Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or Princess Bride. I make no money off of this.

Author's Note: Sorry for the break between chapters. There is now an order for future updates on my profile.

Also, order for the sequels will be Labyrinth, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty, Peter Pan, Snow White, Aladdin, and maybe Black Cauldron. I do want to do more, though.

Summary: Light is the Dread Pirate Kira, L is the "Princess" Ryuzaki, it's a tale of how True Love conquers all. BB likes his grandpa's stories. Not a crack fic. Warnings to MPreg, yaoi (Light/L), and cross-dressing

The Detective Bride
Chapter 3: Fight on the Cliffs

The small boat containing the three kidnappers and their victim reach a small section of cliff with a rope hanging from the top. Matsuda gets the rope and pulls the little boat near it while Misa puts a harness on him. He then straps Misa and Takahashi into the harness following with himself so that all three are hanging from the giant who is going to climb the cliff face.

Takahashi mentions something about their pursuer having to find a harbor because only Matsuda can climb the cliff, which neither of his accomplices answer as Matsuda begins to climb. As he climbs the little boat drifts away into the pass. It would probably end up no more than drift wood shortly as the waves of in the pass would dash it upon the rocks of the cliff face.

The other boat reaches the spot as Matsuda reaches the third way point. Ryuga had never liked heights and squeezed his eyes shut as a sudden wave of vertigo hit him. Matsuda is certain now that Ryuga isn't female, but he says nothing. What business is it of his if the Princess Ryuzaki isn't really a girl.

A small figure dressed in black emerges from the second ship and starts climbing the rope. He is dressed from head to toe in black, including a black cloth mask which hides his face. He climbs fast despite the impossibility of the climb. Misa looked down and gasped, "He's climbing the rope. And he's gaining on us."

"Inconceivable!" Takahashi shouted looking down as well, but it was true and he prodded Matsuda, hoping that the giant would move faster.

The Man in Black continues climbing at impossible speed, continues to gain.

"Faster!" Takahashi commanded Matsuda.

"I thought I was going faster," Matsuda complained.

"You were supposed to be this colossus. You were this great, legendary thing. And yet he gains," Takahashi told him.

"Well, I'm carrying three people. And he's got only himself," Matsuda said softly.

"I do not accept excuses. I'm just going to have to find myself a new giant, that's all," Takahashi shouted at him.

Ryuga wished he could find a way out of this situation, but the only way out involved plunging hundreds of feet to his death.

"Don't say that, Takahashi. Please."

"Did I make it clear that your job is at stake?" Takahashi shouted.

Matsuda climbs and soon he is at the top. Takahashi leaps out of the harness before the others could get situated and pulls out a small dagger which he uses to begin cutting the rope tied to the rocks. Misa gets out of the harness and helps Ryuga out of it, now she's certain that the princess isn't female, but it's none of her concern.

The Man in Black continues to climb, faster and faster, further and further up the rope. He's nearly at the top, probably only twenty-five feet from it, when Takahashi cuts through the rope and it goes sailing towards the channel.

"He has very good arms," Matsuda told Misa. He, Ryuga, and Misa were all standing at the cliff's edge looking down. All three are impressed by the Man in Black who was holding on to the rockface delicately.

"He didn't fall? Inconceivable!" Takahashi shouted.

"You keep using that word - I do not think it means what you think it means," Misa said. "My God! He's climbing."

The Man in Black is climbing up the cliffside, inch by slow inch.

"Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the Princess, and must therefore die," Takahashi said to Misa. He turned to Matsuda, "You, carry her." A brief look of confusion crossed Matsuda's face but was ignored. "We'll head straight for the Kanto frontier. Catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine. If not, the sword," he told Misa.

"I want to duel him left-handed," Misa said.

"You know what a hurry we're in," Takahashi said.

"Well, it's the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my right hand -tch- over too quickly," Misa said.

"Oh, have it your way," Takahashi said, leading Matsuda carrying Ryuga away from the area.

The top of the cliff is like the ruins of an old fort. There are crumbling stone steps, pillars, and arches.

"You be careful," Matsuda said to Misa. "People in masks cannot be trusted."

"I'm waiting!" Takahashi called out. Matsuda sighed and headed after him.

Misa doesn't like waiting, but does anyway. For awhile she practices some of her sword movements and hopes the Man in Black can use the blade that is strapped to his side as well as he can sail or climb, because if so it would be a very exciting fight. She doesn't entertain the possibility of the Man in Black falling and every time she looks over the edge he's inches closer. But she's impatient. She is eager for the fight.

Finally Misa hollers down, "Hello there." The Man in Black looks up and grunts, exasperated. "Slow going?" Misa hollers back.

"Look, I don't mean to be rude," the Man in Black says, "but this is not as easy as it looks. So I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me."

"Sorry," Misa said, sheepishly.

"Thank you," the Man in Black replied.

Misa does a few more practice swings and then looks back over the edge.

"I do not suppose you could speed things up?" Misa shouted.

"If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope, or a tree branch, or find something useful to do," the Man in Black said back. If Ryuga heard his voice he would have found that his cold heart beat again.

"I could do that. In fact, I've got some rope up here. But I do not think that you will accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you," Misa said. Her cute face bobbing.

"That does put a damper on our relationship," the Man in Black agrees, finding another handhold and pulling himself a few inches higher.

"But I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top," Misa said.

"That's very comforting," the Man in Black said, showing his grasp for sarcasm. "But I'm afraid you'll just have to wait."

"I hate waiting," Misa complained. "I could give you my word as a woman."

"No good. I've known too many women," the Man in Black complained, resting for a moment on the cliff face.

"You don't know any way you'll trust me?" Misa said. Her heart shaped face trembles and there are a few tears in her eyes.

"Nothing comes to mind," the Man in Black said, beginning his climb again.

Misa pauses for a few minutes before saying, "I swear on the soul of my father, Mogi Amane, you will reach the top alive."

The Man in Black pauses for only a moment and looks up into Misa's eyes, "Throw me the rope."

Misa dashes over to the rock where the rope had been tied and quickly unwound enough of it that she could toss it over to the Man in Black. The Man in Black take the rope and begins to climb, Misa struggles to pull him up at the same time.

"Thank you," the Man in Black said, reaching the top of the cliff.

"We'll wait until you're ready," Misa said as the Man in Black reached for his sword.

"Again, thank you," he said.

Both sit on a bolder and removes his boots to get several large rocks out of them.

"I do not mean to pry," Misa said, "but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?"

The Man in Black looked at the woman and asks, "Do you always begin conversations this way?"

"My father was slaughtered by a six-fingered man," Misa began. "He was a great swordmaker, my father. And when the six-fingered man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before he was done."

She hands over her sword, allowing the Man in Black to look at it. "I have never seen it's equal," he said, handing it back.

"Even now, this still brings pain," Misa said. "The six-fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one-tenth his promised price. My father refused. Without a word, the six-fingered man slashed him through the heart. I loved my father, so, naturally, I challenged his murderer to a duel...I failed...the six-finger man did leave me alive with the six-fingered sword, but he gave me these."

She reached up and touched a pair of scars on her cheeks right below the eyes.

"How old were you?" he asked.

"I was eleven years old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So that the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the six-fingered man and say, 'Hello, my name is Misa Amane. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

"You've done nothing but study swordplay?" the Man in Black asked the woman. Finding a woman who had studied sword was rare, but finding one who had dedicated her life to it, was unheard of. But he understood. Her father had created swords and was murdered before her, she was the obsessive type who would go to the ends of the earth for her revenge.

"More pursuit than study lately," Misa replied. "You see, I cannot find him. It's been twenty years now. I am starting to lose confidence. I just work for Takahashi to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge."

"Well, I certainly hope you find him, someday," the Man in Black told her, standing.

"You are ready, then?" Misa asked.

"Whether I am or not, you've been more than fair," he replied.

"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you," she said, standing as well and putting her sword in her left hand.

"You seem a decent fellow," he said, also holding his sword in his left hand. "I hate to die."

"Begin!" she shouted. It would go down in history as one of the greatest sword fights ever. There was none of that silly fencing garbage. Just two amazing swordsmen proving their knowledge of the sword. They don't speak as they test the other's skills slowly feiting and countering as they circle like vultures over a fresh kill.

Finally, Misa presses the attack, their swords cross, they head up a rocky incline, the Man in Black retreating.

Misa is obviously having the time of her life, "You're using Bonetti's defense against me, ah?"

"I thought it fitting, considering the rocky terrain," he replied. He was obviously having fun, too.

"Naturally, you must expect me to attack with capo Ferro," Misa replied, shifting styles.

"Naturally," he said, also shifting. "But I find Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro, don't you?"

He is perched on an elevated portion of the ruin and jumps to the sand below, Misa stares at him.

"Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa," Misa said, leaping off her perch and somersaulting over the head of the Man in Black, "which I have."

Neither stumbles as they almost literally fly across the terrain. Both are obviously masters, neither over thrusts and both know when to press the advantage. This fight is the thing of legends, think of the two best swords fighters in other works and then have them fight, and this would be the result. Up and over and the deadly edge of the Cliffs of Insanity approaches behind Misa.

The Man in Black has the advantage, he's better with his left hand than she is.

"You are wonderful!" Misa says, happily.

"Thank you," he replied. "I've worked hard to become so."

Misa continues to back towards the Cliff's edge.

"I admit it," she said. "You are better than I am."

"Then why are you smiling?" he asks her.

"Because I know something you don't know," still smiling even though she's inches from the cliff face.

"And what is that?" he asks.

"I am not left-handed," she said. The sword switches hands and immediately the tide of the battle turns. The Man in Black then realizes that Misa is probably the best swordsmen he had ever had the pleasure to battle, it was even more impressive because she was a woman.

The Man in Black retreats up a staircase, but he cannot break Misa's attack. He is desperately trying to find an opening, any opening. But Misa's attacks are perfect, the sign of a true master of the art, she was great with her left hand, but she was truly amazing with her right.

"You're amazing!" he said.

"I ought to be after twenty years," she replied. She manages to get him pinned against a stone ledge.

"There's something I ought to tell you," he said.

"Tell me," she pleaded.

He used his larger size to get her to back away for a moment and switches hands, "I am not left-handed either."

If the battle was something with both using their left hand, it was truly something else with both using their dominant hands. The Man in Black pushes Misa down the steps, faster and faster, and Misa finds herself unable to break his attack. Suddenly the sword flies out of her hand. She dives towards it, catching a moss covered bar and swings like a gymnist towards her sword.

The Man in Black smiles and lets her get to the sword before tossing his own sword casually to where it sinks in perfectly into some Spanish Moss. He then jumps over and grabs the bar, swinging over it and dismounting with a flip, landing on the balls of his feet next to his sword which he casually picks up in a perfect fencing ready position. One could just expect to see the little white face mask under his other arm.

"Who are you?" Misa asked, awe inspired.

"No one of consequence," he replied.

"I must know," she begged.

"Get used to disappointment," he said.

"Okay," she said, pressing the attack. A lightning strike would have been put to shame trying to match her speed. Yet, the Man in Black matches it. He dodges and parries her strikes with a perfection and grace that could not be achieved by another.

The six-fingered sword is knocked free again, and Misa spins, catching it, but she knows she has lost. She has given her all, but their is no hope for her to best this man. She wished she had completed her revenge, but even without that, she could die happy knowing that she had met her match, her equal.

Again, the sword flies from her grip as the Man in Black slashes at her fingers. For a moment she stood helpless and then drops to her knees. If he does not kill her than she would dedicate her life to assisting him.

"Kill me quickly," Misa said.

"I wold as soon destroy a stained glass window as an artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you following me either," he knocks her unconscious with the hilt of his sword, allowing her to slump forward, but catches her before she broke her nose. He lowers her more gently to the ground. "Please understand, I hold you in the highest respect."

He sheathes his sword and runs in the direction that the footprints of the other two indicate they went in.


The door to the bedroom opened and Ryuzaki stood there with a small smile on his face, "I felt like that when I lost to Light at tennis."

"Hi, mom," BB said, he seems a hundred precent better. He's still pale, but the story let him take his mind off his cold, and allowed his body to focus on healing.

"I brought you two some lemonade," he said. "I thought grandpa could use some, considering he's doing all the talking."

"Not true," Soichiro said. "BB is being a very active listener."

Ryuzaki smiled, "Good, maybe he'll be up for dinner."

He smiled at the two and shut the door behind him. BB was the reason that all names had to be approved by Light for the future children. Admittedly, BB resembled Beyond Birthday with more than just a passing familiarity, something that brought a chill up his spine. But really, what was Light expecting a man whose given name is a letter to name his child?

Certainly not Stewie.

BB had had a lot of problems in school because of his name. One of his teacher took points off his homework because of the way he spelled his name, well until Light and Ryuzaki had gone to the school and had a serious talk with the teacher in question. BB's name was not BeeBee or short for anything, or even BiBi in Japanese (though it was spelt with the katakana for that). It was simply BB.


L knew he should probably not be acting as he was. He couldn't help himself. Was Light really interested in him like that, or was it a trick of Kira's to get closer to kill him. Was Light really Kira? Could it be possible that he was wrong?

He knew that the Yotsuba Kira was the third Kira. He knew Misa Amane was the second Kira. And he was pretty certin that Light Yagami was the first Kira. But he didn't act like Kira should act.

Kira was childish and hated to lose; Light was mature and shrugged off loses like they were water on a duck's back. Kira had a god-complex and narcissim; Light was self-confident, but modest (he had even helped his sister over the phone while in lock up without letting his sister know he was locked up). Kira wanted nothing more than to kill him; Light...

Light wanted to love him.

His confusion was effecting the case, he knew it. He wanted nothing more than to let Light love him, but would that make him lose?

He hate to lose, he was a lot like Kira, without the god-complex, and even that could be argued. He was a childish man with a love of sweets that went unrivaled, some narcissism, a hatred for losing, and possibly a god-complex, he was the three best detectives in the world, along with a handful of others that were more like throw away aliases.

He knew the way that he treated himself would lead to burn out or even death, but he couldn't help himself. He saw himself as immortal as no matter what happened, if he died, another L would rise in his place. He was as much of a throw away person, as his aliases.

Could he still be a throw away if he allowed himself to love and be loved in return?

It had been a week since the shower incident.

And something would have to break soon.

Or else, he would break.