Welcome to Hollywood.
Her voice is clear and high and just right. Her dance moves are sharp and tight. And her acting is going alright. So how do you add to p e r f e c t i o n ?
(She's not going to waste away.)
People clap, and they cheer her on as she puts the gleam back into Hollywood and the realism of hope ( - but oh god, there's dandruff in her hair). She just loveslovesloves this, and oh don't you too? And she'll just stay here and live her dream foreverandever (because she's a pretty little princess, just like in the fairytales).
But oh then, she can feel it slipping away from her soft fingertips (do you think they ever did any work at all?), feel it chipping away at her sparkly blue nail polish. Yet still, the lights shine even brighter (just to block her out).
The stage explodes with confetti, a mixture of blue and red, and purple and pink. Her lip gloss fades as she smiles, and her mascara smears over her prettylittleface (oh no, it isn't waterproof).
But don't worry. She cries r a i n b o w s .
The first piano Andre touches stains his hand with dust. The piano is quite simply beautiful, made out of shining carved wood and giving the note a clear sound. He instantly knows that he's fallen in love.
He manages to play a C major scale, letting his fingers get used to the feel of the keys, the dust sweeping over them as he continues to play. Still with the last note hanging in the air and a smile on his face (the first one all day), he looks up to see his mother standing at the top of the basement stairs, a watery smile still planted on her face.
Immediately, he forgets the piano and runs up the stairs, trying to give her an encouraging smile as memories fill his head. They end up hugging, and now he can see the stains of already forgotten tears on her face, and he hugs her tighter and feels the soft black fabric of her dress in his hands.
They leave after saying goodbye to his step-family, and they drive back home with his mother blowing her nose in her handkerchief and memorising pretty pictures in sparkly picture frames. And all the while,the sound of the note is still ringing in his ears and his first real song is composing itself in his head.
After that, music manages to break his heart, and then heal it once again (did you manage to find all the shattered pieces?). The endless pages of music and scrawled out lyrics makes his mother's eyes cloud over and his hand rest temporarily over the keys (and he swears he can still feel the dust beneath his fingertips).
God, he wishes he could hear his mother sing again (but she only ever sung songs about broken hearts and istillloveyou ballads).
When he's fifteen, he runs away (just like daddy). He gets into Hollywood Arts High School and renames it his home because he just knows that this is where he belongs. There are no more sad eyes or bad memories, and here all the pianos look exactly like his father's (just a little less dusty and little less beautiful). Here, music is never buried away with old photo albums and love letters.
Oh, and there's Tori.
No one remembers Robbie. Not really. They just seem to remember the odd boy with glasses and a puppet and a possible multiple personality disorder (no, not multiple personality disorder).
But they seem to remember Rex.
Robbie gets Rex for his seventh birthday. The hospital walls are bland, only some being littered with artificial happiness (bright blue skies, a smiling sun are all from picture books – and a Happily Ever After is forever). His little window only shows a dull red-brick building with a grey backdrop that does nothing to brighten his mood. Then in comes bright wrapping paper with painted on smiles (he's already seen the clown) and cloudy eyes. Torn patterns and lost ribbon reveal Rex, a pretend best friend.
For the next couple of years, Rex becomes Robbie's constant companion, the one that will neverever leave. Rex keeps all his secrets, the ones that he never tells his friends (he only leaves them in the end). Rex is the cool one, the one that he looks up to while everyone else decides to break down around him. Rex is the one that helps him, the one that protects him from all those invisible monsters that emerged out of the closet and his childhood, and the one that tells him the truth (you're weak, pathetic, stupid!).
He even takes him to Hollywood Arts High School (a final request, if you will). It's there that Robbie realises how much he's grown up – even if you can't see it – and in a way, he's slightly saddened that Rex hasn't grown up with him ([i m] m a t u r e). The young are always remembered more than the old, right?
Robbie is forgotten, but Rex is c h r o n i c.
She's a bitch. Yes, she knows.
But wouldn't you be angry too if you were hungry all the f.u.c.k.i.n.g time? If it felt like acid was eating away at you from the inside out?
(Only skin and perfection now.)
The hunger becomes dull after a while, merely just a buzzing noise that makes her feel a little numb and makes her act a little less human (and isn't all just so fucking happy?). And then in walks Tori, covered from head to toe in perfection – like glitter (oh please, she's too heartless to be jealous; too acid filled).
Oh, Jade has a new student to teach (runwhileyoustillcan).
It's a well-known fact at Hollywood Arts High School that Beck is Jade's, and that he'll be the one to stand at her side – a subtle smirk on his face that gets more a more similar to her own every day (she just drips acid). That the pretty white scratch marks are from her black stained fingernails, that those marks on his neck are from her teeth (and that those little stains in his hair are most likely her fault).
Beck is just her p e r f e c t distraction. (And no one else's.)
A problem child. A weird girl. A different person. Oh please, she's really only an actor, a singer, a dancer, an entertainer (a circus freak).
Still, the words of freak, weirdo, and 'just Cat' reach her ears, and still a smile in placed upon her lips, stained with the pretty icing from her favourite cupcakes; they match her hair! Did you know that they're her favourite meal? She'll have them any time: breakfast, lunch, dinner, tea time. Anytime! (And so The Hatter asked Alice to join his little tea party.)
Why is a r a v e n like a w r i t i n g d e s k ?
They find her with icing in her hair and the floor smeared with the same red that covers her arms and thighs (it matches her cakes too). Voices still echo through her head, and she's still smiling just a little bit as they lay her down on a soft bed. Somewhere, fluorescent lights are still blinding and shining and flashing on the back of her eye lids, and she's still getting the urge to throw red&pink confetti around. Gently, she hears a voice promise to get her help.
(And really, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?)
He's just so goddamnbeautiful, isn't he?
It's all a mask, baby. It's just skin (sharp bones press against his hand as his grip tightens on Jade – fuckiwontletyouslipaway). Nothing special. Not to him, anyway.
Really, it's all about being an actor, and acting is all about manipulating your face, your emotions, and he's got skill (at least, that's what he's been told). You want a sad expression, a happy one? You want to feel joy, feel guilt? It's all about c o n t r o l.
(Let it slip through my finger tips.)
When he meets Tori, he can see and feel the warmth that radiates off her, feel her happiness. When he kisses her, she tastes like cherry lip gloss and bright lights and her eyes still seem to sparkle without any mascara or eye shadow. She's just a little bit like a d r e a m (memories and dreams). Her touch is light and soft, and she smiles with genuine kindness.
In a way, he thinks he'd like to love her. But he'd only bring her down.
So he'll stick with the sharp nails digging into his hair, the smash of teeth and tongue, the pain induced pleasure; it's what he knows (tightened grips and broken eyes are all very, very familiar, and bruises have always seemed to stain his skin).
Oh fuck, it burns his throat. Just like whiskey.
(Tall bottles and broken glass and the smell of despair&blood&nofuckingcontrol&vomit.)
At a young age, Trina learns to just shutherfuckingmouth because every complaint and word she utters just earns her a glare and yet another tally to her b a b y sister's score. And after all, the only time anyone even wants to listen to her is if she's praising them. Or her sister, of course.
The only time she ever allows herself, or anyone else allows her, to open her mouth and let down her guard is when she sings. But of course, she's not even allowed to do that (boos and rolled eyes are the only types of encouragement she ever gets).
(Oh yeah, why does she do this again? That's right, because of that fabulous costume wardrobe. Not that she can act, of course.)
What she does love are the parties; the ones where the girls laugh as they're dragged into an empty room, the ones that have the sly smirking boys and mischevious eyes. She likes wearing her little pink dress that comes up mid-thigh (yes, she's quite pretty. But Tori's prettier), and her high::iwannatouchthesky::high heels that are a bright red. She'll let her hair down and her lipstick smudge over the rim of her glass, a tantalising smirk on her face as she dips her manicured finger into the glass and licks it off (oh, it's what the boys like).
Cocktails&Tequila&REDwine all make her forget about her problems, and she loves to partypartyparty.
What does she have to lose anyway?
FlashFlashFlash goes the camera, baby. Now give me a smile – that's it! Outshine the sun, but don't ruin your make-up! Otherwise the world might see all your dirty little m i s t a k e s. And no one wants that.
(Fuck, she's too thin! Put more eye make-up on her, you can still see those ugly little rings under her eyes. Come on, put on a smile! I don't care if you have a hangover, get to work now! Hide the vomit in his hair - oh, you think I care?)
Welcome to Hollywood.
Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious.
A/N: Review/critique if you like/hate/love/loathe, or if there's anything you don't understand. I would just like to point out that I've only seen the first two episodes (joys of living in Australia), but I think I did ok. PM me if it's not clear to you what the character's addictions/problems were.