Summary: My version on how the battle at Orochimaru's hideout should've gone. What did Naruto promise Sai he'd do if Sasuke didn't come back? Why does Sasuke look like he wants to kill Sai, instead? And why is Sakura having a nosebleed? Read to find out!

Warning: Language, yaoi, minor limish scene (barely), blood loss via the nose, and authors rising from the dead.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.



The man on a mission stopped, skidding to a halt, and braced himself for an impact that his primal instincts knew was to come sooner than he did. Thick clumps of clay and clouds of dirt blew past him at deadly speeds caused by the explosion that was triggered not a second before. Orange-clad tan arms shielded his whiskered face from the onslaught while daring, blue eyes squinted into the storm to try and see the cause.

Once the dust settled, the boy sprang to life, darting out of the underground lair as fast as his namesake. The second the sun smacked him in the face, he recoiled, his pupils contracting from the sudden brightness after being in the cave so long. After a moment, his eye-sight returned. He lifted his head again and darted it around, looking for the cause of the explosion, or maybe even…

"Sasuke," it was spoken as a whisper, a wish, a prayer.

There, standing on the edge of a cliff, was the person he'd been searching for, for so long. Dark eyes peered at, no, through him. He could reach such depths looking into them, and yet see no guilt, no pain, and hardly any familiarity. His midnight locks swayed steadily away from the epicenter of the explosion. Pale, thin fingers wrapped around his hip, ever so slightly tapping them in barely restrained annoyance. From those fingers were large hands leading to muscular arms hidden under the white cloth of his top. An ample amount of chiseled, bare chest proudly showed itself from the open 'V'. His eyes stopped roaming his rival's body and narrowed when he saw the purple obi wrapped around him. The mark of the snake-bastard himself.

"Naruto." No emotion.

It stung. Speaking to him as though he meant nothing - was nothing. He was forced to step back at the sheer emotion wreaking havoc through him.

The presence of Sakura-chan and Sai barely registered with Naruto as he watched Sasuke. He watched him blink (though rarely). He watched his fingers bouncing on his hip bone (though slowly). Above all, he watched him breath, knowing he was alive (though coldly).

And he remembered that day. The day he should've stopped Sasuke, but failed him. Then the Uchiha had the nerve, the audacity not to kill him. He had his suspicions as to why, but he had to know, had to hear from the source.

"Why…? Why didn't you kill me then?" Naruto screamed at the seemingly immovable mass that was Sasuke. "Isn't that your way of breaking bonds? Sasuke!"

He hoped that Sasuke let him live because he wanted Naruto to chase him and bring him back. He was scared to stay and even more to leave. His hope was that Sasuke needed the blond to choose for him. And he would.

He hadn't yet decided if his course of action would depend on his answer or not. Whether he would still break all of Sasuke's bones and drag him back as a sack of flesh to Konoha regardless of him saying something that would break his heart. He wanted Sasuke to willingly come home, but didn't know if it was possible.

Pale lids slipped over empty eyes. "It's not that I didn't cut those bonds," a bored voice drawled, "I didn't want to give him the pleasure of seeing me obtain power by following his ways." His eyes opened once more, "I merely spared your life on a whim."

Naruto wanted to slam his hands over his ears. The whole time, Sasuke's voice never rose above his usual monotone and yet, it felt like he was screaming right next to him.

He didn't want to hear anymore.

And suddenly, faster than anyone's eyes could move, the black-haired man was in front of Naruto, one hand draped (or so it seemed) over his shoulder. In actuality, it was pressed forcefully down, nearly breaking his collarbone in the process.

Sakura quickly turned to the pair, "When did he-?" But, she was ignored.

As casual as could be, Sasuke began, "Come to think of it, isn't your dream to become Hokage? If you have the time to come chase after me, you should be training." Naruto suppressed a shiver while Sasuke's hot breath ran over his ear. "Isn't that right, Na-ru-to?"

Naruto didn't respond. How could he?

"That's why this time, at my whim," He paused to draw out Kusanagi, the blade drenching itself in the sunlight, "I'll..."

The blade was expertly swung down. As if not expecting Sasuke to take such measures, Sakura desperately called out Sasuke's name, hoping against hope it would bring her lost friend to his senses. Either of her friends really, as she noted that Naruto was making no attempt to move.

Before the blade struck, Sai snatched Sasuke's wrist in the air. Bored black eyes rolled to the side and met once emotionless black eyes in a heated gaze that seemed to last forever.

Sasuke pulled his wrist from the grip and held the sword by his side. "That was the correct way to block my attack." But before Sasuke could engage in what seemed to be a more promising battle, his near-clone's pale arm snuck around the blond's waist and dragged him to his hip.

"What the hell, Sai? Let me go!" Naruto wriggled and writhed in his teammates hold, but Sai held on firm.

"Keep moving like that," Sai paused as a groan erupted from his lips, "and I'll be hard pressed to wait 'til we get back to Konoha." He used his free hand to stroke Naruto's stomach, knuckles scratching on the zipper.

The blond stilled and looked down at the hand a bit frightened before he roared back to life, "Wait for WHAT?"

Yamato finally arrived out of the tunnel to see Sakura staring with deep confusion, but a slight blush on her face at a place just off to her left. There, he saw Naruto wrapped in Sai's arm being molested by said boy with the Uchiha a few feet from them scowling like there was no tomorrow.

"Don't tell me you forgot your promise?" Sai genuinely sounded hurt which surprised the temporary sensei.

Apparently taking a page from Gai's book, the Sasuke-look-alike twirled Naruto dramatically, secretly moving the man without him noticing until he could pin him to the nearest wall. The frail-looking boy had a pretty good grip on the tan wrists that he pushed against the rust-colored rock above the golden mop of hair in one hand.

Naruto barely registered the new and slightly compromising position because he had another thought on his mind, "What promise?"

Sakura finally gathered herself up again and stuttered out, "Y-yeah, wha-what promise, S-Sai?" She could barely contain herself as one of her many dreams was coming true. Her yaoi-fangirl overrode her Sasuke-fangirl.

Sai's free hand slid up the orange jacket of his captive, dragging the material up slightly and revealing a flash of tanned stomach, "Well, let me remind you, Na-ru-to." He purred by the flushed ear. Nimble fingers grasped onto the zipper of the coat and tugged it down. The clothing was roughly shoved off of its owner as a lecherous hand crawled under the black tank-top that lay underneath and caressed the toned flesh.

Whiskered cheeks heated up in embarrassment at being caught so off guard, his lower lip caught between his teeth to prevent him yelling out his frustration. He closed his eyes, trying, unsuccessfully, to hide from the people watching this awkward situation.

To everyone else watching, these actions held a completely different meaning. He looked to be blushing in pleasure, biting his lip to prevent moans from escaping and closing his eyes in ecstasy.

Sai smirked at the response. Giving a backward glance, his smirk widened at Sasuke's expression. Pure hatred. All directed toward him. He traveled his hand higher to circle the nipples he found there and see what other reactions he'd get from Sasuke. He didn't expect his prey to mewl out, though and he turned again to look at him only to see Naruto turn his head to try and hide his face. All he succeeded in doing was revealing his neck to him. He heard Sasuke growl behind him when he dipped his head to take that flesh into his mouth.

"You promised, if Sasuke wouldn't come back with us," his lips dragged up the slim neck, nibbling just behind the ear he spoke into, earning him a low moan that just barely escaped the clenched teeth. That poor lip. "You promised…" He trailed off, licking the shell of the ear.

"What? What?" Sakura could barely contain herself. She didn't notice Sasuke shooting her a deadly glare or Yamato sighing and sliding his palm down his face at the lack of seriousness in this event. Hell, she didn't even notice when Orochimaru and Kabuto showed up, watching the scene from the edge of the crater.

Sai whispered softly, yet loud enough for everyone to hear, "We'd have sex." At that, Sai tore the shirt off of the blonde, revealing the gorgeous, flat stomach of the man to all.

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a - "SQUEEEEEEE~!" -Fangirl scream, apparently. "Naruto, you're so bold!" Sakura was sure her face would explode; she knew she was blushing that hard, if the heavy stream of blood rushing down her face from her nose was any indication.

Yamato tried to get control of the situation, "Uh, Sai…" 'Is this really how you want to die?' He thought.

"Are you kidding me, I'd never make a promise like that!" Naruto growled, once again thrashing against the insolent man who held him. He bucked his hips and accidentally canted them into Sai's causing the man to let out a long moan. They vaguely heard Sakura's cheer over the deafening silence between the two.

After calming himself, Sai looked down into Naruto's deep, blue eyes and said tenderly, "Naruto, isn't it your ninja way never to back out of a promise? Are you a quitter, dickless?" The last part was spoken with a grin and said so quietly, no one but Naruto heard it. It definitely struck a chord.

"I'll have sex with you! And it'll be the best damn sex you ever had, Dattebayo~!" Naruto declared, defending his honor, or so he thought.

"Na. Ru. To." The blond heard the growl coming from somewhere behind Sai.

"Oh, Sasuke, you're still here? I thought you'd be getting ass-raped by Orochimaru by now." Sai tossed back, smirking.

When Sai moved far enough, Naruto was able to finally see Sasuke and he almost wished he hadn't. Visible killing-intent was radiating from him and it looked like his cursed seal would activate at any moment. He assumed the anger was caused by Sai's comment about Orochimaru, but…

"Get your hands off my dobe." His voice, again, didn't rise past normal range, but it sounded like a roar.

It seemed as though Sasuke's replacement had an iron will (or a death wish) as he continued to taunt Sasuke. "Your dobe? Didn't you hear the bet? You didn't come back to Konoha with us, so he won't be yours for much longer." He never stopped staring hungrily down at Naruto. "Don't worry, I know you like Sasuke, so you can just pretend I'm him while we do it. I won't mind. Even if you call out his name when you c-"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Naruto stomped on Sai's foot after each 'up', blushing to the roots of his hair. "Pervert. Keep your mouth shut." He could feel his captor's grip loosen and he bolted when he could. Then he turned to look at Sasuke to gage how he responded.

His eyes were shadowed by his bangs, but a large smirk had formed on his face. "Kukuku…" Pale shoulders shook as the dark cackle left him. "Orochimaru." He addressed his sensei that no one realized was present.

"Hai, Sasuke." The snake master expected Sasuke to request permission to kill his old friends, but was thrown for a loop.

"I'm leaving."

No one reacted at first, soaking in the statement with as much ease as a steel block. It wasn't until Sasuke disappeared that they noticed that Naruto was missing too. They looked around, searching for their missing counterparts.

A loud squeal emitted from team Kakashi's radios, like a button got jammed.

"Sa-ha-AH-suke! Wait." A voice panted harshly that sounded like Naruto.

There was some rustling, more panting, "What?" This was said strictly by a cold voice, likely Sasuke.

"Can't this at least wait 'til we get back to Konoha?" Naruto pleaded.

Sasuke scoffed, the sound of a zipper and a long moan followed it. "But, Naruto, it doesn't feel like you want to wait." All the people on the other end of the radio blushed beat red except Sai, who smirked at the success of his plan.

"But Saaasukeee," the blond whined.

After a short exhale of breath there was a soft, "Fine," the rustling of clothes and then the button must have un-jammed itself as communication was cut off.

"Well," Sai began, "mission accomplished, let's get back before things really start getting interesting." He slyly said, rubbing his palms together and taking off into the distance, Sakura not far behind and Yamato going as slowly as he could.

"Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto looked up at his master.

"My body." Little anime tears fell in rivers.


Stavi: Soooo, yeah… I'm still alive! What a way to find out. I realize it's sorta been 2 years since I've updated anything, but I don't want to give up quite yet.

Anyway! I've missed my editor's birthday twice now, so I double dedicate this to her, for her birthday!

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday dear, MayIFall!


I also want to dedicate this to all the people who've stuck by me, and patiently waited for me to post things. I LOVE YOU~!

By the way. I hate. Hate. HATE. the document loader on this site. It won't let me have exclamation points with question marks.