Frequently Asked Questions:

Revelation2010 asked: Is there going to be any interaction between Harry and Fleur or her family?
My response: Yes, there will. Since Hermione is at Beauxbatons, she is bound to hear about how Fleur is the Champion for her school, and will be curious about how things are at Hogwarts. But, the interactions between them won't be a major part of this story.

T asked: Will Ginny, Sirius and Harry be found innocent?
My response: That is, unfortunately, a question I cannot answer yet. But for now, I'll leave it up to your imagination, oh, inquisitive reader.

Azphxbird asked: What did Ron do in the Chamber of Secrets?
My response: Absolutely nothing, because he never was in the Chamber. If you go back to the previous chapter, you'll see that Ron's description of the events are extravagant, and nothing like what the basilisk looks like. Ron made up the whole 'I defeated the monster', whether to get attention and credit, or to make sure the crowd doesn't go up into panic, we shall never know.

Azphxbird asked: Who arrested Lucius Malfoy in the DOM?
My response: Well, even though the DA didn't exist, Dumbledore was still there. So, if you go back to the previous chapter, you'll see that the Death Eaters blew up the Prophecy Room. Severus Snape escaped, and he was punished, instead of Lucius, who led the mission. I left the rest up to the reader's imagination, but I was thinking something along the lines of the roof caving in, Dumbledore apparating in, the alarms in the Ministry going off, and general chaos. So much that the Death Eaters didn't have much time to make their escape, and were arrested by a group of Aurors, under Dumbledore's eye.

Koryssa-Kory- asked: [In relation to Voldemort wanting to 'finish off' Harry] Finish him as in kill him, or ask him to join him, or exile him from Britain?
My response: You are right. Eliminating a threat does not necessarily mean killing the person. But, in this case, we are looking at Voldemort and Harry Potter. When Voldemort speaks in terms of 'finishing people off' anything but killing the person would probably vanish from his mind. Voldemort won't recruit Harry, as he has no use to him, being in Azkaban for so many years (Note that Voldemort doesn't know Harry has a wand, so he still thinks he is a clumsy 11-year-old) and Voldemort can't exile Harry, as he isn't in control of Britain yet.


Quick note: There were way too many reviews for me too answer (*flutters about like an idiot*) sooo, I decided to stick with the reviews that other people may find interesting – therefore, out came the 'FAQ' section. :)

I can't believe so many people actually read this story! Wow! I feel really ashamed that I haven't cracked up a chapter in more than two months, so hopefully this will make up for it. And I am SO sorry for the late update, I had a really, really, really bad case of Writer's Block. It was horrible! In the end, I managed to pull this out, but I'm not happy with it. It's not remotely funny, so I'm really, really sorry! :(

Azkaban: Marauder Style
By xDark Ladyx

Part Five: Two Sides of the Same Coin

By the time that Dumbledore would get the news of Voldermort's attack, it would be too late. You see, Lord Voldermort may have a superiority complex, but he, by no means, was stupid. He had suspected that Severus was double-crossing him long before the evidence came into light. He didn't want Dumbledore and his little Order messing up his plans again. Besides, it would be a sort of...test of loyalty.

So, whilst Dumbledore was rapidly collecting his unoccupied forces with the aim of engaging him for long enough, Voldemort himself was luxuriously striding through the corridors of Azkaban. The Dementors had held them back for quite a while, but the ones that had remained loyal to the Ministry, were easily taken care of – ha, he loved being the Dark Lord!

Voldemort let out a short, insane laugh, which echoed across the room, bouncing of the cells. Behind him, a Death Eater trembled uncertainly. "Hurry up, you fools – release all my followers! My faithful minions shall be rewarded justly! The era of the Dark Lord is approaching!"

Not bothering to see their progress, he continued his pursuit across the prison. All around him, his imprisoned followers shot up and grabbed the bars of their home for the last 15 years, squealing in delight and dark anticipation. Voldemort's red eyes gleamed with glee, "Now – to finally finish off that pathetic, weak Potter!"

By the time that all Voldemort's loyal servants were freed, it would be too late for them. You see, Dumbledore may act like an old, candy-loving grandfather, but he, by no means, was stupid. He had suspected that Voldemort thought that Severus was double-crossing him, long before the evidence came to light. He didn't want Voldemort getting away with his plans again. But, it would surely be a test of loyalty – for Harry, that is.

So, while Voldemort was taking his time and gloating, Dumbledore was calling an emergency signal to every Order member. The quick explanations that were forced had held them back for quite a while, but the ones that were completely loyal to him were easily taken care of. Ha – he loved being in such a position of power.

Dumbledore let out a sudden, amused chuckle, which echoed around his office, bouncing off the queer metal objects on display. Behind him, an Order member raised an eyebrow, uncertainly. "Hurry up, my friends – today we will release the world from Voldemort's reign! All those who fight for light will be rewarded justly! The era of the peace is approaching!"

Not bothering to see how they took it, he continued speaking of his pursuit of justice. All around him, his subordinates watched him with admiration and amazement. Dumbledore's bright blue eyes twinkled, "Now – let us go, to finally finish off the tyranny of Voldemort!"

As the Order members apparated inside the defenceless castle of Azkaban, the Death Eaters (even the freed ones, who had been quickly supplied with alternative wands) formed an impending barrier, blocking the entrance. They were waiting for them – there was no way that they would let them get to their Lord.

Both sides rushed towards each other, and there was a flurry of spells thrust at their opponents. Nobody noticed Dumbledore quickly slip into another form and hurry away. After all, nobody pays attentions to insignificant little, baby goats.

Voldemort towered over Potter's cell, a dark sneer on his face. He took in the weak, almost dead form of Harry Potter, lying on top of a dirty mess of hair that he could only presume was Black. He was reaching towards a mangled, red-haired girl, his eyes drooping, as if even such a small action caused him great pain.

He cackled – what an easy thing it would be, to defeat Potter! The Ministry were such fools – they had made it horribly simple for him to kill him!

Dumbledore towered over the tiny form of a cockroach, which skittled through the bars of a cell. He glared down at the floor, and continued skipping…um…trotting, his hooves clicking against the cold floor.

Why, oh why did he have to have a goat as his Animagus? If he could, he would've buried his face in his beard, but the little goatee on his chin didn't allow even that.

Voldemort paused, and narrowed his eyes. There was something…wrong with this picture. His senses had been twitching ever since he had entered this part of Azkaban. His keen, evil eyes flickered over the trembling form of Potter and suddenly realisation dawned on him. He cursed silently and gripped his wand tightly.

"This isn't possible – how could they cast an illusion on their cells, without a wand?" Voldemort muttered, moving his stick in an intricate pattern, "Unless…unless this has been a Ministry plot the whole time. No – those bumbling fools are no more useful than a goat!"

Running – um, walking very fast in a…goat-like manner – through the halls, Dumbledore couldn't help but feel an unexplainable flash of anger.

But, of course, he passed it off as an overdose of stress. (Surely it couldn't be faulted to lemon drops, after all, as they were Magic's gift to Muggles – and that of course, left nothing else to be the explanation.)

Making a rather violent slash downwards, Voldemort watched as the illusion slowly unveiled itself, his excitement building by each second. So what if there was a small charm over the cell – the people inside would still be just as he expected. Useless, frail and ultimately, ripe for the killing.

As the last of the disguise faded away, Voldemort's energy fizzled out, as he was met with nothing but a bright red curtain, with a large, tacky gold poster messily taped onto it.

Please remember to knock.

Voldemort scoffed.

If it's Voldy – please go back to your sad, pathetic hole of a fortress. Your life will be relatively peaceful if you do that rather than enter. Or you may end up on the back of Quirrell's, um, backside. You know, since his head is probably burnt off anyway. And please don't burn the curtains, Tommy, they were a rather nice shade, don't you think?

Voldemort didn't know what infuriated him more: the childish use of his name (Muggle or otherwise), the indifference reference to the fact that Potter was the one that somehow defeated him (momentarily, of course) forcing him, mere shadow and vapour, to inhabit on the back of some idiot's head, or the fact that the note was so utterly stupid that it was insulting the slightest. (1)

Furiously, he forced the curtains apart with a wordless spell, and his eyes glittered, getting ready to throw a deadly, vicious spell at Potter who was –

Now, here is a special intervention from the purely fictional Psychology Team, consisting of two already mentally scarred guards:

Steven: Voldemort is a very evil person. He is a maniac that feels no emotions.
Lucas: He is heartless. He doesn't even know what emotions are.
Steven: Emotions scare him. Just like death.
Lucas: When faced with something he knows nothing about, he will run.
Steven: *looks awkward* ...like we did.
Lucas: …yes. *clears throat nervously*

– making out with a Weasley.

Voldemort faltered. His eyes grew as wide as saucers (if Lucius was watching, he would probably notice, with frightened awe, how similar they looked to that foolish elf, Dobby's) and he took a step back, his hand shaking.

"W-w-w-" he seemed to stutter, unable to comprehend what was happening, before he exploded, "WHAT IS HAPPENING!"

A black, shaggy dog lifted his head from his small bed, looking at him with amused grey eyes, which seemed to be taunting him. Neither Potter nor the She-Weasley had turned from their previous activities. Voldemort gripped his bald head in agony. He was going insane!

Suddenly the couple broke apart, and a fully healthy, energized Potter looked up at him with cool eyes, "Didn't you read the sign? Please remember to knock?"

Voldemort's thoughts were going a hundred miles per second – how was this possible? The room – the people – Potter – what Potter was doing – how? Was he hallucinating? Yes, that must be it – he must've forgotten to have his vitamin potions (not being a human meant he had to have a hundred of those per day) today, and this was all not really, because there was no, no way that this could possibly happen –

Another Intervention from Steve & Lucas (feel free to ignore this! They highly recommend you do!)

Lucas: Then, he'd probably go into denial.
Steven: *pauses* …like we did.
Lucas: You know, I really, really feel like strangling you right now.

Dumbledore skidded to a halt, only a few meters away from Voldemort, who looked as if his baby – um, his very ferocious, man-eating baby snake, that is – had just died. Not bothering to question why, he opened his mouth to cry out, heroically, "Stop right there, Tom!" and save the day from the evil villain.

…too bad he forgot he was still a goat.

Voldemort turned, almost mechanically, and his scarlet red eyes zeroed in onto the small form of a goat. He growled. Now he was seeing goats as well? Goats didn't just pop up out of nowhere, not in Azkaban! Damn it all – this was all just a delusion anyway. Voldemort snarled and pulled out his wand, "Avada Kedavra!"

Fortunately, the goat in question quickly regained his senses and turned back into the unmistakable form of Albus Dumbledore, whom wandlessly blocked the spell with a large box. Unfortunately for Voldemort, at the pace he was thinking, he only managed to see a version of the truth.

And that was a rather stupid looking goat; make a block appear out of nowhere.

Voldemort howled, and proceeded to Disapparate away. He just couldn't take it anymore! He was going crazy!

Dumbledore looked up, shocked as the famed Dark Lord lost his façade and forfeited the battle (which had barely even started) within seconds. Whatever was in that chamber must have traumatised him horribly. He stepped forward, cautiously, only to be met by a bright red curtain, and a gold poster, which was unevenly pinned onto the fabric.

Please remember to knock.

Albus raised an eyebrow, dubiously.

If it's ol' Dumbly – Kindly disappear from this area, and while you're at it, choke on your lemon drops. It would do the whole world good. Really.

And for the first time, 'Dumbly' was absolutely and utterly speechless, his mind not being able to fully comprehend what was taped onto Harry's cell.

Hmm…gives you déjà vu, doesn't it?

(1) My fault…I couldn't think of anything funny… -_-"

Author's Box.

I am not at all happy with this chapter. I really don't like it at all. It seems like a rather dragged out, boring attempt at humour, but I know, at this point, I really can't do much better with this. It took me ages to even put something up. So, I'm sorry, but this is what you get. It's not my best (in my eyes) but it's better than nothing.

I am dreadfully sorry for the lack of updates, but I would still love you to bits if you reviewed. It really does help motivation, and it's the fact that I've been getting sudden reviews for this that prompted me to get of my ass and start writing. ;)

Thank you all so, so much!

D x