**OK, I'm jumping on the bandwagon of Arthur being a pirate and kidnapping peoples. Only, I'm also jumping on the FrUk bandwagon as well – so Francis turns into Francine for this story (I now, very original name.) To make Pirate! Arthur and Fem!Francis.

Oh dear. Well, this story already speaks for itself. Read and enjoy while I write this up :) **

"Aw, screw this! We're gonna do what again!"

"Get your arse down here and you might hear me better you git!"

The pirates upon Pirate Arthur Kirkland's boat were surprised to hear their captain's latest orders – get the ship ready for England. Because...

"We're going to kidnap a young lady!" Arthur held his bottle of whiskey high, "And only return her for money!"

"Heck yeah!" Alfred punched the air, "Kidnapping women! What fun!"

"Very fun." Arthur agreed.

"Question." Ivan raised his hand, "So, we are going to kidnap lady and get money if we return her, da?"


"But what if it is stick up?"

"Then we escape the only way we can!" Arthur laughed, "Distractions!"

The rest of the crew howled in agreement, high fiving each other as they set sail for the island nation that Arthur said to go.

"Why, madam! You are so lovely tonight!"

"Thank you."


Said woman turned to her brother, "Matthew."

Matthew nodded, "C'mon, we've gotta go."

"Oh, but why?" an elderly woman asked, "We just started dancing."

Matthew wrapped an arm around his sister, eyeing a man across the room that was glaring back, "Mama wants us back as soon as possible." He lied, knowing that his mother wanted Francine married and out of the house within the next month.

"Yes, yes she does." Francine nodded and smiled at the elderly woman, "Goodbye."


The two quickly made their way to the exit, nodding and saying good byes to anyone that talked to them.

"Matthew." Francine whispered, "Couldn't we have least stayed a few more minutes?"

"Why?" Matthew stopped, "You know that idiot over there is going to bug you until he gets to dance with you. I don't like him."

"Well, neither do I, but I'm sure that –"

"Excuse me?"

The siblings turned around, the man that was staring at them a few minutes ago right behind them, "Hello, sir. Good evening, madam."

"Good evening." The two replied.

The man gave a cocky smile, "Y'know, I was wondering..." he held his hand out to Francine, "Would you mind to have a dance?"

Francine batted her eyes at the man, "I would love to, but I'm in a hurry to get home."

"Yes, we are." Matthew agreed, "Sorry sir."

The man looked at the two like they were criminals, before sighing and turning away – eyeing Francine one last time before disappearing into the crowd.

"Told you I don't like him." Matthew leaned down and whispered, "We're leaving as soon as possible."

"Right now." Francine agreed, pulling Matthew along behind her as they made way to the door.

Leaving a party without saying good-bye to the host was rude. Both French siblings knew that. But they didn't want anymore of this fancy madness, they wanted to go home and beg their Mama to let them go back to France. Matthew was old enough for work, and Francine could find a man to marry there.

As the siblings left the huge building that the party was hosted in, they avoided horse-drawn carriages to make it to the other side of the street.

"Francine." Matthew said, "Do you think that we could sneak onto a traveling carriage? Go to a port far away from here and sail back to France from there?"

"Nonsense." Francine spat. "You know that sneaking a woman onto a carriage like that would bring up authorities!"

"Well, so is making someone marry so that way you can have one less mouth to feed!"

"We can deal with it."

"Then, why don't we sneak onto a ship?"

"When? There aren't any ships going to France as far as I can tell."

Matthew stopped his sister, watching a carriage go by before leading her across, "We can wait. If there is one leaving during this month, then we shall go. If not, well sneak onto another boat and go from there."

Francine stopped, "All this talk of running away, it makes me want to run away tonight!"

"No, Francine." Matthew pulled Francine along, "Besides, we have some time to explore that area we wanted to go to before Mama expects us home."

"Oh, really? I forgot all about it." Francine said, quickly walking to keep up with Matthew's steps.

They landed at port not to long after Arthur had set sail for England. It was dark, making it easier to go ahead and explore a little before running back for the day.

"Bring down the Jolly Roger!" Arthur called.

"Yessir!" Alfred replied, going to do his job.

Ivan started to set out the ramp, while the other crewmembers quickly tucked in the sails and other things to disguise the pirate ship.

"We need to restock." Arthur said, his Spanish crewmember writing something down on parchment, "We need more rum, if you can find any, Ivan needs another pipe, and Roderich needs some new glasses – oh, so does Alfred – and get the usual food supplies. Don't forget that Feliciano needs his pasta, and make sure Ludwig gets another... what is it called?"

The Spanish man looked up, "Another what sir?"

"Ah yes! I remember now!" Arthur looked up, "Ludwig! Get your arse down here!"

The German looked down, raising his eyebrows before sliding down the ropes and facing his captain. "Yes, sir?"

"Didn't you say that you needed another gun?"

"Yes I did."

"Put that down, Antonio."

"Yes sir."

Arthur turned to the ramp that led off the boat, "And one more thing..."

He turned around, holding his arms out to everyone on board, "We need our lass!"

The other men cheered, then continued their job as quickly as possible.

"Over there." Matthew pointed at the dock, "That looks like a good port to sail from."

"But we are so far from it." Francine replied, "Our house, I mean. We'd have to wake up long before the maids do just to make it."

"But it'll be worth it in the end, Francine."

"What if we don't make it to France, Matthew?"

"Then we'll make do with wherever we end up."

Francine admired the boat that had people running around on it, "Say, does the dock accept people to board there during the night?"

Matthew shrugged, "Not that I know of." He pulled his sister back, "But let's not get in their way, let's go and see what's over there."

Meanwhile, Arthur had sent out Ivan and Ludwig to look around the town, the men eyeing everything in their way.

"It is very dark here, no?"

"Very dark here. Perfect for kidnapping a lady."

"Why did Captain want to kidnap a woman anyway?"

"Because, maybe it's just a whim." Ludwig peeked inside a box that was sitting on the dock, "There are carrots in here."

"I take to ship, da?"

"Take it back, hurry." Ludwig lifted the box and handed it to Ivan, who swiftly made way back to the ship with their first bit of loot.

Ludwig continued on, peeking around corners and looking in boxes. Barrels, he found, had some water and other liquids in them – that included rum.

"I am back." Ivan announced, running over to the German.

"Good. We need to take these barrels." Ludwig ran his hand on the side of one, "Get some people from the ship to help you. I'm gonna go look around the area."

"Da." Ivan ran back to the ship.

"It's very late." Matthew said, "We must go home."

"But, why? We can lie to Mama and say I got held back by a man."

"She'd ask questions that we would need to come up with answers on the spot, like his name and face. You know how'd excited she'd get."

"Then we can say we got caught in conversation with someone!" Francine pulled her brother towards another street – very dark. "I don't want to go just yet."

"I don't think she'd believe that..."

"Whatever!" Francine cawed, "Let's just go this way."

Arthur and his crew had just finished stealing from stores and the dock before the sun rose. Ludwig had found the centre of the town – where everything that the captain said they needed was right behind a glass window. Easily broken into.

One last thing they needed: the woman that Arthur wanted to kidnap.

"How will the family know that she's been taken?" Feliciano asked, pulling at the sleeve of Ludwig.

"We'll leave a note or something to fly through the streets." Arthur replied, realizing that he hadn't thought that part of the idea out.

"Were you drunk when you came up with this idea?" Alfred asked.

"Yes." Arthur rubbed his forehead. "Screw this! We're gonna take a lass and never return her!"

"Great!" came the roaring reply.

Arthur left the boat again, walking towards the streets. He admired how dark it still was; even though he was sure it was morning.

"Matthew, wait for me." he heard.

He smiled, the lass he wanted was right around the corner.

"Hurry up. Mama will make sure to –" Matthew stopped walking, making Francine run into his back.

"What is it?" she hissed.

"Shh!" Matthew replied, looking ahead. "I thought I saw someone."

The two were silent, looking around, trying to see someone or something in the dark. Matthew was shaking, Francine held him close.

When Francine let Matthew go, just to step forward some and try to see further down the alleyway, he was grabbed by someone – mouth covered before he could scream – and pulled back behind some crates and dragged away. He fought against whoever it was that was dragging him, trying to bite the fingers.

When he did, the hands let him go with a "Shit fuck!"

Matthew fell to the ground, looking up at the man who had almost kidnapped him. He was blonde, an annoying cowlick sticking up, and glasses in front of blue eyes. He laughed when he saw Matthew staring at him, "You'd make a nice crewmember."

"Huh?" Matthew asked, before he was picked up and slung over the man's shoulder, "Hey! What are you doing?"

Meanwhile, Francine realized her brother was gone.

"Mathieu?" She asked to no one in particular. "Matthew? Where'd you go?" Francine picked up her dress, carefully stepping over some puddles while looking for her brother.

Arthur watched from the shadows, this woman whose dress was white. Her hair – supposedly held up in some sort of bun – was loose and hanging down from her head, the remnants of the bun still showing. What the pirate admired most, though, was that he could see her blue eyes reflecting what little light was in the alleyway. He bit his lip, seeing the top of the dress close to revealing her shoulders.

The captain smirked before stepping forward, seeing his unknowing prey right in front of him.

He clapped a hand over her mouth, earning a scared – yet muffled – shriek. "Shh." He leaned in her ear and whispered, "Do as I say, you won't get hurt, pretty lass." With an airy chuckle, Arthur dragged the woman as she struggled against him.

Francine knew that whoever this was probably killed Matthew. She wanted to make sure of this – but with whomever this was holding her and carrying her like she was a pig she couldn't.

She tried to bite the hand, but her teeth only grazed the skin.

"Ah, ah, ah." He said, "Don't bite. It'll only end in pain."

Francine cried and yelled against the skin.

"Don't bother. You're coming with me." she saw the boat from earlier, men running around on it and laughing as they saw their captain approach, "And you're going to stay with me until I feel that you need to be let go."

As Arthur boarded the boat, the crew members all cheered and held their arms up in victory.

"Hey, Artie!" Alfred cried, appearing with a man slung over his shoulder, "I got us another crew member!"

"You did not! Put me down." Alfred's prisoner yelled, punching his back.

"HmmHmm!" the woman tried to say.

"Why do we need another member?" Arthur asked.

"Because." Alfred grinned, "I'm sick of washing the deck every week."

The other pirates aboard agreed. Arthur sighed and held the woman tighter, "All right! We got what we need! Let's go!"

That was when all the men scurried off, while Francine was dragged away.

"What are you –" Matthew argued, his kidnapper carrying him after the other man – who had Francine, he thought.

"Hey, pipe down!" Alfred said, "I'm Alfred Jones. You are?"

"Why would I care to know your name?" Matthew spat.

"Because you aren't gonna be comin' home soon." Alfred replied, splitting away from Arthur's path. "So, tell me who you are."

"I'm French! Will that release me?" Matthew kicked against Alfred, "I'm French! I'm gonna be useless!"

"Oh, sure. You can cook for us." Alfred threw Matthew down on a cot, the French man seeing that they were under the main deck. "So, tell me your name."

Matthew looked at Alfred, smirk on his face, "I'm Mister Smart Ass. You are... Alfred, right?"

Alfred laughed, then grabbed Matthew's throat, "Tell me your real name, Smart ass."


"Matthew... Matthew... how original." Alfred chuckled, "Well, you look mighty fine for cooking, Matthew."

"You bastard! What are you doing with me!" Francine's freedom of speech was returned as the Captain pushed her into a room.

"I'm keeping you here. I won't make you work, because –" Arthur stepped forward, grabbing Francine's chin, "I wouldn't want that pretty face to be ruined."

"I wouldn't work anyway!" Francine slapped the hand away.

"Oh, really? Would you rather fall for the great Pirate Arthur Kirkland?" Arthur asked, getting in her face. "By the way... you haven't told me your name..."

"It's Not Telling." Francine replied.

"Smart lass, aren't you?" Arthur grinned, "Well, then, who was that man that Alfred had?"

"My brother." Francine looked around the small room, seeing nothing but a bed and a bowl next to it. Probably something that these men went in.

"Ah, explains why you cried." Arthur pushed Francine onto the bed, pinning her down before she could get up, "And maybe if I go talk to him he'd tell me your name?"

"He'd never!" Francine tried to kick the Pirate on top of her, "Release me!"

"That's not how it works, my lady." Arthur sneered, "First of all, let me make some rules for you. You must refer to me as Arthur, no exceptions."

"How's about Captain Ass?" Francine asked.

Arthur slapped her, almost cringing at how much he loved slapping her and hearing her grunt of pain. "Let me finish! When I am talking you must wait until I ask if you have any questions. If you smart off at me I will surely hurt you, and you must do as I say! Understand me?"

Francine nodded, still cringing from where Arthur had slapped her.

"Now." Arthur released her, letting her slide off the bed and onto the floor, "I will go and ask your brother your name. And this is where you will sleep. Good night." He left the room, leaving Francine on the floor.

"I thought..." she bit her lip, "...you don't kidnap women and them just leave them there in a cold room, do you?"

Francine stood up, falling onto the bed and feeling for covers. Finding them, she pulled them over her body and lay on her side.

Twice she closed her eyes, seeing Arthur's expression as she did. Yanking them open, Francine shuddered at the sight of that pirate. She tried to sleep, but everytime she did; Arthur would come and invade her slumber.

Matthew was currently pinned down by Alfred, who was grinning at him insanely. "You're good looking. I'm surprised no one's gotten you yet."

"Uh... thanks?" Matthew asked.

Arthur pushed open the door, "Alfred."

"Yes Artie!" Alfred sat up, Matthew still below him.

"This is that lady's brother, right?"

"Yep, name's Matthew."

"Matthew." Arthur walked closer, ignoring the fact that Alfred was still on top of Matthew, "Would you mind telling me your sister's name?"

Matthew looked at Alfred, who gave him a face – Tell us or I will choke you.

"F-Francine." Matthew replied.

"Francine? How nice... she surely doesn't act like a Francine."

"We've been through a lot." Matthew said, "P-please don't kill us!"

"Why would I? I think that Francine would do me some good." Arthur turned around, "As far as I can tell, Alfred likes you."

Said man looked down, "Shut up Artie."

The Captain laughed, pulling the door closed behind him as he left.

Alfred proceeded to lean down and press his lips to Matthew's cheek, "He's not lying." He whispered.

"Maple." Matthew whispered.

**Da da da daaaaaa! We have ourselves a starting of another story that I may not work on until I get finished with Australia! So... here ya go, something for your eyes. Let them burn at my fail of being original about this idea. I have no idea where this is gonna go though... so... dance around, flames will be burned with green fire and murdered with a hockey stick.**