Before you guys kill me for not updating in such a long time, it's cause I've had serious writer's block. Unfortunately for me (sort of fortunately for you?), I am very depressed/ anxious/ worried right now because of some stupidly important situation so I decided to write something happy to spread laughter. So Enjoy! Super duper OOC Natsume (I apologize).

Disclaimer: If I were the mangaka, the manga would be so much happier and fun-ner right now. Consider it your loss. ;/

-x-

Natsume's Raging Hormones

Lesson #1: Never be anything less than fully clothed when around hormonal Natsume

There are three things one must learn to not do around Natsume Hyuuga. One was to not be suggestive in any way, such as wearing naval-baring outfits. Second was to not annoy him under any circumstances. Third was to never make bets with him or lose to him.

Sadly, Mikan was the only exception to this rule.

Not only did she annoy him on a daily basis and lose frequently, she also was quite suggestive. Of course, it wasn't her fault. It was totally Natsume's, since her top didn't just get pulled by itself.

With that explained, she (cmbarassingly) forgot about her bet with Natsume over the Cultural Festival.

"Like that girl is going to fall in love with you!" Mikan hissed at the cocky boy beside her. He was completely unbearable, with his "don't eff with me" and holier than thou attitudes. That was why when Natsume nonchalantly proclaimed that the pretty, shy girl next to them was just another fangirl, she got mad.

Natsume sighed in annoyance. "Let's bet then."

"OKAY!" She was not to be deterred. "What should we bet on?"

He cocked his head and gave her a good look. "Still flat chested," he checked with his hand (which earned him a slap), "there's no butt to speak of too," (another slap) "Be my personal slave."

"WHAT? Y-you pervert!"

Another sigh. "Look, polka dots, you have nothing feminine that I'd be perverted about. Even Hotaru is more like a girl than you."

She gasped and pointed a finger at him accusingly. "You're trying to steal Hotaru? You bastard!"

"No, I'm not." He explained, exasperated. "What I'm saying is even the demon spawn has more desirable qualities than you."

After a while, Mikan finally admitted defeat, albeit grudgingly.

Unfortunately for her, ten minutes later, Natsume returned with that girl's phone number, complemented by the lip stick stain on his neck.

"Yo, slave."

Of course, if it was normal Natsume, she would've guessed he would've been alright. But now this was Natsume, incredibly out of character Natsume with a libido bigger than his ego. He swung both ways now, and even Hotaru interested him. Sadly for Mikan, he requested her be his personal slave on February 16th, just two days after Valentine's.

"WHY ME?" She wailed hopelessly. "Why not Seaweed? At least she likes it!"

"Shut up, Mikan, you're making me go deaf." Hotaru admonished as she pulled on her swimsuit. Thanks to her brother and her friends' collective support, she could dog paddle now, and swimming wasn't as daunting a task as it was years ago. However, this didn't stop her from clipping her Ultra-Powerful Floating Duck Clip onto her swimsuit's strap.

"Hai, hai..." Even though Natsume wasn't anywhere near them, she couldn't help but remember yesterday's events...

Yesterday

"Wait, who?" Mikan asked incredulously. Hotaru was discussing the grave situation with her and Ruka, so they could find out how to put them out of this, er, trance.

Natsume was oblivious to the entire situation. He was just eyeing the four of them (with eyes full of desire) and making them uncomfortable.

"So how did it happen?"

"KYAAA! Natsu-chan!" The fangirls started shrieking and began chasing after Natsume and me.

"What should we do?" I asked frantically. "They're even faster than they were last time!" We swiftly leapt over a hedge and jumped onto their usual tree branch.

Natsume let out a breath of relief. "Finally. Those baka fangirls." He gritted out through his teeth and massaged his neck. Somehow somebody hit his pressure point there.

"Are you okay?" I asked, concerned.

"Yeah...I guess..." Suddenly Natsume froze. "My...body..."

"Natsume?"

"Somebody with unbelievable accuracy hit him there... I think it was meant to make him immobile and unable to run away from the fangirls. After that..."Ruka scratched his head, "He fell out of the tree."

"HAHAHAHA!" Mikan threw her head back and started to laugh. Hotaru just gave a mischievous smile. Not for long though. Natsume, hearing the laughter, was turned on (again) and threw his arms around Hotaru's waist. Somehow the chocolate not only made him aroused, but also lacking common sense.

She then used her baka gun on him. That turned him away...for a few minutes.

"He seems more excited now." Hotaru said calmly, but obviously she was a bit worried. Apparently the more she retaliated, the more excited he would get.

"Hotaru-chan..."

All three of them turned around to see...Natsume giving a strip show.

He slowly took off his tie and threw it to the ground. Then he started lifting up his shirt, inch by inch showing more skin.

"Want a piece of this?" He asked, giving them suggestive looks.

"Oh no..."

"Natsume...Is he...Is he..."

He was. He started on strip dance part two, touching himself. He put his left hand on his butt, sort of caressing it. Mikan made a note to never touch that hand ever again.

All of them tried to avert their eyes, but couldn't. It was like a volcano erupting, but only more interesting. They were disgusted yet intrigued, turned off yet turned on.

Natsume fell off the tree and there was a 'plop,' so fangirls came to see what was happening. They saw Natsume, so they ran towards us. I tried to lift Natsume off the ground but he was too heavy.

"I'll call my animals."

"No. Save yourself." He said through his teeth. He couldn't move at all.

"No, we must go together."

But Natsume wouldn't buy it. He pushed me away with whatever strength he had left. I ran away, just in time.

The fan girls came and they started to surround him. I could see them shoving chocolate down his throat and groping him and doing all sorts of stuff. He was obviously in pain, but he knew that at least I could escape unscathed.

I summoned my animals from another tree to save him. I told the mice and bugs to go climb onto the girls, and they did. So the next thing I hear, the girls are all gone.

But when I went there to approach him, he was fine, but there was a weird look in his eyes.

"Natsume, are you okay?"

He looked at me with fiery eyes, so I knew something was wrong immediately. Then he reached out his hand pulled me down, so that I was on top of him.

"N-natsume..."

And then he started licking my neck. I tried to jump up, but he wouldn't move. His grip was oddly firm. He continued licking and put his spare hand on my back. After a bit off struggling, I was able to get up, but then he had already run off.

Natsume

Suffering from: Chocolate that makes you lusty

Effects: his hormones are raging, sex-craving, out-of-character

*Effects will last up to a week

"Ah, it's swimming time!" Narumi clapped his hands together happily. Then again, when wasn't he?

They were all at the indoor swimming pool. The last time they swam was five years ago, but since the school wanted students to be protected from possible drowning, they decided to add to the feeble swimming education.

I wonder what's going on with Natsume...He's so excited right now...all those boys changing into their swimming trunks will probably get him to do something perverted again.

Mikan bit her lips worriedly. What would happen to Natsume? Actually, what would happen to all those boys? She shivered at the thought and shrugged off her top. Unlike many girls in her grade, she wasn't comfortable with exposure. Sure, Natsume took her underwear and saw her chest, but back then, they were young, and she didn't really have anything to see. But now...the last thing she wanted to do was for any of her classmates, female or male, to see her in any state of undress.

She left Hotaru and went to the shower area, where she pulled the shower curtain tightly against her body as she unhooked her bra.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Somebody shrieked, causing Mikan to be alert and pull the shower curtain around her even tighter.

What's happening?

"NATSUME-KUN, NO!" Another girl giggled.

Natsume? Here?

"Do whatever you like with me." Natusme's deep voice murmured.

Mikan quickly put on her swimming suit, a modest one-piece. The other girls in her class protested, saying that they had to have some individuality. The school board finally gave in, and some more daring high school and middle school girls put on some risque outfits. Mikan never wanted to see that much of Sumire's best friend Ms. What's-Her-Name ever, not in that barely-there swimsuit.

She finally finished and poked her head out. She had to stop him, she decided. Of course, that was until-

She saw those girls groping him. Natsume was disgustingly naked, and so were a couple of the girls. Even the girls who were dressed were ogling Natsume with pleasure.

I will not look below the waist. Nope, I'll keep my sight ABOVE the waist so I will NOT SEE ANYTHING I SHOULDN'T SEE.

She couldn't really do anything since nobody wanted her to. She sneaked out of her stall and behind the lockers before-

"Ouch!"

She just bumped into a disheveled Hotaru.

"Hotaru, what happened?"

Hotaru growled, a first for her. "Natsume just stormed in when I was about to leave to swim. Then all these girls saw him naked, flaunting his body. So they were like flies attracted to a piece of raw meat, and all ran to him. I had to shoot down a couple of them with my baka gun so I wouldn't get trampled on."

Mikan sweatdropped. She carries her baka gun even when she's going to swim?

"We need to do something, fast."

Mikan nodded in response.

"We can-"

Hotaru couldn't get to finish her sentence, because Natsume suddenly found Mikan and hugged her from the behind. Naked.

"RUKA-PYON!" Mikan fumed. She was angry, way angry. After Hotaru and her combined efforts, they finally forced Natsume off her by using her baka gun, baka canon, and baka canon v.2. They then made a dash for the swimming pool, where there were many teachers and students who could protect them (if they could).

The first person they saw was a topless Ruka.

"Why did Natsume come to the girls' changing room?"

Ruka blushed. "Uh...we were changing and some guys were taking off their pants in public for convenience. Natsume saw and he started touching their...things. They got really uncomfortable because he took off his boxers, too, and started getting really close to them. So they threw him out and he ended up wandering to your room, I guess."

"We really need to stop him." Hotaru said resolutely while loading up her baka gun. She was going to need many, many bullets.

Too bad she wasn't fast enough for Natsume who ran out stark naked.

It took the combined efforts of Ruka and Narumi to throw him inside the pool before more people got a glimpse of his family jewels.

If this was what mere swimming could cause, then tomorrow was going to be hella worse.

TBC

Sorry for the super long wait. This year I was busy with school and had no inspiration for this fic. Gladly it came up (after reading Prince of Tennis and seeing the Silver Pair's questionable position). And if you're going 'WTF THIS IS PURE CRACK,' I'd like to say it's not. At least not completely and not for long. Also lemons/ explicit lime will not be in this story. I'm sorry, but suggestiveness is the boundary.

Reviews fuel my inspiration, of which I need tons. -wink-