September 29th, 2003


Adam could only thought of that word since he woke up that morning. This is the day when he turned 13, and he couldn't wait to meet his father.

His first contact with a man who called himself John Winchester was in one warm morning when he was eating corn flakes for breakfast some months ago. That man walked into Milligan's kitchen with his mother behind him. John starred warmly at him with a fatherly smile, barely spoke a single word. Adam put his spoon down and starred back.

"Adam." His voice was low and tender.


John nodded.

Adam knew it. Adam always knew that his father would come.

"How are you, Son?"

And they fell into some dining table conversation, which Adam enjoyed so much. He barely knew John, but somehow, this man could comfort Adam. A little bit awkward in the beginning, but soon he found that he could be good friends with the man in front of him.

That morning he hoped he could have a longer conversation with his dad, but the honk of his school bus called that they have to postpone the Q&A session. But John promised Adam that he would drop by again sometimes.

And John Winchester fulfilled his promise. The night before, John called and told Adam that they would have a boys-day-out in his 13th birthday.

When Adam heard engine rumbling from outside of his house, he raced to the porch. He found John sat on the hood of his Impala—the super cool classic car John owned.

"Hi, boy. Ready for watching some ball game today?"

"Yeah, sure," Adam answered cheerfully. "I'm gonna lock the door first. Just wait will ya?"

John nodded. "Kate isn't home?" He mentioned Adam's mother.

"Nah. She's working in morning shift today," Adam answered.

John opened the passenger seat and Adam slid in.

"So, Adam," John said as he sat, "happy birthday."

"Thanks," Adam responded. He swallowed before continuing his words, "uh, Dad."

Dad. Adam saw John smiled when he mentioned 'dad'. But in that smile, there's a burst of pain Adam couldn't understand.

September 29th, 2004

John shut the engine off as he reached Milligan's house. Adam turned his head to John before left the car.

"Hey, uh, Dad. Nice game back then. Thanks for bringing me there in my 14th birthday."

John nodded in a glance. "It feels good; spending my day with you, Son."

Then, Adam saw that smile again. The same smile with a burst of pain.

"Gotta go, Son."

"Oh, yeah, sure," Adam said awkwardly as he crawled off the car.

John turns the key in the ignition. "Take care of yourself, Adam."

"Yeah, you too."

And the car started running, left Adam with question about something hidden behind John's smile.

April 2005

Kate was preparing herself for her graveyard shift when Adam entered the living room.

"Hey, sweetheart. How was your day with John?" she asked as she landed a kiss on Adam's forehead.

"Quite fun," Adam answered casually. "We played pool, had some chat, played poker… He even taught me some poker trick."

"Well, looks like you both get along well. It's a good thing isn't it?"

Adam didn't response and looked away.

Kate sighed, He knew there's something Adam didn't want to talk about. "Alright then. I'm leaving now. There are some slices of pizza in the refrigerator you can heat up for breakfast." She said as stroking Adam's hair before left the house.

Adam sat still on the couch. He didn't mean to ignore his mother. It was just his thought was fixed to what John had said to him while they were in the bar. Adam finally asked John about his smile, and the pain that hanging over it.

"It's nothing…," John hesitated. "It's just… You reminds me to ones I love. I really want you to meet them… but knowing that I couldn't make it happen… it's kinda annoys me…"

That answer didn't convince Adam. But he didn't want to push John to tell the truth. Adam only nodded, keeping his question in his mind.

September 29th, 2005

"Whoa!" Adam starred John surprisingly. John had just hand him a glassful of beer. John raised his glass, cheering for Adam.

"Cheers for Adam's 15th birthday," John said. But before he sipped his beer, he added, "and for successfully drove around Windom with the Impala without leaving any scratch to her."

Adam laughed. He really enjoyed his 15th birthday. He had a lot of fun with John that day. That birthday went straightly into his wonderful-day-of-my-life list.

Adam lifted his glass, following John. He cheered too. "For John Winchester; for being a great dad."

Adam was enjoying the sensation of his first beer when John responded to his words. "Taking you to a baseball game once a year doesn't make me a great dad, Son." For a second, John starred blankly before he smiled and sipped his beer again.

Adam didn't know what to say. He felt like tongue-tied.

"Alright then," John stood in a sudden, "some pool games sounds like fun to end the day."

Adam shrugged as he followed John to one of the pool table in the corner of the bar, hoping that gettng the balls into the whole could distract him from John's words.

April 2010

Everything seemed nonsense for Adam. He remembered that he was dead. Ghoul ate him and his mother alive. He remembered he was in heaven, making out with Kristin McGee in his prom. And in a sudden, the so called angels—one of them, Zachariah, was so convincing—came to him, telling him about being Michael's vessel, fighting the devil and saving the world.

Next thing he found was he is awake in some strange house, with some strangers and a handicapped old man. And this people tried to persuade him to believe them. They told him that angels were liars. His so called-half-brothers Dean and Sam kept pushing him to believe their words just because they were blood.

Blood. Adam scoffed. How Adam supposed to take their words? The angels had promised him, if he agreed to take his responsibility as Michael's sword, he'll meet his mother again.

Mom. He missed his mother so much.

Yet, everyone kept giving him craps about the angels. Bobby, the man in the wheelchair even brought John's name. John, the one he used to call 'Dad'. The one who suddenly disappeared and never showed himself again since his 15th birthday. The one he barely knew.

Adam felt his tense up. "No. John Winchester was some guy who took me to a baseball game once a year. I don't have a dad," he shouted in piercing voice. For a moment, he felt the déjà vu. His words he had just said, was the words John said to him in their last meeting.

Sam left Adam with a bottle of cold beer. Adam exhaled sharply as he think about Sam's words.

Hunting. Protection. Normal life. Adam scoffed. John was trying to protect him, that's what Sam told him. John wanted Adam to have a normal life, keeping his innocence from the dark world the Winchesters had lived for years.

Now Adam knew why John smiled that way, why the pain always hanging there. It's because John loved his sons. John wanted them to unite as brothers. But John didn't do it, because he wanted to give Adam what he couldn't give to Dean and Sam.

Adam sipped his beer. Its sensation remind him to first beer he drank in bar with John. He felt that everything happened so fast that it overwhelmed him. He laid his weary body in the cleft next to the kitchen window. He closed his eyes as it getting heavier, whispering a word that never passed his mind for years but today.


NOTE This is the English version of my story with the same title I wrote in bahasa. Referred to the episode "Point of No Return". Please review. Thanks for reading :)