This is an Alan and Herb fic. I was watching Two and a Half Men the other day, and it suddenly came to me: It's Alan and Herb. That's the perfect couple. Go easy on me, and enjoy

"Jake! Your father's here!" Judith yelled the second she opened the door and saw Alan standing there. Jake came out with a huge bag over his shoulders. "Can I drive?" "Sure."
They got in the car and Jake started the engine. "Hey, two and ten!" "What?" Jake stared at his father with irritation. "Hands on the wheel, two and ten!" "Okay, okay!" Jake said. He rolled his eyes over his annoying dad.
"Shit! I forgot my computer! Can we go back?" Jack was about to do a U-turn in the road. "No, no, no, no!" Alan threw himself after the wheel, and turned it back in last minute. "But I need my computer!" "So, call your mother and ask her to bring it!" Alan yelled. Jake stuck his hand in his pocket. "Not now! Wait until we're home!" Jake slipped his cell down in the pocket and put his hand on the wheel. This was going to be a long ride home, even though the distance was short.

*Ding dong*
"Berta, the door!" Charlie yelled. "Alan, the door!" Berta yelled. "It's mum! I'm in the bathroom, just take my cell!" Jake yelled from the bathroom. Alan went to open the door.
"Hey Alan!" "Oh, hi Herb!" Alan said in surprise. "I thought it was Judith… What's with your eye?" Herbs right eye was purple. "No, Judith wouldn't, so we had a fight." Herb paused. "Which explain my purple eye." "Oh." Alan felt pity for Herb. "Want to go out and grab a beer?" "I was hoping for you to ask!" Herb said with a smile. "Let's go!" Alan grabbed his jacket and his wallet.
"You know, I've never had a friend I could go and grab a beer with," Herb said after two beers. "I know what you mean, pal!" Alan nodded.
"I can't understand why Judith let you go." They have had three more beers. "You're such a great guy!" "I never understood that either. Thank you! So are you!" Alan said grateful. He liked Herb, he was nice and easy to talk to. "How is your eye?" "It hurts, but it gets better every beer!" After one more beer, Alan came up with a great idea. "Why don't you join me to my office, and I'll give you something for your eye, and maybe a massage?" "Great idea! Let's take a cab!" Herb held out some money, while Alan was looking through his wallet. He was about to put some money on the table. "Hey, I got this one!" Herb said and threw a bunch of cash on the table. "Okay!" Alan said, relieved. His wallet did not have that much money.

They didn't say much in the cab, and the only sentence was: "Stop here, we're there." "Hey, that's a rime!" Herb said and clapped his hands. They went out of the car, reeling toward the door to Alan's office. Alan found his key and opened the door. Alan held it open so Herb could walk in first. "Oh, you are a real gentleman," Herb said, pointing his finger at Alan. He blushed. "Thank you. Now, the medicine cabinet is over here, and look! Here's the medicine to reduce swelling. It's cooling at the same time!" "Oh, good!" "Okay, now, close your eye and I'll smear this on your eye." Herb closed his eyes, and Alan took some of the cream on his finger, and gently smeared it on his swelling. "I liked it. It was tickling, but still nice. Can you smear something all over my face?" Herb said, still with closed eyes. "Sure," Alan said. The stood like this for a while, Alan smearing cream gently on Herbs face. Suddenly, Alan got an impulse, and stuck his face very close to Herbs. That was a little bit hard, because Herb was higher than him, but he managed it when he stood tiptoe. "Open your eyes," he whispered slowly. Herb opened his eyes, and saw Alans face. Alans real meaning was to scare Herb, but Herb didn't jump. They looked into each other's eyes, and suddenly, Alan felt Herbs lips against his. It felt good, but in a weird way. Alan opened his mouth, and held around Herb closely. Herb let his arms around Alan, moving down to his but…

So, what do you think? Review me and tell me!