Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal minds and no copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: This is the result of a challenge that mablereid's muse Adele sent to my muse Fran to write a story on the team attending a sexual harassment seminar, and Fran, being one who doesn't like to turn down a challenge, came up with this. I hope you enjoy it.
You're going to be late, Reid told himself as he dashed down the hallway, holding a Starbuck's coffee, towards the lecture theater and the mandatory seminar on Sexual Conduct in the Workplace that was being held there. He could hear the clicking of heels behind him, another latecomer, he thought. He pulled open the door to the theater just as Section Chief Strauss reached it.
"Good morning Dr. Reid," she said.
"Good morning ma'am," Reid replied as he held the door open, "after you ma'am."
"Looks like a rather full house," she said as they stood looking down on the crowded lecture hall.
Reid spied Garcia waving him over. Thank God they'd saved a seat for him. "There's my team, excuse me ma'am," he said as he gently brushed past her.
You're excused, she thought as her senses were aroused by the scent of his aftershave, mingled with the aroma of the coffee he held in his hand. She procrastinated on looking for a seat to watch Dr. Reid's rather nicely sculptured bottom as he scurried down the stairs to join his team in the fourth row.
"What took you so long man," Morgan asked as Garcia moved one seat closer to him to give Reid the aisle seat.
"Long line at Starbucks," he held up his cup. "I was about to leave but…"
"You and your coffee," the other six said as one.
"What's Strauss doin' here?" Morgan asked. "She's got about as much chance of being sexually harassed as Reid."
"Don't listen to him sweetcheeks," Garcia took his chin in her hand. "I'd sexually harass you any day."
"Thanks Garcia, I think." Reid said shaking his head.
The conductor of the seminar, who stood at the front of the room, seemed to glare at them, then called the room to attention and introduced herself to the assembled group as Tammy Mashito, a specialist in sexual conduct law. She informed them that 42% of women and 15% of men suffer some form of sexual harassment on the job and that 95% of these cases go unreported.
"I could have told you that," Reid whispered to the rest of his team causing a collective, "Shh."
"When deciding what constitutes sexual misconduct, we go by what we call the 'reasonable person standard.' Are you or one of your coworkers doing what the reasonable person would consider sexual misconduct? Does the action cause the coworker to feel humiliation, loss of dignity, psychological damage or damage to his or her professional reputation?"
"What are examples of sexual misconduct in the workplace, other than the blatantly obvious, of course?" She appeared to stare at Reid and Garcia.
"I never did anything," Reid whispered.
"Believe me kid, we know," Morgan replied, earning them another stare from the lecturer.
"Such things as calling women baby, honey, mama and dear are totally unprofessional." Morgan slunk a little in his seat while Rossi heaved a sigh of relief, at least she didn't say kitten. I wonder how she feels about sweetcheeks and baby cakes, Reid thought
"Excessive, uninvited touching is another example of misconduct." Garcia began to slink as well. Define excessive. "Staring at body parts particularly breasts, crotches and bottoms should not be tolerated in a professional environment. Erin Strauss raised her hand to shade her eyes, hoping they weren't giving her away.
"Questions about a co-worker's marital, dating or sexual life is totally off limits." JJ and Emily sunk down with Morgan and Garcia. Well, except for JJ and Morgan, none of us even has a dating or sexual life, Emily thought.
Ms. Mashito ended the lecture by laying out the options for anyone who felt there was sexual misconduct going on in their workplace and the legal actions that could be taken against the employer and the action that the employer should take against the offending party.
People started to get up from their seats and return to their work. "Okay," Garcia said, "she never mentioned babycakes, sweetcheeks, stud or angelfish."
"She never mentioned baby girl, only baby," Morgan clarified.
"And goddess," Garcia waved a hand over herself, "that just goes without saying." Everyone nodded.
"And if we have any questions about Morgan's sex life, we just have to ask the girls in clerical," JJ said and everyone again nodded in agreement. "And mine, well that goes without saying."
"And nobody else has one," Reid added.
"Speak for yourself kid," Rossi interjected.
"And everyone knows I don't know the meaning of excessive," Garcia said. "So, she looked at the group, I think we're good."
They nodded and everyone turned to look at Hotch who'd remained silent through the whole exchange. "If I promise not to call you honey," Garcia pleaded.
"Okay, we're good, now let's get to work."