Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. I also (still) don't own Brian Kinney's one-liners. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: No warnings other than the usual spank!fic ones. This takes place during the summer after Edward and Jasper's first year of college, making this the most future of the future-takes.

Thank you to OnTheTurningAway and coolbreeeze for being the best betas in the history of the universe and to all of you who have continued to come back for more Spanksper.


JPOV

How the fuck did I get myself into these situations?

I had survived my first year of college and got a job over the summer working construction for a local contractor. He usually employed his sons, but two of them were in college and had limited availability. One was taking summer classes and the other got an internship or some shit. It was actually my comp professor who hooked me up with the job. We had to write a lot of stupid personal essays for the class, and I wrote a couple about my carpentry hobby.

The problem was that, unlike my job at Newton's, I didn't have regular hours. It all depended on whether or not there was a project available for me to work on.

Seattle had been having torrential downpours, which meant we had to stop work on a few decks, so I had been stuck at home for a week without anything to do. It was driving me crazy. So when Edward called to ask me a favor, I jumped at the chance. Of course, I couldn't let Edward see how bored I was.

"I have a weird proposition for you, Jasper," he started.

"No."

"I haven't even asked you yet!"

"The last time I agreed to one of your propositions, I wound up stuck in a car with you for sixteen hours."

"You also got to see my asshole stretched around two dicks."

"The size of your ego is astonishing, Edward, if you think that's adequate motivation."

"That's why I need you to put me in my place."

Fuck. If he kept talking like that, I knew I was toast.

"Anyway," Edward continued. "You don't have to come to me this time, I'm coming to you."

"Well in that case, you'll be coming for me."

"I hope so. If..."

"Just spit it out, Edward."

"I need you to help me move a piano."

"What the fuck?"

"Esme bought a new baby grand, but there was some problem setting up a delivery time. This weekend is when they can deliver it, but she and Carlisle are going to be out of town."

"Aren't there professionals who do this?"

"Esme is weird about having movers in the condo."

"Of course she is."

"The neighbors already offered to help, but we need another person or else she'll force Carlisle to drive over from Forks."

"So? I still don't see how this is my problem."

"If Carlisle isn't here, then I get the condo all to myself for the entire weekend. You could lay me down on the kitchen table and eat pudding out of my ass."

"What makes you think I want to eat pudding out of your ass?"

"Wishful thinking."

That's how I found myself waiting for Edward to meet me at my mom's house on a Saturday morning in June. I could have been sleeping in, but instead I was sitting at the kitchen table, eating cereal with Peter. It was stupid, really. I could have driven there myself, but Edward's excuse was that the condo had limited parking. I knew it was just his ploy to get me to stay there at his mercy. I figured there was no real harm in it. If I told him to take me home, he would. Plus, a whole weekend alone with Edward wasn't exactly unappealing. I had only seen him once so far this summer because of some research bullshit he was doing.

I heard his car pull into the driveway, so I stepped outside to greet him. Edward climbed out of his Volvo and practically ran over to me. He threw his arms around my neck before leaning in to kiss me. His tongue was immediately insistent, and I wasn't exactly resistant. I heard the lawnmower next door screech across the sidewalk. I whipped my head around to see my next door neighbor staring at me with his mouth hanging open like a trout. I plastered a fake smile on my face and waved to him. He had borrowed some of my tools before. I wondered if he would be so eager to talk carpentry now that he knew I was gay. Edward followed my gaze and smirked before pressing himself flush against me and tilting his head to suck on my neck.

He only stopped when the lawnmower started again.

"You aren't going to invite me in?" he asked, batting his eyelashes at me.

I rolled my eyes and untangled myself from him.

"Fine. Do you want some coffee? I doubt it's snobby enough for you."

"What? No espresso machine?"

"Fuck off."

I turned and went into the house, assuming Edward would follow. I could feel him behind me when I got to the kitchen.

"Peter, you remember Edward."

Peter shrugged and continued eating his cereal. Edward had met Peter once before, the previous summer, and Peter had taken to him immediately. The thing about Edward was that he wasn't at all patronizing, so he treated Peter like a peer. That's why Peter's reaction to seeing Edward again was a little weird, but I thought that was the end of it until Peter looked up from reading the back of his cereal box and gave me a hard stare.

"So is Edward your boyfriend?" he asked.

"What?" I sputtered, completely taken off guard. "No."

"He kissed you."

"So?" I asked, setting a cup of coffee down in front of Edward.

"In the driveway he hugged you and kissed you. That's what boyfriends do, right? It's what Rose and Emmett do."

The sneak must have been watching us from the window.

"I don't really think Rose should be your standard. You know she and that ox have had sex in your bed, right?"

"Ew! What? No they haven't."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, kid."

Edward had an expression on his face that was part amused and part horrified. Right, he didn't have siblings. I couldn't imagine being an only child. I was a loner most of the time, but I was glad I had Peter – and on rare occasions, even Rosalie – around.

Peter was used to me giving him a hard time and probably realized he couldn't bait me, so he changed his tactics.

"So, Edward, you think Jasper is your boyfriend, right?"

Edward looked thoughtful for a second before speaking. "Well, maybe in a non-defined, non-conventional way."

I rolled my eyes.

"See."

"Having a boyfriend would imply dating. Edward and I do not date."

"Aren't you going somewhere with him now?"

"I'm helping him move a piano! Why am I explaining myself to you?"

"See. Non-defined and non-conventional," Edward said, ignoring me and looking at Peter.

They shared a nod. Then Peter's face scrunched up in question.

"Rose really hasn't had sex in my bed, Jazz. Right?"

I shrugged. Peter reached over and punched me. It wasn't very hard, but I was happy he was fighting back. Being in Seattle had done wonders for him. He was even starting to stand up to my mom a little.

Edward smirked from behind his coffee cup.

We sat in silence for a few minutes while I finished my cereal, which had gone soggy due to Edward's overly affectionate greeting. I was thinking of how I could punish him later when he interrupted my thoughts.

"May I use your bathroom?"

"Yeah," I said slowly. "It's down the hall, first door on the left."

As soon as Edward left the room, I jumped up and set my empty bowl in the sink. Peter was looking at me funny, but I didn't care. I rushed down the hall to my bedroom to grab something I had bought a few weeks before with Edward in mind.

Edward emerged from the bathroom and was headed back to the kitchen, so I cleared my throat. His head snapped to my direction immediately.

"Put this in," I ordered as I stepped closer, shoving a blue, glass plug into his hand.

"What?" he gasped, looking down at the apparatus with wide eyes.

"While you're moving the piano, you're going to be stretching out your ass for me. Here, take the lube."

Not giving him a chance to respond, I shoved him into the bathroom. I went back to my bedroom to grab my bag and then waited for Edward. When he came out, I could tell he was walking differently, but there was a small smirk on his face that hadn't been there before.

"Ready?" I asked him.

He nodded, and we walked back to the kitchen. Peter had finished his cereal and was putting the milk away.

"Why do you have an overnight bag?" he asked, sounding accusatory.

"I'm staying at Edward's tonight."

"Mom is letting you spend the night at your boyfriend's?"

"One, Edward is not my boyfriend. We barely get along civilly. Two, I'm an adult. I don't need permission. Three, if you don't stop bugging me about Edward, I'm never going to help convince mom to get you a dirt bike."

That shut him up.

My mom was supposed to be off her shift in an hour. She didn't like leaving Peter home alone, even though he was perfectly fine. He'd had a little bit of a growth spurt that helped out his mobility and only had a brace on one leg. He was always going to have trouble walking, but he could maneuver around fine now without anyone's help.

I knew she would bitch at me later, but I figured if I did it enough times, she would eventually get used to the idea of Peter being home alone. She really had nothing to worry about. The kid had no guile. The worst he would do in the next hour was eat too many cookies while he played video games.

"We need to meet the movers," I told him. "Just don't burn the house down, and tell mom to call me if she gives you a hard time."

Peter rolled his eyes, so I ruffled his hair before heading for the door.

He glared at me.

Edward laughed.

Moving the piano was just as big of a pain in the ass as I thought it would be. It turned out that the Cullen's neighbors were the most stereotypical gay couple I had ever seen in my life. One was a chef and the other was an artist, so they both needed to protect their hands, making them basically worthless. Once the piano arrived, Edward and I did most of the lifting. Luckily Felix, the one Esme-approved mover, was roughly the size of a Volkswagen and extraordinarily efficient.

The only real snag was that I cut my finger when Edward and I were taking all the packing material off the piano.

"Do you have any Band-Aids?"

"Actually, I think there are some in the desk over there," Edward said, pointing to a ridiculously ornate desk on the other side of the room. "I'll go get an antiseptic."

I was able to tell him that a Band-Aid would suffice, but he had already left the room. I opened the drawer, and sure enough, there was a box of Band-Aids sitting on top. I pulled out the box and was about to slam the door shut when I noticed a wooden ruler sitting right on top of a stack of papers. That gave me an idea.

Edward returned and insisted on helping me bandage the cut like I was helpless, though I was pretty sure he was doing it just to rile me. As soon as he was satisfied with his bandage placement, I jerked my head toward the piano.

"Have you been practicing, Edward?" I asked.

"What?"

"Have you been a good student?" I asked more sternly this time.

Edward's eyes widened in understanding.

"Yes, Mr. Hale. I practice everyday."

"I'll be the judge of that," I said firmly.

Edward's breath hitched. I stalked toward him, forcing him to back up until his ass hit the piano keys. He looked up at me defiantly for a second, and I wondered if this was something he couldn't do. The piano was completely his turf, and me pretending like I knew better than him was probably an affront to his talent. I could almost see the debate going on in his head about whether or not he could play this role, but then his eyes widened and I knew he'd given in. He needed his ass spanked more than he needed to maintain his virtuoso status.

"Play something," I ordered.

"What do you want me to play?"

"The piece you were working on last week," I said. I had never taken piano lessons growing up, but it seemed like the right thing to say.

Edward nodded and put his fingers on the keys.

"It's hard to play the piano standing up, sir."

"It's also hard to play the piano with a plug in your ass while being spanked with my ruler, but you're going to keep playing until I tell you to stop."

"Yes, sir," Edward breathed.

"Take off your pants before you begin."

When Edward looked down at his feet and hesitated, I added, "Shoes, too."

He hurried out of his shoes and socks, then squirmed out of his jeans, leaving them in a pile on the floor. I watched him with my arms crossed, tapping my foot in feigned impatience. He spun around quickly and put his hands on the keys. In order to play, he had to bend forward slightly, forcing him to push his ass out.

It was perfect.

He started playing something I didn't recognize. Knowing Edward, I was sure he was playing a song that Mozart wrote for his mistress who had a notorious spanking fetish or some shit like that. It was obvious he knew the song well, though, which would make my job harder.

I stalked over to the desk, grabbed the ruler, and came back to Edward. If he sensed my presence behind him, he didn't give anything away as he continued playing.

Without any warning, I stepped in close and slapped the thin strip of wood across his ass.

He gasped and his fingers slipped. Even though I didn't know the song he was playing, it was clear he had messed up.

"Tsk, tsk," I scolded. "You missed some notes there."

I knew he wanted to argue with me, accuse me of not giving him any warning, or getting his ass warmed up with my hand first. I could see the tension in his shoulders. We hadn't played like this for a long time, and he was struggling to give into it.

"I'm sorry, sir," he finally whispered.

"Just don't let it happen again," I said, taking another swipe with the ruler. This time Edward's fingers stumbled a little, throwing off his rhythm, but it was less noticeable than before.

"Better."

I let him continue playing. I could have worked out a rhythm, spanking him in time to the music, but I needed to keep him on his toes.

After a few more light slaps, I brought the ruler down directly on the plug, nudging it in just a little further.

Edward gasped, and I watched his entire body clench like he was trying to stave off pleasure.

"Oh god," he hissed.

I struck again and again. The sounds of the ruler making a 'thwacking' sound against his skin and Edward's groans accompanied his now-steady piano playing. I started to lose count in my head, but I knew I was into double digits. There were red stripes patterned across his perfect cheeks. I looked around him to check out his cock. It was hard and throbbing.

I would never understand Edward, but he played through every strike, the only noises coming out of his mouth pure pleasure.

I was waiting for him to grow complacent, to the point where he was numb. Then and only then did I hit the plug again. I tapped the ruler against it harder this time, so I was sure it would hit against his prostate.

Edward hit a wrong note. I probably wouldn't have noticed, but I saw him wince ever so slightly.

"Another wrong note, Edward?"

"I'm sorry, sir."

"Sorry isn't going to cut it, and you know it," I said, tapping the ruler firmly against the plug again.

He squeaked in response but couldn't form words.

"I don't think my ruler is providing you with enough motivation."

I unbuckled my belt, as loud as I possibly could. My belt was so worn that the leather was soft, but it would still make a substantial slap as it struck Edward's ass. I pulled it out through the loops with a flourish. My jeans slipped lower on my hips as I took a step back from Edward's body.

I could tell Edward had changed songs, or movements, or whatever. The tempo sped up as if to match the way he tensed in anticipation.

I knew I couldn't go too hard because a leather belt could do more damage than the ruler. Plus, Edward's ass was already flushed a bright pink, verging on red.

I wanted it to be purple.

I stood back a little, gripped the belt near the buckle, and let it go with a flick of my wrist.

"Shit!" Edward screamed.

I wondered if it was too much, if I had gone too far. The red mark it left behind, straight across Edward's cheeks, looked angry, but then he pushed his ass back ever so slightly and I knew it was okay.

I shifted my position, giving Edward a little bit of time for the sting to fade. Then I let go two more strokes, one right after the other, making a red 'x' across Edward's ass.

He tried to play through it, but his arms were shaking.

"Jasper," he cried out, his throat dry, and I knew I needed to stop.

I dropped the belt and grabbed his hips roughly, until there was a satisfying crash of sound when his hands smashed down on the keys in surprise.

I grabbed the plug and twisted, making Edward moan.

"You could come just from this, couldn't you? Just me pushing the plug in and out of your ass."

Edward nodded frantically.

"You're just an ass-slut aren't you? Anything up there will do?"

"Please. Please!"

I knew the neighbors could probably hear him. As loud as Edward was, they probably heard the entire episode, but that only made me want to make him scream louder.

"You want to come, Edward?" I prompted.

"Yes, please. Please!"

I twisted the plug, making sure I was hitting the right spot.

"Do you think you deserve to? You made three mistakes, and that atrocious sound."

"Need it. Need it," he panted.

"I want you to scream for me, Edward," I hissed into his ear.

Then I pulled the plug out roughly and that seemed to be the trigger he needed.

With an almost deafening cry, he came, painting the black and white keys with his cum.

He looked like he was about ready to collapse, grabbing onto the top of the piano for balance. When he turned to look over his shoulder at me, he looked completely fucking dazed. His eyes widened when he noticed that I was fucking straining against my jeans.

"You know you're not finished."

He nodded, still looking kind of confused. I stepped in closer to him and put my hands on my hips. He took the hint and sank to his knees, unzipping my fly on the way down.

Thank fuck he wasn't tentative anymore. He licked up and down my cock to get it wet and then took it deep into his mouth. I wanted to stand still and let him do all the work, but it was like I physically couldn't. I grabbed onto his hair, encouraging him to speed up. He hummed around my cock when I tugged, and I met his eyes with a smirk.

"Painwhore," I muttered, wincing at how much like an endearment it sounded.

If Edward noticed my tone, he didn't respond except to pull my cock deeper into his mouth. He was starting to get good at deep-throating. He wasn't as good as me by any means, but his technique had improved remarkably since the first time.

"Touch my balls," I ordered.

The second his warm hand cupped my boys, I knew I was going to finish fast. While I felt my orgasm build, I looked down and watched Edward's wet lips sliding up and down my cock. His eyes were squeezed shut, so I tugged at his hair until he looked up at me. His eyes smiled up at me while I felt his fingers tease my balls. He slipped one behind them and pressed it in just the right place.

I pulled my cock out of his mouth roughly. As much as I liked coming down Edward's throat, I wanted to see my cum spurt all over his face. Edward looked confused for a second until I let out a deep groan as my spunk hit his lips. I jacked myself through my orgasm, covering his face like Jackson fucking Pollock.

I came down slowly, basking in the most satisfying orgasm I'd had in months.

When I glanced down at Edward, he was looking up at me expectantly. He hadn't moved, and a drop of my cum was starting to dribble down his lips. I just couldn't help myself and I bent down to lick it off. I swiped it off his chin and then brought my tongue up and pushed it into his mouth, forcing Edward to taste me twice over.

"Jasper," Edward whispered against my lips as I broke the kiss.

"Let's get you cleaned up," I said, straightening up. "I have some arnica gel in my bag."

I grabbed my bag and then ushered Edward into the Cullen's bathroom. Edward let me clean the rest of my jizz off his face with a wet washcloth. Then, I sat down on the edge of the tub and pulled Edward over my lap. I rubbed the gel into his ass. At first Edward sighed, but as I continued, I felt his dick start to come to life against my leg.

"Slut," I teased. "You need a break."

"Can I convince you to take a nap with me?" he asked suggestively.

"It'll hurt lying down."

"That's okay, I'll just have to ride you."

Edward's cockiness seemed to have recovered as well, at least until I didn't respond right away to his shameless flirting.

"You do want to stay, right?" he asked.

I heard vulnerability in his voice, the kind that usually prompted me to spank him within an inch of his sanity.

I rested my hand on Edward's ass and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Of course I want to stay," I said.

Edward turned to look up at me and smiled.

I added, "I didn't stretch out your ass for nothing."