"Damnit! Pookie! For the last time, I was not flirting, we were just talking. Really, pookie, we were just talking. I happened to mention that she had on a pretty necklace, and she showed it to me!"
"Don't give me any of that 'we were just talking' crap! You've used that too many times to make it believable."
There was silence.
Joanne finally spoke, "You think I'm stupid don't you, Maureen?" She paused. "I mean, I must be. I keep coming back to a flirtatious, selfish bitch that only cares about herself and her feelings, not the feelings of others. It's almost like you seem to think that a simple, monogamous relationship is beneath you!"
I was dumfounded. She had never called me anything like that. Not even when we were arguing like this.
Did she really just call me all those things or am I just imagining this? I thought to myself. There's no way I'm imagining this. She just won't understand that I'm actually telling the truth for once!
I made a move to step closer, but she just backed away.
"Pookie…" I said quietly.
"Don't you give me any of that 'pookie' shit, either! I always hated when you used that damn nickname in times like this," she said coldly.
More silence. I wanted to say something, but I knew if I said something, it would've been wrong. I wanted to do something, but I knew if I did anything, she'd back away or push me away. I opened my mouth to say something, but I was quickly stopped by her words.
"You can pack your stuff tomorrow, and I expect you to be out of here by the next day. If you need any help moving, call those friends of yours."
"Poo-," I quickly stopped myself." Joanne, they're your friends too. Can't we just go to bed and discuss this in the morning? Then we can see if you really want me to move out."
"There is no discussion! I WANT YOU THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
I could see the hurt in her eyes. I knew I hurt her those many times. I remember one of those times, it was actually the last time I flirted another man or woman on purpose.
Joanne and I had gone to a club for a night out on the town. I don't remember the name, though. It was just before Valentine's Day, and we hadn't had a fight in several weeks. I really thought we were going to be happy for once. But I messed up. There was this waitress, in rubber, and she was… hot. She was beautiful, and Joanne had gone to the restroom, so I decided that I could have a little fun. I didn't even realize she had seen us until we were rehearsing on Valentine's Day. She kept saying stuff about Gray Communications, and that damn Christmas Eve riot. Then I mentioned her wanting to leave in a hurry that night, and she said 'YOU WERE FLIRTING WITH THE WOMAN IN RUBBER.'
Now that I look back on that night, she did want to leave pretty quickly after coming back from the restroom. Thankfully, Joanne allowed me to stay on her couch for tonight, while she took the bed. The apartment had a sort eerie chill to it. I felt empty and cold without the warm body of my love in arms
A few days later, I was moved back into the loft with Mark, Roger, and Mimi, who was still recovering from the night she almost died. The moment I saw Mimi walk into the room, I was bombarded of memories of that night.
It was Christmas Eve, and we had been searching the entire city for any sign of Mimi. Roger had returned from Santa Fe, and had joined us in the search. I don't really remember how we did it, but Joanne and I found her on a park bench. She looked ready to die right then and there, but surprisingly she held on until we got to the Loft. Even more surprising than that was that she survived.
After briefly telling Mark and Mimi (Roger never really cared about relationship talk) what happened, I quietly went to my room. It hadn't changed from the last time I was in there, which was just after our huge New Year's Breaking into the Building party. Joanne and I had gotten back together that night, and I was excited about my second chance. A few days later though, I came to check and see if everything Benny took had gotten back safe and sound. While there, I stopped by Mimi's place to say hello. Before I had a chance to knock on the door, I heard her singing. She and Roger had just fought, and she was depressed. I still remember some of the words to that song:
"Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play. The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you. The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die without you. Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the clouds move. Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash. The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry. Without you, the moon glows, the river flows, but I die without you."
A perfect description for my feelings: "I die without you…"