-John's POV-

I stared at the TV. I stared at the cute look on Dave's face. I stared back at the TV. I stared at the woman's boobs. Not because I was getting turned on by their large, bouncy apearence, but because something just seemed off about them. They were too...perfect. They were both exactly the same size.

And when you've been with as many girls as I have, you know that one is always bigger.

The longer I stared at the lady on the tv that just wouldn't turn off, I realized what was weird about her. She wasn't real. She was one of those CGI, fake human, 'uncany valley' kind of things.

I picked up the remote and changed the channel, sure enough it immidately flicked back to the fake woman. She was talking about a flood in some state so far away it wouldn't even affect us.

Dave began to rapidly press all the buttons he could manage (which is a rather good idea when you don't know what the fuck you're doing) but the woman was just so persistent. "What in the...?" Dave mumbled as he stood up and backed away from the tv. He looked petrified. He kept walking backwards, bumping into me but still keeping his eyes trained on the tv.

I grabbed his shoulders and turned him to look at me, "Dave...?"

He fell to the ground, unconcious. I dropped to my knees and checked his pulse and made sure he was breathing. I wasn't sure what was going on, but this TV and this woman were definitely the reason for it. I sat right in front of the tv and I put my hand on the screen. I felt a burst of static electricity much stronger than usual and I closed my eyes. When I opened them again the tv was rippling.

It looked like some one had projected the face of the woman onto a lake and then tossed a large rock into the middle of her forehead. When I looked closer, I saw that the screen itself was litterally rippling. I laid my hand on the screen and it burned, hot as fire, but with a strange cooling sensation deep inside. I put my hand against her forehead where the ripples began and felt my hand push into the tv. I yanked it out and I knew exactly what I had to do.

I went to the kitchen and lifted up one of the tiles that had exploded from my floor and found the soy sauce canister. Even though we had taken the only two pills the other day, I opened it to find three new ones. I took one and stuck the rest in my pocket and went back to the living room to pick up Dave. Molly ran up and started to lick the screen. I kicked her butt a little and forced her through the TV. I heard her barking and knew she didn't die when she went through. I poped one of the pills into my mouth and jumped through with Dave in my arms.

Once through, I found us in a large ripling room, covered with the faces of people who looked strangely familiar, but not at the same time. The sauce told me that they were the faces of those who had been 'erased' from past, present, and future. That thought brought a single name to my head: Todd Brinkmayer.

I turned around and the wall behind me showed the face of a man who looked to be a few years younger than me and Dave. He wore glasses and a nerdy looking sweater vest. I watched the rippling wall as I looked around to realize I couldn't find Molly. I whistled and she burst from another wall. She barked and then began to lick my leg. I laid Dave against a wall and told Molly to stay with him. She laid down and began to lick the floor. I tucked one pill into his hand before I approached the wall of the boy who looked so familiar to me. I stepped through the wall and suddenly everything made sense.

-Todd's POV-

It had been what felt like centuries since I'd seen John or Dave. And to see John come through my TV was an amazing site...litterally, I have a small TV.

My TV had been ripling and refusing to turn off ever since I found that lighter.

A couple years ago John, Dave, and I plus a few friends were traveling to Las Vegas to do what we do best: skrew shit up. But while fighting the mosters I got pulled into nonexistance. I woke up trapped in an alternate universe. I couldn't remember anything from my past. All I knew is that I didn't belong here. I wandered the blackness searching for a way out until one day I found a door.

Alone in this large room of darkness was a solid white door. On the other side I found another world that was seemingly destroyed. All the beings there were dead in what looked to be a very gruesom massacre by worms or some shit. I didn't think too much about it.

While wandering the world, I found a cigarette lighter. It was covered in blood and there was a picture of a penis drawn on the side of it with a sharpie. I snickered at the picture and decided it was worth keeping. I decided to stay the night there since it had been some time since I'd been somewhere with actual civilization.

I found a small house, removed all the naked dead people, and curled up in the stranger's bed for the night. It had been such a long time since I'd had a good nights sleep and just as I was about to enjoy it, something slammed against the door. I looked up and saw the lighter that I had found earlier laying near the door.

Well...it was laying there until it floated off the ground, slammed against the door, then dropped back. It repeated this action over and over until I picked it up. It felt like it had been in a fire and while holding it, I felt like it needed to be outside of this door.

I dropped it on the ground and went back to my bed. I would deal with the possesed lighter later.

The next morning, I found it had busted through the door and was sitting in the middle of the next room over. I tucked it in my pocket and left the house to go check out the rest of this world.

I took the lighter out of my pocket and found it held a magnetic pull. I decided to follow it which is when it eventually led me to this world. Once I entered it, I felt like this is where I belonged. Memories flooded my mind and suddenly I knew that somewhere there were two men who I needed to find.

John Cheese and David Wong.

I couldn't remember how to get back to where they lived and I couldn't even remember my name anymore. But at the sight of John emurging from my TV, the rest of my memories were back too!

I ran to the man who was very confused as he hung half in, half out of my TV screen and I wrapped my arms around him, "John!" I felt like I was going to start crying from happiness.

Things were finally going to go back to normal now.

-John's POV-

Who in the fuck is this dork who's cuddling me and making googly eyes at my dick?

-Dave's POV-

I opened my eyes after having a weird dream about who knows what to find myself surrounded by faces with Molly licking my crotch. Was this one of those dreams where you wake up in the dream just to still be dreaming?

Oh well.

I stood up and looked around me. The people on the TV reminded me of the lady who had been on John's TV earlier. I looked closely at each one before I noticed one of them change. It went from some guy to two guys, and one of them was John. I stared at it, confused. What the hell was John doing in that giant TV wall thing?

I walked closer to it but the closer I got the more realistic it looked. Molly took a running leap at the wall and I snickered, expecting her to bounce off like the idiot she was, but instead she went right through the wall. Then she appeared in the picture next to John and whats-his-name.

I looked behind me to see if I was being punked, but I knew this was just [Undisclosed] being [Undisclosed].

I balled up my fist and felt something pop. I opened my hand to see I had crushed a sauce tablet. I licked it up and walked through the wall.

-John's Diary Entry-


So...today was intense.

I went through a TV, my kitchen is still exploaded, I found an old friend who was supposed to be dead or erased from existance or whatever, but the best thing was I got my awesome lighter back.

Ya know, the one with the awesome penis picture on the side? Can I say FUCK YEAH!?

Well, we all made it home safely (after wandering the stupid TV universe for like three goddamned hours) and now I think I'm gonna go fuck Dave and make Todd watch. If anything else interesting happens, I'll let ya know.


Author's Note:

So...thats the end of this thing...for now anyway! I will continue the story on with more weird shit in [Undisclosed]. If you have some sort of request for new chapters in the story or whatever, leave me a review about them! :)

Also, I decided not to put a sex scene in cuz...1: I wanted to troll you guys! :3 and 2: I think it would fit better if I make a seperate oneshot sex scene story lol

Well...I shaddup now! x3