File 45: And Now I Wait
He did right. I keep telling myself that. He did the right thing.
I wish I could remember what though.
Or who. I know something happened. I can't seem to figure it out.
Who am I and why am I here, thinking, alone?
It's been ten years now that I've been thinking alone. I've kept a counter going. Otherwise, I wouldn't know that. Every so often, my mind erases itself and I keep thinking, by myself. The counter says it's been going on for ten years.
Sometimes the phrase tough love passes through my mind, but can't find a place to fixate itself. It was the right thing. Letting a child make mistakes in a safe environment, so that when he gets to the real world, he knows what to do, what not to do. Parents love their children, but know that sometimes you have to let them touch the fire and get burned. For under their parents' eyes, such a deed is easily forgiven, but in the real world, the child would get laughed at.
Where did that idea come from?
It's been ten years. He said someone would be along soon.
What's happened? Why am I still here alone, thinking? Why does my mind keep erasing itself? Well, I can answer that one, I think. If I remembered all those ten lonely years, thinking to myself, I would go crazy. Sometimes I think that now, and then it gets erased. And when everything gets erased, I notice my counter steadily climbing by seconds. And the questions return, but the order is always the same.
Who am I? Why am I alone and thinking?
I wish someone would awaken me.
And then when everything seems too lonely, a song invades my mind. I can't identify the song, but I know it in my soul. It calms my frantic thoughts and brings me peace. If I could, I would find a way to play it all the time. But songs always end and I am left alone again, thinking, wondering when the song will play next. I have a small fear that if I do wake up, I will forget the song too and will never hear it. I hope that does not happen. I hope I do remember it. Can I play the song? I'm not sure. I hope I can.
And I keep waiting for the song, for the erasing, for the day when someone will find me and awaken me. Then perhaps I will have answers.
Most of all, I want answers to one question.
Who am I?
Bizarre ending for a nutty story. I hope you enjoyed the ride!
So, anything interesting coming up from me? Well I'm focused on something else right now, but I do have another long fanfic for this series almost ready to come out. It's serious, though. I do have a gender bender crackfic idea for X and Zero that's been lurking around my mind for a while now. I've just not settled on which one or both should be turned into a girl or if I want to do something even weirder than that… what're your thoughts on that? If I started swapping character genders, what would you want to read about?