All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I don't own anything.
SUMMARY: One night of Bella sleeping in Edward's arms and him watching her sleep. Explore Edward's thoughts and mind as he watched the love of life dream peacefully in his arms.
Edward's Point of View
With one last sigh escaping her lush, full lips, Bella slipped into her peaceful sleep. For a second, all I could feel the amazing warmth emitting off her in waves, and I basked in the pleasure of it. My throat burned painlessly as I breathed in slowly through my nose, her luscious fragrance swirling throughout her small, cluttered room and lapping at me in gentle waves as I inhaled deeply, luxuriating in her essence.
I smiled softly, listening to her heartbeats, feeling as if each pulse from her was seeping from her glowing, shining soul right into my lifeless, frozen heart. It felt as if my very existence relied on her heartbeats. There was no other sound in the world that could compare to it. Nothing else in the world was more beautiful and more innocent than my Bella's pulses, unless it be Bella herself.
What could be more peaceful than having the most perfect, beautiful woman in the world in my arms, relaxed and safe in her secret dreams? I pulled her slightly closer, hating every inch of gap between us. Oh, how I wanted to get closer to her, get so close that she would cry out from it…
But no. Even now, as I made sure my movements were light and gentle enough for my fragile Bella, my hard skin shone with monstrous strength, my coldness raising goosebumps on her skin. I wished, more than anything in the world, to be human, so that I could be with my love the way I ached to be. But no—Fate had cursed me with never-ending life, so that I could feel my Bella but never be satisfied.
For the thousandth time, I wondered what she saw in me to love me so much. I was an inhuman, evil abomination; a creature whose very existence went against nature. And yet, this delicate beautiful angel in my arms chose to gift me with her selfless love, choose me to pour all her trust and devotion to. Isabella Swan was the ultimate symbol of goodness: trusting, loving, devoted, pure, honest and perfect. She was enchantingly beautiful, heartbreakingly innocent—she was my complete opposite. What did she see in me to bless me with her love?
"I love you, Edward…" Bella sighed in her sleep.
My fingers trembled slightly as I felt wave after wave of pure bliss swim around me. Even while unconscious, she was declaring her love to me.
She was giving me everything I could ever have wanted: she gave me the blessing of having silence after being rocketed by the trivial thoughts of hundreds of humans in my mind all day; she gave me a reason to live and a soul to treasure and worship; she gave me new meaning to life and love and showed me the dazzling colors of true love. Bella was beauty itself—and she was completely oblivious to her attraction. That only made her more irresistible, as if that were possible.
"I miss rainbows…" Bella murmured softly. She rolled over, burying her face in my chest.
I chuckled silently; she was so endearing! And then my smile faded. Rainbows—that meant sunlight. I could never experience the magic of a rainbow beside her; my inhuman sparkles in the face of sunshine would tear me from her side.
There were so many things I couldn't do with her, do for her. For one, I couldn't give her a normal human life of unremarkable events. I couldn't give her so many human things, and yet she was still with me. What did she find in me, a soulless creature of the dark?
I knew that the best way to enable her to lead a happy, normal, human life was to take myself out of her presence, but I also knew the terrors of that path. My mind briefly wandered back into those dark days and nights without my Bella—the time I left her all alone and heartbroken after her horror of a birthday party last September.
No, I vowed to myself. I will not do that to her again. We had both suffered immensely for my stupidity, and I was never going to put her through that amount of pain again. Never. It was unthinkable, it was taboo. As I had once said: I was going to stay here until she ordered me away.
Almost instinctively, my arm tightened around her. The closeness of her body made her tantalizing warmth increase, and my skin danced with excitement. My hands shook slightly as a burning desire coursed through me—a desire that had nothing to do with her heavenly blood and everything to do with her ungodly-beautiful body… I closed my eyes, trying to calm down.
Her proximity… It was too much to handle. I wished to be free to dream, fantasize as any other normal seventeen-year-old would do about the woman he loved. I wished to be free to be able to hold her as I wanted to, and show her in the most basic and physical way how much I loved her, how much she meant to me. From her tentative and heartbreakingly innocent advances, I knew she wanted to, too. But every time, every single time, I had to say 'no'. It destroyed me inside to refuse her anything she wanted but I had to—her safety was so much more important than anything else. And this was completely uncharted territory for me, and I never, ever wanted to take such a giant risk with her.
I could hurt her… and I could never live with myself if I did that to her. No, it was not possible.
"White roses…" she whispered, so quietly even my sensitive ears almost missed it.
I smiled softly. So, my Bella liked white roses? I wondered briefly how she would react if I gave her a dozen roses the next morning. But then again, she seemed to dislike any presents from me…
My cell phone beeped abruptly. I froze, my eyes fixed on Bella's face, worried the quiet sound might have disturbed her much-needed sleep. No, it hadn't; she simply rolled over to her other side and sighed, a slight smile on her beautiful face.
Moving very careful so as not to jostle her, I slipped my hand inside my pocket and fished out the silver phone and flipped it open. A text message from Alice:
"Go for a small bouquet of white roses, Edward. She'll love it. She'll grouch but she'll tell you she loves them later. Alice."
I smiled again. Well, that was settled then. Very carefully, I softly lifted her arm which was still draped over my waist and settled it cautiously beside her, holding my breath for a minute to see if she'd wake up. She slept on peacefully. Very softly, I eased away from the bed and stood up, straightening my creased shirt.
I looked at my favorite rocking chair by the window for a moment, but knew I couldn't make the phone call here—my voice would Bella up. And she needed to sleep. Having to sleep was an important part of being human
Feeling a little excited, I slipped out of her window, landing silently on the ground, my cell phone still in hand. I made a quick phone call to the best flower shop in Seattle, ordering for a fresh bouquet of the best white roses they had to be delivered before morning. I address the delivery to Carlisle and Esme. As soon as I hung up the phone, I received another text message from Alice.
"I'll bring it over in the morning and you can give it to her at school."
I grinned, feeling happy. Perhaps I couldn't be human with Bella, but I could give her human presents. And as Alice had said, she was going to like it. And it wasn't expensive either, just $100 for the roses and a plus $50 for the night delivery. And tips.
Okay, so maybe it was a little expensive, but Bella wasn't going to know the costs. And after all, my Bella deserved the very best of everything in the world. Including roses.
I heard the slight rustling of the bed and her clothes as she turned over in bed in her room above me. She was always restless when I wasn't around, even in her sleep. Feeling almost about to burst with pride that she wanted me around so much, I flashed up to her window and quickly climbed in, peaceful again with the fact that I could see her once more.
It seemed that, although it had been only a few minutes since I had to leave to call the shop, I was anxious to be at her side again. The ever-present electricity between us hummed tantalizingly as I climbed back beside her in bed. The slightly strained look in her face instantly disappeared and her arm automatically draped over me again.
I relaxed, my insides humming with pleasure as I drank in her presence, truly like a starving alcoholic beside ancient brandy. I smiled once more as I felt the familiar sense of maddeningly blissful peace Bella carried around her like an aura.
This feeling was the core of my being. This feeling was why I still existed. This feeling was what gave life meaning. This feeling was called Bella.