Reba hadn't said anything the whole time they were driving back to the hotel. She still couldn't believe that Terry was dead. She really messed things up there. She really couldn't help it though. She loves Brock. Loved. Loved Brock. Looking over at him, he too seemed somewhere else as well.
"Brock, can we stop somewhere."
Looking at her for a split second he asked. "Why?"
"I just need a drink, a strong drink."
Not disagreeing with her he pulled up to a bar that was just up the street. "You know we just left a bar." Brock said looking at Reba.
"I know. Just, don't ask questions." They walked into a smokey bar and sat in a booth in the back.
Brock stood up after a few minutes. "What do you want?"
Brock nodded. Brock came back a few minutes later with a couple of rum and cokes. Reba immediately took a big gulp of the drink. "Slow down Reba."
"I just can't believe Terry is dead."
Brock looked down at his own drink sadly. "I know."
"I wish I could have gone to the funeral but considering what happened maybe it wouldn't have been the best thing."
Brock nodded in agreement. Thinking about what Reba had said at the bar he asked, "Do you really regret picking me and not Terry?"
Reba finally looked up into Brock's eyes. "Brock I will never regret our twenty years together. No matter how much I joke I loved our time together. Even after everything that has happened I wouldn't trade our time together for anything. They were good times."
Brock smiled, "Yes they were." Another question popped into Brock's head. "Do you ever wonder what it would be like if Barbara Jean wasn't in the picture?"
"Yes, I have." Reba hadn't expected herself to speak so freely but it was the truth. She had wondered about that. "I have many ideas on what our life would have been like. Would we still be married but fighting? Would we have gotten a divorce anyway? Would we have worked things out and be happily married still? I have thought about it but I can't really come up with any real conclusion to what would have happened."
Brock nodded. They sat in silence for a long while. Having a couple of more drinks. Reba and Brock were quickly getting buzzed. "I think maybe we should go. If I have anymore to drink. I won't be able to drive. I shouldn't drive now but we need to get back to the hotel."
Nodding Reba got up. To quickly. She got dizzy a little and fell into the arms of Brock. She mumbled a sorry and tried to move away but he wouldn't let her. He helped her out of the bar and into the car.
Arriving back at the hotel, Reba was feeling a little better but not much. Brock still had to help her to her room. Getting her key of her purse he opened the door and let her in. "Thank you for helping me to my room. I could have made it by myself you know."
Brock nodded. "I just wanted to make sure nothing happened to you. That's all."
Reba rolled her eyes, she was starting to feel like her old self again. "You want some coffee. Maybe talk some more before we both hit the sack. It's still early." He nodded and followed her into the room sitting down on the chair at the desk.
After the coffee was ready she handed him a cup and sat across from him on the bed. "So..."
They both laughed. "You know this is dumb. We have known each other for about 25 years and we are unable to strike up a conversation."
"Well, usually when we talk we always fight."
"Yes we do."
"No we don't."
"See." Brock said smiling.
Reba smiled slightly. Reba looked down at her coffee sadly. "This coffee isn't doing anything for me."
Brock nodded. "Me either."
Reba set the coffee down and went over to the little fridge. "Ah ha!" She smiled holding up to little bottles of vodka. She handed one to Brock and they clinking the bottles and taking their first gulps.
A few minutes later they were both feeling a bit looser. Reba was laying across the bed as they talked and laughed about old times with Terry and during their marriage. Reba then proceded to bring up a moment when Brock played dress up with Cheyenne.
Reba was laughing and Brock was looking sullen but you could see a hint of a smile. "I still have the pictures I took."
"You show those pictures so anyone and I'll..."
Reba sat up on her elbows. "You'll what?"
"That's what I thought." Reba smiled but that soon faded. "What happened?"
Brock looked up. "What do you mean?"
Reba scooted to the end of the bed. "What happened with us? Why didn't it work?"
Brock was stunned. They had NEVER brought up this subject before. Running his fingers through his hair he shrugged. "I don't know."
"Was I not good enough? Was I really conrolling? Did I push you away?" Tears started coming to her eyes. She always wanted to know but she could never bring herself to ask these questions.
Again, Brock was stunned at her questions. Quickly Brock sat next to her on the bed and took her hands. "No, you did nothing wrong. Any man would be lucky to have you as a wife or even as a friend."
"Then, what happened?"
"I don't know. Maybe we grew apart or...maybe...it was me. We never really talked about our problems. We sort of just ran away or I did really." Reba nodded. "But don't think for one second any was your fault."
"Yeah...I'll remember. It was all you." Reba and Brock chuckled together. Brock brought her into a hug. It felt really good to hold her again.
Reba was also liking the way it felt to be close to him again. He smelled really good too. He always smelled good. "I'm sorry if I hurt you."
"I've gotten over it Brock."
"I have to tell you though. I do still love you."
Reba didn't know how to respond to that really. What he said could mean anything. As a friend or really still did love her with all his heart. After a while she finally looked up and faced him. "Wh..." She was cut off by Brock lips deceding upon hers. Not really knowing what to do except to respond to him, Reba was begining to feel the wildfires she always felt with him. Her arms found their way around his neck and her fingers found his soft hair. Reba was the first to break away.
Their breathing was heavy and they both knew that they wanted more. "Barbara Jean..."
"Don't worry about her right now."
Reba nodded but she knew this was very wrong. So very wrong. She didn't like Barbara Jean but she didn't want to her hurt either. She really wanted this though. She wanted this more than anything. "I don't think we..."
"I don't either but..." They nodded. They both wanted it. Their lips met again. Right at this moment, Barbara Jean didn't exist. Nothing was in their way of having their night. Sitting up but still connected to her lips, Brock stood in front of her and gently guided her to the head of the bed. Reba followed what he was doing and scooted back. Breaking apart for only a second, her head hit the pillow. Brock eased himself on top of her and they smiled at each other for one second before their lips connected once again.
End of Chapter