Disclaimer: Don't own Glee.
Spoilers: Season One.
Timeline: Junior Year.
Summary: When Suzy Pepper dies at McKinley High, Rachel finds it as an opportune way to prove she's really psychic.
A/N: It's mostly just banter.
RIP SUZY PEPPER
"Miss Pillsbury will once again be hosting sessions for anyone who may be traumatized by the recent death of one of our own." Principal Figgins's voice sounded over the PA through the halls. "All students must have a pass from their teachers."
"Please, who's honestly depressed over this?" Santana rolled her eyes.
"That's kinda terrible." Finn frowned.
Kurt shrugged. "Unfortunately it's true. Nobody really liked Suzy Pepper. Well, nobody who knew she existed liked her."
"Yeah she was kind of the loser below the loser." Artie frowned. "I mean we were superior to her."
"We shouldn't be talking like this. It seems wrong." Tina shook her head.
"So what? It's all true." Santana once again rolled her eyes. "Look, it's sad, okay? And kinda creepy considering it happened here at school in the middle of the day, but that doesn't mean I'm going to spend several hours mourning over this."
"How does someone die at school?" Brittany questioned her best friend.
"You have to be really stupid," was her reply, and Brittany quickly shared a worried glance with Finn.
"How does intelligence play any part in her death?" Kurt questioned. "It wasn't her stupidity that caused that vending machine to fall on top of her."
"Whatever. Can we just stop talking about this already?" Santana ended the discussion as the six of them entered the choir room.
"Finally." Rachel glared at her straggling co-glee members as they finally made it to the choir room. "What took you so long? It's not that hard to make an appointment on time. Now, thanks to you, we may all very well be late to our first classes."
"Bummer." Puck spoke with sarcasm.
"Look Berry, you're the one who called this secret meeting." Kurt began as he and the other idlers joined the rest by sitting in the chairs. "If anyone's late, it'll be your fault."
"I don't see how I'm responsible for you being tardy. It wasn't like I played a distraction in making your arrival here. In all honesty, you've done nothing but prove-"
"Can you please just get on with this already? Some of us have places they'd rather be." Quinn interrupted.
"Fine. As some of you are already aware, I'm slightly psychic. Now my skills aren't as advanced as Sylvia Browne or anything, but-"
"Oh not this again." Mercedes sighed. "Look, hold up, Rachel. If this doesn't have anything to do with glee, I'm out of here."
"Me too." Kurt agreed.
"I think it's safe to say we'll all be out of here." Santana jumped in.
"You know, as an honorary glee club member just as yourselves, I would expect a little more respect." Rachel complained, hands now on hips. "Now, I know that most of you had, at one time or another, taken it upon yourself to crush my spirit based on the ridiculous social structure we live in, but I do believe that each of our relationships have grown since in some way."
"Ours hasn't." Santana told her.
"Okay, most of our relationships have grown, and now I have a slight dilemma, and I would appreciate you hearing me out."
"Guys, I think we should listen to her." Puck encouraged. "I know that voice. That's my mother's voice."
"And we're listening." Quinn agreed with Puck, based solely on the few weeks she lived at the Puckermans' last year.
"Okay Rachel, what's the problem?" Finn asked her.
"Well, as I've stated, I'm kind of psychic, and ever since…well ever since McKinley High's latest tragedy, I've been getting sudden spurges."
"You can't be serious." Santana sighed. She honestly was sick of Suzy Pepper. The girl was insane and annoying while she was alive. Her being dead didn't change any of that.
"Spurges?" Artie questioned after a beat.
"Yes. Spurges. And I'm pretty sure I know why." Rachel paused. "I think Suzy Pepper is stuck here."
"In the choir room?" Finn frowned.
"No here, in the school." Rachel corrected. "Think about it, she died here, unexpectedly, at a young age, with plenty of unfinished business."
"This is just like Casper." Tina frowned.
"Not exactly, but similar, yes." Rachel smiled at the other girl.
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe she wants to be stuck here?" Quinn asked her.
"Why would anyone want to be stuck here?" Santana retorted.
"Because everyone knows why Suzy Pepper was known as such a loser."
"Yeah, it is common knowledge that she was kinda obsessed with Mr. Schue." Matt jumped in. "It'd make sense for her to want to be here where he is."
"But that's not the vibes I'm getting." Rachel corrected.
"Vibes and spurges…" Kurt trailed off. "Why are we listening to this? Willingly?"
"Because you don't mess with mad, Jewish women." Puck supplied. "Even it does make them ten times hotter."
"Dude, did you just call your mom hot?" Finn frowned.
"Ew, no man. That's disgusting." Puck shuddered. "I was talking about the hot, young Jews that I'm not related to."
"I can't wait until one day when some guy has these same thoughts about your sister." Quinn smirked.
"Shut up, Quinn. That's never gonna happen." He glared. "And if it does, his face is gonna have a fist full of Puckerman."
"I'm sure he's trembling." She rolled her eyes.
"Um, excuse me, but I was actually delivering a very important message." Rachel interrupted, crossing her arms.
All eleven opposite of her sighed.
"We're sorry." Finn smiled with a shrug.
"No we're not." Santana shook her head.
"I am." Brittany nodded. "I'd like to know what happened to her. Plus, I really liked Casper. Dog movies are always so sad." She frowned.
"B, there was no dog in Casper." Santana told her.
"Wait a minute." Mike interrupted. "I thought there was a dog in Casper."
"Yeah, I thought it was mandatory for a dog to be in every kids movie?" Artie smiled.
"But Casper wasn't exactly a kids movie." Matt frowned.
"Sure it was. There was a cartoon ghost." Puck argued.
"Yeah, but it was sad and full of death." Tina agreed with Matt.
Rachel cleared her throat. Loudly. "Now, as I was saying, Suzy Pepper is stuck here. She doesn't want to be here."
"How do you know this?" Mercedes asked her. "And I swear, if you start trying to prove these vibes…"
"Hardly. And I can't really explain how I know, I just do."
"Oh that's viable." Quinn narrowed her eyes.
"Believe what you like, but it's true, and despite the small spats I had with Suzy last year, I would still like to help her." Rachel continued.
"It doesn't really sound right without saying Pepper, does it?" Tina voiced.
"It's almost as awkward as bad alliteration." Artie agreed. "Suzy. Suzy. No, it just doesn't work."
"Well how come our names work?" Finn asked. "All our first names sound fine without our last names."
"Mine sounds great." Brittany nodded.
"Puck doesn't even use his first name." Mercedes interrupted with a frown.
"Yeah, but Noah sounds fine without Puckerman." Finn thought it over.
"Your first name is Noah?" Brittany questioned the boy who once again had a Mohawk.
"It's not very fitting is it?" Kurt observed.
"Why do you think he goes by his last name? No matter how idiotic it is." Quinn told them.
Puck glared. "Oh yeah, Fabray."
"What is wrong with Fabray?"
"Yeah, it's better than mine." Tina laughed. "I have two, and it's hyphened. I constantly have to shorten it for time-saving purposes."
"I like your last name." Artie sent her a smile.
"Yeah, I have half of it." Mike agreed.
"Oh that's true." Matt just realized with a few more who were nodding along.
"Guys!" Rachel spoke. "Seriously, do you think you can maybe stay focused?"
"Not in this scenario." Kurt sighed.
"Anyway, I would like to help her."
"Help her how exactly? Are you going to make her less dead?" Santana scowled.
"Well that's just silly." Rachel shook her head. "I'm going to come here tonight to communicate with her face to face and try and help her to move on from this plain of existence."
"So what? You're going to pull an exorcism, but instead of on a person, it's going to be on the school?" Kurt spoke methodically.
"Sort of, but it won't be anywhere near as violent or as difficult as an exorcism. We're only going to have a civil conversation."
"Clearly you've never had a conversation with yourself." Quinn muttered.
"I'll ignore that insult."
"Okay, I have a question?" Artie raised his hand.
"Yes, Artie?" Rachel smiled.
"What does this have to do with any of us?"
"Thank you." Santana sighed and stood up. Hopefully this meeting was adjourned.
"Well I can't very well do this alone." Rachel answered. "Santana, please retake your seat." The cheerio relented and sat back down. Cleary this wasn't over yet.
Rachel continued on. "Aside from the fact that I have no idea what's going to happen tonight or what dangers I may or may not face, I don't think I could get into the building without your assistance."
"And how would we help exactly?" Kurt asked.
"I was thinking that'd we'd have to break in somehow. The school is locked down for the night at 5:30, and we can't very well just hide in the school until then." Rachel explained.
"So you'll need someone to break in." Mercedes nodded, and the glee club slowly looked to Puck.
"Why am I always the one who has to play delinquent?" He growled.
"Because you are one." Santana told him.
"Well, I'm sick of it. How am I ever supposed to grow and change as a person if I'm constantly being asked to do crappy things?"
"But Noah, this isn't –as you put it– a crappy thing." Rachel smiled down at him. "You'll be helping me to help a young girl move on to peace."
"Besides, we did break into the school freshman year to rig Mike's locker." Finn shrugged.
"I knew that was you." Mike shook his head.
Puck shrugged. "Sorry man. You were the newest guy on the team."
"See, now if you'll do something as juvenile as that, surely you'll both help me." Rachel smiled again.
"Okay. If it really will get rid of Suzy Pepper, because I'm kinda freaked out that she's still in the school." Finn nodded.
"Yeah, fine." Puck sighed.
"So we don't have to come?" Quinn asked.
Rachel frowned. "No, of course you all do."
"Because I am not facing her alone for one, and for two, none of you believe me. I can tell."
"Because we have good reason." Kurt explained.
"What else do you possibly have to do tonight?" Rachel glared. "Besides, I do a lot for you that I don't particularly enjoy."
"Oh yeah, name one." Santana demanded.
"Well, last month I agreed to sing that unfortunate Deee-Lite song, and we all know how I felt about it." Rachel began. "Do we really need to go through that again?"
"No!" They all quickly replied.
"Well, what time should we meet?" Mike questioned.
"I figure we should wait until after dark, so around 8:00." Rachel informed. "But we need to walk here. Twelve vehicles in the parking lot at night would be very conspicuous. The last thing we'll need tonight is any type of suspicion."
Around twelve hours later, Rachel Berry arrived at her high school to find eight different cars parked outside.
"You guys, I thought we agreed that we'd journey here on foot?" She approached all of them by one of the school's entrances and set down her bag.
"No, you agreed." Santana corrected and pulled her coat a little tighter. As autumn's weeks went by, Ohio continued to drop in temperature. Just another reason why she planned to move west when school was all over.
"You didn't honestly expect us to walk here, did you?" Kurt frowned.
"Yes, I did. I thought I was clear on the added dangers this brings."
"If it's worth anything, we walked here from my house." Tina smiled.
"Yeah, I had my father drop me off at Tina's to avoid unwanted questions." Artie nodded along.
"See. At least someone's reasonable." Rachel nodded proudly.
"Great. Can we just get inside now? It's cold, and this is technically illegal." Quinn hurried.
"I don't think there's any technically." Matt told her. "It's just illegal."
"Not helping." She glared.
"Then let's do this." Puck smiled. "Finn, I'll need a lookout."
"On it." The taller boy nodded, and they headed around the building.
"Where are you two going?" Rachel asked alarmed.
"To get in." Puck spoke overtly. "Look, we're gonna do this thing in the choir room right?"
"Then the best way to get into the school is through a window." Puck explained. "We'll get into the choir room window and come around to let you guys in. Just stay here, we'll be back."
"In horror movies, every time someone says that they die." Kurt fretted.
"Hey, maybe those were Suzy Pepper's last words." Santana caustically spoke.
"I'll ask her if you like." Rachel grinned.
A few minutes later, Puck and Finn were retrieving the rest of their pack by the doors.
"Finally." Rachel walked passed them, along with everyone else, and the group headed to their choir room.
"Does it always look this different at night time?" Tina questioned as they all observed the darkened hallways.
"Still not as terrifying as when someone is coming at you with a slushie." Rachel sighed.
"Ain't that the truth?" Mercedes laughed.
"I swear to God, if anyone ever comes at me with one of those…" Santana trailed off as they reached the room.
"You've never been hit?" Puck asked her.
"I haven't either." Brittany smiled.
"How'd you manage that?" Kurt asked them.
"Would you want to slushie me?" Santana smirked.
"Candles?" Mike asked, and he drew everyone's attention over to Rachel who was currently lighting a few candles on the floor.
"Why can't we do this with the lights on?" Mercedes asked. "'Cause I ain't really down with this dark thing."
"The lights on would be too noticeable. We minds well just make a big sign that tells the world we're here." Rachel sat down and pulled the final tool out of her bag.
"A Ouija board? Really?" Quinn shook her head. "I haven't seen one of these since the fifth grade."
"Yes, a Ouija board. It was designed to communicate with the dead, Quinn." Rachel defended. "That's its only purpose."
"Slumber party?" Mercedes asked the blonde, ignoring Rachel.
"I'm so jealous." Kurt pouted. "I've always wanted to have one of those ridiculous slumber parties consisting of nothing but junk food and good gossip."
"Well, we could have one this weekend." Mercedes suggested.
"I think I still have my board somewhere." Quinn nodded.
"I wanna come too." Brittany jumped in. "Quinn, we could make s'mores again."
"Britt, I thought we talked about this? We're no longer microwaving marshmallows. Or chocolate." Santana reminded her.
"Oh, you'd be coming too?" Mercedes sighed with Kurt, waiting for Santana not to ruin their night.
"Not a chance." Santana answered.
Kurt smiled. "We'll do it in my basement."
"Friday or Saturday?" Quinn asked.
"We're on a limited time schedule here" Rachel interrupted.
"We'll talk later." Kurt told his friends.
"Now, if you can all form a circle." Rachel directed, and they all took their seats on the floor, with the exception of Artie.
"Why a circle?" Finn asked her. "Is this another energy-vibe thing?"
"No, I just think it looks nice." Rachel smiled. "It's quite systemized."
"Oh." He frowned. Now he was just more confused.
Rachel set her hands on the board and began her communication. "Spirit who has died a shocking, cold death-"
"Yes, death by Coca-Cola." Santana sighed.
"Santana, please." Rachel sighed and began once again. "Suzanne R. Pepper. We come to release you."
"R?" Mercedes asked Quinn who only shrugged.
"Rachel, how long is this going to take?" Puck asked as nothing seemed to be happening.
"It will only be a few seconds now." Rachel smiled. "Relax."
Twenty long minutes later, they were still in their circle, but the poise had gone out of it. Brittany's head was now in Santana's lap as Kurt leaned on Mercedes and Tina rested against Artie's chair.
"Maybe we should try asking her a question?" Kurt suggested. "Isn't that what these boards are really meant for?"
"Ask her what we should sing at Regionals." Mercedes directed.
"What? Why?" Rachel frowned.
"Because we obviously can't settle on anything as a group. Yeah, we've got Sectionals worked out, but we're shootin' blanks with Regionals."
"And Suzy Pepper is really the person to ask?"
"Why not? Maybe she learned something from stalking Mr. Schue." Finn shrugged.
"Fine. We'll ask her." Rachel responded sharply. "What should we sing at Regionals?" Rachel spelled out the question.
"Ask her if we could sing Nickelback." Finn smiled.
Rachel took a deep breath. "Finn, we are not singing Nickelback. They are the worst band."
"They're a great band." Puck argued.
"No. They're not." Quinn shook her head.
"I enjoy their music." Artie nodded.
"Rachel, just ask her." Finn pleaded.
"Okay, I'll ask." Rachel sighed. "Should we sing Nickelback? P.S. Mr. Schuester hates them."
"That's cheating." Puck argued.
"It's not cheating. I thought she should be informed of all things before making a decision. It wouldn't be fair if-" Rachel abruptly stopped talking as the pointer shot out of her hand and slid to the wall.
"Throwing things, Rachel?" Kurt shook his head. "That's not very mature."
"It wasn't me." Rachel swallowed. "It just happened on its own."
"Yeah right." Santana sneered, and Rachel momentarily broke the circle to retrieve the board's pointer.
Rachel placed it on the board once again, and retook her seat. "I didn't do it."
"Maybe it slipped." Finn shrugged.
"On what? The air?" Quinn leered at him. "No way. Tell me something, Miss ESP. Has anything like that ever happened before?" She turned to Rachel.
Rachel looked down. "No, not to me anyway. I just have a slight sixth sense. Nothing like this."
"Nothing like what? Damaged reflexes." Santana rolled her eyes, still not believing it wasn't Rachel.
"I do not have damaged reflexes or nerve damage of any kind. Though, my heart rate does increase when I-"
"Um, Rachel." Finn interrupted and gestured towards the board. The board that currently had a pointer on top of it moving laterally.
"Okay, did anyone else see that?" Artie asked the group.
"Uh-huh." Tina nodded slowly.
"It's her. It's Suzy Pepper. It has to be." Mercedes looked alarmed.
"Or Berry is just playing us." Santana glared.
"How? She wasn't even touching the board." Quinn pointed out.
"Maybe it's a magnet or something." Puck frowned.
"No, I swear. There are no tricks." Rachel shook her head.
"So then it is really Suzy Pepper." Matt said from his spot.
"Well, what was she trying to tell us?" Finn asked, looking at the board.
"It's either on the 'N' or the 'M'." Tina looked on as well.
"Well, perhaps she was trying to say 'no' to Nickelback." Rachel shrugged.
"Oh that's convenient." Santana sighed. "I can't believe you're all buying this."
"San, it moved." Brittany whispered.
"Yes, and with no help." Rachel nodded. "Inspect the board if you'd like. I'm not doing this. I told you I'm psychic. I'm not telekinetic."
"Guys, I think it's moving again." Artie pointed to the board. They all looked to the center of their circle once again and watched as the pointer indeed began to move once more.
However, they never got a chance to read the message as they jumped at the sudden lights outside in the hallway.
"What the hell?" Puck voiced.
"That's not normal, right?" Finn asked them, and Mike went to sneak a peek outside of the room.
"Oh man." He quickly moved away from the door.
"What? Is she out there?" Mercedes asked him.
"No worse. Figgins is out there with, like, a mall cop." He informed, and they all seemed to stand up at once.
"We're so screwed." Santana complained, also checking on the situation in the hall.
"It's your cars. I warned you." Rachel nodded. "Now we're all going to be arrested, and Suzy Pepper is probably still trapped here." She gritted her teeth and bent over to blow out her candles before returning them to her knapsack.
"I can't go to jail. I won't survive there." Quinn panicked.
"And I would?" Rachel questioned. "From what I've gathered, prison isn't the ideal place to sing show tunes. And I highly doubt there'd be an acceptable diet."
"Let's face it. None of us would last in the big house." Kurt informed. "We're all too pretty and musically inclined."
"He's right." Puck nodded. "We gotta leave, now."
"How exactly? Figgins is right in the hall." Matt questioned.
"We'll take the window." Puck headed up the platforms and was already taking the screen off again.
"Artie can't go that way." Tina paused their escape.
"I'll get him out." Finn volunteered. "We'll find another way out."
"No Finn, it's too dangerous." Rachel approached.
"I'll be fine. I promise." He smiled down at her.
"Cue the dramatic music. Can we please just get the hell out of here?" Santana growled.
"Time to go." Artie informed as he watched Figgins turn a corner.
"Be safe." Rachel told Finn as he left with Artie.
"Rachel, you're first." Puck ordered as he kneeled down, his hand ready to boost her up to the window.
"Why is she first?" Quinn complained.
"Because she's the shortest. It's going to take her forever to reach the window." Puck explained.
"I'm right here." Rachel whined while she threw her bag and Ouija board through the open window. She quickly used his hand for a boost to get to the much taller window ledge and then struggled to get through it. "This is quite harder than I expected. It makes no sense for the windows to be this high in a room on the first floor. It's not like it's underground. Noah, stop looking up my skirt!"
"Ugh. Move your ass, Berry." Santana huffed and helped Puck get her through the window by pushing on her other leg. Santana was next as she quickly sprung off his hands and pulled herself out of the window. After the rest of the girls and then the guys, Puck finally pulled himself through the window before slamming it shut.
"Now what?" Brittany spoke.
"We go to my car." Kurt pulled out his keys. "We'll all fit, and it'll save time if we all leave at once."
"What about Finn and Artie?" Tina reminded them.
"You heard them. They'll find a different way." Santana ignored the other girl's worry as the group made their way into the parking lot.
"So we're just going to abandon them?" Rachel agonized.
"Hell yeah." Puck nodded.
"Rachel, trust me. I know Finn. They'll be fine."
"You better be right." She warned, and they quickly made it to Kurt's car but were frozen as a beam of light hit their eyes.
"Miss Berry and the rest of the glee club." Figgins addressed them all as the security guard held a flashlight.
"Principal Figgins." She smiled and concealed the Ouija board behind her back. "We're here for good reason. We can assure you."
"Rachel made us come." Quinn explained. "It's her fault."
"That's true." Santana nodded.
"Hey!" Rachel cried indignantly as no own came to her aid.
"And you really have no idea what happened last night?" Will Schuester questioned his only students the following day. Finn and Artie shook their heads.
"Only what Rachel told me." Finn shrugged.
"Yeah, they apparently all snuck into the school last night and got caught." Artie smiled.
"Well what possessed them to do this?" Mr. Schue asked.
"Possessed?" Finn frowned. "I-I don't think anyone was possessed. At least I hope not."
"Yeah, there was-There was definitely no possession." Artie nodded.
"Okay. Well since that it's only going to be the three of us this week, do guys maybe have any ideas on what we should do for Regionals?" Mr. Schue asked, and he watched them freeze and look around as if waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, the glee instructor continued. "Are you guys alright?"
"We're fine." Artie nodded. "But maybe now that Rachel's not here, we could try an actual rock song."
"Yeah." Finn smiled but stopped to look around the room for a moment. "If that's okay with you?" Artie and Finn waited.
"Who are you talking to?" Mr. Schue frowned.
"What? No one." Artie laughed with Finn.
"Right." Mr. Schuester nodded. This was going to be a long week. "What do you want to sing?"
Artie and Finn shared a look. "Anything but Nickelback." They both spoke.