A/N: Aaaahh, I've missed writing Torchwood MSN! I updated my other two fics today as well, what an achievement! :') Thank you for all the lovely reviews :3 Sorry, this chapter is probably full of errors and spelling mistakes, but I have no way to spell check :') Also, I know I've already done a chapter involving fireworks, but I couldn't resist! x

-I eat Monsters for breakfast has entered the conversation-

I eat monsters for breakfast says- BIG C! I WANT A WORD!

-BIG C, INNIT has entered the conversation-

BIG C, INNIT says- yeah bruv?

I eat monsters for breakfast says- So I'm sitting in the hub

BIG C, INNIT says- yeh...

I eat monsters for breakfast says- At two o'clock in the morning...

BIG C,INNIT says- Yeh...

I eat monsters for breakfast says- And there's a knock at the door...

BIG C,INNIT says- L0ok, offence or anyting Jack, but iz dis storie goin' N-E-where? Cuz Big C's got a date wid his homies and-

I eat monsters for breakfast says- WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ORDER FORTY CRATES OF FIREWORKS? AND MORE TO THE POINT, WHY WHERE THEY DELIVERED TO TORCHWOOD AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING?

BIG C,INNIT says- Oh, were we not meant 2 tell n-e-one bout Torchwood? U mite want 2 get on da fone nd cancel da pool parti I organised here den-

-BAM. has entered the conversation-

-Timey Wimey Lord has entered the conversation-

-Tech Wiz has entered the conversation-

BAM. says- Oooh, fireworks! :D I KNOW! I CAN TAKE ON TO MARTHA'S HOUSE AND-

Timey Wimey Lord says- NO.

BAM. says- D:

Tech Wiz says- Why have you ordered fireworks Big C?

BIG C,INNIT says- erm... for Ben's birthday?

Tech Wiz says- His birthday isn't due for a month.

BAM. says- lol man, you're the worst father ever!

BIG C,INNIT says- Okai... dey're 4 da triplet's birthdai?

Timey Wimey Lord says- Two months ago. You bought them that bubble blower, you stuck your head in the machine and couldn't get it out, remember?

BIG C,INNIT says- ...no...

-Coffee King has entered the conversation-

-Trust me, I'm an Improviser has entered the conversation-

Coffee King says- Why do you want fireworks anyway?

BIG C, INNIT says- itz alwayz been a big dream of mine 2 make ma veri own firework dizplay...

Coffee King says- ...

Trust me, I'm an Improviser says- ...Since when! Last time I checked you bloody hated the things!

BIG C,INNIT says - When I woz a child, me and ma weevil m8s snuck up on firework night 2 watch a dizplay... I fell in luv wid da lights and da colours, i luved da way dey swirled thru da sky. nd Dat woz when I new... dat I woz determined to be sum1.

BAM. says- Awwww, well wasn't that just the MOST BULLSHIT SENTENCE I'VE EVER READ IN MY LIFE?

Coffee King says- Remember when we wanted to watch that firework display? Remember you told us the tragic story of the firework in your arse?

BIG C,INNIT says- I no, i no, but da more I think about it, da more I wanna conqre ma fears! And plus, I luv explosions, nd fireworks sorta explode, so it wood be gr8!

-Gwen has entered the conversation-

Gwen says- Yeah guys, I think we should put on a firework display! :D We could even sing the Katy Perry Song!

You just gotta ignittteeeeee the liigghhhhttt

anddd lleeeetttt itt shinnneeee

cause ooon the nightttt

like the foouurrttthhhh of July!

I eat monsters for breakfast says- Oh dear god.

-Mr Octagon has entered the conversation-

Timey Wimey Lord says- Wait, what-

Mr Octagon says-

CAUSE TORCHWOOD I'VE GOT FIIIIIREWORKS!

BEING BLOWN UP IS WHAT YOUUUUU DESERVE!

I'LL MAKE YOU ALL CRY, CRY, CRY!

AS I SLOWLY MAKE YOU DIE, DIE, DIE!-

Timey Wimey Lord says- ...

Coffee King says- ...

Tech Wiz says- ...

BAM. says- ...Not that I didn't love you're version and all, but I don't think they were quite the right words...

Mr Octagon says- MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!

-Mr Octagon has left the conversation-

Trust Me, I'm an Improviser says- ...well. That was concerning.

BIG C,INNIT says- ...so, what'do'ya guyz say? :D

-Mr Octagon has entered the conversation-

-Cyberman has entered the conversation-

-Billis has entered the conversation-

-Rassilon has entered the conversation-

Mr Octagon says- Attention lackies! I have stolen Torchwood's fireworks!

Rassilon says- Brilliant your evilness!

Cyberman says- Fantastic Sir!

Billis says- Good job Sir!

Mr Octagon says- You know, sometimes I get the feeling you only say those sort of things to avoid my wrath.

Billis says- Never Sir!

Cyberman says- Of course not sir!

Rassilon says- No way Sir!

Mr Octagon says- Well in that case.. I'm thinking of feeding one of you to the sharks.

Rassilon says- ... *gulps* brilliant idea Sir!

Cyberman says- Superb plan my lord!

Billis says- Couldn't think of a better plan myself!

Mr Octagon says- ...fools. So, here is the rest of the plan. We walk into the torchwood base. But first, we hide the fireworks in our underwear.

Rassilon says- ...Why our underwear my lord?

Mr Octagon says- So they don't see the fireworks and don't suspect anything of course!

Cyberman says- But... I'm a cyberman... I don't wear underwear D:

Mr Octagon says- Well then we shall buy you some underwear, THEN you hide the fireworks in there, and nobody will be any the wiser! For gods sakes, must I think for all of you?

Billis says- Then what, most evil one? :D

Mr Octagon says- We light them of course! The force of so many fireworks will destroy the hub!

Billis says- ...Sir?

Mr Octagon says- Yes Billy?

Billis says- Billis.

Mr Octagon says- Who's Billis?

Billis says- ...no one my lord. Anyway, will the, ah, fireworks still be in our underwear while we light them?

Mr Octagon says- Why of course they will, you stupid man!

Rassilon says- Won't that... um... hurt a bit?

Mr Octagon says- Ah, but you see this is the beauty of it... we'll make sure the underwear we put on... IS FIREWORK-PROOF!

Cyberman says- You're a genius Sir!

Rassilon says- Wish I'd thought of that...

Billis says- GO TEAM- ...Wait, what's our team name again?

Mr Octagon says- ...GO TEAM FIREPANTS!

CoffeeKing says- Big C, I thought you said you put the fireworks in Jack's office?

BIG C, INNIT says- I swear it guyz, i put dem in dere!

-Cyberman has entered the conversation-

-Mr Octagon has entered the conversation-

-Billis has entered teh conversation-

-Rassilon has entered the conversation-

Mr Octagon says- MWHAHAHAHAHAH!

I eat monsters for breakfast says- Erm... Cyberman?

Cyberman says- Yes Jack?

Billis says- *coughs*

Cyberman says- Oh, I mean... yes, foolish human?

I eat monsters for breakfast says- ...Why are you wearing underwear?

Cyberman says- Because... erm... because they're comfy?

Gwen says- ...Oh, well that's okay then :D

Trust Me, I'm an Improviser says- /facepalms

Mr Octagon says- If you must know, we are here... TO SET FIRE TO THE HUB WITH YOUR OWN FIREWORKS!

BIG C,INNIT says- w8... where r da fireworks?

Mr Octagon says- LOCATED IN OUR PANTS! BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING, DID YOU TORCHWOOD? MWAAHHHAHAHAHAHA!

Timey Wimey Lord says- ...I can honestly say, I did not see that coming -_-

BAM. says- Yeah, the bulge in your underwear wasn't a big give away in the slightest.

BIG C,INNIT says- ...oh. I thought they were, ya no, just pleased to see me...

Trust Me, I'm an Improviser says- .../facepalms again.

Mr Octagon says- YOU WILL NOW ALL DIE IN 3! 2! 1! ...

Tech Wiz says- ...

Mr Octagon says- Oh, well, um, this is awkward... they're not lighting. Does anyone have a lighter?

Gwen says- Oooh, come with me, I'll get you one.

Mr Octagon says- Oh, why thank you!

-Mr Octagon has left the conversation-

-Gwen has left the conversation-

Cyberman says- so... weather's good.

Tech Wiz says- yup... I thought it would rain, looking at the weather report and stuff.

Rassilon says- Yeah, I thought that too.

Coffee King says -Um... anyone fancy a coffee?

Billis says- Ooh yes, black please.

I eat monsters for breakfast says- Black coffee's the best.

Rassilon says- Oh I don't know, I'm more of a tea person myself.

Trust me, I'm an Improviser says- I don't like that herbal tea stuff though.

Rassilon says- Oh I completely agree.

-Gwen has entered the conversation-

-Mr Octagon has entered the conversation-

Mr Octagon says- Why thank you my dear! Where were we? Oh yeah, GOODBYE TORCHWOOD! 1-2-3-

-Cyberman has left the conversation-

Billis says- OH MY GOD, WHERE DID CYBERMAN GO?

Tech Wiz says- HE JUST SHOT RIGHT THROUGH THE BLOODY ROOF!

Mr Octagon says- OH FOR GODS SAKES, HOW MANY TIMES DID I GO THROUGH THIS WITH HIM? WE GO AFTER THREE, NOT ON THREE! THE STUPID FOOL!

-Mr Octagon has left the conversation-

Billis says- ...

Rassilon says- ...

Billis says- Well...

Rassilon says- um...

Billis says- Bye.

-Billis has left the conversation-

-Rassilon has left the conversation-

BAM. says- Well, that was-

Timey Wimey Lord says- ...disturbing.

BIG C,INNIT says- so... can we do f1reworks now guyz? :D

I eat monsters for breakfast says- No.

BIG C,INNIT says- Ur rite. mayb itz 4 da best...

-Cyberman has entered the conversation-

Cyberman says- go...team... firepants...

-Cyberman has left the conversation-

A/N: Review, as it's been a while? ;D Also, if you have any requests for stuff to happen in future chapters, just leave your ideas in a review :) x