Disclaimer: I dont own bleach or anything related to it!
A/N:Hello and welcome to chapter two 'cuz chapter one went so well. I hope its as funny as the first 'cuz this time I wasnt up till 3! Enjoy!
All the Espada crowded into the meeting room. They had all gotten a message telling them to make their way to the meeting room as quickly and quietly as possible.
Upon arrival they had been greeted by Tousen who wasnt wearing his usual outfit. Instead he was wearing a white-tee and blue jeans. His orange scarf was gone and replaced by a orange bandana.
"Oi Tousen! Why the hell are your pants all the way down past your butt?" Grimmjow asked.
"Because I dont like American Idol, Grimmjow" Tousen told him. "Now get inside and have a seat"
Gin was waiting inside and handed them a paper as they passed him. The paper read:The Espada Krump Cup Championship. He also gave them a choice of hats or bandanas. As everyone took their seat, he turned his hat backwards and spoke. "Welcome y'all ta the first annual Krump Cup Championship! In this here competition you will dish out your bess yo mama jokes to see whose the funniest of all."
He told them that he would give them a yo mama phrase and they would work off of what it was.
"First up:Halibel vs Strakk!" Gin annouced. Both espada stood and faced each other. "Yo mama so ugly" Gin told them.
"Starkk yo mama is so ugly your dad takes her to work so he doesnt have to kiss her goodbye" Halibel started. Everyone Ooo-ed at this.
"Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck" Starkk said slowly.
"Damn!" Nnoitra gasped. "Careful Starkk shes a black female!"
"Yo mama so ugly she went in a haunted house and came out with a job application" Halibel crossed her arms over her chest.
Starkk laughed at this. "I give! I'm going to go take a nap" Starkk flashed a peace sign and left the room.
"And Halibel moves to the next round! Next Ulquiorra vs Szayel, yo mama so fat"
"Yo mama so fat her clothes size is 'oh god its coming'!" Szayel giggled.
"Yo mama so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale"
"Whoa! Careful Ulqui, Szayel thinks hes a black female!" Grimmjow yelled.
"DID YOU JUST CALL ME ULQUI? What are you a fangirl?" the 4th said.
Tousen appeared "Remember your opponent is Szayel" he reminded him "Dont make me throw a chair"
Everyone backed a step away from him. "You wouldnt!" Gin gasped opening his eyes a bit.
"I will if we dont get back to the jokes" Tousen said having a seat and propping his feet up.
"Whatever. Yo mama is so fat this town really isn't big enough for the both of us" Ulquiorra said just as dry as usual.
"Ooo burn! Ulqiorra advances!" Gin laughed. And so it continued. Back and forth between the remaining Espada until only Grimmjow, Ulqiorra and Nnoitra were left.
"Any joke goes! This is for the championship!" Gin declared holding up a large bejeweled cup.
"Grimmjow yo mama is so stupid she brought Nnoitra to the Superbowl" Ulquiorra said.
"Well yo mama so stupid, I told her it was chilli outside and she ran out there with Nnoitra" Grimmjow growled
"Hey! Both your mama's are so stupid they thought Fruit Punch was a gay boxer" Nnoitra hissed.
"Or Szayel" Halibel coughed. They all laughed except Szayel who sweatdropped.
"Ulquiorra's mama is so short she has to slam dunk her bus fair" Grimmjow chuckled.
"Grimmjow's mama is so cheap shes on the dollar menu" Nnoitra laughed.
"Nnoitra's mama is so skinny I could blindfold her with dental floss" Ulquiorra said, some humor in his voice.
"Okay, okay hold it! I think we have a winner!" Gin informed at the Espada. He and Tousen walked away from them and began discussing who should be the winner. Moments later they came back.
"And the winner is..." Tousen said with a large clock on a chain in his hands.
"ULQUIORRA!" Gin cheered, handing the forth Espada the cup as Tousen put the clock around his neck.
Ulquiorra turned to grin at Grimmjow and Nnoitra.
"This is bullshit" They both muttered, crossing their arms over their chests.
"Hey Gin, why didnt Aizen-sama play with us?" Halibel asked suddenly.
"Oh, well ya see-" Gin started.
"WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL MY-" Aizen yelled as he stormed into the room, but he stopped as he saw his army and his second and third command inside the room. Slowly he began to draw his Zanpaktou.
And scene! I searched a lot for the jokes used and I hope they were up to your expectations. Didcha like the contest? Please review! Ulquiorra won yay!