Two Months of being away from Hijikata-san, I felt as If I was a Useless item to him. Maybe He was right after all, He did say that I will get easily abandon. I am Useless after all Yamazaki-san, Inoue-san, Heisuke-kun , Sannan-san , Okita-san, Kondou-san Died. I couldn't do anything for them.

Anyway Hijikata-san is far up north leading the Final Battle, He must be stressing out right about now. After all he left me, I am nothing to him, I was used and now thrown away Like trash. Even My Heart was Breaking, it hurts it still does hurt being away from him for this long.

Many lives have been loss before Hijikata-san leaded up north. Everyday he kept on gaining so much on his shoulders but he eventually Broke of too much. I was there to keep him company. I always wanted him to give some of his burden to me but he's isn't the type to do that.

He was Outside looking at the sunset, I can hear his shouting in frustration and anger. He was after all crying but I was there to comfort him. His Broad back was facing me but I found a way to help him calm down.

"I'm here Hijikata-san, I will not leave you" I said while Hugging him from behind.

He continued to look the other way, But I know he was trying to keep himself from breaking further. I do not want to see him like this, He does not want anybody to see him weak. But I'll keep that a secret for only us to know.

After from this long depression and helped treat the soldiers here. I decided to Advance towards north, I just want to see his face for the last time. I will confess my feelings for him but i doubt he would return them. It doesn't matter but if I kept this feelings until the end then I will regret it my whole life.

A week later

I finally reach the building, as always I have to say I'm a new recruit here ready to serve. As always I'm assissgned to some sort of thing. It was Nearly in the afternoon but it seems like it's always dark here. While I was Doing whatever they assign me to, Hijikata-san walked past me but stop after seven steps. I turned my head to face the way he walked, he looked lonely.

After a couple of seconds and He turned his head towards mine, He looked so suprised.

"Chizuru...why are you here?"

"I came to see you"

He looked so suprised, But he turned around and said "Chizuru After your done your assignment...Meet me in my room" with that he continued to walk to where ever.

I Know that he careless about me, But the suprised look is rare. I smiled to myself and completed my assighnment but it was with difficulty to get to his room. I mean when I was done my assighnment but the person who assigned me the job asked if I was allowed there by Permission. I told him I was but he says "That's what all the recruits say" and turns to the other recruits with the same excuse.

I sighed and looked at the other recruits, but it does looks like they hungrily wanted something. So I asked some questions out of curiousness.

"Hey you guys, I wonder why do you guys wants to see Hijikata-san?" I said turning to the group of Male recruits.

They all looked at me for a while and then spitted they're answers out.

"Because he's handsome and He's our Idol" said One

"He's tough even when his comrades died in front of him" said another

I was amused at how they Idol Him so, He after all is The Fukuchou Of the shinsengumi. The person who assign the jobs got mad at us for chating and well gave the other recruits a hit on the head for lacking work. But by the time he reached me he said "You know you cause trouble for us here on your first day of serving us, besides Hijikata-san wouldn't see scum like you here."

He raised his hand to hit me on my head and I closed my eyes waiting for the impact, but it never came. I opened my eyes and turned around to see Saitou-san holding the guy's hand.

"Hajime-san I apologize" The guy said Bowing down to him when he released his hand.

"Why are you going to hit Yukimura?"

"This recruit had us out of formation sir"

"But do you understand the consequences of Hiting Him?" Saito said Pointing at me.

"Consequences sir?"

"Yukimura is a Important person to the Group if he is to be injured in anyway you will be sentence to death , He is also not a recruit , He is Hijikata-san's assistant."

"Assistant, I apologize Yukimura-san" said the guy and bowed

"Of course"

Saito-san turned to me and Lead me to a Hallway, While the other recruits Looked at me in admiralation. Once we got to a door he turned to me and said "Hijikata-san Told me that you are to see him here at his quarters, he also Knew that they wouldn't let you through without permission, that's why I came to get you there." With that he smiled gently at me and pat my head and left.

I sighed unable to gather up the courage and Opened the door.