Disclaimer: I do not own Lux Pain, Baka to the Test or the Twilight series. Lux Pain is owned by KILAWARE and I don't even want to known Twilight because it was made by Stephen Meyer.

Kotoru, Mars, Sano, Serena, Sora, Fiore, Rinoa, Rinse, Arai, Kenny, Skye, Fuji, Kouji and Calum are my characters by the way.

Summary: The shipping war is on! Thanks to Rinse's meddling, Shinji and Mika's hatred for each other is at its peak but a certain someone will talk some sense into Shinji.

Pairing: Hinted (OC) Sora/Shinji with Ryo/Hibiki on the side

Rated: T (for teen)

Genre: Parody, Friendship

Warning: Unintentional OOC, Twilight bashing, Stephen Meyer bashing, violence because of rapid Twitards, swearing and shonen ai.

Well, this is the third one in the series. After hearing that Eclipse was "the best movie selling ever" (which is a lie by the way because we all know Avatar sold better than Eclipse if everyone at school was talking about the Navi) I decided that I would bash the author and the people who did the reviews instead. Enjoy because most of these are facts.

Yayoi Kamishiro never understood the commotion between those that loved Twilight to death as if the Twilight series books were the bible and those that hated it with a passion that the series and author should go to hell. She wanted to remain neutral about the whole thing but it was impossible now. Ever since her two friends Shinji Naruse and Mika Nozaki broke up because of the preppy girl known as Rinse Higushi, remaining neutral was no longer an option. You either loved it or hated it. Of course, many of the girls in Kisaragi High School were obsessed with Twilight. Failure to side with them will result in you getting a serious beat down.

Everyone in the class suffered because of this stupid war. The student known as Akihisa Yoshi was a victim to these violent girls. Yuji Sakumoto's girlfriend Shoko went ballistic on him for two reasons. One was because of Twilight obviously but the other reason was because she saw him as a threat to her relationship to the redhead. So not only did Yuji get tasered to the point where he had to stay at home for a day for the injuries but he also couldn't prevent his best friend but being critically injured. Poor Akihisa! Shoko teamed up with Rinse and beat him up with a baseball bat. They then through his body into the trash dump in Area 2 and then threw away the evidence. The students were disappointed in the police not filing charges against the two girls because they couldn't find proof that they hit the brunette with a baseball bat.

This scene scared Hibiki Kiryu greatly. Yayoi noted how he was always on guard now ever since Akihisa was sent to the hospital. Rinse had a grudge against him and his adopted step sister Kotoru Hino (the younger sister of the nurse Honoka Hino.) She would make sure that he would suffer similar to how her older sister suffered at the hands of Kotoru's blade. This has caused him to stay away from home and move from friend's house to friend's house. This time he was staying with Atsuki Saijo because he was the safest person to be with. After all, if Atsuki could criticize Edward Cullen and still see the light of day that was a person you could trust.

The artist thought Shinji's health was more important than anything else. He was going back to his old self again skipping school because of the break up. Mika didn't seem to care though and it seemed like the bluenette was going to the dark side because of the bitch.

"So, Naruse, Sakumoto and Yoshi are out again?" Kouji Kanazawa, the music and replacement history teacher asked the class. "Are they Twitard sick or something?"

"You know Kanazawa-sensei, you better watch what you say or you might find yourself in the hospital." Rinse threatened with an evil grin.

"Damn bitch…" Kouji mumbled as he took out a cigarette. He closed the attendance sheet and threw it at the girl at the front seat which happened to be Rinoa Fuyumi. It hit the quiet girl in the head square on. "Go to the office and take this with you. You won't be missing much anyway."

"Kanazawa-sensei…that was kind of harsh…" Hibiki murmured as he watched the girl next to him get up and slowly walk out the door.

"Maybe it was. I guess I kicked the wrong dog. Alright kids, get your text book out and let's continue where we left off!"

Yayoi noticed Rinse and two of her three thug friends Kenny and Arai eyeing Hibiki like a bird and their prey. He was seriously going to need protection today if he wanted to make it out of this alive.

Before long, it was lunch time. Many students rushed out the door to go get there meal. The smart students however, stayed clear of the cafeteria. There was another Twilight debate going on over there and it would be best to avoid it.

The cyan haired teen knew what he was doing. He was sticking to Ryo's arm the entire lunch period. The professor was greatly agitated by his friend's behavior but didn't bother to tell him to let go. No one seemed to care if you were gay or not. No, that was because the Twilight fad prevented people from seeing the real life stuff such as homosexuality in public.

In the end, Akira Mido (who finally got out of the hospital) and Atsuki ended up dragging Rui to the cafeteria to hear the debate.

"Worship Stephen Meyer and her greatest achievement!"

It was Rinse again. In Atsuki's eyes, it looked like she was starting a cult…and he never liked those things. Cults meant Silent infections and Silent infections meant using his powers to save more people that gave him a headache.

"This is ridiculous…" Atsuki murmured. "At this rate, every girl in this school will turn into a codependent woman."

"Hey, guys will take advantage of this." Akira said simply as he coughed a bit to perfect his voice. "I'm Edward Cullen! I'm a stalker that watches you sleep! I can dump you and you'll still love me ten years later!"

Akira's imitation failed but that was why Yayoi laughed. Atsuki simply smirked at what he just said about the loser of a vampire. Rinse caught them in the back of the cafeteria and glared at them.

"Hey, you low live better worship the best author known to man!"

It was the telepath's turn to glare. "You mean the author that can't use a thesaurus the correct way and doesn't take negative feedback well? I'll pass Higushi."

"It's you again Atsuki Saijo? How dare you say that about her! You liar!'

"Higushi, the only thing that comes out of my mouth is the truth. There would no reason for me to lie."

"Damn you! Arai, are you here?"

The big muscular student stood up from his seat. Yayoi feared the worse.

"Sick him!"

Arai nodded his head like an obedient puppy as he made his way toward Atsuki. The silver haired teen simply responded by taking his hot soup that he purposely ordered for this occasion and threw it across the room. It hit Rinse smack in the face. The hot water running down her face and down her school uniform; the ramen stayed positioned on her pink ribbon. By the time Arai tried to punch the telepath, Akira took his lunch and slammed it into his face along with a megaton punch.

Now, this happened to be the day where some of the college students were allowed to visit their old high school. Sora Hihara, the youngest son of the wealthy Kaze Hihara just happened to drop in on the cafeteria. Upon seeing food fly around, he just had to promote violence in the cafeteria.

"FOOD FIGHT!" Sora announced as he took the nearest bread and through it at some random girl. He then fled the cafeteria as food went flying around. He just happened to take the milk carton of some guy and pour it on the new Eclipse book that was near him and then left.

Atsuki and Yayoi instantly ducked under the table to avoid the food flying through the air. Didn't stop chocolate milk from falling on Yayoi's uniform though; she frowned at this and decided to crawl out of the café. Atsuki went with her but with small success because Kenny deliberately threw French fries and other types of food on him. The telepath was lost in the crowd as Yayoi made her way out of the cafeteria. That one teacher Kouji, who saw it all, just blew on his cigarette and watched from a distance.

Some teacher you are. Yayoi thought to herself sadly as she hurried along. She needed to go to the bathroom and quickly wash the stain off.

It had to be Aoi Matsumura to stop the food fight in the cafeteria after all. She lectured the music teacher in doing nothing before trying to find the student who was accountable. However, since no student would come clean, Kouji simply identified Sora as the instigator as well as the Twitards. Since Sora was no longer part of the school and his parents didn't care if he started a crisis like this, the only one to blame would be those crazed fans.

Yayoi was still cleaning herself in the bathroom. She saw other girls from the cafeteria walk in. Mika was one of them. The bluenette didn't seem to take notice of Yayoi as all she focused on was getting the food crumbs off the lower part of her school uniform.

"Uh, Mika, I-"

"Don't talk to me Yayoi. You aren't my friend anymore."

The reporter was acting so out of character after the breakup that it left the redhead speechless. She walked out of the bathroom pushing Mars Shidou (the sixteen year old crossdresser) into the wall. The blonde turned to her as soon as she left and stuck his tongue out.

"What a bitch!" Mars cursed as he walked toward Yayoi. "Twilight warps your mind. At least Harry Potter wasn't like this."

"This is going too far." Yayoi added. "At this rate, we'll lose the Mika we know."

"I don't really care about Mika." Mars said bluntly as he went over to the mirror to fix his hair. "If Mika doesn't go back to normal though, I won't be able to get juicy information on people so I can blackmail them later."


"I'll say this. Shinji needs a push in the right direction. Why don't you and Sora go to his house later on today and cheer him up. If he can get his spirits back up, I'm certain this cult will end before it even started."

"I wish…" Yayoi muttered. "Look at what happened to Yoshi-kun."

"I pity the fool." Mars said with a laugh. "Got in the way of a psycho girl and it ended up with him in the hospital. He'll recover though. It's bothersome for me as the school's reprehensive to go see him and bring flowers when his girlfriends could probably do that."

As Mars finished making sure his hair was straight and ready to go, he gave a wink to the mirror before leaving the girl's bathroom. Yayoi could only conclude that Mars, while being a jerkass about the whole situation was right. This whole thing got worse because the hacker and the reporter broke up. The only way to fix it was to get the two together again.

"Alright, after school, I'll go see Shinji."

So now that it was language class next, Aoi thought it was time to lecture the students on how bad Twilight was. Most of her students however were covered in food that they paid no heed to her.

"Students, you should know that starting a food fight is against the rules!" Aoi lectured. "It's absolutely despicable for a fight to break out all because of this fictional series."

"It's not a fictional series Matsumura-sensei!" Mika exclaimed. "These characters exist!"

"Yeah, because the Twilight series is an insert yourself into the story." Atsuki said harshly.

"Shut it Saijo!" The bluenette snapped. "Or do you want to settle this outside?"

"Nice call Mika! I'll help you out!" Rinse said with a noblewoman laugh.

Akira who was still trying to hide the bloodstain that was on his arm glared at the pink haired teen. She was so asking for it.

"Alright, everyone stop!" Aoi shouted. "I don't care if you love or hate Twilight, Edward Cullen, Bella Swan or Stephen Meyer! I'm just going to say this right now! I read the series and it promotes stalking, pedophilia and makes innocent girls think their boyfriend is more important than school. So I'm going to say this once and I don't want to hear it again. I'm banning everyone from reading or discussing Twilight while you are in my classroom!"

Mika and Rinse couldn't believe what she just said. On the other hand, the males of the class were already cheering on the inside.

"And it's not just this class. It will be every language class I have. If I hear anything about this series, I will suspend you, no questions asked. You have been warned."

And that was when Akira cheered. "HELL YEAH! BEAT THAT TWITARDS!"

That would send the green haired teen to the hospital later on that day.

Ryo and Hibiki did not return to class. No, it was too dangerous especially when the food fight broke out. Ryo thought the math whiz was being paranoid but he was right this time. They didn't need to put up with this shit.

Going to see a movie was crossed out the minute they learned that shortly after the New Moon movie, the Eclipse moving was playing.

"Kiryu, where do you want to go? South End is no longer an option."

"How about we go eat at Club Royal?" Hibiki suggested nudging his head against the bluenette.

Ryo blushed as a result. "W-Why there now? We're not even at the right age to be there."

"It's okay. As long as you're a friend of Sora's you'll be fine."

"About that…"

"I'm basically the little brother of Sano Etou now that sis is going out with him. Who cares about the age?"

The bookworm already loss the argument but he was still planning to keep going. That was until Hibiki sealed his lips with a kiss. Ryo did not know what to do or even how to kiss back. To Hibiki's disappointment, Ryo did nothing as a result and ended up pulling away.

"Thanks for ruining the mood."

"Sorry, I'll do better next time. I'll pay for Club Royal to make it up to you."

Eventually school ended and everyone was free to go. Kouji ended up taking Aoi home because he didn't want to see some random Twitard attack the language teacher because of her opinion. Basically, she saved everyone that didn't want hear another word of authors that ruin the name of vampires.

Akira did end up in the hospital again with more serious injuries than the last. The green eyed teen wanted to file a restraining order concerning Rinse and her goons.

Sora was waiting for Yayoi in front of Shinji's house. The gold eyed college student grinned as he waved at her directing her this way.

"How is he?" Yayoi asked.

"Not good." Sora answered. "He is heartbroken because Mika chose a fictional character over him. Personally, I see this as an opportunity for him to go out with someone else…like me!"

Yayoi didn't know if he was being serious or not but Sora quickly changed the subject and forced himself inside Shinji's house with a copy of Shinji's house key.

"How did you get that?" the redhead asked.

"Well, you know Shinji's older sister Fuji? Well, she's friends with my brother Skye and let's just say that the group the two are in, they all make like five copies of the house key. Awesome ain't it?'

"Actually...wouldn't that promote stealing?"

Sora paused for a moment before answering. "Nah, there's nothing worth stealing for anyone."

The two let themselves into the hacker's house. The place seemed deserted. One would think that because Shinji's parents and elder sister are never home. His sister Fuji though is justified by the fact she is an archeologist that goes around the world finding new things. She wasn't like her brother who made new firewalls to crack the greatest of all security systems.

As they made it upstairs, they came across wires scattered across the floor as well as clothes and other miscellaneous items. Once they reached Shinji's room, they could see it was a complete mess. And when they meant mess, it really was a deep forest. Everything in the hacker's room was scattered about. School supplies were lost somewhere on the floor and his X-Box 360 was covered in blankets. The poor purple haired teen was on the bed, not moving.

Yayoi instantly jumped to conclusion. "Oh my god! He didn't…kill himself did he?"

"No. I doubt it. He probably just put an all nighter." The energetic college student went over to his underclassmen and shook his back. "Hey wake up, you can't keep skipping school."

"It doesn't matter anymore…my life is ruined…" Shinji managed to get out.

Sora could tell he hadn't been sleeping well for an entire week. If he were to look at his face, he would see dark rings under his eyes and even red eyes in the retina.

"Hey, don't let love get you down~" He began to sing but then silenced himself up and continued. " Listen, you can't let Higushi beat you. If you do, then you won't be able to prove that Twilight is a bad influence to all young ladies alike and then some."

"I don't care anymore…" Shinji murmured. "It was a bad idea to start that website."

"That's not true!" Yayoi interrupted. "You enlightened millions of people out there! People who think like you! They know the series is corrupted and those that are corrupted will make your life miserable…but you can't give up Shinji! Not for your sake and not for Mika's!"

Shinji still didn't seem convinced. "But she hates me."

"Over a fictional character?" Sora asked. "That's a pretty lame excuse to break up. Tell you what Shinji, I'll send you a secret tactic that can prove your better than Edward Cullen. If you can prove in her eyes that you can beat him, she'll fall back in love with you and everything will be back to normal."

Shinji looked up at his sempai, "Really Sora?"

"Really, and you know what? I'll get Fiore to help with us. He'll dress up as Edward and you can be that guy from Hellsing and pretend to kill him and you'll be a hero!"

"Vampire slayers…that doesn't sound like it will work."

"It will, trust me." Sora said in a serious tone. "Since when have my crazy stunts fail to impress?"

The purple haired teen sighed before he gave a little chuckle. "Not once. Not even when you interrupted the middle school assembly just so you can prove a point."

"Right, and if I don't give up, neither will you."

Yayoi decided that it was best if those two talked it out. She really wasn't that much help anyway. All she did was move the plot along. What would tomorrow bring?

Me: TBC with 3949 words.

Yohko: You actually finished this.

Me: Yep, and I added more characters you see. God, I hate Rinse so much…Anti Sue! Anyways, here is a minor profile.

Skye Hihara is Sora's older brother. He's generally the only sane man in the family of cosplayers. However, he loses his seriousness as he ages and begins to act like his father. Regardless, Skye is the smart brother and while he tries to act cold, he generally just as sweet as Sora is. He wears glasses and is twenty three years old. He's working to be a scientist contrast to Sora who doesn't know what he wants to do in life yet. He currently lives in Ikebukuro.

Fuji Naruse is Shinji's older sister. Yes, it says in Shinji's profile that he has a sister. Since the profiles never say if the brother or sister is older or younger, I generally make them older. Fuji is twenty-four years old and isn't weak to the stomach like Shinji is. She is more athletic contrast to Shinji's intelligence. However, she doesn't have a good relationship with her brother and is never home as a result. She became an archeologist after she graduated from college and loves to travel. Her favorite place to stay is Ikebukuro.

Fiore Yunoki is generally Azuma Yunoki from La Corda D Oro except more of a jerkass to not just Kotoru but to everyone in general except Sora. Yes, he's in love with Sora and is jealous of Shinji because he wants Sora for himself. The token evil teammate of the La Corda Band, he considers many of them nuisances and wished they would all keep away from Sora. However, despite his jealousy, his never kill off the competition because he does see them all as friends.

That's it. The bashing is rather minor in this story because I was setting it up for the grand finale. When that final movie comes out, I'll finish this series. Breaking Dawn…epic fail. LO,L that's basically it. Reviews are appreciated. If you comment saying how cruel I am and about how good the Twilight series is, I'll just laugh at you because you can't do anything to me in real life. Ja ne!