Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji or its characters in any way shape or form.

Warning: Rated T to be safe, there's gore in this story. Also there's some swearing. And crack. Generous helpings of crack. OOCness towards the end.

I hope you enjoy!

XXXXX

Dawn was Sebastian favorite time of day. He would usually finish his chores and preparations around the time when the sun was just beginning to wake up, but the household was still asleep. Birds began chirping, and though he had never particularly liked the creatures, at times like this it was quite soothing. As the sky began to lighten from black to grey, and ever so slowly to blue, the butler stepped outside. The air was fresh and clean, smelling faintly of the flowers that were slowly coming to life. A slight breeze brushed through his ebony locks and felt cool against his flawless face. He closed his dark crimson eyes and took in a deep breath, allowing the peaceful feeling of the world to caress his entire being.

Humans and demons generally disagreed on the concept of beauty, but Sebastian could not imagine that anyone of either variety would find this moment any less than magnificent.

But alas, a moment such as this never lasts, and soon the time would come to awaken the other servants. The idea of those bumbling idiots re-destroying everything he had worked all night to repair put a pit in Sebastian's stomach. After a night of calm and quiet, the ruckus that those three caused from the moment they got up was like being punched in the face by a gorilla who was wearing multiple large rings on each finger. Unpleasant to say the least.

But as unpleasant as it was, they still had to be woken up. Sebastian returned to the house, taking one last yearning glance at the serene morning he was leaving behind.

Upon nearing the servants' quarters, Sebastian debated who he should wake up first. Or, to be more accurate, who would cause the least damage in the short time it took to wake up the other two. (Un)Fortunately for Sebastian, he did not have to make this decision, as a loud crash rang through the hallway behind him. Sebastian turned around, hoping with every fiber of his being that it was just someone breaking in.

No such luck.

Sitting awkwardly amongst the shards of broken china sat Maylene, who apparently (surprise surprise) had tripped while carrying an ungodly number of dishes. Those unfortunate dishes were now smashed all over the floor, hours of intricately hand painting blue and purple floral designs wasted. Sebastian momentarily felt sorry for whoever had spent the time to paint those tiny flowers on the plates; valuable time had been taken from them by this clumsy maid.

"Se-Sebastian! I'm so sorry! We were trying to help you with your chores to make up for yesterday...but I fell. Please don't be angry Sebastian!" she said quickly.

"We? You mean..."

"Bard is in the kitchen making bochan's breakfast and Finni is watering the flowers in the garden. They wanted to help you out too!"

His heart began pounding so loud he was sure his chest would burst. They were trying to help him? This could only end in disaster. Sebastian played out every possible scenario in his head in a matter of seconds and began to feel disoriented as he tried to figure out what he should do.

"Maylene, start cleaning up here and do not take any more dishes out. If you will excuse me I have other matters to attend to."

Before she could respond, the butler bolted to the kitchen, hoping to arrive before the inevitable explosion. Even with demonic speed, there was no guarantee he could save the newly repaired kitchen before it once again met its demise.

Sebastian flung the door open just in time to see Bard with flamethrower in hand, pointed directly at the helpless blueberry scones he had given life to mere moments ago. As the trigger was squeezed on the deadly weapon, the demon leaped across the room and tore it from the pyromaniac's hands, simultaneously startling the chef and rescuing the baked goods from certain doom.

"Wha..." asked the wide-eyed cook, staring at his empty hands.

"What exactly do you think you are doing?" snapped the angry butler, who was now in possession of the spontaneously disappearing flamethrower.

"Sebastian? You took my flamethrower, you bastard! What was that for?"

"I think you know very well by now that flamethrowers are not for cooking, as I have reminded you several times a day since you first arrived here."

"And I have told you every day, this is art!"

"No. Destroying the kitchen is not art." he declared, picking up the tray of scones and popping

them into the oven. "Please stand here and make sure these don't burn. I will return in 10 minutes. Until then, stand here and don't do anything destructive or 'artistic'."

"Augh, you never understand, Sebastian." the cook protested. But Sebastian had said 'stand here' twice, showing he meant business. He knew better than to argue with that.

"Please excuse me", said the butler, who of course took the flamethrower captive as he went out to the garden.

Outside, a small blonde man was watering the flowers. Much to Sebastian's surprise, everything seemed fine. Nothing was dead yet, weeds had not taken over the garden and there were no deadly pesticides to be found. Just a gardener watering plants. How unusual.

Finni noticed the other man's presence and waved enthusiastically before running over to him. Water clumsily sloshed around in the clear bottle he astonishingly didn't drop.

"Good morning Sebastian!"

"Good morning. May I ask what happened to your watering can?"

"Ohh, it's inside. I wasn't watering the plants, I was fertilizing them. The nice man at the flower shop said that vinegar makes plants grow so I took this from the kitchen to use on the plants. Was that alright, Sebastian?"

No. It was not alright.

"Vinegar is a weed killer, and if used in excess it will kill other plants as well. I figured that as the gardener, you would know such a thing."

Sebastian knew what was coming next.

Finni's eyebrows knitted together and he began to sniffle.

3...2...1

"Waaaaaaaaahhhh!" He fell to his knees and dropped the bottle of vinegar on the ground, murdering a patch of grass in the process. The demon stared at the pathetic creature before him with mild disgust and irritation.

"Honestly, such behavior." he said, helping the sobbing boy to his feet.

"I'm s-s-sorry Sebastian...I was tr-trying to help you."

"It's quite alright. Just water the remaining plants and please use the regular fertilizer next time."

"Y-yes Sebastian."

He returned again to the kitchen, which fortunately was still intact. Sadly however, breakfast was not. The scones were not burnt or exploded, but instead had become a pile of crumbs.

"Oh, Sebastian! I was checking to see if they were done, so I cut them in half and...they sort of fell apart."

Sebastian sighed. This was frustrating, but at least he had prepared several other dishes. He always did this, figuring that one would suit his master's tastes.

"I see. In that case we will have to make do with what we have."

"About that..." The ex-soldier fidgeted nervously and lit another cigarette. "I sort of...blew those up...before you got here...I forgot to mention it."

Sebastian checked his watch. 6:45 am. It would be time to wake up the young master soon. And of course tell him that his expensive tea set had been obliterated, breakfast had been ruined and his flowers were being slowly burned to death by acid. He was not going to be pleased.

But there was hope yet. He had 15 minutes. Not enough time to remake the high-quality breakfast that had just been heartlessly destroyed, but enough time to make something. After shoving Bard out of the kitchen and taking a quick look through the cabinets, he had a few ideas. This might work out after all.

XXXXX

15 minutes later, Sebastian knocked on the door to his master's room and let himself in. He opened the curtains, allowing the sun to shine in and causing his master to delve deeper into his blankets.

"It's time to wake up, bochan. The tea today is Imperial Earl Grey. For breakfast I have prepared an Italian herb fritata, a raspberry and granola parfait and cinnamon French toast topped with fresh cream and blueberries. What will suit your taste this morning?"

"What time is it, Sebastian?" he asked, ignoring the culinary feat that had just been achieved.

"7:00, just like every day, young master."

Ciel bolted upright.

"7:00? Sebastian, you idiot! I have a guest arriving in half an hour! I told you to wake me up early today!"

"Excuse my rudeness bochan, but I do not believe you informed me of such an event."

"I did! I told you last week, remember?"

"Bochan, I apologize, but I do not recall."

"Stop playing around, Sebastian! This is a very important meeting, how could you forget?"

"I didn't forget, I was never informed"

"How dare you argue with me! You pathetic excuse for a butler, on your knees, now!"

Sebastian complied, wondering what was going through his young master's head. The child got out of bed and stood before the kneeling man.

"Kiss my feet." he commanded. It came as a mild shock to the butler. He had never been punished in this manner before, and it was mildly humiliating. Demons were not supposed to submit to humans like this.

"I'm waiting, Sebastian."

He wanted to argue. He wanted to refuse and tell his master that it was not his fault that he didn't know about the appointment. It was true, he really didn't. At times the master would neglect to tell him these things, and both were very aware of it. He could have brought up another instance to remind him that this had happened before and everything turned out fine. But before he could do that, a small hand ferociously pushed his head to the ground, causing his lips to collide with the boy's feet.

"There. I trust you won't be 'forgetting' any more of my appointments, will you?"

"No my lord, I will not." He didn't feel like debating this matter at the moment. The boy was in a foul mood.

"Good. You may stand." The butler stood up, dressed his master for the day and went to exit the room.

"Oh yes, Sebastian." Ciel called back to him "You can just throw breakfast out. I will be having tea with Lord Blackmoore when he arrives. Go make some pastries or something."

"Yes, my lord." Sebastian responded less than happily as he exited to make hasty preparations for the arrival of the surprise guest.

XXXXX

Lord Blackmoore was a ghastly man. He was the owner of a line of factories in the United

States that The Funtom Company wished to purchase, and he was the crudest most ill-mannered person Sebastian had ever encountered in all his years. He had been born into a wealthy family with many servants, one of whom eloped with his mother when he was only a young child. His father spent most of his life telling him how his son should never run off with a 'filthy slave', because he was too beautiful. The result was a deep hatred of all domestic servants and unadulterated narcissism.

Sebastian hated Lord Blackmoore. Absolutely loathed him to the point where it would become physically painful. The only way he could keep from strangling and dismembering the man was to fantasize about strangling and dismembering him. At the moment he was imagining hanging him off the balcony with a noose made of barbed wire. It was a lovely image.

Which of course was wrecked by a few snaps of the cretin's fingers.

"Hey Jeeves, I'm outta tea here and the cup's not gonna fill itself."

With an exaggerated smile and an obscenely kind 'of course sir', Sebastian re-filled the putrid man's teacup. Upon getting closer, he realized that this man even smelled horrid. Apparently it was in fashion to bathe in gallons of contrasting colognes every morning. Just as this thought finished forming in Sebastian's brain, Lord Blackmoore whipped out a small crystal bottle and doused himself in yet another new scent. He poured some on his hands and ran them through his greasy yellow locks. Sebastian almost gagged at the stench, but forced it back. That would be most improper, and he was going to use good manners even if certain people chose not to.

Through the cloud of perfume smoke, one blue eye mocked him. Ciel also couldn't stand Blackmoore, especially since he insisted on calling him 'kiddo'. But he loved to watch Sebastian suffer. It was really the only reason he had invited him over; they could have just as easily had this meeting over the phone.

Sebastian glared back, and Ciel smirked. He was loving this too much. Especially when tea sprayed from his guests mouth all over the butler's uniform.

"Hello? No sugar? Come on Jeeves this is the third time you've done this!"

Sebastian calmly added sugar to the tea and returned to his master's side. His was face now flushing with anger that he was not bothering to hide and his eyes were beginning to lighten to a reddish pink. He was absolutely boiling inside and felt that if he had to be here much longer he was going to burst.

Of course, there was a certain young child present who thought raging demons were hilarious.

"Sebastian, you don't look so good. Perhaps you are coming down with a fever?" Ciel said in sweet mock concern.

Blackmoore looked up from admiring his caramel eyes in his spoon and examined the butler.

"You do look sick. Why is it you're always sick when I visit?" he asked before turning to the amused child across the table. "Hate to break it to you kiddo, but I think its time to get a new butler. This one's broken or something"

It took everything in Sebastian's arsenal to remain calm.

"And you know, he's kinda got freaky eyes. They're red. What's up with that? He's like the boogeyman or a vampire or something."

Demon. I'm a demon. A demon who wants to kill you. So very very much.

"Also, what's with these cookie things? They're weird."

Those aren't 'cookie things'. Those are lemon tarts and they most certainly are not weird.

"And another thing..."

Sebastian didn't hear the rest, he just tapped gently on his young master's back; a signal that the child interpreted properly as 'if you don't dismiss me now, I will tear this bastard's head off'.

"Sebastian, you're free to go."

Thank you thank you thank you.

He bowed and exited before heading towards his own room. He needed a short break, maybe 2 minutes, just to calm down. Then he could get back to work with a level head and carry on like normal.

Of course, this was too much to ask.

A series of crashes, explosions, screams and 'waaaahhhh' s rang through the mansion, of course followed by an eloquent 'ho ho ho'. Sebastian could only imagine the damage that had been done to the mansion in the short period of time that he had been serving tea. And of course, he would need to fix it.

XXXXX

It was 6:00. Just past dinner time, and a certain butler was exhausted out of his mind. An entire wing of the mansion had been exploded, all breakable things had been reduced to powder and every single living thing on the property had been sent to an early grave. He had been sent running around the house from end to end, from top to bottom ridding it temporarily of death and destruction so that the over-zealous guest wouldn't deride him for his staff's careless mistakes. Just to join in the fun, Ciel would call him to the room every few minutes to ask him to tie his shoes or open the window.

On top of that, the cat he usually visited to calm himself down was nowhere to be found.

It was silent at the moment, so Sebastian knew he had to get away fast before someone else called for him. He managed to get to a rarely used spare bedroom and locked the door.

He stood in the corner of the room with his forehead resting against the wall. All day he wanted to kill something. Completely annihilate every person in this mansion and then go to town and have a nice relaxing killing spree. But now, he was far too tired for that and wanted instead to curl up in a ball and die. That sounded wonderful.

But instead of dying, Sebastian took the next several minutes to breathe. And of course, imagine brutally torturing the three insolent morons who called themselves servants. That always made him feel better.

Feeling calm and collected, the butler decided it was time to leave the corner. It was almost the end of the day, and any damage that could have been done already had been. The guest had left right after the unjustifiably long meeting and the young master would likely be in a good mood, as he had just acquired new factories. Besides, he was catching up on paperwork anyway so there wouldn't be much trouble from him. Sebastian unlocked the door and stepped out of the room, ready for a rather quiet evening.

Oh was he wrong.

It took a few moments for his brain to even register what was before him. His mouth dropped open and his entire body froze. The world moved in slow motion. He began to feel dizzy and sick. How on earth did this happen?

The hallway was literally gone. Gone. He was standing on grass. There were birds flying above his head. He could see the sky and the clouds. The hallway was completely gone.

Half the mansion had been destroyed. How in the hell did he not hear an explosion?

His senses kicked back in and he realized that his bochan could have been hurt. Panicked, he rushed back to the part of the mansion that was intact and (rudely) burst into his master's room.

"Bochan! Are you alright?"

"Sebastian! What have I told you about suddenly entering my room like that!"

"My apologies bochan, I thought you might have been injured when the mansion was destroyed."

"Oh that? No I'm fine."

"We should probably stay in the townhouse until repairs are made."

"That isn't needed. You can take care of it, can't you Sebastian?"

NO you insolent little prick. No I can't! Why don't you try building a mansion some time? It's not easy!

"Yes, my lord. Do you require anything else?"

"I said I'm fine. Just go fix that and then draw me a bath."

'Just go fix that'. Just go fix that? It's not something I can just go fix, it's half a mansion! Even for me it will take a few days you ungrateful little brat!

"Well, go Sebastian. You shouldn't just be standing around here, I have things to do."

"Of course you do, bochan."

"Oh and by the way, I found that cat you've been hiding from me in the garden. I sent it off to the shelter because it was making me sneeze." said the heartless child.

The demon suppressed his boiling rage enough so that the young noble survived. But he didn't speak, as anything he might have said would likely earn him some brutal punishment. He simply bowed and exited the room.

"Sebastiaaaaaaan!" hollered an evil creature who was currently infiltrating the nearby laundry room "Where are you Sebastiaaaaaan?"

"I'm right here, Maylene." he said, now standing in the doorway.

"Sebastiaaaaaaaaaaaaan? I'm in the laundry room! Help me!"

"I'm here..."

"Sebastiaaaaann? Sebastiaaaaaaaaaaaaaan?"

"I'm right here! IF YOU HAD BEEN PAYING ATTENTION INSTEAD OF SCREAMING, YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT BY NOW!"

"Se-Sebastian?" whimpered the terrified maid as she backed away slowly from the enraged demon.

Sebastian let out a deep sigh, pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes.

"I apologize for my outburst, Maylene. I must be going now."

"But Sebastian...I forgot how to fold the shirts..."

"Then perhaps you shouldn't be a maid, Maylene. Maids know how to do simple things like fold shirts. In fact, people in general know how to fold shirts. Your job is not terribly difficult, I promise you. I do it every day, and it doesn't take anything special. Any idiot could do it. Tell me, are you an idiot?"

"N-no...I'm..."

"Then perhaps you should stop behaving like one! And stop crying, it is disgraceful!"

The maid ran away sobbing down the hallway, tripping several times in the process. Sebastian closed the door of the laundry room and leaned his back against the wall, sliding down to a sitting position. He could almost feel neurons popping in his brain. He was slipping, oh god was he slipping. A soft giggle formed in his throat and he let it out without restraint. This was so improper; for a butler to shut himself in the laundry room and laugh after harshly lecturing a maid. Oh it was so very improper.

Sebastian decided that he had been idle long enough and he needed to begin 'just fixing that thing' before his master became angry. He giggled again before heading outside. On the way,

he bumped into a certain pyromaniac chef who had heard the yelling from before and came to investigate.

"What's going on here? Why were you yelling?"

"I don't believe it is any concern of yours. Now if you don't mind..." The demon easily pushed the human out of the way and into the wall. "I am off to clean the mess you made."

"What was that for you bastard?" Bard shouted back. Sebastian didn't respond, as he might end up killing the man. Yes, his desire to kill was indeed coming back.

When he reached the wreckage, the demon noticed that he was not the only one fixing damaged housing. Kneeling on the ground was Finni, who was helpfully repairing a bluebird's nest.

"There you go. Nice and cozy." he chortled. "I hope you like your new home!"

"Finnian. What are you doing?"

"Oh, Sebastian! I was just helping this little birdie rebuild her nest. It got ruined in the accident and I wanted to help."

"I see." He glared down at the poorly constructed nest and the bird that lightly rested on the gardener's shoulder.

"But I have a problem...I can't get the nest back into the trees...can you help me Sebastian?"

The butler smiled.

"Of course I can help you. How about you start to pick up some of this rubble and I go put the nest back?"

"Ahh! Wow Sebastian! You're so nice! I'll go start right away! Be sure to pick out a good tree so she can come visit sometime!"

"Oh I will. Don't worry." He took the nest and allowed the little bluebird to hop up his arm onto his shoulder. It chirped merrily as he searched for a suitable spot for the nest.

There was a beautiful oak tree just beyond the garden, where Sebastian stopped and looked at the bird with his glowing eyes. Finni was on the other side of the damaged wall, so he was unable to see what the butler was about to do.

"I think this looks like the perfect spot, don't you?" he whispered.

The bird chirped nervously in response. She tried flying away, not liking this situation one bit, but Sebastian's demonic speed was too much for her.

He heard a satisfying crack as the bird's neck snapped between his hands. Oh, that felt good. Exactly what he had needed all day.

After haphazardly tossing the nest and carcass into the tree, Sebastian returned to the war zone.

"Did you find a good place for the bird? A place where I can visit her?"

"Yes. I found the perfect place for her."

XXXXX

Late night. 12:00. Everyone was asleep except Sebastian, who was chopping vegetables in the makeshift kitchen which normally served as a guest room. He was relishing the calm, absolutely savoring every passing moment of quiet. He had barely made it through the day, and this peaceful time he spent alone was all he needed right now. He was so serene.

Until tomorrow of course.

The thought made him stop. He stopped slicing the vegetables and sunk to his knees. Tomorrow. He was going to do this again tomorrow. Clean up after those morons, deal with an abusive master and do god knows what...tomorrow.

Unless...

No. He couldn't. That would be...

Liberating.

Oh, the very idea of it...freedom from those pests...running things how he wanted.

No. That was not going to happen.

He stood up and began chopping again, trying to banish the absurd notion from his mind.

And then once again stopped...and looked at his knife.

It would be so easy. He could just end it. Right now. Just end it...

No more broken dishes, no more explosions, no more dead vegetation, no more stupidity, no more crying and whining and screams of 'Sebastiaaaaaaaaaan'.

That would be amazing.

But he couldn't.

Yes you can. Please, for your own sanity, just do it!

Sebastian took the knife into his hand and smiled. He was going to end this once and for all.

And throughout what remained of Phantomhive mansion, agonized screaming could be heard.

And then, at long last...silence...

XXXXX

The next morning was even more glorious than the last. Once again it was peaceful, but this time it would be an everlasting peace.

Sebastian opened the door to his master's room and opened the curtains, much like every morning.

"It's time to wake up, bochan"

"Sebastian..." he groaned.

"Yes, young master?"

"What kind of tea holy shit you're covered in blood!"

The butler casually glanced down at his bloodstained uniform and smiled.

"It appears I am. And to answer your question..."

"Never mind the tea! Why are you covered in blood?"

"With all due respect, bochan, I believe that is my business."

"It's my business too!" he screamed, before coming to a shocking realization. "Sebastian...what did you do to the other servants...?"

"Nothing bochan. They are merely sleeping in a hotel for the night, as their quarters were destroyed last night. I didn't think you would mind."

Ciel looked confused as his butler poured his tea and placed a silver tray at his bedside.

"Then why are you covered in..."

"Bochan, I have a right to my privacy." he gently reminded, removing the cover of the silver breakfast tray.

"But Sebastian oh my god that's your hand." Ciel screeched and jumped out of bed, trying to get far away from the left hand on a plate his butler had just served him. "Fuck, Sebastian have you gone insane?"

"Bochan, that language is most unfitting of a noble, please watch your mouth. And no I have not gone insane. Something was bothering me and I made a decision to deal with it."

Ciel was stumped by Sebastian's response, but his confusion did not drown out his horror.

"Why the hell did you cut off your hand? Is this some kind of fucked up demon ritual you never told me about?"

"Bochan, I find it offensive that you would insult my culture. What if this is a ritual?"

"Well is it?"

"No."

"Then why the fuck did you cut off your hand?"

"Because, bochan. I quit."

"Quit? You can't just quit, Sebastian it doesn't work that way. When things get frustrating you can't just chop off your hand and leave!"

"Oh bochan, I believe it does. You see, in the demon handbook..."

"There's a demon handbook now? Stop playing around Sebastian, this is a sick joke."

Out from the bloody coat he produced a black leather bound book. In shiny red letters it read Demon Handbook.

"This isn't a joke. It says right here on page 465, 'When things get frustrating, you can just chop off your hand and leave'".

"You're making that up!" he accused, snatching the book from his demon's hands. To his disgust, it read those exact words. "I don't care what this book says. You are my demon, and until you fulfill our agreement, you belong to me."

"Nuh uh, bochan. I quit. In fact, I'm leaving right now." Sebastian left the bedroom and proceeded to walk toward the front door.

"Sebastian! I order you to get back here this instant!"

The demon continued to walk away and the frustrated child started chasing him.

"That was an order! AN ORDER!"

"Your orders are invalid, Ciel. I quit and I'm going home."

Meanwhile, the servants were just pulling up to the mansion, and heard the argument going on. They rushed over to see what was going on and were astounded when they saw their beloved butler soaked in blood and their young master screaming at him to come back. After a few minutes, the screaming turned into begging.

"Sebastian, if you stay I will hire all new servants! Good ones who won't mess up! And I'll never invite Lord Blackmoore over again! In fact I'll fire him! I don't need those factories anyway! Please Sebastian! I can put myself through horrible torture and make my soul nice and tasty for you! Please Sebastian, you can't leave!" he implored.

"The answer is no, bochan. Nothing you could possibly offer will bring me back! You are a selfish brat and you have no consideration for anyone but yourself! I am going home and I am not returning until I can spit on your grave."

Realizing that he could not bribe the butler, Ciel tried to physically pull him back to the mansion. The result was rather comical.

"Sebastian come back here" he grunted, as he was dragged along the ground. When he stopped, the young Phantomhive figured he had triumphed, but was sorely mistaken.

"You three. Just to clear things up, as I'm sure even your combined intelligence is insufficient to figure it out, I'm leaving. I quit and I'm never coming back. That means you will actually have to do your jobs. But don't be discouraged, I'm sure your precious bochan will hire a new butler who he can torture to his breaking point. Maylene, I hope one day you fall and a shard of the expensive dishes you love to break finds its way into your throat. Bard, I truly hope you burn slowly and painfully for as many hours as I have spent repairing the kitchen. Finnian, I killed your bird. I would say 'see you all in Hell', but that's where I'm going and I really hope I never have to see any of you ever again."

Leaving behind the three agape servants and tossing his former master aside, Sebastian opened a portal to Hell in the ground and prepared to leave behind this life for eternity. But before disappearing into the fiery pit, he turned back to the group of shocked humans.

"Oh, and Tanaka" he smiled at the old man "Have a nice day"

"Ho ho ho" were his parting comments.

With a little wave goodbye, the demon let himself fall backwards into the portal, as if falling onto a big comfy mattress. Except this was not going to end so comfortably, as he was about to fall thousands of feet into fire, rock and ash before landing painfully on his back. It was likely going to crush his spine a little and he wouldn't be able to move for several weeks. It was impossible to be excited about such a horrendous fate.

Unless of course, you are one happily liberated demon, formerly known as Sebastian Michaelis.

XXXXX

Wow, I don't know about that ending or where it came from, but I wrote it at 4:30 in the morning and it made sense at the time. I think I'm just tired and thinking about my bed, so that's where the whole mattress thing came from. Pretty crappy I know.

It was kinda fun writing Sebastian snap, crackle and pop. I always wonder how he can survive with sanity intact.

Thank you for reading, I really appreciate it!

No flames please, constructive criticism only.

Please review! If you review I'll give you...*looks around for something to offer* Pancakes! Chocolate Chip pancakes with lots of whipped cream!