Because It Happens
Gary "Roach" Sanderson/John "Soap" MacTavish
Don't open fire; it annoys people around you. - Your Buddies
There had been times when Soap questioned everything there was about the Task Force one-four-one. These moments were usually spurred by the highly questionable, sometimes downright wrong, actions of his team. Like for instance the time Scarecrow was found crawling around on the floor of the barracks with his gear on, screaming into anyone's ear who fell asleep to, "GET YO LAZY ASS UP, SOLDIER! MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!"
Or when Soap happened in on Roach singing and dancing to Barbie Girl right when the Sergeant had turned around and said, "Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dolly-" while provocatively sliding a hand down his military issued pants.
Meat and Royce had promptly hit the floor laughing at their Captain's face.
That did not exclude the time Ghost used one of the Humvee to let off some steam by hitting any form of wildlife in his path and then going back and sticking signs up next to them saying, 'Eat Me.'
And Soap had up until then believed his Lieutenant was the only sane one on the team. (He found out much later he was one of the craziest).
There was also the soldier dance off (which Roach had won), the cupcake incident (no more ever needed to be said), the day the FNGs trained a puppy to attack Ghost on sight, the pole-dancing competition, when Roach tried to make a citizen's arrest on a donkey, when that same donkey was stuffed into Soap's room and gave him a nice wake up call the next morning, the day Royce had tried throw a flash grenade and ended up getting flashed himself when it hit a wall and bounced back, when Allen was made to jump up and down declaring "I'm a bright shiny star!" after asking Ghost why he was not allowed to use him as the main focus of his porno movie, when Roach had drop kicked Soap into his room and then spent the rest of the day running for his life while Soap hid out of sight and amused himself by opening fire around the younger man's feet, when Meat had found someone's stash of gay porn and had dumped it on the table in the Mess Hall, when they had suspected it belonged to Roach, when they found it out it did belong to Roach, and when Roach had made it his soul objective in life to drop kick every motherfucker who brought it up.
And that was only in the span of one week.
So Soap questioned the Task Force quite often, at least every five minutes (and if he didn't, he'd make sure to question it extra hard that night when he tried smothering Ghost for spreading lotion on his cot. Again. "Just trying to make it more comfortable for you and Roach, mate!")
It was a strain on his patience just to get up some mornings, and more than once he would roll over and shout a loud 'Fuck You' into the pillow before dragging himself into a standing position and punching Ghost until he woke up, too, just because it was good anger management. Or because he felt vindictive that morning, it didn't usually matter just so long as Ghost was hit.
But there were times when he could forget how downright insane the Task Force was, or be grateful for it, he wasn't sure which category it fell into yet. Times like when they went to the range to practice shooting from a prone position in two man teams and Roach was his partner. He liked it mostly because he had an excuse to mercilessly tease Roach about his porn stash and the little fucker couldn't kick him.
But mostly because he enjoyed watching the guy squirm.
"Captain," Like now. "Cut that shit out!"
Soap grinned and smacked Roach on the helmet a few times. "Focus, mate. Hit the target."
He waited until Roach was properly busy with his objective before pressing his knee up again, grinding it against his arse and groin. Roach yelped and flinched, causing him to miss his target by a mile and clip the edge of Archer's.
Ozone, Archer's partner threw a rock their way. "Watch where you're shooting!"
Roach narrowed his blazing eyes from behind his goggles on his Captain. "Is it really necessary for you to lay like that?"
Soap smirked. "Aye. I'm here to help your aim, have to be right snug with you." He squeezed the back of Roach's neck and twisted his face to look forward. "Now, aim down your sights. Focus."
Roach huffed angrily and shifted, cocking his neck and looking through his scope again. Soap let him open fire this time, feeling a little bit of pride when he managed to shoot up the target pretty good. After his target was taken down and replaced, however, he started massaging Roach's neck under his helmet, hiding a malicious grin because he knew pretty damn well that Roach was a neck man.
And the Sergeant was already shivering beneath his fingers.
"Roach? You're aim is getting a little shaky."
"No, it's not." His gun slipped, hitting Archer's target again.
Ozone and Archer both gave an indignant shout. "Fuck you, Sanderson!"
"Fuck you, too!" Roach snatched the closest thing in range, a stick, and chucked it at their heads. It hit Archer in the shoulder.
Soap smothered a chuckle and shifted on his elbow, raising himself higher to glare across at the other sets of teams. At the end of the line, Ghost was flipping him the bird, but Soap could see the edges of his eyes crinkled in a smile from where he had pushed his sunglasses up onto his forehead.
"Alright, enough ladies! Take down those targets or I will make you stay out here 'til sunrise!"
They turned back to their guns with more than a few grumbles.
Roach rubbed his arm over his dusty goggles and glared. "Bastard."
If it wasn't for the slight blush staining his cheeks, Roach might have looked intimidating.
Yes, Soap questioned the Task Force often. Quite often. But sometimes...
Soap leaned in and whispered something decidedly filthy into Roach's ear, laughing like mad when the Sergeant's face turned completely red and his fingers squeezed the trigger too hard, firing off a full mag into Archer and Ozone's target before they could even set their sights.
...Sometimes, Soap kind of liked the insanity.
A/N: You guys have not LIVED until you've watched what Marines do when they are bored. Review please?