Hello everyone! This is a short one-shot about how Train realizes something that he'd always felt. I hope everyone enjoys.
::EDIT:: This is no longer a one-shot. And please note that I might NOT be updating often since I'm working on my primary story which is a Harry Potter/Naruto crossover.
Disclaimer: I do not own Black Cat. If I did, like many people here, I would have never let Saya die.
Connecting the Dots: Forever in Love
Chapter One: His Love
"Was she your lover?"
It was a question that Sven asked him after witnessing a violent encounter with Creed. And his answer went something along the lines of…
"Nah, nothing like that. It was more like I fell in love with her way of living."
It was true that he fell in love with it, but every single time he answered that specific question, Train began to -in a way- doubt his responses.
Falling in love with her lifestyle as he explained was the catalyst that freed him from a caged life, but as he swam in his memories Train became skeptic about his reason, his start - his golden key.
The way she lived her life was hypnotic, and addictive.
Throughout the time he spent with Minatsuki Saya, Train became jealous of her undeniably beautiful life. He thirsted for the way she lived, the way she happily danced through it all. She traveled from place to place without a care in the world; without an overbearing pressure following her free spirit. He, himself, wanted to walk down the streets, and embrace his freedom. Train wanted to bathe in whatever goodness Life had to offer to him, but he didn't - he couldn't; at least until after her death.
Train mentally kicked himself when his thoughts began to roll downhill. It was then he began to delve deeper into his memories, and he felt himself go into a daze; ignoring the conversation between Eve and Sven.
His first meeting with her irritated him, but she was interesting. With the way she carried herself as well as her all-too-happy behavior, Train couldn't help but observe her while she drank the remains of his milk.
Saya had moved with grace, and never faltered in her restrictive kimono outfit. He found that out when she instigated a race across town. Some time into their contest Train knew that Saya was an unchained woman, and it seemed that even the winds made an open path for her as she effortlessly ran past his form; an enchanting smile gracing her lips.
Faster and faster they ran, and the more Train began to feel his lips curving upwards – clearly influenced by Saya's infectious grin.
That small smile was his first taste of her life.
As their time spent together increased, Train had become completely enamored with her way of life. They smiled together, laughed together, and they shared almost everything together – their experiences, thoughts, goals, beliefs, as well as their fears.
At times when she was away on a hunt, Train felt his heart clench in something akin to loneliness. He felt empty without her constant presence. He did not know what that had meant back then, but now as Train stared out of the window of the car, he realized that he hadn't fallen in love with Saya's lifestyle.
It was understandable that he did not know what he was feeling then. Train didn't know the meaning of love nor did he know the feeling of love – loving another or being loved. All he knew was that Saya was his best friend. She was someone who guided him in his darkened world; she was someone who had become his most important person.
But now that he knew what love meant, and all things associated with it - Train closed his eyes in realization as well as feeling an immeasurable amount of sorrow.
He could see her lips setting into the ever familiar smile, and he could hear her laughter like wind chimes being blown in a gentle breeze.
I loved her…
I still love her.
That thought echoed endlessly in Train's conflicted mind. How could he have mistaken his love for her as loving her way of life? Unconsciously Train let out a shaky sigh. His recent discovery of his feelings tore him apart. As he dwelled on it, he thought of all the possibilities that could have happened.
He could have stopped his hand from twitching every time Saya's hand brushed his. They could have held hands or even hugged each other from time to time. And he could have stopped staring at her moist lips by kissing her.
After accepting his love for her, Train let out a choked sob. He hadn't meant for that to happen, but he missed her. The way she twirled as she showed off her new kimono and the way she downed a bottle of milk made Train wish he could go back in time to save her. In his numbed mind, Train could hear her voice again calling out his name.
He bolted up from his seat with his chest heaving and gasping for air. Train looked around. It was sundown, and the car was parked at the side of the road. It seemed that he had fallen asleep like usual. He was still in the car with Eve and Sven, but he now noticed the worried looks they were giving him.
"What's up guys? Did the car break down or something?" He tried to grin, but it came out as a grimace.
His traveling companions shared a look before Sven decided to answer, "Er… No, Train. There's nothing wrong with the car, but Eve and I wanted to know if you're okay."
Train gave them a confused stare, "Why would you think that?"
"You're crying Train," Eve's soft voice almost didn't reach his ears.
Train tentatively brought a slightly shaking hand to his cheek and felt the wet tears running down his face. He was crying, and it wasn't stopping.
I love her.
So... What do you guys think? This has actually been running around in my head for a while and I thought I'd just do it because I love Train and Saya! Hehe. And if you guys wanted to know where I got the idea from, check Vol. 7.