Attempt One


The first attempt at embedding a yaoi scene in Death Note was not long after episode 10. To make it as natural as possible, L and Light were simply put in a room and given a bottle of vodka.
However, the producer had clearly overestimated their ability to hold their liquor; afterwards, it was quickly decided that the minority of foot fetishists probably wasn't enough to outweigh the majority of people who surely would find the 'How many toes can you fit in your mouth' bet that ensued pretty disgusting.


Attempt Two


In the HQ, Light and L work alongside each other, being the only ones left for the night.

Director: Aand - Action!

Light: [facing the screens] Ryuuzaki?

L: Yes? [leans towards Light]

Light: [turns to look at L] Has anyone ever told you...

L: [leans further forward]

Light: ..that- ..L, get out of my face..?

Director: Cut! L, this is supposed to be a romantic scene, you can't sit there examining him as though you're counting his nose hairs!

Light: [covers his nose with his hand and glares] Hey! I don't have - !


Director: Action!

Light: Ryuuzaki..?

L: Yes, Light?

Light: Has anyone ever told you...

Light: [looks at L] ..that you look...

L: [leans forward (not that much, mind you), anticipating]

Light: ..half dead?

Whole team, including L and Light, burst out laughing.

Director: Cu-ha-hat!

Light: [turns to crew, still laughing] But seriously..! Who the hell dug this guy up from his grave..? [keeps laughing]

L: [flips Light off while also laughing himself]


Attempt Three


In their shared bedroom, L and Light are standing in front of each other.

Director: Alright, let's just skip the other scene for now and move on. Basically, this is purely fanservice. You're getting ready for bed and pretty much say
what you want. But.. please be nice, okay..? Action!

Light: [brushes hair out of L's eyes] Ryuu...

L: Hmm?

Light: [lovingly] Your hair is messy...

L: [after short silence] Now that was random.

Light: [snorts and starts laughing]

Director: Cuut!


Director: Action!

Light: Lllll..

L: ..?

Light: ..lllllll...

L: [starts laughing]

Director: Cut! What the [censored] was that, Light?

Light: Well I thought it might sound more seductive this way. Drawing out the 'Llll' a bit...

Random crew member: That was so fail...


Director: Action! [mutters] Again...

Light: L..?

L: Light-

Light: No, don't say anything... The more we talk the more likely are we to mess it all up [a/n: quite literally]. Just kiss me, L.

L and Light kiss (finally..!). L brings up his right hand to stroke through Light's hair, when suddenly

Light: [breaks away abruptly] Oww!

L: [takes a shocked step back] What is it?

Light: Ow! Ow, ow, ow, don't move, don't move! [brings his own hands up to where L's cuff is tangled in Light's hair]

Random crew member: I thought this kind of thing only happened with braces.

Director: Do I really need to say 'cut'...?

In the center of the room the crew is now running around the yelling Light like headless chickens, trying to disentangle the metal from his hair.

Light: Damn you, L! Oww..! This is your fault!

L: Well it's not like I like it any better. I have to use the bathroom, how am I going to do that now?

Light: [impressive imitation of the dramatic chipmunk]


Attempt Four:


Skipping right to the lemon, everything started out just fine.
Unfortunately, our director had failed to assign the roles of seme and uke, naïvely thinking that 'they could arrange that between themselves' ...
I won't go into detail, but this particular day of shooting ended with L having a broken nose and Light's face being slightly rearranged, a bruise suspiciously resembling a footprint across it.


After all those failures, the producers decided to simply leave out the yaoi. But because they still needed something to keep the plot going, they killed L. Bastards.

End


Author's note: Lol wtf? xD Oh well, hope you enjoyed it (^-^) Reviews welcome, but I won't beg for them ^^