50 ways to annoy a god, goddess and their kids
...HAS HIT TEN CHAPTERS! :)
Travis was happy. Ecstatic, even.
He'd manage to annoy the hell out of various people just by beginning all his sentences with "ohh la la!" It was very amusing watching Chiron get angry, but was very dangerous staying near the enraged Chiron, so he left the horse-man stamping on what seemed to be some Apollo kids.
Poor, Apollo kids.
Sadly, that tiny bit of happiness was killed when he saw his crush, Katie (not Kaleigh who is frequently called Katie), sitting alone by some random tree.
If he...if he were to ever utter that in front of her...he would die. "Oh...crraaaap."
One could say he was smitten with her, but who wouldn't be? She was adorable in his eyes, and very talkative (if you count scolding him as talkative).
In fact, she's trapped Travis at social gatherings at camp a few times, backing him into a corner and then standing at just the right angle so that he'd have to physically push her out of his path to escape.
Not that he minded. Psh as if. It was kind of hot.
HOWEVER, the fact that Katie's extremely passionate in scolding him into not pranking everyone with his brother and that other Katie and the fact that she can talk about these things for hours without pause was horrible.
The worst thing is she excepts him to keep the conversation alive by adding his own little inputs or protests to whatever she says. While he usually didn't mind about that in the past (he got to talk to her!) today was different - he didn't want her to hear him utter "ohh la, la"
He had to avoid her at all cost...therefore he started to walk around her, hoping that she wouldn't see him.
But was too late.
She saw him.
Don't recognize me, don't reco...He's quite sure that she's not quite sure if it's him yet, but he can feel her eyes focusing on him. He risked a glance to see if she's still watching...
...and then Travis accidentally locked eyes with her.
Once the eye contact was established, she began to lurch towards him in slow motion, like a zombie in a bad horror movie.
No, no, no! Travis is consumed by a desire to bolt, but he can't. Katie would think he didn't like her or worse - think that he hated her.
He has to annoy her. And he has to do it now. And has to pretend to like it.
To protect his prankster dignity.
"I hate being sick." Kaleigh announced to no one in particular. She pumped a fist in the air and glared at the sick. "STUPID GOD OF SICKNESS!"
"Actually," the person on the other bed in the room said, "there is not God of Sickness. Not that I know of."
"Fine then," she said. "Goddess of Sickness, you suck major balls. There."
The fellow adjusted his glasses. "There isn't a Goddess of Sickness either..."
"Fuck you," she muttered. "Your dad was also the God of Homosexuality. HOW DO LIKE THEM APPLES?"
He coughed. "I'm not a homophobe, and there's nothing wrong with Apollo also being the God of Homosexuality."
"That could mean he's homo, you know."
"He could, like, use his freaky Godly powers to stare at guys in a shower."
"He could use his freaky Godly powers to stare at you in the shower."
"He wouldn't do that."
"OH AND HOW ARE YOU SO SURE, CHAD?"
He frowned. "Kaleigh, it's been two-weeks since you've been here. I thought we'd established this already, my name is Brad."
"Listen, Chaddy, I can do whateva I want! SO SHUSH." Kaleigh sighed, attempting to keep up with her I'm-crazy-woo! façade. Inwardly though, she was going crazy (and not in the I'm-crazy-woo! crazy).
How the hell did this dude know her name? No one knew her name. Not even the gods. Or her mom, actually. Or her grandparents. She doubted her dog did either. Or her teachers. Or her mailman. Pity, she liked Bill the Mail-man.
"Chaaad!" she cried.
He sighed putting his book. "What, Kaleigh?"
"That's not my name!" She laughed at how she stated that. It sounded like that Tings Tings song. Wait, was that band called the Tings Tings? Eh, probably.
"So, what's your real name then?" Asked Brad.
He blinked, looking up from his book to notice something on her face. "...okay, um, Sir Lurochera, what's on your face?"
"Ah." He set his book aside. "And why is honey on your face?"
She frowned. "GET OUT OF YOUR FUCKING TOWER AND STOP ACTING LIKE YOU'VE NEVER HAD HONEY ON YOUR FACE BEFORE!"
"DON'T JUDGE ME!"
"Are you on your period or something?"
"You know," Brad said. "When females bleed for five days straight without dropping dead."
The ignorant Never-had-her-period-yet and skipped-that-lesson-in-health-class, Kaleigh blinked. "Females can do that?" Then. "I want to go try it." She scattered off to some room in search of some pointing object.
It was only after a few seconds of "OH FUPLE, CHAD YOU FUPLING LIAR! FUUUUPPLEEE I'M GONNA DIEE! I'M GONNA DIIIE! Haha, oh my gosh, so pretty! Hey kid, see that? It's my blood! MINE! HEE HEE!" did Brad realized what just happened.
(KAELIGH AND TRAVIS)
"What is wrong with you?" Mr. D jabbed a finger in Kaleigh's direction. "Are you a masochist? Or perhaps just plain suicidal. Gods, I pray it's the latter. Anyway, do you realize how influential what you've been doing to the annoying brats? Hmm? Chiron has be complaining none-stop about your crazy theories about how females can bleed five days without dropping dead? Do you know how bothersome that is?"
"But Chad said-"
"Chad," he hissed. "Was talking about menstruation. Surely you've heard of it." He scoffed when he saw confusion in her eyes. Whatever, he'd get someone to explain that to her some other time.
He turned to Travis.
"And you! Slapping that girl in the face because she talked to you? What is wrong with you? You do not slap girls! At all. There are many other things to do with your hands to that girl, boy!"
Chiron gave an awkward cough ignoring Connor's mutter of "it was to protect her" clearly shocked by Mr. D's comment on how one should treat girls.
Sadly for him, it got worse after that.
Well, it was his fault. Complaining to Mr. D all the time and all...
I can't do this. Connor thought to himself staring at the paper that described his job. I can't. It's just so….ugh, shut up Connor, you HAVE TO. You want to be a legend, right? It's not gonna kill you!
Ugh. Yeah, it will. He frowned. JUST DO IT. C'MON. Okay, count it out.
He shoved the paper in his pocket.
He opened his cabin door.
He headed for the Ares cabin.
To Be Continued.
DUN, DUN, DAAAAAAAAA!
Sorry for the long wait and craptastic chapter. (AND I LEFT YOU WITH A CLIFFY, too! Total bootch slap, I know.)
I think that having Enriched Science and Academic Math in one semester killed of my failed attempts at humour, making the failed attempts I make now even worse.
At least I get to dissect frogs…!
I'll shut up now.