Thinking Of You

AN: Well, I haven't written in awhile, been in another fandom. I'm still there and hopefully I can find time for both. In the meantime I have a song-fic for y'all. It's called 'Thinking of You' by Katy Perry, and it really fits B/B. Hope you like it, and review if you do:]

Bones brushed away the dirt from a fragment of bone, her hands gentle and strong. It was the first time in months that she was working on a set of remains within the sterile fortress that was the Jeffersonian.

Her trip to Maluku had given her valuable time to rediscover herself. The Gravedigger trial and the awkwardness of her currant stance with Booth, had combined to make her feel insecure about her life. So she had done some soul searching. Although she didn't believe in God, she acknowledged that there were parts of her personality that were swirling and hard to comprehend, being to secret from the world outside her, and even at times foreign to her. She now considered the existence of a soul as possible.

Cam, without Daisy and Bones because of the dig, without Booth because of the war, and without Angela and Hodgins because of the honeymoon, had been having trouble with maintaining the lab. They rushed back to her like homesick children, because at that moment that's exactly what they were.

Booth had met a journalist in Afghanistan and had brought her back with him. It had hurt more than she had ever imagined to see them together. She was beautiful and well mannered, and Booth seemed very fond of her. Maybe this woman would be the one who would love him for the next 50 years.

She had been so tempted to call Hacker or some other flame from her past so she could be taken too. To distract herself from what she had lost. But with her new acceptance that souls just might exist, came an ever intense conclusion that Booth was her soul mate.

She was frightened by this conclusion, but she knew it was true. It was amazing how she felt now that her heart was in overdrive, and she was too tired to fight it. But she didn't feel like she suspected she would when she made the switch from logic to heart. She expected to feel negatively changed, like a horse that had been broken. She felt an overwhelming relief, like the effort of holding herself back had been more destructive than allowing herself to be open to hurt

So she came to the conclusion not to date Hacker, and allowed herself to pine over a taken man. By know she knew that no other man would truly satisfy her. They couldn't captivate her or irritates her or free her like Booth could. No man could help her grow or protect her or save her like Booth could. He was beginning to look less like a man and more like a goal. He had become the symbol of everything unreachable that she needed anyways. He remained far away, but close enough to tempt her. It left a deep ache in her chest to not have him. It left a bitter taste in her mouth to see him with her.

Comparisons are easily done

once you've had a taste of perfection

Like an apple hanging from a tree

I took the ripest one I still got the seed.

Bones shook her head and continued cleaning the skeletal remains. She had had her chance, and now it was done with. Even if she had realized that she loved him and needed him. Even as Hacker had waived the rules when dating her, giving her leverage over the rules too if she were to be with Booth. It was too late, even though Booth had dumped his journalist girlfriend a week ago, telling her at lunch at the diner that it just wasn't the same.

She had hurt Booth a million times before, and she couldn't hurt him again. He had said that he wanted someone to love him in 30, 40. 50 years. He said they needed to move on.

You said move on where do I go?

I guess that second best is all I will know.

She'd love to move on, but she knew she'd prefer the diner to any fancy restaurant, pig figurines to diamonds, daffodils to roses. Every man, even the nice ones were compared to Booth, without her even thinking anything of it. She couldn't even have a meal with Hacker without telling him how Booth likes his meatloaf. She seemed to be programmed to feel an attraction to Booth, and only Booth.

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you

{Thinking of you, thinking of you }

Thinking of you, what you would do

If you were the one who was spending the night

{Spending the night, spending the night}

Oh I wish that I was looking into your eyes.

Hacker had called her a few days ago and she had reluctantly agreed to go on on date with him tonight. She had packed up the Limbo case and donned a black dress, surprised to find that she really didn't want to go. She dragged herself through the dinner anyways. The loneliness was just too much to take anymore. He really was a nice man, funny, well dressed and mild mannered. The waitress came after dinner and offered them a piece of cherry pie, and they both turned her down. The date had gone very well, but knowing that Hacker wasn't going to get pie and insist she take a bite made it all feel so wrong. She politely informed him that she didn't want to see him again. His eyes warmed and he asked if it was because of Booth, and they talked about the loophole their date had allowed her and Booth. It hadn't been her intention to use him, and he understood that. His eyes were warm and understanding, but they just weren't as mischievous and loving as the chocolate pools she was accustomed to. She made her way out of the restaurant, dialing Booth and asking him to meet her. Scared out of her mind, but knowing it was right, she promised herself that tonight was the night to tell him. He was too good to let go.

You're like an Indian Summer in the middle of winter

Like a hard candy with a surprise center

How do I get better once I've had the best

You said there's tons of fish in the waters, so the waters I will test.

She had tried to date Hacker, and that made her miss Booth even more. There were plenty of men that were good, that would be good lovers and friends, but she didn't want to date around anymore. She just wanted to test the water with Booth, she wanted to see if he still loved her after the journalist, after Catherine and the dolphin tie, after she had turned him down and ran away.

Making her way to the diner, she saw him standing there with a small smile, happy to see her. Gathering the strength she had left, she handed him the letter in her hand, the piece of evidence that hadn't needed to be used. It was the note she had written to him while buried alive, thanking him for everything and proclaiming her love to him. It told him that everytime she kissed another man she thought of the tequila flavored kiss they had shared when they had first met. It went on and on until there was no doubt that she loved him and always would. It told him of the shame she felt with other men, feeling guilty for preferring anytime spent with him to anything another men could give her.

He kissed my lips I taste your mouth

He pulled me in I was disgusted with myself

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you

Thinking of you, what you would do

If you were the one who was spending the night

{Spending the night, spending the night}

I wish that I was looking into your eyes

"Do you still feel like this Bones?" Booth folded the dirty letter up carefully, as though it was a priceless artifact. To him the blood and dirt smudged note was a sight for sore eyes.

"Would I have given something so private to you if it's meaning was gone?" She answered calmly. Their eyes met and his widened with shock and a joy she'd never seen before.

"I shouldn't have pushed you away, Booth. I am unsure if I can give you 50 years. I don't even know for sure where I'll be ten years from now. Maybe not even a year from now. But for now with certainty I can give you today and tomorrow."

You're the best and yes I do regret

How I let myself let you go

Now, the lessons learned

I touched it I was burned

I think you should know!

"I just gotta say Bones. I;m sorry I pushed you. I scared you off, and I know you well enough not too. I tried to move on, and I met some real nice woman, but they weren't you. So let's just agree to take this day by day alright?" Booth suggested, giving her a mega watt charm smile.

"Alright." Bones agreed shyly. He pulled her too him and cradled against her tightly. She had missed him holding her so much. She had tried to run from him and tried to escape with the promise of other men, men who were good for instant gratification. But it never helped ward of the loneliness for long.

Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you

Thinking of you, what you would do

If you were the one who was spending the night

Oh I wish that I was looking into your eyes.

Looking into your eyes, looking into your eyes.

But her thought always came back to Booth, hoping that he would just come in and knock down the door like he tended too, demanding that she come with him, for a case, for dinner, anything. But now he was here wrapped around her, looking into her eyes and smiling at her.

Oh, won't you come through?

And bust in the door and take me away?

No more mistakes

Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay.

"Let's get something to eat." Booth insisted leading her into the diner, "Since you cut your date short."

"I did eat Booth." She replied matter of factly.

"But did you have dessert? You'll love the pie today, chocolate creme, no cooked fruit."

"Booth!" She laughed, giving the necessary protest. He was insufferable at times, but now he was hers.