Once upon a time, in a land of enchantment and magic, there lived a noble prince, and...let's just call him Yosuke. Anyway, so Prince Yosuke was livin' a pretty cool life, doing young princely things, when his parents tell him "Yosuke, you're engaged to a baby named...uh...Yukiko! You're going to marry Princess Yukiko when you're older! Also, clean your room, it's filthy and it smells like gym socks." And Yosuke was kinda pissed, obviously, so he was like "What the hell, guys! I never said I wanted to marry a baby!" but then his parents were like "No Yosuke, when she's OLDER! She'll be like sixteen so it'll be okay. She'll also be super hot."
That sounded a lot better than marrying a baby, so Prince Yosuke was like "Oh okay, sounds cool. Can I see her?" And then his parents told him that there was gonna be a party for her or something that night so they all went to see her. When he looked in her crib he thought she looked kinda ugly for a baby but then remembered that she was gonna grow up to be super hot, so he let it slide.
Then some fairies...they were named Chie, Souji, and Rise, I guess, and they came and gave them some blessings or whatever. Chie was like "Okay you're gonna grow up to be super hot" and then Souji was like "You're gonna have the sexiest voice ever" and then just as Rise was about to bless her this witch named...Kanji came in and was like "You're gonna die when you turn sixteen." This was really uncool, and he was kinda a dick for doing it for no reason, and he just kinda left in a puff of smoke and everyone was just like "what."
Oh, he also had this pet crow thing. It was named Teddie, or something. It was a really dumb crow-bear.
Anyway, so everyone was kinda freaked out so Rise was like "Okay, so instead of dying you're gonna fall asleep and if you get kissed you'll wake up" which was a really smart thing, because I definitely wouldn't have thought of that, I'd've probably been like "shiiiit" and just left.
So then Princess Yukiko's parents were freaking out because Kanji was going to try to kill her with this spinning will, so they burned all of them and gave Princess Yukiko to the fairies to take care of her until she was older so she wouldn't die. So the fairies were talking to each other and Souji was like "Guys, we can't use magic or else Kanji will find us and then he'll kill Princess Yukiko," and they all thought this was pretty smart so they moved out into the forest with Princess Yukiko and stopped using magic for like sixteen years.
On her sixteenth birthday the fairies were like "Go pick some berries Yukiko" because they were gonna throw her a surprise party, and she was like "Okay" and left and they started getting ready and screwing it up really bad.
Anyway, so Princess Yukiko was out picking berries and was singing and Prince Yosuke heard her voice which sounded like an ANGEL'S, so he followed the voice and found the princess, except he didn't know it was her because the last time he saw her is when she was a baby and she looked totally different. Prince Yosuke found her and they were totally diggin' each other but then Princess Yukiko was like "Oh, I'm not supposed to talk to strangers! Bye!" and just kinda left, but then she was like "Meet me in this cottage place and we'll have sex" which was really cool, because Prince Yosuke was a hot guy and deserved to get some.
So Princess Yukiko was heading back to her house where the fairies were, and since they messed up the party they started using magic to make it better but the crow-bear Teddie saw and told Kanji about it.
But at Princess Yukiko's party the fairies told her that she was a princess and she was going to marry a prince and she was like "But I just met this really sexy guy and we were going to get married and have tons of kids!" but the fairies didn't really care and brought her back to the castle anyway, so then Prince Yosuke went to the cottage thing to have sex with Yukiko but she wasn't there and instead he got attacked by a bunch of creepy goblin guys sent by Kanji.
So anyway, when Princess Yukiko was sleeping she heard a voice going "Yuuuuukikooooo" so she followed it and there was this spinning wheel and she touched it and died, but she didn't actually because of that spell that Rise did that made her fall asleep.
Later the fairies found her and they were like "Shit, she touched it!" and they put the entire kingdom to sleep for no reason and went to help Prince Yosuke get out of Kanji's dungeon thing.
When they got there Kanji was talking to Prince Yosuke and he was like "YOU SAYIN' I LIKE DUDES?" and Prince Yosuke was really creeped out because Kanji was seriously gay and Prince Yosuke didn't want Kanji touching him or anything. When Kanji left the fairies gave him this sword and shield and helped him escape from Kanji's castle but then Kanji was like "YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY" and he turned into a dragon and made a bunch of vines shoot up from nowhere, so then Prince Yosuke had to cut through all of them and had to kill dragon Kanji, which he did awesomely, and then he went and found Princess Yukiko and was like "Shit, Princess Yukiko is that sexy chick" and he kissed her and then she woke up and they totally made out, and then everyone else woke up and they got married and lived happily ever after.
"Soo...Kanji liked boys? Is that why Prince Yosuke tried to kill him?" Nanako asked, left with more questions than answers after the story concluded.
"He did kill him," Yosuke corrected, far more serious than he should have been about the entire story. "But anyway, he killed him because he was going to save Princess Yukiko, and Kanji didn't want Prince Yosuke to save him because he was a jerk."
"But I thought Prince Yosuke wanted the girl in the forest..."
Yosuke sighed. "The princess and that girl were the same person, Nanako-chan. And anyway, even if he didn't know they were the same person Prince Yosuke was a heroic guy, so of course he would save the damsel in distress."
"Still, Prince Yosuke sounded really shallow."
"Well you asked for a bedtime story, so I gave you one. Do you wanna hear the one about Yukikorella and the glass slipper?"
"N-no, the one you told me was fine..." Nanako said nervously, wanting nothing more than to have Yosuke leave but too kind to really say it. "I'm also kinda tired, so can I go to bed now?"
Yosuke stood up, pride evident on his face at a story well told. "Of course, I won't keep you up. Goodnight, Nanako-chan!"