As we say in French: chose promise, chose due. (Rough translation: I've now delivered as promised.)
A part of me is a little sad that the story is done, but to be honest, I really need to move on from it, to get back to my 'serious' writing, so… I just hope the end is satisfying to you – I tried my best not to rush it, which partly explains why it took so long.
For the last time: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I've done my part in trying to fix things.
Twenty-three – Bella
Twenty-three – Bella
For a cold and rainy fall day, this one was turning out to be quite… enjoyable.
I had been so horny since my birthday, since the 'special plans' Jake had mentioned had been foiled by the surprise party the pack had decided to throw in my honour, that I felt like a teenage boy. Making love with my boyfriend had become an obsession: I thought about it as I was working, I fantasised about it as I was eating, and I dreamt about it as I slept.
When Angela had called about her fiancé's birthday party and taken the opportunity to ask how things were between Jacob and I (in that teasing tone she always seemed to have nowadays – she was so smug about seeing right through me that night we'd gone for drinks in Port Angeles…), the frustration I'd felt at the lack of intimacy in my relationship of late had come pouring out before I'd been able to stop the words. Angela, of course, had been sniggering at me.
"It's not funny, Ang. Jake keeps planning these wonderfully romantic dates, but we're being thwarted at every turn, and I'm this close to just saying the hell with it, and jumping his bones the moment we're alone, no matter where that might be," I'd told her, my tone definitely whiny.
Her response had shocked me into silence: "Why don't you?"
She'd had me there. Why hadn't I? A part of it was that I'd always had to make the advances with Edward, and I really liked that Jacob wasn't constantly waiting for me to take that first step, to drop a hint. And what girl wouldn't be looking forward to the romantic plans Jake kept coming up with? It felt wrong to dismiss them – and ultimately him – by saying I didn't care, "just make love to me already"… But on the other hand, the more we waited, the higher the expectations seemed to be getting on both parts, and I was afraid we'd end up incredibly disappointed. If, that is, we ever managed to make any one of those plans happen!
So when an opportunity had presented itself this morning (Billy had looked like he was planning to camp in front of Charlie's flat screen for at least the day, if not the whole weekend), I'd only spent about fifteen minutes half-heartedly trying to talk myself out of driving to La Push. In the end, that craving deep inside, that itch that I simply couldn't scratch (I'd never really understood that saying before now), had won.
And boy was I not regretting it.
Jake had taken a little convincing – he'd been as obviously enthusiastic at finally having a few hours of privacy as I was, but there had been things on his mind, doubts that I was glad we'd addressed. It was a discussion we should have had well before now: probably that day Edward and Alice had visited, or at least after my birthday party when he'd sounded so scared and I'd dismissed it as the frustration of being denied an evening alone again. I'd been a horrible girlfriend – and I planned on earning his forgiveness in the most delectable ways.
One of the things I liked best about Jacob Black, though, was his capacity to let go of problems and worries, and just enjoy the moment. As soon as his fears had been put to rest, the mood turned playful and his small bedroom suddenly hummed with energy, with the anticipation that we were both feeling at taking this step in our relationship. My body was already tingling before he'd taken off my jeans, and when he stood at the foot of the bed, taking in my nude form with such obvious admiration in his eyes, I felt like the most desirable woman on Earth.
His caresses and butterfly kisses felt amazing as he moved from my toes towards my upper thighs, but there was really only one thing that my body craved right now – that I'd been obsessing on for days. And that was him, inside me, filling me the way I instinctively knew no one else could. So I urged him on, and when he started entering me oh-so-slowly, his thick member stretching my inner walls to their capacity, I knew it wouldn't take much for me to come. It felt too amazing, too perfect – and I wanted him to join me for the ride, not concentrate on not hurting me, as I knew he was.
"Jake, come on…" I coaxed him, locking gazes with him so he'd know I wasn't masking any pain. "I'm not going to break, baby."
That did it. He slid in to the hilt with a jerk of his hips, and I moaned loudly at the sensation of being so full, of being one with Jacob. I could think of no words to describe the feeling, except that it felt right. And I was pretty sure I could come from this, whether or not he started moving.
He did, though, and I lost myself in the rocking motion of his hips against mine, in the tingles that raced through my spine and down my limbs, in the strain it took to not come apart just… quite… yet…
My only complaint was that in order for this position to work despite our massive difference in heights, Jake's upper body was high above mine, and I couldn't feel his warm skin against mine, I couldn't kiss his beautiful face. My hands were clinging to his biceps and my legs were wrapped around his waist, but I wanted more contact – I needed his touch.
Jake and I were apparently on the same wavelength, because before I could manage to string two words together to voice my desire, I heard him growl incoherently – felt it reverberate through me delectably from where we were joined – while he positioned an arm under me to lift me with him as he sat back on his knees. I had a flash of the repetitive dream I'd had at the beginning of the summer, the one where Jake made love to me in this exact position, and could only reflect that it felt even better in reality. Our entire bodies were in contact, his supernatural heat seeping into my skin and relaxing my muscles until I felt like a giant pile of goo, except for the tightening coil in my gut, the compact spring that wound itself tighter and tighter with each push of Jake's hips, until it all came crashing down, and I had to grab onto his head and crash my lips to his or else I'd lose myself. I felt Jake grow impossibly larger inside me before he came with a few short thrusts; the feeling that settled over me in that moment was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. I'd never felt so loved, so desired, than when I realised that he'd fallen over the edge with me, that he'd trusted me and himself enough to let go and lose control.
It was the most beautiful feeling in the world.
"Oh my God, Jake, that was… incredible," I murmured in his ear after I'd somewhat managed to regain my breath. I was still hungry for his touch, for the contact of his skin, the softness of his thick black hair sliding through my fingers, the wetness of his tongue travelling down my neck. We were sweaty and sticky, glued to each other in this position, but I couldn't care less. I was perfectly comfortable, and planned to stay right here for the rest of eternity, thank you very much. Yeah, my brain was pretty much fried.
I expected him to say something about the – shall we say – 'expeditiousness' of our joining: not that I minded, but I couldn't imagine Jake not feeling bad about lasting significantly less than ten minutes. But even as I prepared myself to deny his concerns, I felt his member twitch and grow hard again where it still rested inside me, and I gasped at the strength of the sensation he caused without even moving. Everything was so much more sensitive, felt so much more.
"You didn't think that was it, did you?" Jake questioned in a mock-affronted tone, and I laughed at his raised eyebrow, at the twinkle in his eye. My boyfriend, the overachiever.
"Well…" I started to tease him, but he cut me short with a kiss that quickly turned ravaging, all teeth and tongue and – God, that man could kiss. He was, incredibly, distracting me from the shallow pumping of his hips, from the strokes of his large warm hands up my back and over my hair. I was overdosing on Jake – Jake's skin, Jake's scent, Jake's warmth, Jake's kisses, Jake's caresses, Jake's thrusts. It felt nice – more than nice, truthfully – and perfect.
After a while our kisses turned slow and indolent, and Jake, in a feat of acrobatics I had no idea was even possible, twisted our bodies so that I was straddling him as he laid down, his head nearly hanging off the foot of the bed. He didn't seem to mind – the switch in position had made him slip out for a brief moment, but before I could register the disappointing loss, he was filling me again, somehow deeper in this new position. His grin was definitely cocky when a particularly powerful thrust made me moan deep in my throat. I didn't call him up on it – as long as he kept doing that, he could feel smug all he wanted!
"God, you're beautiful, Bells!" he exclaimed in a near-worshipping tone after several minutes had passed with nothing but grunts and moans escaping our lips. "So beautiful…" he whispered, his hands gliding up from the hold he'd had on my hips to caress my waist, to palm my small breasts and brush his thumbs across my nipples. I threw my head back in order to send my long, thoroughly tangled hair behind my shoulders so it wouldn't be in the way, and the movement made something shift and I gasped.
"Oh! Yes…" I moaned, my gaze on the slightly-blurry ceiling above me as I ground down just so, the angle making the head of Jake's dick rub against something, making soft little electrical shocks burst through my body, emanating from deep inside. Wow.
"Fuck, honey–" Jake gritted through clenched teeth, and his hips increased in speed. I could imagine what I looked like, body arched into a bow, chest pushed forward, riding him as hard as his restraining hands on my butt allowed me to. I grabbed onto his forearms with both hands, needing the anchoring as the sensation became almost too much – not painfully, but like I couldn't sustain it much longer before tearing myself apart somehow. I realised I'd stopped breathing when the ceiling before my eyes started disappearing around the edges of my visual field, and I flung myself forward onto Jake's chest as I took a big gulping breath.
"You okay?" he asked softly as his hands rubbed my back in delicious long calming strokes, our rocking hips having nearly stopped their motion – but not quite. I kissed his lips while nodding, bumping noses with him and making him laugh.
"Yeah, I– yeah…" I assured him, catching my breath and trailing kisses along his jaw to suck on his earlobe the way I knew he loved. "It just got a little too much, is all," I said as I tilted my hips against him, urging him to start his thrusting again. There was still an unfulfilled urge inside me, an ache that only Jake could soothe.
His body responded to my motions, but his face was concerned when he asked: "Did I hurt you, Bells? You have to tell me if–"
"No. No, Jake," I reassured him as I pushed myself up a little to face him more directly. He followed the movement, sitting up and engulfing me in an intimate version of his trademark bear-hugs. "It wasn't painful, I swear, just a bit… much." I grinned at him, quirking an eyebrow as I continued: "It'll take some practice for me to be able to sustain that position, I think."
The low growl that came from him was the answer I'd been looking for. He punctuated it with a hard kiss and a series of quick and shallow thrusts, his abs contracting with the effort against my lower stomach. I felt my inner muscles respond in kind, and I smirked at the way his eyes crossed for an instant. I had no idea how I could still form coherent thoughts, much less sustain a semblance of conversation – perhaps it was the orgasm I'd already experienced that made this round less urgent, if no less intense. "We'll have to take it into account in our hunt for an apartment – we'll need a large bedroom for our large bed," I announced as matter-of-factly as I could manage through the small moans that were escaping my lips as our hips strained together ever more quickly.
"And a large bathtub," Jake mumbled into my chest, making me laugh in remembrance of his complaints with the size of my shower. One of his large hands squeezed one of my breasts as he teased the other with his lips and tongue, sending a jolt of desire straight to my clitoris. He carefully pushed me back against his raised knees so he'd have better access, changing the angle of his thrusts again, and I felt that tightening coil start clenching my insides in the most delicious way. Jake must have felt it too, because he emitted a low moan of his own as his other hand, the one that wasn't already occupied with coaxing the most amazing sensation from my breast, gripped my thigh forcefully. I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up with finger-shaped bruises, but it didn't hurt – if anything, the possessiveness behind it made it all the more enjoyable.
Our lovemaking went on like that for a few more minutes, the gasps and moans our frantic pace pulled out of us interspersed with bribes of conversation about the things we'd want in our future home: a large kitchen for my cooking, a cozy sofa to cuddle in, a jacuzzi, large windows to take in as much light as possible, a flat screen TV… I wasn't sure how serious Jake was with some of his suggestions, and I honestly couldn't care at the moment, needing all my concentration for just forming coherent words. I could feel my orgasm building, still out of reach but so near I could almost taste it. Jake had laid back onto the bed for more traction, his hips pushing up into mine with reckless abandon, his thumbs rubbing maddening slow circles into my inner thighs.
"And a large walk-in closet," I managed to gasp as I rolled my hips into Jake's, striving for that eluding push over the edge, "for… for all my clothes–" I couldn't finish, the thought fleeing from my mind on his next thrust.
"We won't need any clothes," Jake choked out in a barking laugh. "We'll spend all our time in bed, honey, if I have anything to say about it."
I giggled, but he chose that moment to graze my clit with his thumb, and I swallowed the laugh back as I gasped, the fleeting touch enough to send me crashing, my inner walls contracting around him powerfully. He grunted, and followed me into ecstasy after just a couple more deep and hard shoves.
"You. Are. Incredible," he declared with passion after another few minutes had passed as we both strained to catch our breath. His words were interspaced with kisses on whatever part of my body happened to be within range of his lips as he repositioned us (I was too mellow and exhausted to move myself) in the bed, our heads resting close on the pillows that he'd retrieved from the floor, where he'd apparently kicked them in his enthusiasm.
I smiled contentedly and kissed him softly. "Thank you," I said seriously, knowing he'd understand how much it had meant to me that he'd let himself enjoy our lovemaking as much as I had. It truly felt like we'd made love together, and that, I now realised, was something that had always been missing with Edward. But I was done thinking about my ex and comparing him to Jake; I planned to enjoy the afterglow with Jacob.
"Come here," he said, pulling me into his body and settling on his back as I curled into his side, my head on his chest and our legs tangled together. "So… about that apartment…" He sounded just a little hesitant, as if I'd go back on my agreement of our starting to look for a joint home.
"We're also going to need a big fridge," I said, continuing our list so he'd know I hadn't only been playing. "I imagine I'm going to have to feed a few werewolves form time to time."
He chuckled, and squeezed me a little closer. I closed my eyes, the exhaustion slowly pulling me under, and I felt the reverberation of his laugh and his words through his chest: "Yeah, you probably will. But we'll make it work," he whispered, and I heard the hope, the joy, the love and the contentment in his voice.
As I slipped into a peaceful sleep, safe in the arms of this amazing man, my last thought was that we would indeed – we'd make it work, together.
As an end note, I would like to thank every single one of you, whether you reviewed or not, because fanfiction IS (to me at least), all about the readers. To the people who commented, I've told you all how much I appreciated your feedback, and I thank you again. To the anonymous ones whom I couldn't reply to: your words were greatly appreciated, and I hope you enjoyed the story.
Special acknowledgment goes to cretin, Naranwien and Idunnowhy for letting me rant when I was stuck, uninspired or too busy to write.
Also: I've mentioned some time ago that I had an idea for another story. I do. I'm not deleting the file from my computer, and knowing myself as I do, I'll probably revisit it at some point. But not right now. So my advice to you, if you're interested, is to keep me on Author Alert. It might be in a few months, it might be in a year – but chances are that I'll want to take Jacob Black and Bella Swan (and Edward, because every story needs a villain) for a spin again. (Plus there's that small matter of a promise I made to cretin about 'Frustration' outtakes…)
In the meantime, don't hesitate to PM me if you want to chat – I'm not disappearing, I'm just returning to my natural 'lurker' mode.