Disclaimer- I don't own twilight.

Another party. Another fund raiser. I had stopped knowing what the charities were at these things long ago. All that mattered was that I was there. I just had to show up, smile and be the polite like the polite little senators daughter I was born and bred to be. Lauren handed me my fourth glass of champagne. There was never enough food at these things. I guess they think wasps don't need to eat. The champagne and liquor flowed freely though. At least that made it bearable. Lauren was gorgeous as always. Senator Mallory's perfect daughter. We had all been forced into the same social circle once our fathers were elected. She was the closets thing I had to a friend here since my boyfriend, Jacob, was off writing a speech my father would give before the senate tomorrow. It seemed like he was always working. Never enough hours in the day for me once you put my Dad and Sam in the mix. I yawned into my fast gracefully. I wasn't tired so much as bored. Lately I was getting the feeling like I was sleep walking through my life. Lauren chuckled beside me, gesturing to the stage as Micheal Newton ascended it gracefully.

"What's going on?" I wondered. Lauren rolled her eyes,

"Mike's going to propose. They met a year ago today. Jessica has no idea it's even coming." she was beaming. Lauren loved gossip, so did Jessica for that matter. Jacob and I had been together almost as long as Micheal and Jessica. My father had insisted I go out with him. He was my fathers speech writer and also his biggest supporter. Sometimes I wondered who he adored more, Me or my Father Senator Charles Swan. All my single friends were jealous of course. I wasn't so blind as to not see that. He opened up all my doors and accompined me to all the right places but something between him and I was missing. He was quick with a sweet compliment and extremely close to my father. I should have been happy about the rumors flying that any day now he would propose. My mother would be thrilled of course. A summer wedding in Washington. She had said to me just this morning that it wouldn't take long to plan. I reminded her again that he hasn't even broached the subject with me yet. I should be thrilled I wouldn't have to lift a finger. She was thrilled. Why wasn't I? Why wasn't I panting with happiness?

"If I could have everyone's attention please I'd like to propose a toast to the Stanley's for throwing an absolutely lovely party this evening." he paused for applause. I wonder if they taught being a pretentious idiot at whatever over priced prep school he went too. They'd taught it at mine. Lauren got me around my free wrist and drug me closer to the stage. We were very near the Stanleys now. Jessica was beaming at him with pride and devotion.

"I have something I would like to ask Ms. Jessica Stanley if she would kindly join me on stage." Jessica, loving the spectacle this was becoming smiled and went up on stage with the train of her baby pink and crystal evening gown dragging behind her. She did everything but put her left hand down and accept the ring before it was even offered. Part of me wondered if this was fake...staged...maybe he had asked her earlier and this was all for show. I chided myself for being so cynical right as he slipped the massive diamond on her ring finger and she shrieked a typical

"Yes. Yes. A thousand times. Yes." We all clapped and I pasted a fake smile to my face. They came down off the stage and the band began to play once again. Jessica embraced her family one by one and then Lauren and I. I hugged her gently and then looked with faux jealously at the ring on her hand. She embraced me again.

"Your next!" she whispered in my ear. The thought of sent a icy feeling straight to my toes.

Later that night I was in the massive kitchen at my parents home eating ice cream sitting on the island still in my beaded evening gown from the party when I heard a "tsk tsk tsk" coming from behind me. My shoulders slumped.

"Isabella how do you ever expect to fit into a bridal gown with all the snacking you do?" my mother asked. She took the pint of Ben and Jerry's from my hands and tossed it in the freezer. My Mother was Renee Higgenbottom-Swan. She married my father right out of high school to get out of the po dunk town they grew up in. Forks, Washington. Population under four thousand. My father's father was the chief of police, Geoffrey Swan. He passed away when I was a child. Right before my father was elected. My Grams, Helen, still lives there. The thought of her makes me smile. I miss her. She was the one true constant in my life. I could call her day or night. Show up on her door step unannounced and she'd be there for me. She was getting up there in age too, almost ninety but her mind was sharp. I was glad she lived in a tiny town away from all my fathers political ambition and my mother's social climbing. Her house was really the only home I had ever known outside of the boarding school they sent me to in New York. I only lived in this massive house when I had too. Most of the time I had away from school we'd be on posed family vacations or I would hop a flight straight from JFK to Washington state where my Grams would be waiting for me with open arms. I was her only grand child and she thought I was perfect. She was the only one.

I groaned. She'd mentioned it again...a wedding...the wedding...I sighed to myself, grabbing my heels from the floor where I had kicked them off and started climbing the massive stair case to my room. She was right behind me of course. Not once did she ask about my evening but instead of Mike and Jessica's gaudy engagement. I gave her the few details I could remember while she unzipped my dress and hung it up for me. She was hovering. She hovered...a lot. I pulled a worn tee shirt and boxers from my drawer and pulled them. After I pulled my hair up in a pony tail.

"Well your ring will be much prettier then hers. The Stanleys are old money anyway. Everything about them is tacky tacky tacky." she loved these moments of forced mother daughter bonding. She never seemed to understand, I didn't want to bond. I shook my head for a moment. I turned from my dresser mirror to face her, I couldn't look at her so I stared at my feet. My mother was everything I wasn't. She was regal, I wasn't. She was beautiful, I was no where close. I looked to much like my fathers side of the family, pale skin, dark eyes and dark hair. She was radiant. And with the help of several plastic surgeons, she stayed that way.

"Mom I've been thinking." I stopped short, opening my mouth and closing it again. "Maybe I should travel a little before I settle down. I was thinking Madrid or Italy. Tuscany is beautiful this time of year..." I trailed off when I saw the shocked look on her face.

"This simply isn't the time for you to go running off to Italy. Perhaps you'll honeymoon in Italy. Wouldn't that be lovely?" she stood up gracefully off the end of my bed and patted my hand.

"Just cold feet my darling." She took both of my hands raising them from my sides,

"I think tomorrow we'll go see Dr. Volturi." he was my mothers nutritionist.

"I'm not over weight." I eyed her carefully. She patted my cheek.

"Not yet darling but there's going to be things you'll want to look good for and everyone could stand to lose a few pounds." she dropped my hands to my sides and went to bed while I stood feeling utterly shitty about myself.

I was having the strangest dream. All around me there were bright lights and women giggling loudly. They were tossing wedding gowns at me.

"You'll look beautiful in this!" an older woman said tossing a lacy dress at me.

"I don't like it!" I said sternly tossing it to the floor.

"Your mother does!" she said brightly. Jessica and Lauren appeared beside me.

"We do too" they said together. Their smiles were to wide. Teeth to bright. They looked like rejects from Sound garden's black hole sun music video. Any minute now their faces would melt off there skulls. Another older woman tossed a gown in my arms. It was uglier then the last.

"You'll be perfect in this one!" she chirped. My chest heaved. I refused to cry and forced the tears back stubbornly. It was what I had been trying for all my life.

"I could be perfect." I whispered looking at the ugly heap in my arms.

"Perfect for your mother!" Lauren said happily.

"Perfect for your father!" Jessica said clapping and giggling. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was suddenly wearing the monstrosity.

"Perfect for everyone else." I heard my Grams aged voice from somewhere else. I turned and the lace train followed behind me as I ran looking for her. The dress became tighter and tighter until I was clawing at it to get it off but it wouldn't come off. It was stuck to me like glue. I clawed helplessly at the high neck of the dress. I was panting. They came again. Running at me with ivory and white tulle and lace dresses clutched in there fists.

"This one! This one!" they all cried over each other. I put my arms over the face to block them and that's when I woke up. I ran over and flipped on the light. I all but skidded to my bedroom mirror. I had nail marks up and down my neck and chest. I inspected myself carefully. I had to do something, anything to clear my head. I went over and flopped down in my desk chair. My guide books for Italy laying on my closed laptop. I sighed knowing I needed to be anywhere by here. I couldn't go far. Renee would freak. So would Jacob. This was my nervous breakdown not theirs and I didn't need them to be worried. I opened my lap top and powered it on. My email popped up immediately and like a sign from god my latest email was from Grams. I took it as a sign. I ran to my closet dragging out my two biggest suit cases and started filling them with anything I could get my hands on. Shirts, shorts, panties, socks. Nothing formal! My heart nearly burst at the thought of it. No dresses! No heels! I grabbed all my tolitaries and a few pairs of shoes. Tennis shoes and flip flops mostly. I shoved it all into two bags and grabbed my phone and charger. I looked over at the clock. If I was making it out of here with no interference it would have to be before six in the morning and right now it was ten after five. I dressed quickly and comfortably for the ten hour flight. I grabbed my purse and flung my sunglasses on my face. I ordered a cab from my cell as I carried my bags down the stairs as quietly as possible. I waited in front of the house. The cab screeched to a halt. I helped the barely English speaking cabby throw my bags in the trunk then climbed in the back seat. The sad part is I knew I was running from what to some sounded like a great future. To me it was literally a nightmare.

"Airport please." I said to the cabby. He simply nodded in the rear view mirror. For the first time in a long time I felt like I could breath.

A/n- So I said I'd be back in August and here I am. I started working on this and I'm a little nervous about it so be kind. I don't have a posting schedule for this so I'm not making and posting promises. Chapter 2 is almost done and will hopefully be up next week. Follow me on twitter at fanfictrips.