I don't own Monk
"GIVE IT A BREAK," Monk snapped.
Natalie's ears perked up.
"Listen pal," Officer Turnportine replied, "I know she's you're friend and I know that you're temporarily captain of the force but she was speeding. You saw it with your own two eyes"
"First of all she was going 2 miles above the speed limit," Monk snapped, "and secondly you're just being vindictive and I will not stand for a person being vindictive to my friends.
"Maybe you don't remember but you did the same thing to Trudy once about 15 years ago. I didn't put up with it then and I won't put up with it now"
"Did you at least-"
"WHAT I DID OR DIDN'T DO IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS," Monk said, "and what I WILL DO OR WON'T DO IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS EITHER!"
"I think you're being unreasonable," Turnportine replied.
"You thought the same thing 15 years ago," Monk came back, "and I didn't care then. If it was legitimate-"
"You would have still let it slide"
"Not odd," Monk replied
He would never say not even because he wouldn't want to insult even-ness.
"You're odd," Turnportine replied
"NO I'M EVEN," Monk responded, "and don't you dare call me odd ever again"
Natalie couldn't help but giggle.
"Did you see that!"
"Yeah… probably because you're acting like an idiot"
"I don't appreciate that"
"Let me," Monk said, "pretend to care. Oh wait—I don't"
Then he closed the door.
"Come on Natalie," he said, "we have a scene to go to"