Hidan's voice echoed through the house reaching Kakuzu in the bathroom above him. Kakuzu growled under his breath and put down his tooth brush. They had to be at work a few minutes ago yet Hidan insisted that he needed a sacrifice. Being the nice lover he was, he went out a snatched a man walking his dog. He went looked over the banister to find him backed against the wall, hand on his victim's throat but the dog barking at him.
"Make this bitch stop!" He shouted.
"I thought you were afraid of deer, not dogs." Kakuzu drawled, taking his time by walking down the flight of stairs rather than simply leaping down.
"Hey! That's not fair! Those fucking deer were demented!" He protested.
"Yes because licking is oh so evil." Kakuzu rolled his eyes, standing directly behind the dog he demanded, "Sit."
It obeyed and he smirked at Hidan whom growled, spat to the side then promptly threw his sacrifice across the room after taking his blood. He pulled out one of the kunai Kakuzu had left in the drawer for his rituals and stabbed his hand to draw his diagram. He had used the kitchen knives once before when he could not find any of their weapons which really ticked the old banker off. That knife set was expensive, damnit!
"Just hurry up. Zetsu should be here soon to pick us up." He put on his black scarf, "I don't know how this one will react to seeing a dead body. Pretty sure he won't eat it... unless he was serious about Ze's cannibalism." He pulled the cloth up to cover his mouth then went to wait on the porch, taking the dog with him.
A few minutes after Kakuzu heard a muffled scream, Zetsu's reincarnations arrived. He got to his feet and poked his head inside. Hidan was lying on the ground, silently praying to Jashin with the corpse lying near the kitchen. He walked inside, waving at the twins to tell them to wait outside for him. The dog wagged its short tail and trot besides him as he crouched at his partner's side.
"The bastard's still alive..." He heard Hidan murmur, "You said you needed a new heart, right?"
Kakuzu sighed, placing his lips to his forehead before walking over to their victim. He pulled off his uniform and placed it on the clean table before his arm shot out, digging into the man's chest which Hidan had been generous enough to open. Threads wrapped around the heart and a moment later the Jashinist was at his side, offering an old ANBU mask. He headed back up the stairs as Kakuzu worked, going to take a shower. The elder sighed and went to the bathroom to wash the blood from his hands. When he went back to the front door he saw the dog sniffing its owner's body before looking at him.
"Sorry pooch." He mumbled before pulling on his shirt and leaving. "Hidan isn't feeling well today so I made him stay home." He informed Tsu, climbing into their car.
"That sucks." They replied.
They parked the vehicle behind the store and were greeted by Kisame's reincarnation. He was currently moving boxes around. He waved enthusiastically at Kakuzu and Zetsu before setting down his package to join them.
"Is this the new guy?" He asked.
"Yes. Kakuzu, Kisame. Kisame, Kakuzu." Tsu introduced them while his brother went in for the registers.
"What is he going to do?" Kisame wondered, given the man's stature, if he would be helping him with heavy-lifting.
"Mainly just finances. I'm taking him to Madara this afternoon to sort things out." Tsu explained.
"What kind of things?" Kisame waggled his brows, earning a playful shove from the green-haired man.
"Okay, look." He straightened himself up now, "Go ahead and give him a complete introduction to the staff while they're all here. I've got to go back home and look for my work clothes." Kakuzu just now noticed that Tsu was not wearing the store's black uniform with the Akatsuki's red cloud symbol on it.
"Right. Did Madara get them dirty last night? Poor Tobi said he couldn't sleep with all the racket you were making." Kisame joked.
Tsu coughed and cautiously retreated, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks. This got him to laugh hard enough to lean on Kakuzu for support. He flinched at the close contact; only Hidan dared to touch the large 'rag-doll' in even a casual manor. Kisame was too occupied to notice this but he started calming down long enough to lead him inside and to the break room.
"So, here is where employees stay when they need a break. Bathroom is there and the place you'll be staying, since you're in charge of finances, is in that room next to the manager's." Kisame pointed more things out, such as the vending machine, fridge, and other such things.
"Kisame, can you bring me more toilet paper?" A voice shouted from in the bathroom.
"Sure thing, Angel!" He grinned, grabbing a roll from the box.
"Stop calling me that, it's embarrassing." Kakuzu heard when Kisame disappeared behind the bathroom door.
Kakuzu sighed and sat in one of the chairs at the round table. He took the time to think, wondering if Hidan was lonely home alone, if he had killed the dog, or if he was being buried by the dog. He groaned, hoping he would not have to go look for his arm let alone dig him up... again. He was taken from his thoughts when the door to the room opened and a familiar redhead appeared. Sasori walked right past him and pulled something from the fridge with his name on it. Kakuzu grinned evilly when the redhead sat in front of him, not looking up from his snack.
"Hello Sasori." Kakuzu bit back a laugh when Sasori toppled out of his chair in surprise.
"HOLY FREAK!" He gasped, clutching his heart.
"I suppose I am a bit of a freak but it still hurts ta hear, you know." He scoffed, pretending to pout.
"Y-You're that guy from the bar!" He accused, placing his emotionless mask back on.
"Hidan told me to tell you Deidara had a nice touch that night." He lied, smirking at the enraged expression the former puppet master made.
"Where is that little fucker, anyways? He gave me a hug right in the middle of an intimate action the other day." Sasori coughed the last bit, turning red.
"... He's at home, sleeping or something." Kakuzu shrugged.
"Damn..." Sasori muttered, staring at his stitches which were showing since the scarf had been pulled down earlier.
"Hey Sasori, where's Deidara?" Kakuzu turned with Sasori to find Itachi leaving the bathroom, Kisame close behind, wiping his mouth.
"Packing." He frowned when they sat down. "We don't know where we're going to move to now though."
"Why don't you move in with Kakuzu?" Tsu had returned and stood in the doorway, overhearing. "He and his boyfriend have a huge house."
"Wow, really?" Kisame gaped while Itachi pulled out a large book.
"Oh hell no!" Sasori and Kakuzu protested, "I refuse to have my Dei move in with some psycho killer."
"Hidan is not a psycho killer! He's... just..." Kakuzu sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Hidan was a bit of a psycho killer... "Just misunderstood."
"Well you can't move in with us; our apartment isn't big enough for four." Kisame frowned.
"Kakuzu and Hidan aren't that bad, Sasori. They even have an adorable little shih tzu!" Tsu grinned.
"Shit Tsu?" Kakuzu blinked, clearly confused.
"You're kidding." Sasori deadpanned.
"No, I'm not! It's really cute! It has long brown and white fur and it was sitting with Kakuzu on the porch." Tsu explained, "Just go ahead and give it a shot. You won't mind, right Kakuzu? They'll even help pay bills if you want."
"Pay?" Kakuzu perked up at this word, "Sure, I won't mind. Hidan would love the company too..." He trailed remembering their monthly victims. "... Of course you don't really have to if you're scared..."
"I am not scared!" Sasori protested loudly, "We'll be there tomorrow morning! Kisame," The addressed jumped when the brown eyes snapped over to him, "You'll help us move in!"
"... Your funeral." Kakuzu groaned inside.
"... And bring your sword..." Sasori gulped, recalling what he had just agreed to do.
"Oh, Kakuzu, I forgot to introduce you to my roommate." Kisame looked to Itachi's reincarnation.
"Itachi Uchiha. I know." Kakuzu shrugged before there could be introductions, "I am Kakuzu."
"...You look familiar." Itachi replied.
"Really?" He sat up straighter, wondering if Itachi somehow recalled his past life.
"I think I've seen a picture of you or read your name..." He explained.
The sun went down and Kakuzu spoke with Madara about work. He would be taking over all financial issues. Hidan, on the other hand, would do what Deidara does and that is anything there is to do. Mainly cleaning, greeting, or advertising. Kakuzu sighed, suddenly tired as he opened his door. Immediately a little dog came running to him, covered in blood. He looked towards the kitchen and saw Hidan had cleaned up the corpse but not the dog. He sighed and scooped the dog up although he did not know why he bothered.
He trudged upstairs, turned on the water in the tub, and then dropped the fluffy creature in the water. Kakuzu got on his knees and started to scrub the animal but paused when he recognized a certain symbol made by the canine's fur. It was a rusty brown Jashinist symbol on his white chest. He blinked a few times to clear his head and then dried the thing before letting it go and heading for the master bedroom. Hidan was fast asleep already, nude as usual since they started living alone. He started to peel off his clothes then crawled in besides him, also in the same state of undress.
He pulled Hidan close and breathed in his scent. After he closed his eyes, he felt a weight at the foot of the bed. He groaned then looked down to see their new 'pet' curling up for sleep. He wondered how Hidan would react to it when they wake up...
The next morning Kakuzu awoke to the sound of knocking. He groaned and pulled Hidan closer to him. The smaller grinned and nuzzled him in his sleep. The knocking continued and then the dog started barking, licking Kakuzu's face. Hidan gave a yelp and fell out of the bed, scrambling away from the little creature while his lover was growling at it.
"What the fuck? I thought you were going to get rid of that bitch." Hidan huffed and the elder held the dog in his arms.
"Nah. I think we should keep it. Look at it's chest." He held the dog's chest to his face and his magenta eyes widened.
"Jashin..." Hidan grinned and then took it from Kakuzu, "I wanna name it!"
"Okay. You stay here then and I'll go help Deidara and Sasori move in." He said, hurrying out the bedroom door before Hidan could comprehend what he had said.
"Oh, okay... Wait! What!"
He jumped to his feet and ran to the balcony, watching Kakuzu welcome the two artists. Behind them Kisame was staring at the house, jaw dropped. Hidan did not blame him since he had come at him with his scythe. Kakuzu took a box from Sasori and then led them to the stairs.
"What the fuck's goin' on, Kuzu?" Hidan huffed, petting their new dog.
"Sasori and Deidara needed a place to move and apparently, despite the fact you tried to kill them, they are willing to move in here." Kakuzu explained, taking them to one of the two medium-sized bedrooms. "Go ahead and have this room." He told them, setting the box down, "I have to talk with Hidan. Call if you need me."
They watched him walk back out of the room and over to his partner. Hidan was still holding the dog as they headed downstairs and into the basement. The basement is where they stashed all the old belongings from their ninja days. A box of Sasori's sketchbooks and puppets sat next to a box of Deidara's clay sculptures and a salvageable sketchbook of his own. They were duds so Hidan made Kakuzu take them so they could remember him. They were pretty close after all.
More boxes were on the ground with stuff belonging to each Akatsuki member, their name written on the sides in kanji. By some miracle, Kakuzu even managed to retrieve Kisame's Samehada as well as Hidan's scythe which had been taken as a trophy by the deer boy. Itachi's box contained numerous scrolls, books, and pictures while his partner's had stuff to care for the sword, not that either of the immortal duo dared to touch it after it sliced up Kakuzu's hand. Zetsu, Tobi, Pain, and Konan's boxes were a bit lacking but they had at least one object each.
"I think I will call him Nihsaj. It's Jashin backwards." Hidan said suddenly, nuzzling the dog.
"... Whatever makes you happy, love." Kakuzu rolled his eyes, "So, are you okay with them living here?"
"Hm? Oh, sure I guess. It will be nice to torture them... Although our sacrifices will be harder." He was actually capable of thinking farther than Kakuzu had, "We should keep them out of the basement at all costs though. Samehada and the sketchbooks could spill the beans."
"'Spill the beans'?" The elder echoed.
"Yeah, some kind of slang nowadays that means to give out a secret." Hidan shrugged, grinning as Nihsaj licked him.
"I see..." He trailed then shook his head, "Kids these days couldn't just try to sound intelligent anymore, can they?"
"... What the fuck does that mean?"
"It means... exactly what it sounded like, Hidan..." He frowned then eyed his partner, "Are you feeling okay?"
"Sleepy..." He murmured before collapsing.
D: Oh noes, HIDAN! Wonder what happened...
xD I gave them a shih tzu. A FUCKING SHIH TZU! xDD