelling at me till I fixed it... lolz! You know who you are! =]