EDIT: Due to some problems with (if by "problems" you mean me breaking the rules by even posting this here in the first place), I've moved Ask Scarecrow to LiveJournal. I'll have the first two sessions posted there just in case they get deleted on FF. I hope the move won't drive too many of you away; I really adore your questions! (Scarey does too… he just won't admit it. Or he truly does hate your guts. Probably the latter.) Remember, you can comment on LJ anonymously if you don't have an account! It's here (without the spaces): http:/ scary-sessions . livejournal . com/

In the name of all that is holy, I cannot believe I find myself sitting at this desk again. I refuse to encourage you twats by wasting my time on an introduction.

Yeesh, I really do talk a lot. :) Sorry Jonny! I'll see if I can keep it a little shorter this time so ya can enjoy whatever sandwich you're on at the moment. Worse things than that out there muffin, 'specially since you're kind of a stick. :P

Huh, your explanation on the bugs really does make a ton of sense though. Know you've sorta got no choice, but thanks for explaining anyway! I'd hug ya, but internet's no go for that so guess I'll just make it up to you later. ;) Keepin' my science-y question from last time, but if ya haven't escaped yet I might have to come up with somethin' nice and personal for the next go around.

And Mr. J's really not so possessive as you'd think Spooky-he even told me the whole thing was hilarious! Um...actually, it probably would be better if ya just handled this one yourself. Everybody knows I've got moxy, but might not look so good if you got rescued from a girl by aProxy-Connection: keep-alive Cache-Control: max-age=0 irl. If ya know what I mean. I'm sure you can manage, Dr. C! XD I'll be countin' the days 'til you're back at the Iceberg. Maybe Ozzy'll even open up bets!

Yuck, still left ya an essay when I said I wouldn't. Talk to ya soon, Jonathan! Don't give yourself a migraine!


P.S. To the girl holdin' dear Dr. Crane hostage, ya might win some points with cake. Think Hat mentioned he likes it. :3

Physical contact is unnecessary, Ms. Quinzel. I'd appreciate you remembering that the next time we meet, not that it's stopped you much before. As for your question in the previous so-called "session", I have indeed put my subjects in positive and negative situations at different stages in their downward spiral. Starting off with a negative situation/stimuli generally led the subject into screams quicker, but it often stayed on a more hysterical level than a deep-seated, permanent terror without the help of a full level of toxin. Positive situations before exposure, however, had surprisingly delightful results. The sudden contrast from feeling of safety (perhaps comfort from a loved one, or a setting similar to a childhood scene) to terror most often gave the subject a sensation of having that positive influence ripped from them, and had much harsher, permanent psychological damage. Unfortunately, I've only went into this deeply a few times, as it takes a little research of the subject to find the right situation, and I normally can't be bothered.

As I said before, I'm sure I can handle The Bitch. I'm just waiting for her to slip up… everyone does eventually. And why would Oswald be placing bets? Surely not that many know about my current situation? I have the sinking feeling this is going to take quite a while to live down.

The Bitch thanks you for the suggestion. I scold you for encouraging her baking antics.

Tut tut, I would think that you would be intelligent enough to avoid these particular situations by now. After all, you are one of the few people I would say are even close to my genius level of intelligence. This just shows that my intelligence is much more superior. I do hope you are enjoying your time there... now hurry up and escape! Tetch and Harley are getting quite annoying! "I hope Jonny's alright!" "I do miss the March Hare!" It is driving me insane! Do whatever it takes, JUST GET OUT! *ahem* Now, my question: I am always watching when someone tells me to though I am not alive. I am not always wanted but sometimes am and stand the test of time. What am I?

Ugh, so my suspicions that Ms. Quinzel and Tetch are spreading the word are confirmed. Peachy. No, Edward, I think I plan on staying in God Knows Where for a few more weeks to chat over tea and discuss my life story. Of course I plan on getting out! I find the fact that you feel the need to remind me insulting! I would rather cut off my right arm than spend another second under the constant bombardment of Her insistent questioning.

As for your petty riddle, it is obviously a camera. "Stand the test of time" gave it away immediately.

Insanity is quite the fluctuating concept isn't it? In the Aztec empire, sacrifices to the "gods" were the social norm, but today... well... I think you know the result of that. And in ancient times, if you heard voices, you were probably revered as a messenger of god while today, it's the loony bin for ya'. The concepts of normal and abnormal simply adapt and change as society itself changes. Well, as they say, "The only thing constant in life is change." Anyhow, sorry about that little rant. I personally admire the Gotham Rogues, they have the guts to stand against the norm to achieve great things... now if only you guys didn't kill people... *ahem* Once again, I apologize for my rather... distracted manner. I simply feel quite philosophical today. Wait, excuse me for a second. *turns away from keyboard* "I told you he wasn't schizophrenic. It's like you with your stuffed animals, it's a psychological thing!" *returns to keyboard* Sorry, that was my friend being quite disappointed on the fact that you aren't actually a nice guy with the tragic issue of having another personality that hinders your ability to gain acceptance in society. You gotta love fan girls, they should get their own category of insanity, they way they drool over... *shudders*. I do not understand the point of hero or celebrity worship, in the end, they are only human. I understand admiration but worship? That's just too much. And once again, I have gone off on some random topic. Oh, and a possible answer to the reason why you are so "drooled" over. Cillian Murphey's portrayal of you gave them a "hot" portrayal of you which publicized you. Then, the multiple personality thing, they might see you as a sympathetic character, a victim of your own mind. That and the whole thing of girls being attracted to "bad boys". This from the viewpoint of a fellow member of the female persuasion... so I think these might be some of the few base reasons. I do hope that this made sense. Now FINALLY, to my question: What is a true psychology class like?

PS: Crows are actually revered in some cultures. Like, there was this one legend where crows were once white, and yadda yadda yadda.

PSS: Hailey dear, you should know that ANYTHING can be used as a weapon. The effectiveness differs, but believe me, if you can imagine it, you can probably do it.

Judging by the way The Bitch just went slack-jawed at the mention of this Murphy, I would assume you are right. So, under this line of thinking, his "tragic murder" at the hands of the very man he impersonated should clear this right up? I do hope so; the mockery I receive about my "fanbase" from my so-called colleagues is quite annoying, let alone the "fans" themselves, though I've had the miraculous luck of avoiding meeting any until recently. I do believe someone should tell these girls that lusting after killers is not at all healthy.

A true psychology class (meaning one not taught under myself), would cover all the basics of the field, assuming it is an introductory class. The professor would most likely cover developmental, biological, cognitive, social, experimental, and clinical psychology, as well as a few others as the instructor sees fit. There would be long lectures on each subject, followed by tests, midterms, and finals along the way. Quite dull, if I do say so myself. I always preferred a more "hands on" approach to studying the secrets of the mind.

And I believe I am familiar with at least one of the myths you speak of. Apollo turned the raven black for being the bearer of bad news, no?

Hey there, Crane. =D Here is my question. What would you have done if you ever succeded in defeating the Bat (by death or insanity)? Drive Gotham insane, or would you have just continued in your research?

Ah, I will admit to daydreaming of the day I finally bring to the surface the Batman's true insanity, and watch Gotham crumble as he does. Yes, I do believe a mass distribution of my toxin would be in order, though it would be against my best interests to destroy every civilian mind. Fellow rogues would still want in on the fun, and I'd hardly want to face their wrath should I ruin it by leaving no one to play with. Of course my research would continue, and much more freely as well.

You say that you have never been in love...really? Because I recall in high school you had a crush on Sherry Squires, then you tried to make a college student name Becky Albright into your "Mistress of Fear", and lastly you developed a friendship with a woman name Linda whatever-the-hell-her-last-name-is until she betrayed you and turned you into the Scarebeast.

You say you don't reach out to anyone, but explain all those women. Not a question, I know, but I'm really interested to hear your answer.

Like I previous said, I, as every teenager, confused raging hormones for some vague feeling of "love". Miss Squires was vapid and self-centered, Ms. Albright was a disappointment, and Dr. Friitawa was a bitch (even more so than The Bitch). One of them might have had potential to be used in the future, but that was lost, and I refuse to believe I "loved" any of them. You waste my time with your insinuations.

Dear ,

I heard that you once tried to gas the Joker, and it didn't go too do you think your Fear Gas didn't work on the Joker? And if it did work, what would be the Jokers' greatest fear, in your opinion?

The Joker is clearly a very unique case. The fact that he's already insane beyond anything I have ever seen could have been a factor. Or it could be that he had already become what his previous, sane self had most feared, and therefore had nothing left to be afraid of. Whatever the reason may be, I have no intention of going for round two and risking the consequences. There is still much else to study in my underappreciated field.

As for the Joker's greatest fear, I will have to grudgingly admit I haven't the slightest clue. Perhaps normality, a feeling of just being another in the crowd? His ostentatious urges would certainly attest to that.

nawww bless you hugs...alright, know you hate being touched, but suck it up or watch a Disney film :P

Have you ever seen silence of the lambs or read the Thomas Harris series? Because you claim you've taken up the mantle of the scarecrow but jaysus, I watch Hannibal Lecter and the similarities are striking!

Would say don't eat me, but hey, I'm a fangirl so that threat doesn't have much fear for me :P

I have never seen or read the series; I've never been much for fiction, though there are a few classics. The Bitch is now scrambling around the room looking for her non-blood stained jacket to run down to the move rental, though, so I hope you're happy. Then again, maybe having her out of the house isn't such a bad thing….

Damn it all, she's nailed the desk to the floor since my last attempt. Foiled.

Did you know that Batman is really Bruce Wayne?

Bruce Wayne, the playboy billionaire? Of all the ridiculous names to throw at me, Bruce Wayne? Please, he couldn't fight off a petty purse snatcher.

Dear Johnny,

What are your thoughts about Pamella Isley? Romanticaly, generally, ect, ect...



P.S. I was very upset when you got killed (Er, eaten..) in the Arkham Asylum game. ;_;

I suppose I vaguely respect Ms. Isley for her tenacity, though she is entirely too fanatical. I would perhaps find her a little less bothersome if she would just let me occasionally borrow the pollen of her "precious babies", instead of throwing a fit every time I'm forced to take a little. Nevertheless, I find her more bearable than most of the other rogues. I have no romantic interest in her, nor do I feel one coming on any time in the future.

Why, in every adaptation that involves my appearance, do I end up killed or insane? The producers of these games/movies/shows need to wake up from their idealistic utopia and realize that, more often than not, the "bad guys" tend to win.

…Out of curiosity. How exactly was I eaten?

Well, at least you're alright, cricket! I await our little party as soon as you get out of there. One question: What kind of tea would you like? I got all kinds, ranging from traditional to exotic. Oh, I do remember how you take your tea; lemon with half of the sugar bowl! I must say, Jonathan, you have to lighten up on the sweets...they'll give you nightmares! Hahahaha!

Well, good look luck and may we meet again!

Truly yours,

Jervis Tetch


What do you mean you don't have friends, you Jabberwocky!

What with the weak excuse for tea The Bitch has been trying to serve me (would you believe she tried to give me warmed Snapple the other day? Snapple!), some simple black tea would do wonders. Nightmares. Hah.

I apologize if I offended you by not calling you a friend, Jervis, but assuming friendship relies upon complete trust in the other, friendship is hard to come by in our profession. I suppose, if I absolutely had to choose, you would be the closest thing to a friend I have. Repeat this to no one, I have a reputation to keep.

Hiya, Dr. Crane! Or should I call you Scarecrow? Ah, oh well...

I am writing this in the rain! Really, there's a rainbow out. Oh, now I remember what I was... Nope. Why am I typing this again?

When you were a kid (like me) did you have a pet? Like a puppy? I know you aren't a very sentimental guy but I love animals.

And hey, animals aren't unintelligent! My dog can understand every word I say!

As you can see, I like to argue. But please explain this question ^^ to me!

Oh, and don't you have manners? Calling a LADY a BITCH is not very nice!

With All Sincereity, LuvIsAThing (or Brandy)


No, I never had a pet, at least one that survived very long. I can recollect one or two instances when I brought home a small animal as a child, but my grandmother was never fond of animals, and I'm sure the rest can be inferred. Later on, if I ever brought an animal home it was to kill myself.

Manners shouldn't be wasted on a woman who has me handcuffed to a chair, thank you very much.


You have a very strange tactic for getting a man to like you, if that's what you're attempting. Regardless, t's not working. And I don't detect a question. However, I can assure you there are no bats.

My esteemed Professor Crane, (esteemed even if I can only ask you this question when you are restrained,)

Given an opportunity to teach a class again, in any manner you chose, what exercises and readings might you assign to potential students, and what would your goals for the class be? Let us say, for the sake of this hypothetical situation, that you could hand-pick your students so as to eliminate those who would be unworthy of your tutelage. (Which I recognize might be everyone, but you DID choose to become a Professor rather than stick to research alone, so I assume you had SOME interest in teaching? Even if some or all of the students might end up dead.)

Thank you for your time, even if it is given against your will. (One can at least strive for a modicum of dignity in these situations through adherence to a manners, yes?)

Hm, a semi-interesting question, at least. I suppose my main goal for the class would be to shed light on how underappreciated the field of fear is. There is so very much to be discovered, if only psychology hopefuls would clear away their dreams of "curing" the world of all its mental disorders in a single swoop of their oh-so-brilliant hand. As the case may be, the odds of finding even one student worthy of my tutelage are next to none. If I ever did, he or she would have to be very similar to myself, which would hardly be reassuring considering I detested most of my own professors.

Would you ever partnering with Bane, Poison Ivy, or Black Mask? Between the 3 of them, they would probably know a good deal of various kinds of chemicals- be it steroids, drugs, or organic hallucinogens-that could help you in your research.

As I said earlier in this session, I would find Ms. Isley much more bearable if she would be less protective over her "leafy children." Access to the pollen she breeds without breaking and entering would be helpful. As for Bane or Black Mask, I really have nothing to gain from them. Black Mask is an overemotional rich boy unable to come to terms with his failures, and Bane is little more than a recovering drug addict. All three would rat me out without a second's thought, so none of the above, preferably.

Dear professor Crane

through out my child hood big dogs have jumped on me,

bitten me, and literaly ran me over, and i'm not afraid of them

in the lest. However i am terrified by chiwawas that have done

nothing to me other than bark. How is that possible?

Strange, but not unheard of. Perhaps you don't fear them because you know the extent of the damage they can deal. Half of fear is not knowing how bad it will be. Though I have never wasted my time on it, supposedly it is similar to falling for the first time while roller-skating. One may be hesitant and afraid to fall at first, but after falling, one realizes it isn't that terrible. As for small animals, they tend to act quite loud and brave, correct? Maybe it is more of that abrasive personality you fear, seeing as larger dogs have nothing to prove and can be more quiet by nature. If you are a shy person, this could very well be it.

I sincerely hope you all are suddenly possessed by the irrational urge to throw yourselves off cliffs. Should this miraculously happen, please feel free to do so.

Thank you all for sticking with me, even though it's so long between updates! I gotta take baby steps with ol' Spooky, am I right? He really does have a way of grating on my nerves, but I'm sure the feeling is mutual, so no matter! Again, I hope you guys manage to stick with this even though I've switched him to a different site. Remember, you can comment on LJ anonymously if you don't have an account! Just go right on over here (without spaces, again): http:/ scary-sessions . livejournal . com/

Thanks for bearing with me-