Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Read "Naruto's Ramen" and "Neji and Ramen" 1st!
Don't Get Me Started
"Forehead!" Ino calls out to Sakura (who just happened to be passing by the Yamanaka flower shop).
"What is it Piggy? I'm a very busy person."
"Yeah, right!" She snorts, sounding exactly like a pig. "Listen, I heard that Neji and TenTen broke up!"
"What? Why?" Sakura's jogging in place, she really does have somewhere to go.
"Well, she said that he was a crazy, whiny, good-for-nothing, baby."
"Why would she say that? She's been in love with him for years!"
"Well…remember when we tried to get them together…"
"No. That was your job, I was working on Naruto and Hinata remember?"
"Yeah, but it was your ramen."
"Don't tell me you went overboard." Sakura sighs; she'll never be on time now.
"Well…just a little and now it's all ruined. TenTen doesn't like Neji anymore so she broke up with him and Neji…well he's freaking out."
"I'm never letting you go solo again. Face it Piggy, without me, your plans are crap!"
"I admit it! So what are we going to do?"
"Make a ramen-like statue of TenTen, I have to go to a meeting with the Kazekage. We'll see how the fake TenTen goes, maybe Neji won't be afraid of ramen anymore and TenTen will take him back?"
"Okay!" Ino heads of towards Ichiraku while Sakura heads towards the Hokage Tower.
As soon as Sakura could, she headed off to find Ino. When she did…well she could tell things were not good. Not good at all.
"Hey Piggy, why so down?" Ino was sitting on the bridge and staring down at the water.
"Neji took one look at my ramen TenTen and knocked it down. He said he's going gay and he's over girls. I told this to TenTen and she said she didn't care she likes someone else now. I broke them up because I was stupid."
"Aw, Piggy." Sakura put her arm around Ino, "You're always stupid. Neji and TenTen weren't meant to be. Besides, I had a feeling Neji was gay from the beginning. I mean do you not see his hair? It's time he accepted his inner gayness. It's not your fault!"
"You're right!" Ino stands up on the bridge and does her disturbing happy dance. "I'm a super hero! We'll get Neji a guy just as gay as he is! And we'll find TenTen a nice guy who'll treat her right." Ino smiles down at Sakura.
"That's right Pig! Feel the power!"
"Thanks Forehead. And I have a question for you."
"Did Sasuke break up with you yet? Cuz that boy needs to hug his inner self just like Neji."
"Sasuke's not gay!" Sakura held out her hand to show Ino the engagement ring on it. "He asked me to marry him last night, so there!" Sakura sticks her tongue out at the blonde.
"Maybe Suigetsu or Karin."
"Karin's a girl."
"She looks like a guy."
"Touché!" They don't like Karin. "But, let's work on TenTen first. Neji…well Neji is crazy. I only do sane people. Neji's your fault; you can't possibly screw him up anymore. You work on him. I got Tenny."
"Fine! I'll match Neji up with someone all on my own."
"You said TenTen likes someone else now. Who?"
"What? No way! I was just at a meeting with him!"
"Yeah, I know. Neji freaked when he saw them together."
Neji (who was getting saner by the minute) was walking towards the training grounds. He figured today would be perfect. Wake up early. See no Naruto. Train with TenTen. See no ramen. Go on a date with TenTen. See no Naruto. Kiss TenTen goodnight. See no ramen. And go to bed, to start the whole day all over again.
When he got to the training grounds, though, all of his plans died. And went to hell.
"TenTen? Why is your tongue down Gaara's throat?" Neji's voice came out weak.
"Hmm? Oh, did you not get the memo? I'm breaking up with you." And she went back to kissing Gaara.
All of Neji's saneness disappeared into nothing and he ran to hide in the Ichiraku ramen stand where surely he'd see Naruto and ramen and he'd forget all of this ever happened.
"Wow. That's really…messed up." Sakura shrugs. "At least it makes my job easier. All I have to do is get them together and demand they go on a date. See you Piggy!"
"Bye, Forehead." Ino says, thinking. Her job's going to be hard.
Hey people. Slight change of plans.
I've decided to make this into two chapters.