Some of them Pass Out at the End


That night, Tseng slept on an uncomfortable bed in a cheap Motel and dreamt of Reno in a Wutainese ceremonial gown. It was a pretty gown, and Reno did it absolutely no justice. Reno, on the other hand, didn't have any dreams – at least none that he could recall – and Rude suspected that he had a bad case of indigestion and couldn't sleep at all.

He was beginning to fear that he was developing a sensitivity to tomatoes and he wound up worrying about it for the rest of the night. Rufus, however, did what he always did. He sat in his leather recliner and stared at the blank wall until he passed out. He wanted to be ready for when Tseng finally came to kill him, but he could never stay awake passed eleven.

Tseng knew that though, and the sheer notion to think that Tseng didn't know was just plain idiotic as far as Tseng was concerned. Elena, however, was about as carefree as Reno. Only, she was conscious and playing with the neighbour's cat until it hissed at her and ran away.

Stupid cat, Elena thought, and she stared at the porch it ran under and failed to notice the five slimy creatures crawling behind her while one of them stopped and curiously regarded her before it proceeded to catch up to the others as they crawled by her house, passed her backyard, and passed the neighbour's house. Then they crossed the next couple of streets and a neglected shrub, and stopped in an abandoned warehouse where they began to spasm and pulsate grotesquely as they grew larger in size.

It would have been disturbing to watch if anyone was there to see it. But since no one was around, it wasn't that bad.


Tseng hated mornings, and he hated them even more when he missed out on his morning coffee. But he supposed it was his own fault for renting a room at such a cheap Motel, and he probably should have been thankful that there was a coffee room in their office. However, he wasn't. Tseng wasn't the thankful type, and he sat at his desk while Reno sat in the chair on the other side while wondering what the big deal was as he took a small sip from his cup.

"It's not like anyone will ever notice," Tseng explained. "And I don't see why it's such a big deal." Tseng knew that Reno would just do what he always did and that no one would ever notice anyway. It was just something Reno would do. He'd forget his tie and refuse to tuck his shirt in or even bother doing it up.

But Reno felt it was a big deal, and it was mostly because it was embarrassing. He was the only Turk without a new uniform and it wasn't fair, and all the while, Tseng drank his coffee and mused over how much Reno bitched about everything. In fact, he finally came to the conclusion that it was what Reno did best – he bitched.

Bitch, bitch, bitch…Tseng thought, and then he took another sip of his black coffee and savoured the bitter taste of Rufus' least favourite brand. Tseng bought it on purpose. He always did. Every single time Rufus sent him to buy coffee, he'd come back with that brand and tell him that they were all sold out of the other brands.

It made him feel good, and then he took another sip before he sat straighter and leaned forward. To hell with it, he thought. He spent all day listening to everyone bitch. Day in and day out – that was all everyone ever did, and that was about as exciting as his job was.

For the sake of the Gods, did he have 'Complaint Department' written on his door? For a moment, he wondered. Maybe he should check. He wouldn't put it past Rufus to actually change his job description without telling him. After all, the man had no respect for anyone and he slept with his sister. He also thought it would be best to make sure before he attempted to set anyone straight.

There was nothing that Tseng hated more than being wrong, and he quickly got up while Reno continued to complain and he looked at the label on his door.

No. It still read 'Director'. But Director of 'what'? Tseng suddenly wondered. It wasn't like there was anything to actually 'direct', and then he stared at the back of Reno's head and wondered how easy it would be to snap his neck.

Not only that, would he get away with it?

But then again, would he even care if he didn't?

No, Tseng thought. He didn't think he would care, and at that, he sat back down at his desk and took another sip of his coffee before telling Reno that, "I haven't had sex in ten years. Do you have any idea what that's like?"

Well, no. Reno might have been caught a little of guard with that comment, but he didn't actually know what that was like. He had sex with Elena in Tseng's office just the other day – yesterday, actually. In fact, it hadn't even been twenty-four hours yet, and when Tseng realised that Reno was suddenly thinking and that he'd probably hurt himself if it got too complex, he slammed his coffee mug down on his desk and watched Reno grimace – it almost made Tseng smile.

Just as I thought, he thought, Hung over as usual.

He could have a little fun with that and then he got concerned when he realised how much the concept excited him, and he decided that he was going to hate Reno more than he hated Rufus. After all, Rufus never kissed him and ran his hands wantonly along his back, and the thought made Tseng involuntarily shudder when he realised that the thought of making out with Rufus was worse than the thought of making out with Reno.

Gods. He needed to stop thinking about making out with Reno.

It was starting to worry him.

"Maybe…" Reno started, before he fidgeted nervously at the intense glare in Tseng's eyes as they fixated on Reno's gun. Oh to hell with it – Tseng was such an asshole and that was probably the reason why he never got laid for over ten years, and Reno was never really one for tact, and he blurted out, "Maybe if ya weren't such an ass, ya would've gotten laid by now."

What? Tseng thought, "You mean… Be… nice?"

"Well… it wouldn't hurt," Reno muttered, and then he sunk down in his chair. He knew that what he was saying was absurd. Tseng didn't have a nice bone in his body. He wasn't even sure if Tseng even knew what the word meant, and then he got concerned when Tseng simply stared off into space like he did the night he kissed him in the mansion.

It seemed funny then. But it didn't seem so funny now. In fact, that look was suddenly concerning Reno. Gods, Reno thought. He really hated it when Tseng went blank like that. It was so… odd.

Be nice, Tseng was thinking. It was weird. It was like his mind totally went blank after that thought. Just simply considering the concept was like blowing a fuse.

But he was nice… Wasn't he?

Didn't he threaten to cut Rufus' balls off only a couple of months ago if he didn't give the Turks a raise? And didn't he break the janitor's neck after pushing him down the stairs when he called Elena that word that almost made her cry?

Surely, Tseng was one of the nicest people he could think of. Why, just the other day, he kicked that kid into the river when he saw him take that other kid's bicycle – no one else would have done something like that.

The mere idea of Reno suggesting that Tseng should be nice was almost laughable. In fact, it was almost like a dam had burst and Tseng suddenly doubled over laughing.

He laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes.

Reno suddenly became concerned and wondered if he could escape before Tseng got even scarier, and Rufus stopped outside of Tseng's door and wondered what the hell that sound was.

It sounded like someone was laughing. But who the hell would be laughing like that in Tseng's office?


Back at the abandoned warehouse where the slug-like creatures were almost finished changing into their new forms, a tiny giggle echoed through the warehouse as a pretty pink skirt was finally completed and a long brown braid held by a pretty pink ribbon swung down towards the small of the back of the young woman who was standing there. She was pretty, she thought, and she stared at her pretty green eyes in the reflection of the broken glass and smiled at herself.

Very pretty, she thought, before the other creature who'd taken on the form of a man stood behind her and voiced her thoughts.

"Wow, you're pretty," he said, and she turned around to look at the blue-eyed man. He was good-looking. He had spiky black hair that was shoulder-length, intense blue eyes, and a well-built body with a holster over his shoulder that sheathed a very large and broad sword. His smile was charming and made him look even more handsome as her eyes trailed down his body while she prettily smiled at him.

Nice muscles, she thought, and then she punched him in the face for checking her out.


Gods, Cloud thought, as he lazily swayed in the creaking loveseat in the back yard of the Seventh Heaven. He was still mad at Rude for being such an ass, and he was still mad a Sephiroth. He wasn't sure if he'd ever get over Sephiroth. The time they spent together was short, but it was the best time he'd ever had.

He almost smiled as he reminisced over the way it felt to hate that man; the way it felt to block his sword and to plunge his into him. He even liked it when Sephiroth plunged his own sword into him over and over atop the old Shinra Tower – what was left of it.

It felt so good, and remembering how they took turns sticking their swords into each other made Cloud happy, and he hated being happy. Gods. Sephiroth really pissed him off. That pasty-skinned freak was such an implacable asshole – Cloud read the word 'implacable' on his 'word of the day' toilet paper that morning, and since then, all he could think about was Sephiroth.

Then he crossed his arms over his chest and frowned when he tried to take his mind off of Sephiroth and started thinking about Rude and how much he pissed him off instead. He liked his dark skin though. Rude had really nice dark skin, and he might not have been as taunting or mocking as Sephiroth, but he was still an ass, and Cloud liked the fact that Rude was an ass. He also hated the fact that he liked that fact, and he kicked the rock at his feet and then cringed when it hit an old lady in the temple and knocked her out as she walked by the backyard.

Damn, Cloud thought, and then he got up and muttered, "Serves you right," while bitterly staring at her. After that, he loosened the bolts on Tifa's loveseat and went inside to get a glass of milk. Maybe if he was lucky, Rude would drop by again and he could piss him off some more.


"Wow," the auburn-haired male said as he sat in the abandoned warehouse and watched the silver hair continue to grow passed the other man's behind as the black leather coat unfolded and was almost complete, "How long is that supposed to get?"

Honestly? The man with the silver hair thought, and then he admitted that, "I have no idea." He was also starting to worry that he might have made a mistake and that it wasn't going to stop growing while the female with the red hair stood a few feet from them and cupped her breasts.

They were large breasts, and the auburn-haired male turned his attention to her. She looked nice. It was almost like she was wearing hardly any clothes and there was a fuzzy red train hanging loosely from her hips, and she had shiny red hair and pretty red eyes, and he looked down at his red coat and mused over their similarities. His clothes were like the man with the silver hair, but his coat was the same colour as the woman's clothes.

"Wow," the auburn-haired male said again as he watched her smile while she continued to grope her own breasts, "those are huge."

Yes. She knew that, and she liked it as she ran her hands over her breasts once more and then walked over to the auburn-haired male so that he could touch them too. They felt great.


"Okay… So let me get this straight," Elena said as she and Rude walked down the street towards the Seventh Heaven after their shift was finally over. It was a long day, and like every other day, it dragged on too long because there was absolutely nothing to do, "You want me to kill Cloud?"

"No," Rude said, and then he adjusted his glasses and adjusted his tie while wondering why he said that out loud in the first place. He thought he was only thinking it and decided to blame his lack of inner dialogue on the fact that he couldn't sleep the night before and that his stomach was still upset.

True. He hated Cloud. But Cloud was about the only excitement in Rude's pathetic life, and Rude felt that without having Cloud around to constantly piss him off that he might wind up turning out like Tseng, and he shuddered at the thought while silently feeling sorry for Reno for having to spend the entire day with that ghastly looking man.

Gods, Rude thought. Tseng was such an asshole, and the fact that he was completely unaware of it made him even more of an asshole, and Rude never thought that something like that could be possible.

He used to think that Rufus was an asshole. But lately, Tseng was making Rufus look like a saint. In fact, Rude was almost starting to think that Rufus really might have turned into a saint.

Was it possible? Did Rufus actually change? Or did Tseng just turn so bad that Rude could no longer tell exactly how awful Rufus was anymore?

Then his stomach growled and he quickened his pace.


Tseng's stomach was hurting from laughing so hard and he wiped the tears from his eyes as he sat back into his chair again. Reno was so damned funny, he thought. All day long, that crazy redhead had said nothing but crazy things to him that made him laugh. Gods. He hadn't laughed like that in decades. Actually, Tseng couldn't really recall ever laughing like that and if felt good.

Yes. It would appear that when Reno didn't bother trying to be funny that he came by it naturally.

Be nice… Tseng thought once more, and then he chuckled again and muttered out, "Gods," while Reno continued to nervously fidget. Apparently, he'd spent the entire day unable to shake those words, "I'd love to find a way to take advantage of you."

"What?" Reno suddenly asked, and then Tseng suddenly wondered, Did I say that out loud?

No. Surely he only asked him if he wanted to go out for drinks after work.

"Drinks?" Tseng asked, and Reno uncomfortably nodded because he was a little scared while Tseng thanked the Gods that he didn't say the rest of what was going through his head out loud.


"Hm," Rufus muttered as he stared out of his office window and looked at the abandoned warehouse near the outskirts of town, "I really should have someone tear that down."

Then he sighed and looked at the street below while wishing he had the will to govern the world with fear again. But Tseng ruined that desire for him when he appeared to surpass him with a sheer nastiness that seemed to come by that ghastly looking man far too naturally, and Rufus was left with a sudden lack of desire to do anything other than eavesdrop and spy on people that he felt might add some spice to his day.

Instilling fear was nothing but a memory now, and an empty one at that. And he wondered if things would have gone this far if he didn't do what he'd been doing to Tseng in the first place.

Could it be? He wondered.

Could it possibly be that the secret to being an asshole was so simple?

Then Rufus shuddered at the thought and hoped not. He wasn't sure if he could go for over ten years without sex as Tseng had been doing, and Rufus suddenly envied him even more.


"It feels good. Doesn't it?" the woman with the red hair asked as the auburn-haired male gently squeezed and massaged her breasts. Her voice reminded him of an accent from the last world they conquered – Earth? Was it? Yes, he thought – he was sure that it sounded like that Russian accent while he kneaded her breasts some more and she smiled at him. They were soft and firm at the same time, and she looked like a comic book vixen, complete with fancy swirls of armour over her scarcely clothed body.

She even carried a strange-looking weapon that reminded him of two curved swords pointing outwards. They were attached to a strange looking handle with a circular contraption that reminded him of a steampunk design.

Was she supposed to look like that though?

Then he wondered and stood up so he could take a better look at himself and viewed his cat-like eyes as they stared back at him. That's odd, he thought. He was sure he made no mistakes as he studied that cute little blonde's mind. In fact, he even ran a second scan on her when they passed her that morning, and he pulled a huge sword from the sheath over his back and stared at the ornate handle and the crimson blade.

Shit, he thought. Then he looked at the silver-haired man whose hair was ridiculously long – down to his ankles – and he watched the other man pull out a curved sword that was like an over-sized katana. It was as ridiculously long as the man's hair – longer – and for a moment, he stared at the other man's chest since he wore no shirt.

It looked nice. But something was seriously wrong with what he was looking at.


"By the Ancients… I think I really like this one," Reeve said as he put the finishing touches on his new Sith and smiled. "You're much more efficient than your predecessor," he told it as he turned it on and smiled again. "There you go – the latest and greatest that technology has to offer."

After that, the Sith sputtered for a few moments and then its head exploded, and Reeve sighed while hitting the 'off' button on his remote. "Back to the drawing board," he sighed while Barret laughed at him and told him to give up.

He also started to worry that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to ask Reeve to fix his drill-arm. It used to be a gun-arm, but Barret had no use for guns anymore – he was a miner now, and a drill came in much handier.

It seemed like a good idea to get Reeve to give him an 'upgrade' as he traveled all over the world to find him, and it even seemed like a good idea when they both sat down and discussed it over breakfast at that nice little waffle house that just opened in the town's centre. But after watching the head explode on Reeve's latest invention when the man appeared certain that something like that would never happen, Barret wasn't so sure if it was such a good idea anymore.

So he changed his mind and wondered aloud, "What do you think about visiting some old friends?"

And Reeve decided that, "That sounds like a lovely idea," and completely forgot about the reason Barret came to visit him in the first place.


"All right! Listen up!" The girl in the pink dress yelled as she walked in on her three comrades at the abandoned warehouse and took a good look at each of them and wondered, What the hell?

Behind her, stood the black-haired man, and he smiled admiringly at her as she spat on the floor and lit the cigar she found on the ground and commenced to smoke it. Then she scratched her crotch and went on with her usual routine as to what they all expected from each other and that this planet should be easier to conquer than Earth.

"Unlike Earth," she said, "This place is in the shambles. They have no weapons of mass destruction and appear as though they're living in the aftermath of some prior calamity that they never recovered from – Piece'a cake, right?"

And they all nodded as she curiously looked at them again, especially the one with the silver hair. Is he supposed to look like that? She wondered. Then she shook her head and concluded that they'd never made a mistake before. Centuries upon Centuries of planetary take-overs and scanning the minds of passers by had always rendered accurate images.

So she shrugged and decided that it was time to get on with it while she continued to side-glance at him every so often.

Seriously, she thought, Who the hell were these guys scanning?

Unlike her and the good-looking and well-proportioned man behind her, those three were completely… off.

Well, except for the auburn-haired male. He looked all right. Or at least she thought he looked all right until she took a closer look at his eyes.

A Cat's? she thought, and then she shook her head again.

Well, she reminded herself. They weren't on Earth anymore. In fact, there was no Earth anymore. They sucked that one dry, and even though they thought this world was similar, there was bound to be some differences and she sighed before she decided it was time for them all to figure out who they were supposed to be before they went about with their plans of world domination.

At that, she introduced herself as Aerith, and the man standing behind her was Zack – that's what the black-haired girl that thought of them called them in her mind. He was a good looking man, and she caught herself unconsciously checking him out again.

Damn, he's hot! she thought, and then she kicked him in the nuts for standing too close to her.


When Rude and Elena walked into the bar, a glass of milk was immediately thrown into Rude's face.

Cloud had been waiting. He waited all day for him and was starting to get pissed off over how long he'd been waiting. But he knew he'd eventually come, and like clock-work, he did.

Yes! He silently screamed, and then he went to punch Rude in the face and missed because Rude saw it coming and ducked, and Cloud wound up clocking Elena instead.

Shit! He silently cursed, and then Rude grabbed him by the collar and decided that he'd had about as much as he could take.

That's it! Rude thought. Cloud had to die.

At that moment, Tifa went running to see if Elena was all right and she took her out to the back yard for some air. Then she sat her on the swinging loveseat before it went crashing to the ground and the overhead collapsed on top of her.

"Gods!" Tifa exclaimed. Why did stuff like this always happen? Then she wondered how the bolts popped out so easily as she tried to help Elena out of the tangled mess she suddenly found herself in.


"I'm gonna kill you," Rude darkly told Cloud.

Yes. He was gonna kill him. He really wanted to kill him. He wanted to kill him so badly that he didn't bother to move away from the door when Tseng swung it hard into Rude's back when he opened it.

"Gods," Tseng muttered, "Blocking the door like that is rude," as Tseng looked down and nearly chuckled, "Oh… Rude… Nice to see you."

Then he grabbed Reno by the arm and stepped over the big man. He figured that since Cloud was standing there that Rude and Cloud were probably playing another one of their stupid games and that it was best ignored. After that, he pushed Reno into a chair at a small table and told him to order two mushroom burgers with cheese before Tseng walked to the other end of the room and sat at a different table.

"Uh…" Reno uttered while feeling a little unsure of his predicament, "Sir?"

Did Tseng want him to stay at that table?

Why was he sitting at the other table?

What the hell is goin on?

"You'll stay exactly where I put you if you know what's good for you," Tseng darkly muttered under his breath as he stared at Reno like he was going to kill him in the worst of ways.

Yes. The farther away Reno was from Tseng, the safer he probably was, and then Tseng turned his attention to the back door as Tifa helped Elena walk back in and he noted the bruise forming under Elena's eye.

Did they get into another fight? Did he miss it? Oh, how disappointing Tseng's life was.

In fact, it was so disappointing that all he could think about was how in the hell was he going to get Reno drunk enough so that he could take advantage of him. Of course, he figured he'd have to get himself pretty damned drunk too, because there was just no way in hell he'd be able to do something like that if he was sober.

Gods. No. There was absolutely no way.

So he ordered two shooters for him and the red-headed male at the other end of the room and told the waitress to keep them coming.


When Rufus finally decided that he'd go to the Seventh Heaven after a long day of doing absolutely nothing and walked through the door, he took a look around and wondered why Reno and Tseng were sitting so far apart. He also wondered why Tseng had nine empty shot glasses on the table while he quickly shot back the tenth one and why Reno had only one that was barely touched. He also noted that Reno looked rather nervous.

He couldn't blame him though. If Tseng was looking at Rufus the way he was looking at Reno, Rufus assumed he might have wound up being just as nervous. Of course, he wouldn't have allowed himself to show his weakness. But then again, he wasn't Reno either.

Oh, how Rufus was filled with envy as he stood there and stared at Tseng as if he was star-crossed. The sheer and raw power that Tseng bared from his soul was revealed through nothing more than a vile and embittered glare that could take down a dual horn and turn it inside out with nothing more than sheer will.

Rufus almost wanted to shoot him right then and there. Then maybe, perhaps, he could steal that power and make it his. Then, maybe, he could regain his will to instil fear among the people like he once tried to do. Then maybe – just maybe – he could succeed where he once failed so miserably.

Unfortunately, Tseng was far too valuable to shoot, and Rufus found his way over to Tseng's table to sit across from him so that he could study and learn from the man.

Then he wondered why Tifa and Elena were sitting together at the bar, and he wondered why Tifa was paying for Elena's drink before he suddenly wondered where Rude was.

Tseng, on the other hand, wasn't interested in paying any attention whatsoever to Rufus. No. Hell, no. No one was going to stop him or get in his way as he continued to glare at Reno while ignoring the fact that Rufus' shoulder was partially in the way. Then he shot back another drink the moment the waitress placed it on his table and he cursed at himself for not feeling the slightest indication of intoxication.

He used to think that his inability to be affected by alcohol was a characteristic to be proud of. But at that moment, it was nothing but a curse, and at that thought, he shot a piercing glance at Rufus to suggest that the man was nothing but a nuisance and a thorn in his side, and then he turned his attention over to Elena and watched her squeeze a slice of lemon into her club soda.

He couldn't help but be irritated by it, particularly when he watched a stray seed pop out and gracefully float passed the ice cubes and through the fizzing bubbles to rest at the bottom of Elena's glass where it mockingly moved about. It was a pet peeve of Tseng's, and he watched her delicately suck the soda through the straw while stray bubbles subtly sprayed onto her doll-like face and the seed danced around at the bottom of her glass like it was taunting him.

It's all your fault, he silently accused. If it wasn't for her, Reno wouldn't be fearing for his life right now and Tseng wouldn't be thinking whatever in the hell it was he was thinking – if only he knew what that was, and as he willed her to spontaneously combust where she sat, Elena took another drink and sucked the seed up with one swift motion before she started choking.

He knew it was wrong, but there was something incredibly erotic by the spectacle. There was something incredibly erotic by the way the seed spontaneously shot up through her straw and the way Tifa grabbed onto Elena from behind and jerked her back while lifting the little blonde's feet off the ground before a little seed flew out of Elena's mouth and bounced off the patterned mirror behind the bar.

It was like the world suddenly stood still.


Cloud, Rude thought as he dunked Cloud's head into the dirty trough of water in the back yard one more time, Two letters away from Clown… That's all you need… Yeah… That's right… Rude thought, as he pulled Cloud up long enough for him to gasp for air before he dunked his head back into the water. Then you'll have a name that would suit you… you know why that is? Rude silently asked while he pushed Cloud's head farther – he was such a wash-out. Because you 'are' a Clown… Yeah… That's right. And guess what… 'Clown'… I 'hate' Clowns!

After that, Rude snorted and pulled Cloud away from the trough and decided that enough was enough. Then he called him a Clown and went inside to leave the little wash-out behind. But he stopped with his back to Cloud and wondered if maybe he was a little too harsh that time while he listened to the messed-up blonde choke for air.

At that moment, Rude pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He couldn't leave Cloud like that. Sure, some harsh words were spoken and some cruel indulgences were acted upon but…

Well, as soon as Rude turned around, his blood ran cold at the image that was standing before Cloud, and he wondered, Where in the hell did he come from? while Cloud choked out the question, "Sephiroth?"

"Hello… Cloud," the man with the silver hair purred as he stood with his back to Rude and stared down at Cloud.

And Rude yelled out, "Cloud!" as he acted on instinct alone and ran out to rescue the irritating little blonde.


Rufus was talking. That much Tseng was sure of, and as Rufus babbled on and on about whatever uninteresting topic he could possibly drudge up from that feeble little mind of his, Tseng rolled his eyes and shot back his fifteenth shooter and then snapped his attention over to Reno.

That seductive little redhead hadn't even touched his first drink. No. Instead, he simply sat there and looked like he was attempting to shrink into the background, and Tseng wondered, since when did Reno ever shrink back from anything?

Oh. That little Jemnezmy was playing with him. That much, Tseng was sure of. Just look at him, Tseng thought to himself as Rufus' voice acted like a dizzying lull that drummed through his skull and Tseng wondered how in the hell that man could still be talking – Didn't he ever tire?

Then he wondered if Reno ever tired and shot back his sixteenth drink while barely noticing how the lights around him turned into nothing but a dizzying blur while Rufus continued to sing his droning melody as if it was a drill burrowing straight through Tseng's skull. Yes. He could even feel the vibration of Rufus' voice as the lights almost seemed to dance along with it.

Oh, how he hated that man. How he wanted to stuff something into his mouth and shut him up for good. He'd show him! He'd show him who the real boss was, and at that, Tseng decided that he could take no more. Everyone was solely put on the planet to taunt him.

There was no doubt about it. They were all in on it together!

Oh, yes… Tseng was onto them – All of them!

And he got up from his seat without realizing that his self-control went out the window with his sobriety, and he walked across the bar with an intensity that made Reno shrink back even more than he already had, and then he grabbed Reno by the collar and yelled out, "This is what you get for kissing me!" and then he jumped on top of him and wrapped his hands around his neck so that he could choke the life out of that conniving, manipulating, and tempting little Jemnezmy.

Did I miss something? Rufus wondered. Certainly, he must have missed something. After all, he certainly didn't see that coming. One moment, he was telling Tseng about his important plans for the next day and why he felt it was important for the world to relinquish religion, and the next moment, Tseng was on top of Reno and attempting to kill the man in public – so it appeared. But why?

And what's this about a kiss?

Rufus was confused and surprised, and it was such an odd feeling. He'd never been confused or surprised before, and now he was suddenly both. He was so unfamiliar with it that he wasn't exactly sure what he thought about it, or even what he should have been thinking about it. And then he wondered if he should have been feeling or thinking anything at all about it. If only he knew what it was he'd suddenly fallen victim to then he'd know exactly how to deal with it, and up until that point in time, Rufus thought that he already knew how to deal with everything.

At that, he turned around and grabbed the next drink that the barmaid placed onto the table and he drank it. He was going to need some time, he figured. Yes. He was definitely going to need some time to figure out what this new and odd sensation was, and suddenly, the fact that Tseng might very well kill Reno in public didn't strike Rufus as that important. No. There were more important things to concern himself with, and at that, he placed his hands on the table in front of him and stared at the blank wooden wall ahead of him while Reno did his best to defend himself from the crazed Director.

"Why isn't anyone doing anything?" Tifa asked while Elena sat back and figured that now would be the best time to turn invisible. Like hell if she was going to get in Tseng's way. The man was obviously crazy. They'd all seen it coming. Of course, Tifa wouldn't know because she wasn't around him as much as they were. But Elena knew – Elena knew that Tseng was harbouring some sort of pent up animosity towards the world. She'd known for some time and she also knew that Tseng was going to wind up killing someone.

In fact, she suddenly wondered if they all weren't going to snap. It had been so long since any of them killed anyone that it was no wonder they were turning against each other, and at that, Elena turned around and openly cheered Tseng on!

She figured that it probably wouldn't hurt to get on his good side right about now.

Yes. She had to give it all she had, even if Tifa had to grab her and hold her tightly against her breasts again while the bouncers pulled the crazy Director off of her co-worker and tossed him outside.


Well! Tseng had never!

In all of his years, he'd never lost it like that, and he didn't know why as the dizzying lights outside caused him to stumble while the blurring motion of the cars caused a slight disorientation as he yelled at the bouncers while threatening to pull Tifa's liquor license.

Seriously! Whatever poison she was serving, it was out of control!

And then he giggled at them and pointed when both the bouncers stopped and turned to regard him in a manner that stated that they weren't afraid of him.

Fools! Tseng thought. Ooh. They had no idea who they were messing with!

And damn that Reno!

Then he turned around and straightened his crooked jacket so that it was more crooked. After all, he was outside and couldn't allow himself to appear presentable. Shinra's image was at stake!

At that, the bouncers rolled their eyes and decided that they'd seen enough. Every night, each of them thought, and they decided to ignore the drunken Turk as he stumbled forward and threw up onto the sidewalk. Actually, he threw up mostly onto his own shoes, but they didn't care.

They saw that type of spectacle nearly every night and were starting to get rather bored with it. Surely, there were better jobs out there. But no. They had to decide that being a bouncer was cool. Yet it wasn't. No. It was probably the most un-cool job either of them had ever had, and one of them started wondering if leaving his career as a drag queen was really that great of an idea while the other thought that it was better than going back to prison – but only slightly.

"That's right!" Tseng slurred out as they walked away from him like they couldn't possibly care less. Then he muttered as he swaggered to the right while pointing at the lamppost to emphasise how little the bouncers had to worry about his insignificant threats, "Run like the cowards you are!"

After that, he turned and walked into a pair of huge breasts and smiled.

Finally! He thought. The Heavens were finally smiling upon him! And then he stood back and reached out so that he could grab them with both his hands and got knocked out cold.


At that moment, Elena slipped on an ice-cube and hit the back of her head on the bar, and once again, Tifa came to her rescue. Tifa was so nice, Elena thought. She was so kind as she escorted her up to her bedroom and sat her on her bed so that she could take a better look at Elena's head in private.

Then she said she needed to get some ice and left Elena there to study her surroundings.

She was so busy looking at the plain walls and the empty dresser that she didn't even notice the man in red standing near the window until the very last second, and the moment she met his cat-like eyes and smiled, she passed out.

"Gods!" Tifa exclaimed as she ran back in with a bag full of ice. She hoped Elena didn't have a concussion and she was so concerned about her as she crawled on the bed over top of her to check her eyes that she didn't even notice the other two figures joining the man in the red coat outside on her window's ledge. There was a very pretty girl with a pretty pink dress and a pretty pink ribbon in her hair to hold back the long pretty braid that her pretty brown hair was neatly pulled into.

Beside her, stood a very handsome man with spiky black hair that was shoulder length, and he had the most amazing blue eyes that the pretty woman couldn't stop staring at. He was so handsome, she thought, and she felt like decking him because of it.

But first matters were first, and they both set their focus on Tifa as Tifa glanced out the window and saw them right before she passed out over top of Elena.