I don't own Twilight. WAAAAAAAAHH!
I woke up screaming, as usual.
I sighed. When was this going to end? He didn't love me. He didn't want me. He told me so. He wasn't coming back.
Edward Cullen wasn't coming back.
I crossed my arms to hold myself together as the thought flashed through my mind.
I chastised myself. It's your own fault for thinking about him again. For having to hear his voice. You stupid girl.
I struggled to breathe. And people said you couldn't die of heartbreak.
I told everybody I was fine. I tried to act that way. And with Jake as my personal sun, it was a little bit easier. I could pretend that I had finally started to move on. It was a little bit easier to act happy. In a while, I might even be able to pretend I was happy with being free again. I could pretend it didn't hurt.
But whose were lies.
It didn't hurt. Only when I breathed.
My heart wasn't broken. Only with every beat it took.
I told people that I was okay.
But I surprised myself by waking up every morning. For surviving another night.
I curled up into the fetal position on my bed.
I didn't feel much hope. I just hoped that he was having a good time on California. I think that's where they went. I didn't want to bring back the memories to make sure.
My breathing had almost gotten back to normal.
I tried to tell myself that I was gonna make it through.
But I wasn't so sure. When I said I was irrevocably in love with him, it was that complete and utter truth.
He didn't break my heart. He shattered it to the point where I was shocked that it was still beating. And with every beat of my shattered heart, the hole through my chest ached with despair.
I took deep breaths, waiting for myself to succumb to unconsciousness to wait for morning.