*leaps onto scene dramatically* I have returned with a new story!...obviously. Like I mentioned at the end of my last story, Sarruby gave me a few ideas. You suggested 'never volunteer to train new recruits'...but then I thought, "Hey! What if K-unit has to train Tom Harris?" So yeah, many thanks to Sarruby and your...err, 'plot bunnies'... ^.^

Disclaimer: I do not own Alex Rider.

"You can't be serious." Alex asked incredulously.

Blunt straightened the papers on his desk, "I am serious about everything I say, Alex."

Said spy ran a hand through his blonde hair. How was he going to convince Blunt that he was wrong? And that such a plan should never have been conceived in the first place?

"Tom Harris will not make a good spy," Alex said slowly, "At. All. And I'm talking not good as in 'the whole world blows up' not good."

"Your exaggeration does not sway my plan." Blunt said firmly, "One of our vehicles will come to pick up you and Mr. Harris and drive to Brecon Beacons. The both of you will stay there for a duration of two weeks and train with the SAS, and then at the end of that time, I will decide if you friend has the skills to accompany you on a mission."

Alex heaved out a sigh. He would've loved nothing better than to take the grey man by his shoulders and shake him while shouting in his face, "Just leave me and the people in my life alone!" But Alex had the sneaking suspicion that just giving the head of Special Operations a pinch would result in a one way ticket to a miserable life caused by none other than MI6.

"I don't know what goes on in your mind," He finally said, "And I don't know what your thought process is. But I can tell you right now: you're wrong. I doubt the SAS will be able to handle Tom for three days, never mind two weeks."

"I'm afraid your opinion doesn't exactly weigh in on this matter." Blunt replied.

Alex raised an eyebrow, "When does my opinion ever matter to you?"

"Do you think K-unit will be there?" Tom questioned eagerly, "Is the food really bad? Is it true we have to wake up and go on like fifty mile hikes? Because I think it's physically impossible for me to get up before eight o'clock." Alex groaned before answering, "Tom, why are you so excited about training with the SAS? Hell, why are you so excited about training to be a spy?"

"Hey, I'm going to be a great spy!" Tom exclaimed, "I remember in Venice how you came up with the awesome plan to sneak into that one place! Then how you BASE jumped off a cliff without any training whatsoever!"

Alex looked his friend straight in the eye, "Do you remember how I came back from the 'awesome place' soaking wet and limping? And do you remember what I told you who I got involved with after I BASE jumped off the cliff?"


"And do you remember how I told you about the killer jellyfish, the maniac who wanted to vivisect me, how I got hit by a train, how I nearly died in a sugar grind machine, how I was almost strangled, how I watched a man kill himself, how I fought in a bull ring?"


"Oh yeah, and then there was the time when I was nearly killed in a video game brought to life. And don't forget about how I nearly died of an assassination attempt. I think that's the pinnacle of all the bad things that has happened while I've been a spy, but I've also nearly died in space and almost been eaten alive by effing CROCODILES!"

A full minute of silence went by.

There was a pane of glass separating the back seats from the driver, so the two teens could talk without being overheard. This was probably a good thing due to the fact that Alex was ready to describe every grisly detail of his missions at a shout to convince his friend spying wasn't a picnic in the park.

"Maybe I shouldn't do this." Tom finally admitted. Alex gave his friend a hard look, "You think? The only problem is that Blunt won't be talked out of this. I have no idea what goes on in his twisted mind, but for some reason or other, he is dead set on having you be a spy."

"That's it," Tom declared, "I won't do this. I don't care what that Blunt dude says, he can't take away my right to freedom." Alex leaned back in his seat, "Unless you totally fail everything during training and manage to piss off the sergeant and every soldier in Brecon Beacons, you're going to be a spy."

When Alex said that, he was simply telling his friend there was no way he could get out of becoming a spy. But Tom latched onto the idea. He certainly had a knack for pissing people off, and he could easily pretend to fail everything.

Operation Get The Hell Out Of This Mess was about to commence.

"Bloody MI6 sending me teenagers!" The sergeant roared, "What's next, toddlers? This isn't a daycare!"

"What, you think I really want to be here?" Tom asked sarcastically.

The sergeant turned his full fury on the teen, "YOU'LL ADDRESS ME AS SIR AND NOTHING ELSE! IS THAT CLEAR?"

Tom nodded and acted subdued and scared, but really he was planning evil revenge; starting with the screaming man in front of him. Alex, however, stood at attention with a blank face; patiently waiting for the sergeant to finish his tirade.

Five minutes later, the man straightened his uniform top and growled, "The both of you will be training with K-unit. Cub, you can give you friend here a tour of the grounds and explain the rules and what is expected of him."

Now the sergeant glared at Tom for a few seconds before gritting out, "You are not to tell anyone why you are here. If anyone asks, tell them that it's classified. If they give you a rough time, I couldn't care less. And lastly, we don't have names. You may know Cub by a different name outside of this place, but inside, he is simply Cub. The same goes for every other soldier you'll be training with."

The sergeant folded his arms across his chest and thought for a minute before deciding, "Your name will be Panda, and that's the name you'll give to anybody who asks. Dismissed."

Tom opened his mouth to argue that he deserved a better code name than Panda, but Alex quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him out before he could say a word.

"You had better start praying that Wolf is in a good mood today." Alex stated. Tom frowned in thought, "Wolf is the jerky Hispanic dude, right?"


"Then Snake is the Scottish guy, Fox is the one you went on a mission with, and Eagle is the generally happy one?"

"Don't always count on the last one, but yes."

Tom smiled at his friend, "We're going to have some fun, Al—I mean, Cub." Alex cast him a wary look, "Please don't tell me you have some crazy plan up your sleeve."

"Hey, you suggested it in the first place."

"What do you…" Alex's eyes widened when he realized that Tom was about to commit suicide, "Tom…sorry, Panda," He smiled slightly at the name before turning serious again, "Don't do anything to piss these people off. They will rip your guts out, cook them, and eat it as breakfast."

Tom shrugged, "If it means getting out of here, I'm going for it."

Alex ran a hand through his hair, "If you die, can I have your X-box games?"

Wolf was pissed.

He and K-unit had passed the exercise, but to avoid being seen by the enemy (aka L-unit) the leader had done a full face plant into the cold and slimy mud of Brecon Beacons. In this process, Wolf landed awkwardly and now his wrist was hurting. Snake had examined it and said the pain would go away in a few days, but it was still irritating. Then Eagle couldn't stop laughing at him for being covered from head to toe in mud. Oh yeah, and on top of all that, it was starting to rain.

But it wasn't any typical rainfall.

It was the kind of rain that came down so hard it felt like you were standing in a shower with the water on full power. It was the kind of rain that stuck to you like a slushy. It was the kind of rain that soaked into your clothes within seconds and worked its way into your boots so every step made a squish sound.

Yes, Wolf was pretty pissed off.

Most of the mud had washed off from the torrent of rain, so Wolf and the rest of K-unit simply headed towards their hut to get a change of clothes and head over to the mess hall to grab a bite to eat.

Just as the leader had his hand on the door knob, he heard someone shout, "Why do you get the bed closest to the wall?"

"Because I'm a senior soldier and you're a lowly noob!"

"But I saw it first!"

"I got my bag on it first! Finders keepers, losers weep~"

The sound of something whistling through the air and hitting something muffled the last word. Wolf shoved the door open to see Cub with a pillow in his hand and another teen with another pillow. Both looked ready to launch into a full blown pillow fight.

"What the hell is going on?" Wolf yelled at them.

The teens froze and lowered their arms from throwing positions, "It's nice to see you too, Wolf." Cub said sarcastically. The leader ignored the young spy and glared at the unfamiliar boy a few feet away.

A tiny feeling of sadistic pleasure sparked in Wolf's mind when he saw the kid flinch slightly from his legendary glaring skills.

"Who are you?" He growled.

"I'm Panda," The teen responded, "And it's nice to finally meet you, Wolf." Then he turned his attention to the MI6 operative, "You're Fox, right? Al—Cub said you two were on a mission together a few months ago…"

Panda looked thoughtfully at the last two members, "You're Eagle, and then you're Snake. Cub told me all about the crazy things you guys have done, and I gotta admit, looking at you four now, I never would've guessed that such serious soldiers were capable of pulling off the stunts you guys have."

K-unit was stunned into silence.

How did this kid know so much about them? He and Cub were most likely friends…but didn't Cub have to sign the Official Secrets Act? He shouldn't have been able to tell anyone, yet it appeared that he had.

"How do you know all that?" Fox finally asked just to confirm his thoughts. Panda seemed to think for a moment before answering with a grin, "Classified." Then the teen promptly turned to the spy and said, "Do you always feel this cool when you say that?"

Fox let out a sigh; Cub had taught him well. Snake felt a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Eagle let out one of his mega watt grins; this kid was going to be fun. And last but definitely not least, Wolf released a glare that could strip paint.

This time, Panda didn't flinch from the look, but instead he stated with a completely straight face, "You know if you keep that glare going, your face is going to get stuck like that, and it's already ugly enough."

So there, the first chapter is done. The next chapter(s) just might contain a tiny incident in the mess hall and possibly a few sleeping pills slipped into a certain man's evening coffee. Thanks for reading, and if you like it, press the button below. If you don't, i still want you to press the button below. I'm glad that i get e-mails saying that people are adding my stories to their favorites list, but i also like reading what you guys think i need to work on. Feel free to tell me with the warm glow of a candle or the roaring flames of a bonfire.