Disclaimer: South Park belongs to Matt Stone and Trey Parker. The Snow Queen belongs to Hans Christian Andersen.
Stan looked down at the paper in his hand with a scowl. The due date stared up at him like a gleaming becon of hate. The assignment had been given to him by his english teacher about two week ago to write a seven page fairy tale. Just like everyone else, Stan believed this assignment to be a piece of cake. The only difference was that he had shoved the paper with the assignment on it in between his unused math and history textbooks and he only remembered that he had to do it now. Now that wouldn't be so bad if the assignment wasn't due tomorrow.
Trugging down the hallway after the last period bell, Stan noticed his best friend shuffling through his locker and walked over to him, leaning against the locker next to him in absolute frustration.
"What's up with you?" asked Kyle, not looking up from his belongings.
Stan waved the piece of paper in front of his red headed friend. Kyle quickly grabbed it and read it over. "This is due tomorrow and I haven't even started it. What the hell am I gonna do, Kyle?"
"Man, that sucks, dude," said Kyle monotonely, handing Stan back the paper and went back to shuffling through his locker.
"Thanks for your sympathy," sighed Stan. He was royally screwed. How the hell he was going to finish this in just a couple of hours was anyone's guess.
Kyle sighed and shut his locker. "I can come and help you with it, I guess."
"You would? Kyle, you are my savior in shining armor!" yelled Stan, a gigantic smile plastered on his face as he grabbed his best friend into an air tight hug. Kyle was about to remark that it wasn't exactly how the phrase went, but his arm was grabbed by the suddenly energetic Stan and was pulled towards the front door of the school. The red head suddenly wondered what he had allowed himself to get into.
Arriving to the Marsh house, the two boys ran into the house with a quick hello to Stan's mother. Actually, it was more like Stan ran in quickly and Kyle was dragged behind him up the stairs, tripping on his own two feet as he tried to keep up. Slamming open his bedroom door, Stan finally released Kyle and plopped down in front of his computer. Kyle looked around his friend's room, inwardly sighing like usual at the horrible state it was in. Shuffling around the dirty clothes thrown onto the floor, the Jew decided to sit down on the edge of Stan's bed. By that time, the computer had finished loading and Stan had opened his word processing program.
"Do you have any ideas?" asked Kyle, praying that his friend at least had some sort of an idea. Otherwise, he might as well really be screwed.
"Yeah right, Kyle," snorted Stan, rolling his eyes. Kyle resisted in face planting on the spot. Two weeks and Stan had no idea what to write? Kyle was slightly worried that his dark haired friend was going to spent the whole night finishing the assignment. "Can you try to inspire me, maybe?"
"Why don't you read some fairy tales?" offered Kyle. "Do you have any lying around?"
Stan shook his head. "No. We threw most of them out once Shelly out grew them. Dad said it was too faggy or something. How about you read me yours?" asked Stan. "It might give me an idea."
Kyle shook his head. "N-no. No. I-I don't want to." His face was instantly red.
Stan raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Why not? You don't have it with you?"
"No, I do," said Kyle, instantly knowing he should have lied. "I-it's just not very good and I still need to edit it a bit!"
"So what? It's probably ten times better than mine will ever be," said Stan. "Come on, Kyle. Please?"
The red head sighed. "Fine. You win." Opening his backpack, Kyle shuffled through it to find the paper. When he found it, he pulled it out. "Here. Just don't make fun of me."
"Why would I make fun of you?" asked Stan, even more confused then before.
Kyle waved the paper in front of his best friend's face, his face turning slightly red from anger. "Just take the goddamn paper already!"
Stan was about to reach for it, but then he hesitated. He got a better idea. "Why don't you read it to me?"
"Do what now?" hissed Kyle. "Hell no!"
"Please? I'll think of plots while you read!" begged Stan.
Kyle gave up once again, but that didn't mean he wasn't a little pissed still. "Fine, but if you steal anything from it, I'll kill you."
"Noted," said Stan, signaling that Kyle could begin.
Clearing his throat and sighing, the red head looked down at the paper and opened his mouth to begin. "In a far away kingdom there lived a disgusting and hideous troll. This troll was the size of about three large men and his face was horrendously distorted. He would sit on a couch day in and day out, spreading evil, playing video games, and eating cheesy poofs all day long. One day, the troll finally got a productive thought in his head, although like usual, it was of pure evil. He fashioned an evil mirror that would distort everything and make things seen inside of it worse than they really were. He would travel through the land and share his horrible mirror with others. People would glace into the mirror and their lives would be instantly ruined. One day, when traveling to a queen's palace, the mirror was dropped and broken on the ground. Particles flew everywhere and the troll, when the shock of what happened hit him, he laughed a diabolical laugh at what he had caused for if the smallest particule would up in a person's body, their heart would grow ice cold and they would no longer be able to see the good sides of life."
"Why would I make fun of you? This is pretty good so far," smiled Stan. "Especially with troll Cartman! I'm sure he's gonna love that when you share it in front of this class tomorrow!"
"Shut up and pay attention!" hissed Kyle, slightly embarrassed. Then he continued. "In a small, poor village lived two boys. They were not related in the slightest, but they would treat enough other like they were. They lived near each other and they would spend every waking minute together. Their names were Stan and Kyle. One day towards the end of their school year, the two boys were sitting outside, studying for thier finals together when one of the boys, Stan, cried out, "Ouch! There's something in my eye!"
"Kyle then leaned over and looked into his friend's eye. Not seeing anything, he said, "I can't see anything in your eye, Stan. It's probably gone already." But unfortunently, the particle wasn't gone for you see, it was one of the particles from the mirror. Stan then stood up and grabbed his book, walking towards his house.
""This weather is stupid. I'm going to study inside. Don't bother me," he said, disappearing. Kyle looked at him in confusion, but decided not to say anything and went back to his books.
"Over time, the glass particle caused Stan to hate everyone and everything around him. He would become more and more rebellious and would push Kyle farther and farther away from himself. When winter came, instead of spending time with Kyle in the snow like he usually did, he would take his sled down to where all the boys spent their time in the town square. Kyle would defiantly follow along, despite Stan yelling at him for being a "creepy stalker". There, in the town square, the boys would fasten their sleds to the passing carriages and ride them for a short distance. Stan saw one passing by where he was standing. The carriage was large in size and in it sat a woman with long black hair bundled up in furs. Seeing the oppurtunity, Stan ran towards it, despite Kyle's protests. The black haired boy attatched his sled to the carriage and rode it for some time with ease. When the carriage reached the end of the town, Stan tried to unhook his sled, but the dark haired woman looked back at him and he instantly stopped. After some time, the woman looked back at him to see Stan shivering. Calling out to him, she said, "Come up here. You must be freezing." So listening to her, Stan crawled up towards her and fell asleep, nuzzling her warm furs."
At that point, Kyle had stopped reading for the grinning Stan had distracted him. Staring up at his friend, the red head asked, "What?"
Stan's grin grew larger and he said, "Oh nothing." With a pout, Kyle returned to his reading.
"Kyle eventually returned and waited for Stan to come home. Hours turned into days, but not even Stan's parents knew what happened to the dark haired boy. After a week of waiting, Kyle decided to look for Stan by himself. Traveling in the direction he had seen the carriage go, he ended up at a stream. There, climbing into an abandoned boat, he traveled down the river. He eventually came near a small house and he banked the boat, calling out so whoever lived there could hear him. Eventually, an old man came out of the house and called Kyle over to him, asking the boy what he was doing.
""Sir, I'm looking for my friend. Did he pass by here with a carriage that had a black haired woman in it?" asked Kyle, then describing Stan to the old man.
"I don't think so," said the man, "but why don't you come inside and get warmed up?" Kyle was hestiatant, but then decided that the man was too old to cause a threat and followed him in. After eating a hearthy diner and staying in the house for a few days, Kyle was reluctant to leave, but knew he had to. He voiced this to the old man and the old man wished him good travels, but not after giving the boy some provisions. Kyle then left, saying farewell to the kind, old man.
"After walking for a while, Kyle came across a young man sitting by a river. He looked surprisingly like Stan and for a second Kyle mistook him for his missing friend. Aproaching him with a joyous grin, Kyle soon realized the young man was not Stan after all. The young man had a fishing rod in his hand and when he saw Kyle near him, he asked the boy what it was he wanted.
""Have you seen a carriage with a sled trailing it? There's a boy my age in the sled and in the carriage there's a woman with long black hair," asked Kyle.
"The young man thought for a minute then said, "I think so. I think I saw someone who looked like that go to the palace. My fiance said so, anyway. The princess was looking for a spouse and I believe he was the one she chose."
""Yes, that must be him! Can you take me to him?" asked Kyle.
"The man nodded. "My fiance works for the princess so I'm sure he can doing something for you," he said. "I'm Craig, by the way."
"Kyle gave the man a smile. "Thank you. That means so much to me. I'm Kyle." The two of them shook hands then with a nod of respect to each other."
"Craig's in your story now, huh?" scoffed Stan.
Kyle glarred. "I was running out of characters. Can I continue?"
"Please do," smiled Stan. He wanted to know who was crazy enough to want to marry Craig by Kyle's standards.
"The following day, Craig and Kyle traveled to the castle where they met a twitchy, blonde boy. Kyle thought the boy was fairly strange, but didn't say a word for he was Craig's fiance and saying a bad word about a man's fiance was not something you did unless you wanted to have your face smashed in. Craig introduced him as Tweek and they walked into the castle through a back entrance. Tweek lead them up to the room and then held back, mumbling things about how the princess would kill him for this. Kyle saw Craig squeeze Tweek's hand out of the corner of his eye, but he was too busy pushing the door open to get a good look. Inside, he saw two figures sleeping in a big head. One was a woman with crazy curly hair. The other figure was nuzzled up to her breasts and his face was not visable under the covers. Kyle walked over to the side of the bed and said, "Um... hello? Are you Stan?"
"The woman snapped up and sat up, wrapping the blanket protectively around her body. The male figure in the bed sat up too, spinning his blonde head to look at Kyle. This was definitely not Stan.
""Ah, I'm sorry. You're not the person I am looking for," said Kyle, bowing. "Many apoligies."
""The person you are looking for?" asked the blonde boy. "What do you mean?"
"Shouldn't we chase him off, you idiot?" hissed Bebe.
"No no. I like him. He's a cutie," smiled Kenny at Kyle. Bebe sighed, but gave in to her perverted husband's demands.
"So for the third time, Kyle proceeded to tell his story. The princess, Bebe, and her husband, Kenny, took pity on Kyle and the following day he boarded a carriage toward's the snow queen's palace. Craig traveled to the edge of the town with him, but got off to go back to his fiance. Bidding Kyle good luck, he quickly dissapeared.
"When day turned to night, robbers fell upon the carriage. Everyone onboard was slaughtered before Kyle's eyes. Kyle felt a knife pointed at his neck and he was about to be killed when he heard a voice. "Stop that! Don't kill him!" He spun his head around to see a blonde, flat chested girl with pig tails sitting on top of a horse. When the other robbers protested, she went and killed them all. "Come with me," she said, leading Kyle by the hand. "I'll keep you safe."
"The girl and Kyle arrived to her home where she introduced herself as Marjorine. There, she listened to Kyle's story and said, "That is truly a touching tale. I have decided to help you." After resting with the robber girl for a few days, Kyle was given a horse and told to ride northwest. There, in the second town he reaches, he should look for a man by the name of Clyde. With that, Kyle was off. After traveling for four days, Kyle finally reached the town and found Clyde. Sadly, however, Clyde admitted he wouldn't be much help, but he told Kyle to travel north and seek a man by the name of Token. Kyle thanked him and after three days of rest, he traveled to the north. He located Token and after telling him the story, Token gave him provisions and told him exactly where to head to reach the Snow Queen's palace. Kyle thanked him and left the following day.
"Meanwhile, Stan had forgotten all about poor Kyle. He was currently residing in the Snow Queen's palace, playing with an ice puzzle. The Queen had told him that if he were to solve to puzzle, he would be able to live with her forever. The Queen had been out on errands that day so she wasn't able to stop a certain red head from entering her palace. Kyle had snuck in and found his friend who he had been searching for the whole time. Seeing Stan's pale face, blue lips, and shivering form, Kyle ran to him and pulled him into a hug. He tried his hardest to keep the tears from flowing down his face, but it was impossible. The droplets rolled down his face and fell onto the raven haired head and in that instant, for the tears had melted the mirror shard, Stan looked up and saw his friend for the first time. "K-kyle?" he croaked out. "Where are we?"
""You're safe now, Stan. You're safe," cried Kyle. He then grabbed Stan's face and kissed him all over, warming him up. As soon as the raven haired boy was warm enough, the two of them left the palace, hand in hand, to return to their beloved village."
Stan's grin hadn't dissappeared off his face and had only gotten greater throughout the story. Now it was as wide as possible and Kyle looked at him sheepishly. "What?" hissed the red headed boy.
Kyle couldn't react fast enough as Stan leaned over and, holding his chin with his hand, kiss the red head on the lips. Kyle, as soon as he realized what was happening, pulled back. "What was that for, Stan?"
"That was for saving me in the story," smiled Stan. Then he kissed Kyle again. "And that was for making me realize just how much I truly love you."
This caused Kyle to blush even harder. "So, um... what did you think?"
"I thought it was the best way that someone ever told me their feelings ever," smiled Stan.
"That wasn't-" started Kyle, but was interupted by Stan.
"You can't honestly tell me that this was your English story, can you?" grinned Stan. Kyle looked away from the dark haired boy, the blush still prominent on his cheeks. "So how did it end?"
"How did what end?" asked Kyle.
"The story. What happened along the way to their home? Any passion love making?" grinned Stan. Then he laughed even harder when Kyle proceeded to try to smack him in the face with his real story. This only caused Stan to pull him into another kiss, something Kyle didn't exactly mind.
A/N: This was for a contest on deviantart held by the lovely SoraDestati. God this is so last minute. I had horrible writer's block until last night and so I spent all day today writing it. I hope it's good. I personally thought it wasn't my best, but I tried super hard. If I don't win, I hope people at least like it. The story that Kyle reads is based on The Snow Queen.
I'm just happy I'm able to finally write about this lovely OTP. As for who the old man and the Snow Queen are, you can interpret that on your own. ;D
Please review. Your thoughts always matter.