A/N: Hi all, so this is a one-shot consisting of Victoire Weasley, Teddy Lupin and a broom closet.
It will be part of a series of one-shots consisting of canon pairings and broom closets. I have already written and posted a Neville/Hannah fic and a Ron/Hermione fic. I am planning on writing a L/J, Rose/Scorpius, Andromeda/Ted, Remus/Tonks. Ending up with my lucky number 7 in all.
Reader Discretion: This is rated T, and so there will be no graphic sex or even any sex at all. This is entirely to not put off younger readers and it goes for all my one-shots in this entire series.
Victoire tapped her foot impatiently and craned her neck around the corner for any sign of Teddy. He was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago! So far no sign of the blue-haired metamorphmagus anywhere in the dark hall.
Of course he must enjoy giving me heart attacks by now, Victoire thought as she stood there nervously in the deserted corridor. He's been doing it since we were in nappies, after all.
In all her five years at Hogwarts she had never explored the corridors after dark, she had never gotten a detention, and she obviously hadn't learned a single bloody thing if she was still listening to Teddy Lupin.
Suddenly she heard the soft tread of footsteps. Looking around wildly, Victoire still couldn't spot the elusive Head Boy anywhere at all. Finally deciding that it was simply the approaching sound of her imminent doom, she leaned against the wall with her eyes closed and tried to relax as much as possible before the teacher rounded the corner.
Abruptly something warm brushed against her arm. Her eyes flew open in shock and she let loose an involuntary shriek of surprise... that was totally silent?
Doubled up next to her was the esteemed Head Boy, totally overcome with noiseless laughter. His wand was still pointed at her, but it was shaking with his efforts to keep quiet.
"Theodore Remus Lupin!" Victoire meant to hiss menacingly, but no sound came out.
A moment later Teddy looked up at her. Victoire's mouth was moving furiously. Apparently she was in the midst of a some sort of biting lecture and despite the clear futility of her situation, she kept at it. All it made him do was laugh harder.
After several minutes he was finally able to look Victoire in the eye without breaking out into silent chuckles. She was still vainly trying to reprimand him without making a sound.
Teddy decided to humour her and started to nod along and smile at her.
Victoire reached up and slapped him on the side of his head with the heel of her hand.
"Oi!" Teddy whispered, rubbing the spot. "I'll only take the spell off when you're calm," he told her, casually tapping his wand on the side of his leg.
'I AM BLOODY CALM!' Teddy saw Victoire mouth clearly.
Teddy shook his head while giving her a condescendingly pitiful look.
Victoire rolled her eyes, barely giving Teddy a split second warning before she made a mad dash for his wand.
"Oh no, Vic," he told her, elongating his arm and holding it out of her reach over his head, "you're not getting off that easily. Now, relax a bit before you give yourself a coronary."
Victoire sighed and breathed in and out slowly. Raising her eyebrows, she crossed her arms over her chest expectantly.
Teddy brought his arm down and raised his wand, pointing it at Victoire. Quietly he muttered the counter spell to the Silencing Charm he had placed on her.
"Merlin," Victoire sighed, rejoicing in the delightful return of her voice. "Don't you ever do that again, Theodore Lupin!" she spat, rounding on him immediately.
"What happened to the whole relaxed thing you had going on Victoire?" Teddy asked, not perturbed in the least in the face of Victoire's temper. "I may have to put the spell back on, if you can't behave yourself."
"Behave m-myself?" Victoire spluttered, "I'm not the one who is hexing innocent girls in corridors without their knowledge!"
"Bah," Teddy waved off her comment, "It was only a Silencing Charm. For your own good anyway."
Victoire simply glowered at him.
"Be careful, or else your face will freeze that way," Teddy said offhandedly, indicating the ferocious scowl on her features.
"It will not!" Victoire said hotly.
"Well, maybe not naturally," Teddy conceded, "But if you really piss me off I can..." he drifted off, twirling his wand idly in his hands.
"You wouldn't dare," Victoire seethed, eyeing his wand warily.
"Be careful with that attitude, my little Ravenclawette, you don't ever want to dare a Gryffindor," Teddy admonished, "I just might have to take you up on your offer."
Victoire rolled her eyes. "As if."
Just as he was about to retort, Teddy heard something. There were footsteps coming from down the hall.
Beside him Teddy felt Victoire stiffen. "Come on!" he muttered, taking her hand and pointing his wand at a broom closet which sprang open immediately. He gently pushed Victoire in and then squeezed himself beside her.
"Oh great," Victoire gasped as she stubbed her toe on something hard.
"Shh!" Teddy murmured in the darkness, waiting to hear who had come. By straining his ears he could just hear Headmistress McGonagall speaking to what seemed to be Professor Longbottom. "I think they're going to be a while," Teddy whispered in the darkness. "Muffliato," he said softly, waving his wand at the door and walls of the broom closet. "There," he resumed in a normal voice, "I don't think they can hear us now."
"You don't think so?" Victoire whispered, clearly sceptical of Teddy's spell casting prowess.
"YES I THINK SO!" said Teddy loudly, nearly taking out Victoire's eardrums in the process.
"Merlin!" Victoire said exasperatedly, "You just had to do that right in my ear, didn't you?"
"Shh! I'm trying to find out if they heard us-"
"You're such a hypocrite, telling me to be quiet. Weren't you the one who just screamed in my ear?"
"Vic, shh!" repeated Teddy, flapping his hands in her face.
Victoire impatiently swotted them away, but fell silent.
"Ahh," Teddy sighed as he leaned away from the door, "We're good. They're not about to burst in here, at any rate."
"Well, are they going to leave soon?"
Teddy turned around to look at the inside of the broom closet. It was awfully small; there was barely enough room for himself and Vic. He sighed. "I think we'll just have to wait it out."
"Fantastic," Victoire muttered sarcastically. She sat down silently on an ancient crate of cleaning supplies while Teddy remained standing, leaning against the door.
"Oh, Merlin. I think they're talking about Quidditch. You know McGonagall, she'll go on for ages," he sighed dramatically.
Victoire bit her lip. "I thought she wasn't supposed to pick sides as a teacher?"
Teddy snorted. "She's not. That's probably why she's talking with Longbottom about it in the dead of night. Doesn't want any students to overhear and take the mickey out of her for favouring Gryffindor."
"Please," scoffed Victoire, "No one would ever 'take the mickey' out of the Headmistress."
"Oh yeah?" Teddy raised his eyebrows at her, "I have." A small smirk slowly spread over his features.
Victoire's eyes narrowed. "You didn't!" she accused.
"I simply told her that her tartan dressing gown was rather fetching one time," Teddy shrugged, a wicked smile still in place.
"When in Merlin's name did you see McGonagall in a dressing gown Teddy Lupin?" she asked faintly.
"Well, it was late at night, and there was quite a lot of firewhisky-" he started, averting his eyes from hers.
"Stop it right there Teddy!" Victoire nearly shrieked, hands over her ears. "You are not under any circumstances going to finish that sentence!"
He laughed loudly.
"I may not be as innocent as you think," Victoire stated, firmly crossing her arms over her chest, "But there is no way that even the most experienced sex offender could cope with the image of you and Professor- ugh," Victoire broke off. "That's just gross." She gave a giant shudder and winced.
"Relax, Vic," said Teddy in a soothing voice that was curiously offset by his mischievous grin. "She interrupted our Gryffindor Quidditch party at two in the morning because Longbottom was home with his wife that night."
She scowled. "You're such a prat, sometimes." Victoire stood up and punched Teddy in the arm.
"Ow! That's not true!" protested Teddy as he gave her a hurt look.
"I barely touched you, you big ninny," criticised Victoire, eyeing the spot where she had hit him distastefully. "You're such a baby."
"Oh yeah?" Teddy asked with raised eyebrows, "Coming from the girl who cries every time she sees a bunny?" He gave her a knowing glance.
"My fear of rabbits is perfectly reasonable Teddy, Lupin!" Victoire said hotly.
"It's a fuzzy animal," Teddy stated blandly.
"It's got beady eyes!"
"It's got little fluffy bunny ears."
"It does that creepy nose twitching thing!"
"It's about a twentieth of your body weight."
"It has sharp teeth!"
"It has a cute fluff ball for a tail."
"It eats carrots. Carrots are gross, everyone knows that."
"It hops, Vic," insisted Teddy earnestly, "How awesome is that? It doesn't walk like a normal animal. It," Teddy broke off as he tried to collect himself, "b-bloody jumps everywhere." At this he completely broke down into a bout of hearty chuckles.
"Aha!" Victoire said triumphantly, "See? It's not a normal animal!"
Teddy continued to laugh. She had so obviously missed the point. "Did you have some traumatizing bunny experience when you were little?" he asked interestedly.
Victoire became stonily silent.
"Really, Vic? It was that bad?" Teddy said, struggling to keep the smile off his face.
"Aw don't be mad, Vicky," Teddy said, failing to reign in his amusement and grinning at her. "We all have our weaknesses. Yours just happens to be little fluffy bunnies while mine happens to be Dark wizards who can kill you with a single curse. But hey," Teddy smiled, "to each his own."
"Rabbits, Teddy," corrected Victoire quietly, "and don't call me 'Vicky'!" she added in a louder voice.
"Sure, sure," Teddy said, still enjoying himself immensely at her expense. Merlin, she was cute when she was all annoyed and huffy.
"I mean it," retorted Victoire.
"I do too. I want to know what bunnies ever did to you as a kid."
Not a peep from Victoire.
"If you won't tell me I'll just have to take matters into my own hands," he muttered.
"Hey! You'll do nothing of the sort!" Victoire demanded. Her eyes narrowed as she took a step closer to him so that her nose was only a few centimetres away from his chest. "You aren't planning anything are you?"
"Nothing," Teddy said quickly, very aware of her closeness as she stood on her tiptoes and raised her chin to inspect his face. Since she was a full head shorter than him, he suddenly realized that he had a very good view down her blouse.
Victoire threw him a dubious look. "Come on, I know you have something up your sleeve."
Such a nice view...
"Nothing," repeated Teddy, his voice a bit higher than normal. "Really, Vic. I was just messing with you."
Victoire huffed in a disbelieving tone, but she moved away from him to sit back down on her abandoned crate.
Teddy gave an inaudible sigh. What was wrong with him? It was just Vic, after all. Annoying, uptight, bunny-phobic, Victoire Weasley.
At that precise moment Teddy decided that he hated his teenage hormones. They were really crap. Crap, crap, crap. Why else would he feel like grabbing her and making use of the convenient broom closet they just happened to find themselves in?
He turned away from Victoire under the pretence of pressing his other ear to the cupboard door. In reality he just needed to avert his eyes for a moment and gather his somewhat lust-driven thoughts together.
"Are they still at it?" Victoire's voice broke through his musings.
"Wha-No!" he yelped, twisting around wildly to look at Victoire with a guilty look on his face.
"Great," Victoire beamed with eyes only for the door handle. "Let's get out of this damned broom closet already."
Teddy reached out an arm to bar her from leaving. "N-no, I mean, McGonagall and Longbottom are still t-talking." He gave his head a little shake to get his brain working again.
"You sure?" Victoire asked in a disappointed voice.
Teddy nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
"Bloody hell, we're going to be in here forever," moaned Victoire, running her fingers through her hair in frustration.
Teddy tried to not act like he wanted to run his own hands through her wonderful shiny red hair as well. Preferably when Victoire was making moans of an entirely different sort, of course.
At his point Teddy took to banging his head repeatedly against the broom closet door. Merlin, he needed a cold shower when he got back to his dormitory. Preferably so cold that the water formed little cubes before it left the spout.
"Why are you hitting your forehead against the door, Teddy?" Victoire asked in a concerned voice tinged with amusement.
Teddy wracked his brains for a suitable answer. "Because I feel like it," he finally said in the lamest fashion ever.
"Shut it, Vic."
"I didn't say anything," she said in a sing-song voice.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Victoire was inspecting a spider crawling over an ancient cobwebbed can of Mrs. Scower's All Purpose Mess Remover and Teddy was trying to look anywhere but at Victoire. He seemed to get very hot around the collar every time he did sneak a peek by accident. Which was every five seconds or so.
Purely to distract himself from the unbearable quiet and inappropriate thoughts swirling around his head Teddy asked, "So, how's Ravenclaw Quidditch team shaping up?"
Victoire seemed surprised by the abrupt question but replied, "Good, I think. I mean, that's what Peter was telling me the other day. He's the only one I know who pays attention to those sorts of things."
Victoire smiled. "Yeah, he's pretty confident we'll kick your arses next week."
Teddy sighed and turned to Victoire with a condescending tone in his voice, "Now, Vic, how many times will we have to go over this? Ravenclaw will never beat Gryffindor at Quidditch. Ever."
"That's not true," Victoire argued, "We're good this year!"
"If you're good, then Gryffindor is the best."
"Clearly not if your Beaters typically go around knocking themselves out with their own bats like they did the last game," Victoire wagged a finger at him reproachfully.
"We still won the game, didn't we?"
Victoire was at a loss for words. "You know that wasn't my point," she said finally.
"Yeah, it was mine. Obviously."
Victoire rolled her eyes, but laughed anyway. "I suppose your right."
Teddy slumped further against the door as he watched her begin to talk about the Ravenclaw Quidditch team and all its glories. Merlin, she was beautiful. Big blue eyes, long legs elegantly tucked beneath her, not a tangled or frizzy red hair in sight – Victoire was undeniably hot. Of course he had to realize this fact in a cramped, enclosed broom cupboard. Teddy sighed while mentally trying to appease his thoughts of sprinting from the broom closet as fast as his legs could carry him with those more inclined to snogging Victoire while pinning her to the back wall. It was going to be a long night, Teddy thought bitterly to himself.
"- and Peter was telling me that he has a brilliant defensive plan that he worked out over the summer. Gryffindor won't have a chance," she concluded in a satisfied tone.
As soon as he heard Peter's name he was seized by an unpleasant urge to snap the Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain in half. Or curse him into a dozen of grey and silver pieces. All for Victoire's wellbeing, of course. It just wasn't right for fifteen-year-old-Victoire to be dating the sixth year Quidditch star, Teddy thought to himself. She's not even close to being of age.
But, a snide voice remarked in the back of his mind, there's one seventh year that you wouldn't mind touching Victoire... Teddy gulped, trying to block the images from his mind.
"So, you and this Peter fellow..." he croaked, clearing his suddenly dry throat.
"Don't you start on it," said Victoire hurriedly, "I already got the I-will-hex-his-arse-from-here-to-the-moon speech from Dad. I'll spare you the effort."
Teddy smiled, but it felt mostly forced. Yes, hexing Baxter to the moon did sound remarkably appealing. He would have to send a thank-you note to Bill sometime soon. "How long have you been seeing each other?"
Victoire breathed in deeply. "A month? Maybe two. I'm not sure."
Internally Teddy felt elated that the boy was obviously so insignificant to her that she didn't remember when they started going out. This was a good sign.
Merlin. A good sign of what? Teddy thought to himself scathingly. I don't need any bloody good signs because Vic and I are just friends. That's all. She's practically family, anyway. Except Teddy couldn't help himself from imagining things that he distinctly wouldn't be caught dead doing to other family members.
"No, it was five weeks ago, on Valentine's day that he asked me out," Victoire sighed softly. "It was so romantic."
Teddy's hand jerked towards his wand... to curse a boy who was sleeping five floors above him? I'm being ridiculous, he thought with a surge of self-disgust and anger as he removed his hand forcefully from his pocket. However he could not stop his chest from constricting painfully as he pictured Victoire and Baxter in the boom closet he was currently occupying. Why should I care about what Victoire was doing in a broom cupboard with some bloke anyway? Teddy asked himself. Victoire's my best friend, thats why I care, he reasoned. But in the back of his mind he knew that something wasn't quite right about that answer.
It hit Teddy on the head like a Bludger. I fancy Victoire, he realized with a shock. He worriedly gave a sidelong glance in her direction and for the millionth time that night was thankfull that Victoire never learned Legilimancy.
Suddenly he was gripped with a burning desire to leave the broom closet. Screw the detentions he might get from Longbottom and McGonagall. No free Saturdays were worth spending another bloody minute in this sexually frustrating broom closet with Victoire.
"Hey Vic, do you want to see a new spell I learned in Transfiguration a few days ago?" he asked in a fake casual tone.
Victoire narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but eventually her desire to learn and see new a spell got the better of her. "Sure," she said, leaning forward in her seat to get a better look at him.
Teddy smiled at what he was going to do. "We're learning about conjuring. We just progressed from the birds we learned last year to mammals."
Victoire's eyes widened in wonder. "That sounds terribly exciting," she whispered.
"Yeah," Teddy rolled his eyes, but his gaze softened as it rested upon her, "Less so when you have to write seven essays on the subject."
Victoire grimaced in sympathy. "I guess not, then?"
"That does tend to draw the fun out of everything. Anyway," Teddy withdrew his wand from his belt, "You ready?" he asked.
"Coniglio," Teddy murmured as he waved his wand in a complicated circular motion.
It went down without a hitch.
"Eek!" Victoire shrieked in horror as she caught sight of the horrifying outline of a small white rabbit in the middle of the broom closet floor. "Teddy, that's not funny!" she said shrilly, jumping towards the door.
Teddy had trouble hearing her through his loud laughter.
"It's looking at me!" Victoire insisted, giving the rather innocent looking rabbit a glare that surely would have sent normal animals running for cover. It being a rabbit, it simply sat there and continued to twitch its nose.
Victoire eyed it warily as it ruffled its fur and moved its hind legs. "What's the rabbit doing Teddy?" she asked in a low voice filled with dread.
"I don't know, Vic," Teddy said in a muffled voice due to his hand that was pressed to his mouth to keep the chuckles from escaping, "I'm not the expert on bunny behaviour."
Suddenly it took a small leap in Victoire's direction.
With a scream of terror, she yanked open the door and fled down the thankfully deserted corridor, calling, "You are such a bloody prat Teddy Lupin!" over her shoulder as she ran.
Teddy watched her go with tears of mirth in his eyes. Silently he turned around and picked up the problematic bunny. "You are quite adorable, aren't you?" Teddy asked it, lifting a finger to pat it on the head.
It twisted in his grasp and bit him, hard, on the hand.
"Shit!" Teddy cursed. Without further ado, he dropped the damn rabbit, and Vanished it before it hit the floor.
"I reckon Vic was right about you," he said to the spot where it had disappeared. He clambered out of the broom closet and stretched, looking around him lazily. As the silence pressed in on his ears, the amusement of Victoire's exit quickly died. No one was in sight, and Teddy was left alone to make his way up to Gryffindor Tower to sort out his very confused feelings all by himself.
A/N: Unfortunately in my head I reasoned that Teddy and Victoire couldn't have gotten into a relationship two years before HP Epilogue because I picture the Potter/Weasley family as rife with gossips; there would be no way something like that could have been kept from James for that long. I'm sorry for the lack of fluffy snogging, but it just didn't seem right anywhere. If I was going to take this one step further I'd say that Teddy tries to forget Victoire after this little scene and after he graduates. He has some fligs, but always falls for her all over again during Potter/Weasley vacations at the Burrow. They finally get together during the summer before her seventh year.
As for the end, I figured Teddy needed some karmic payback for scaring Victoire like that :)
Next up, Rose/Scorpius because Voldemortisgoingdown requested it.
Was the bunny/rabbit thing too ridiculous? Brownie points if you can identify where I might have stolen it from ;)