Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. This story is merely my way of saluting her. I do not own any of these characters; I just manipulate their thoughts. And I'm not Stephanie Meyer either. I'm just borrowing her minions to do my bidding.
A/N: Sorry folks, just having a bit of fun with this chapter. It has almost nothing to do with the rest of the story, but it was quite entertaining to write. Here you go :D Cameos by your favorite HP characters! Yay!
"This is –"
"Yes, it is."
"And it's all –"
"Yes, it's all mine."
"You weren't kidding…"
"I live well below my means."
Jacob stared at the piles of gold, silver, and copper on the dank floor. The stacks were piled up across the dimly lit vault. Harry was leaning against the entrance, watching Jacob's reaction with a smile.
"You are so weird, Harry."
They were at Diagon Alley, much to Harry's chagrin and Jacob's enthusiasm. Hermione and Molly had insisted that Jacob be taken to the bazaar. First step was getting money to buy things. The ride down to the Gringotts vault had Jacob grinning from ear to ear. And the sight of the contents of the vault had his jaw dropping.
"You could buy a whole country with this money!"
"Which country did you have in mind?"
Jacob turned an amused smile at Harry. "You know…" he started saying as he slowly walked towards the wizard. "You don't have to work a day in your life…"
"Yes, I think I've said that before."
"You have," Jacob murmured, his hands on either side of Harry and his lips floating close by. "Which means…" he said, his warm mouth over Harry's ear. "We don't have to leave our bed."
Harry's eyes fell shut as desire coursed through him. It didn't help that Jacob was kissing down his neck. "S – stop. I am not having sex in Gringotts."
"Oh?" Jacob didn't stop his ministrations. In fact, he redoubled his efforts now, his hands joining in. "We have a key."
"That doesn't –" A loud gasp sounded from Harry, taking the rest of the sentence with it, as Jacob slipped his warm hand in. Harry was falling into a stupor now. He was lifted up with ease and brought to Jacob's level. With a soft laugh, they kissed in the damp vault.
"Don't worry," Jacob said, pulling Harry back. "Having sex in here is pretty gross."
"And here I was warming up to the idea," he retorted, capturing Jacob between his lips again.
The visitor was in awe as he was ushered around the expanse of Diagon Alley. He got eyefuls of brooms, robes, cauldrons, and wands. Instead of being stared at, he was caught staring more often than not. To get him out of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes was a struggle in itself. He couldn't get enough of the sweets and Butterbeer. Harry thought Jacob was about to take up permanent residence at Flourish and Blotts. He left Jacob, who was gawking at the moving pictures in the book, and pulled Ron along to find teaching material for the next year.
"You use these books to teach the Muggles?" Ron asked as the two men weaved their way through the store.
"I understand these books better, so yeah," Harry murmured absently after having spotted the section he wanted to be in.
After a few minutes, Ron wandered off to find his beloved Quidditch books. This left Harry open for attack.
Harry turned with an awkward smile. He didn't have time to register who it was as an obnoxious kiss was shoved onto his lips. He staggered back, wide-eyed. Romilda Vane was standing before him, looking entirely too pleased. The store was deathly quiet after having witnessed the display. Harry tried to keep his frustrated groan to himself as he backed away slowly. "I have waited much too long to do that, Harry," she said in what was meant to be a sultry tone.
"R – right," Harry stammered, blushing as muffled titters sounded around him.
"And now that we're both out of school, I thought that it was time for a fresh start," she continued importantly, inching closer to her obsession in the flesh.
"No. Definitely not. Not a good idea," Harry said rapidly, hoping Romilda understood at least some of the words he had said.
"I don't hold anything against you, Harry," she said, enjoying the way his name rolled off of her tongue. Apparently the only words that got through to her were 'definitely' and 'good idea'.
Harry jerked forward when he bumped someone. "Er – sorry," he murmured as he turned around. Jacob's amused smile caught him and he felt at once relieved and saved. "Thank goodness," he breathed, rolling his eyes at Jacob.
"Does everyone want to kiss you?" Jacob asked mutedly.
"Apparently, everyone thinks I'm the most eligible bachelor here," Harry muttered, flicking his eyes at Romilda who was now looking at him expectantly. "I'm – um… taken," he said uncomfortably.
Romilda's face fell. "No, you aren't. I know you broke up with Ginny," she said, her tone accusatory.
"Right. I did. Now I'm with someone else," he said, trying to reason with his obsessed fan.
Her eyes shone as though a momentary spark had been lit. "Oh, I see. You're playing hard to get," she said coyly.
The shop was about to burst with pent-up amusement now. Harry could feel Jacob doing the same as well. "N – no. No. Not – that… I really am taken," he stuttered, looking back at Jacob helplessly.
"And why do I not know about this?" Romilda demanded, as though she had the right to know every detail of Harry Potter's life.
"Um… I – I don't know…"
"Which is why I think you're lying. So here's what we'll do. You can pick me up at eight and we –"
"Whoa," Jacob interrupted. "You're asking him out?"
That seemed to be all Ron could handle, who was the first to break out into roaring laughter. The rest followed suit, unable to believe their eyes. These things almost never happened. To think it was happening to Harry Potter was amusing to say the least.
Romilda scowled, not pleased with being made fun of. "Yes, I am. Got a problem with that?" she asked, glaring up at Jacob.
"Oh, no. No problem at all," Jacob said quickly, holding his hands out in surrender.
"What?" Harry choked, looking back at Jacob again. "I'm not – no." He shook his head in revulsion. "I mean, um…" He turned to look at Romilda again. "No. No dates. Thanks though."
Romilda's scowl turned fierce. "All I'm asking for is one date. Is that too much?"
"No, it's not," she answered for him. "So you can pick me up –"
"He's quite obviously gay."
The store grew deathly silent at this. Well, most of the store. Ron was rolling on the floor, not even bothering to keep it together. Harry hung his head in defeat before tilting it at Draco. "Really? You just had to do that?" he asked.
Draco smiled graciously. "Yes, I did. Couldn't pass up the opportunity."
Romilda gaped at Harry. "Y – you – you are… G – gay?"
The shattered look on Romilda was as though ten puppies had just died in her arms. Then the murderous glint in her eyes shone as though Harry was the reason.
"Alright then…" Jacob murmured, stepping between Romilda and Harry before either could end up seriously damaged. He didn't have a doubt in his mind that Harry would receive the first punch.
"And he's obviously the boyfriend."
Harry didn't try to mask his defeated groan this time. "Malfoy," he whined.
Romilda's eyes went wide as she stared up at Jacob. He shifted his weight uncomfortably when he felt surprised eyes staring at him. "Um…"
"It's great to see he's about as articulate as you are, Potter."
"Oh my god, Malfoy. Shut up!" Harry said incredulously.
"Who's that?" Jacob asked Harry quietly.
Apparently not quiet enough. "I'm his ex."
A collective gasp sounded in the store. This was the greatest visit to the bookstore ever. Ron sobered up quite quickly at this. Harry blushed in mortification. "You're not my ex," he said sullenly, throwing a dirty look at Draco.
"Um, I'd beg to differ," Draco drawled sarcastically.
"And I thought I told you to shut up."
"Yeah, because I'm going to start listening to you now."
"We didn't even date," Harry said, looking at Jacob.
"Yeah," Draco added. "Just snogged."
Loud squeals sounded around the store as girls either fainted or squeezed their legs together. Ron and Romilda were part of the former.
"Malfoy, I'll sock you one!"
Draco conveniently ignore Harry, looking at Jacob instead. "How did you think he got so good at kissing?" he asked candidly.
Jacob glanced at Harry while biting his lip. "I'd never thought about it when we were making out," he said vaguely.
That did it for the rest of the girls and half the men in the store. Meanwhile, Harry was pounding his head against the bookshelves.
"Learned from the master," Draco winked, grinning without inhibition.
Jacob tried to stop from grinning as well when he saw Harry's utmost interest in bashing his own head in. He dragged the man away from the shelf and pulled him close. "I knew you weren't telling me everything," he murmured, smirking at Harry.
"Malfoy's not anything worth talking about," Harry said, loud enough to spite Draco.
"Always had a way with words," Draco said, rolling his eyes.
"So…" Jacob said, flicking his eyes from Draco to Harry. "How'd you break up?"
That set Harry sputtering and Draco laughing. "We weren't even dating!" Harry said emphatically. "We didn't break up!"
"He has commitment issues," Draco said, chuckling.
"No, I don't. You were a prick!"
"And you were a twat. See, peas in a pod."
Blaise sought out that exact moment to descend from the second floor. He stopped short when he saw the flushed customers looking on at the commotion in the middle of the store. He rolled his eyes when he saw Harry glaring at Draco. It was like he had never left. He made his way towards the middle, pushing past unmoving customers. "What the hell, Draco?" he asked, looking from Harry to Draco and back.
"Wanna see what you're missing, Potter?" Draco asked. He grabbed Blaise by the hips and pulled his close for an open-mouthed, wet snog session. Blaise's protests were lost in Draco's lips. The complaints were muted when Draco, quite expertly, maneuvered his wandering tongue into Blaise's mouth. Their hands moved to cradle each other's necks and fingers entangled with hair. It was another couple of minutes before the men separated, flushed and disheveled. Harry and Jacob were slack-jawed when Draco smirked smugly. Blaise kicking Draco's shins repeatedly dulled the effect slightly. "What did you think?" Draco asked, wrapping an arm around Blaise's waist to stop him from bruising any further.
"Wh – what was that?" Harry stammered. Flourish and Blotts was no longer the bustling store it had been ten minutes ago. His voice carried through the silent room.
"That was me. Snogging the life out of Blaise."
Harry could do nothing else but shake his head in disbelief. "Was that really necessary?"
Draco shrugged. "No. Not really."
Blaise scoffed. "He's just hung up on you," he muttered, throwing a dirty look at his boyfriend. Draco scowled back.
Jacob laughed at this. "Want to see what you're missing?" he asked, leaning down to gently brush his lips against Harry. A flare of magic burned through them as their breaths melted together. Harry rose on his toes, trying to get closer. Jacob smiled at this, pushing down to help accommodate Harry's ministrations. Harry's eyes fluttered open when he felt the smile. He stared into Jacob's brown ones, feeling a similar smile grow on him. With a soft peck, they separated as the smiles grew into grins. This time, it was Blaise and Draco who were staring with open mouths. "Something else, huh?" Jacob said, entwining his fingers into Harry's.
Blaise turned to Draco. "Why don't you ever kiss me like that?" he asked in disbelief. "That looked fucking fabulous!"
Draco tilted his head at Harry, silently questioning. Harry smiled, tightening his fingers around Jacob. Draco smiled back before turning to Blaise. "Because they are obviously in love," he said, drawing his brows up to look pointedly at his partner.
Blaise looked offended. "And we're not?" he asked.
Draco rolled his eyes. "We have great sex, Zabini," he muttered.
Harry and Jacob clamped their lips together when they saw an ominous turn in Blaise's expression.
"It's not great sex," Blaise said in an unusually calm tone. "It's unbelievable sex."
Draco laughed, planting a chaste kiss on Blaise. "Right, right. Unbelievable sex."
Harry buried his head against Jacob's arm to stifle his laughter.
"Anyways," Draco said. "Thought you'd died or something, Potter. Hadn't heard a peep from you in a year."
"No such luck," Harry chuckled.
"And where'd you find him?"
Harry grinned up at Jacob. "He found me."
"Oh, don't make me hurl," Draco and Blaise muttered in unison.