Disclaimer: Slade Wilson was created by Marv Wolfman and not by me.
"Mississippi Queen" belongs to Mountain
A/N: Drunk Slade is back by popular demand! LOL, I never expected "Wake Up Call" to be so popular. So here's the deal, peeps: every time I come up with another drunk Slade oneshot I'll post it here as a separate chapter. So if you want to follow the strange and wonderful adventures of drunk Slade, then add this to your story alerts.
Also, some of these "adventures" are based on actual experiences I have had with drunk people. This is one such incident.
Wintergreen glanced at his watch and sighed. It was getting late, too late even for Slade. He sat reading a book in the depths of Slade's haunt, although he couldn't concentrate because of the loud music blaring from the main room.
There was nothing he could do to stop him. The man was intent on this. Wintergreen almost didn't want to interrupt Slade, since he did have a lot to drink tonight. After a few more minutes of listening to that ghastly racket Wintergreen shut his book and frowned.
Something had to be done.
He walked down the hallway, the music growing louder and louder as he neared the common room. Wintergreen pushed the door open and was greeted with a cacophony of sound. Rubbing one of his ears, Wintergreen scowled and shouted over the music.
"Slade, could you turn down the music?"
The enormous television screens that took up most of the wall each had a separate screen. Two Sladebots worked the controls. One was on the drums and one on the bass guitar. Unmasked and obviously drunk, Slade danced across the room as he slammed his hand down on the plastic guitar. He wore his Xbox live communication headphones and sang into the microphone. All of the different tracks were in perfect unison—except for the lead guitar and vocals on top.
"Sir, are you singing and playing the guitar at the same time?" Wintergreen asked.
"MISSISSIPI QUUEEEEEEENNNNNNNN!" Slade sang. "IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN—"
Slade put the guitar behind his back and played it backwards. The track for the lead guitar on the screen right in front of him began to flicker red as Slade continually missed the buttons.
"WINTERGREEN!" Slade boomed, smiling widely as he caught sight of Wintergreen. "Come play! I'll kick Bob off of drums!"
The Sladebot "Bob" continued to play the drums. As dignified as he could, Wintergreen looked from the Sladebot to Slade, shaking his head all the while.
"No thank you, sir, I'm not as good as you. I'll fail."
"No—it's on no-fail mode!"
"That explains a lot."
The song was beginning to end. Slade went down on his knees to finish the last guitar riff, just hoping for that one last shot at a unison bonus. Wintergreen took this opportunity to back away into the hall, shutting the door carefully behind him.
"HELL YES!" Slade shouted. "I BEAT ROBIN'S HIGH SCORE!"
Well, if I had Sladebots and giant TV screens I would throw a giant Rock Band party. Have you ever witnessed middle-aged drunk people play Rock Band? It's friggin' hysterical.
P.S: If you have any ideas for drunk oneshots, PM me.